"Yeah, you girls should come in! We were about to play Monopoly, but it's no fun with only two people," I insisted, "And it's bloody freezing Antarctica out there."
Lillian and Daya stepped inside appreciatively, taking off their coats.
"Oooh the Twat's house is rather nice on the inside! No offence but it's a flipping jungle out there," said Lillian.
"None taken," replied Lyle suavely. If I had said something like that I'd be standing on one leg right now, "The gardener quit recently," he explained. I was amazed at the nonchalant way that Lyle seemed to condense five years into 'recently'. If it were that easy we'd have working time machines by now.
"Make yourselves at home. I can only imagine this late night visit must be due to something urgent. I do hope your arm isn't paining you too much," he continued in his gentleman mode.
"Sweet of you to mention that! But I can't really feel anything in this cast. Only a terrible itch," Lillian replied while slowly placing her jacket on a nearby rack.
"Wow, it's true what they say. You really are a real gentleman. Like, for real. It's Sparrowick's Hottest Teenager in the flesh!," Daya said enlightening us all. She had a bad habit of overusing the word 'really'.
"Thank you…Daya, was it?"
"And those cheekbones! Lillian, check out his hair too, and his really big eyes…and his hands look so manly…Is that a bracelet you're wearing?" Daya enquired. Daya's speech made me want to throw up everything I had eaten since I was born. All Lyle's supposed good looks were part of a bigger disguise that nobody seemed to notice, even though it was as apparent as grass being green.
"It's not a bracelet, actually. Lea and I were simply messing about and…this is what happened," Lyle showed the world our predicament.
Lillian's eyes went wide open. "My brother was watching this X-rated film the other night. You two look just like the couple from that," she explained.
What?! I thought in utmost horror, making more clinking sounds as I recoiled.
Lyle smiled to humour her, and then subtly changed the topic.
"Lillian, you hands are quite petite. Could you help us get the key? It's stuck in a crack in the floor." Once again, Lyle had somehow mind-read my plans.
"No prob, Twat! My parents always make me do that kind of stuff…putting in the plugs behind the TV, getting loose change from behind the sofa, peeling oranges…you know,"
Wow, even peeling oranges! The more Lillian spoke the more unique she felt to me. I couldn't get enough of her calling Lyle a 'twat'. I was willing to pay her to teach me too.
The four of us made our way to Lyle's room. Truth is, I could not have dreamt of a weirder situation. It was 12.30 am on a school night. Lillian and Daya (who for some reason was dressed as a pirate, and no-one seemed to care or notice) had just barged into the Parkers' house. The Monopoly board was set up in one of the guest rooms. And I was handcuffed to Lyle, as I have been for the past three chapters. Fortunately the end was near.
After a bit of rummaging with her good hand Lillian produced the little piece of metal.
"Let me unlock you guys!" she insisted.
My heart beat increased as the key slowly turned, Lillian carefully avoiding to use her slung arm. This was it.
A resonating click. My wrist was free, free from the shackles! I massaged it a bit, feeling elation at my liberty. The poor thing had a couple of scratches, bruises and finger nail marks. Admittedly my wrist had had a worse day than me. "Lillian, you are a saviour even in real life," I said, truly thankful.
Lyle too was nursing his wrist surreptitiously. He leaned a little closer and whispered something in my ear, "We'll stick to ropes next time."
We?!
"I really had no idea you two were in such an adult relationship. Like, really," Daya mentioned to me as we made our way to the Monopoly.
"We really are not. Lyle is a sadist. He forced me into this because he enjoys witnessing my pain," I said firmly.
"As usual, you are really bad at lying, Lea!" Daya said giggling, "At least that means he's free for me!"
We sat on the famous bed, taking our places around the Monopoly board. I still didn't quite understand why I was playing Hasbro board games with the most random group of people ever: my best friend, my role model and my Ultimate Enemy. To add even more spice, Steven had joined us too.
"The railroads are mine," he greeted us with his characteristic lop-sided smile.
Now that I was a free woman, I really should have made my way back home, where my mother's apple pie had been awaiting me all day. Also, I still had to de-weed the pumpkin patch, and finish off a bit of Maths homework. In fact, my first class tomorrow was Maths. I was somehow being dragged into this whirlwind world that belonged to strange people.
I guess you are only seventeen once.
* * *
"Before we begin, can I just ask why you girls came here? You've helped us, but we have not returned the favour," Lyle began authoritatively yet politely. I felt like I could easily get used to the 'nice' Lyle.
Apparently Daya – being a regular contributor to the local paper - was interviewing Lillian about her role in organizing the Annual Sparrowick Halloween Fete. Lillian had spontaneously remembered that she needed to talk to Steven Parker, and Daya came along for the ride.
"Steven?" I asked incredulously. I knew that Lillian and Lyle went to the same grammar school, but I had no idea that she was familiar with Steven too. She really did seem like the perfect person with cherries on top.
"So, Steven, can you play your cello at the Halloween Fete? Please say you can, pleeeeeease?" Lillian begged.
"Oh, I don't know…" he replied coyly.
"You must! You're a national celebrity, and a nobleman on top of that. People would die to see you."
Nobleman…?
"They're better off dead then. Steven's playing isn't all that great," Lyle said shrugging.
"And that's why you're a twat. A deaf twat," retorted Lillian.
Did Lillian really want her other arm broken too? I could sense Lyle's temper quickly rising. His eyes closed by a fraction of a millimetre and his breathing increased very slightly. Poor girl. She didn't even know that the one who broke her first arm was sitting right opposite her.
"Alright, why not, Lillian? Anything to annoy my cute little brother!" answered Steven. Lyle was hiding his emotions remarkably well. No wonder people thought he was someone else.
Lillian's eyes lit up, and Daya clapped her hands. I did too, rejoicing the fact that I actually could without any restraints.
"And who knows? Perhaps Lord Sparrowick will make an entrance if you play," said Lillian mysteriously.
"Wow, that's really true! A real, real nobleman! But he hasn't been around for years…" said Daya a little wistfully. I should have been listening to what she said but that pirate hat was too distracting.
Steven and Lyle shared a knowing glance. Everyone seemed so excited about this Lord Sparrowick character, but I had no clue as to what or who he was.
"Who's Lord Sparrowick?" I finally asked.
There was silence for a few minutes.
"You've lived here all your life, and you still don't know? That is really too dumb," said my ex-best friend Daya.
Lyle gave me a mocking look. "Surely you do know. You've met him plenty of times."
My mind was as empty as Lyle's heart.
"He used to spin you around in the air, and you loved it," added Steven.
My mother's clothes drying rack used to spin, but apart from that I couldn't recall anything.
"Lord Sparrowick is my father, Lea," elucidated Lyle.
Chapter VII: Released
* * *
My memories of Lyle's father are somewhat limited, but when my mind wanders I occasionally recall his joyous face, strong laugh and most of all his gigantic body. I also remember his passion for hunting, and though that was something I feared, I mostly liked him, just as I like Steven and Mrs Parker (aka Lady Sparrowick). It's Lyle that's the proble
m case.
"Lord…? I had no idea you Parkers were nobility," I expressed my surprise. Daya clicked her tongue and said something about me 'living in an empty paper bag my entire life'.
"It hasn't always been like that, Lea. Our baroness grandmother passed away five years ago from excessive wine-drinking and chocolate-eating. So the title passed down to our missing father," said Steven.
Sure seemed like a lot of drama happened five years ago. Some inner voice told me that all the things that happened then could not have been a series of co-incidences, but that was probably just my imagination. You could forgive me for not knowing this key information about Lyle's dad as I was slightly wrapped up in my own father dying on me etc. Was this why my mother asked me to stay close to Lyle? It is funny to think that two hundred years on from Jane Austen people still value the same things in a man:
1. Money (check. I mean, how huge is this bed, let alone the whole castle?)
2. Looks (Not sure about this one…)
3. Connections (Lord Lyle does have a ring to it. So does 'Lady Lea' come to think of it)
"So yeah, maybe Lord Sparrowick will really grace this town with a visit! God knows we need some proper gossip around here. Every day I really struggle to find a juicy story for the paper," said Daya emotionally. I wished on a passing star that Daya would quit misusing the word 'really'.
"I very much doubt it," said Lyle giving a dry smile, "Anyway, if no-one wants to be the car, I'll take it." He placed his Monopoly token on the GO square.
"I call shotgun on the iron!" I said as fast as possible.
"Nobody cares about the iron anyway…" said Daya. I was deeply offended by this, but tried not to show it. Lillian and Steven giggled jovially.
While everyone was busy choosing tokens and rolling dice, I decided to build up my courage and ask Lyle a question.
"Hey," I whispered to catch his attention, "Why don't you apologize to her now?"
"If I do, you won't help me with the stall at Halloween," he replied without hesitation. And that was that. I had no time or space to say anything else as the game had officially begun.
Though it was a school night and the clock was nearing 1 am, I had a good time playing this sleepover game (despite Steven's rhetorical questions of 'Where's the booooooooooze?'). In fact, the highlight of the game had to be when I rolled twelve onto community chest and got a card that said 'Go straight to Park Lane'. Obviously I bought it and awaited Mayfair, its neighbour, eagerly. It was the icing on the cake when Lyle rolled twelve, landed on Community Chest, and got a Go to Jail card. Served him right, what kind of sane person keeps handcuffs and kitchen knives in their room anyway?
"What kind of crap is that? I really wanted Mayfair," he said dejectedly. I knew him better than that. He just wanted it to jeopardize my chances of building a house on the dark blue properties! He didn't care about Mayfair's true beauty…
And then, by pure chance his knee and mine briefly touched. I quickly jerked back as what felt like an electric current ran up my body. I had no idea what had just happened, but clearly Lyle had placed some static charge on his leg. I mean, this is Lyle after all. He probably eats electricity for breakfast.
"Aw, they look so cute when they're flirting! Anyway, Steven, lend me your lap, I need to rest my head for a while," said Lillian. She started snoring as soon as she touched Steven. All he could do was shrug. "How can I practise my music when a girl's made me her pillow?" he asked desperately. I assured him that she would leave in a few hours (probably).
And thus the bed had claimed its first victim.
This would have been a good time for me to leave, but unfortunately I was the second victim. Those smooth, warm silky covers with a blanket that was at least as heavy as the earth itself made my eyelids droop like I was sitting in History class.
* * *
In England in October the sun does not rise until what feels like 2 pm or something. In fact, the northern sun is even lazier than students during winter. So when I woke up, it was still quite dark outside. The grandfather clock said it was 8.20 am.
Maths class starts at 8.30 am so it must have been lying. I rubbed my eyes.
Big hand was on four and small hand was between eight and nine. 8.20. Unless they taught us wrongly in primary and the big hand was the hour hand…then it would be 4.43 am. Or would it? Was I right? Was I wrong? Was this all a dream? Maybe if I slept ten minutes longer time would go backwards… that made sense right? Anyway who wants to get up when it's dark outside and the bed is so soft and comfortable? I could bet that even the teachers would be late.
Just one more minute. I wanted to snuggle up against this warm blanket. My nose was buried under its layers and my arm wrapped around it tightly. It smelled so familiar and good. I hadn't slept this well in years…
Blankets don't normally breathe do they?
And that's when I sobered up.
I had unknowingly covered my face in the groove of Lyle's neck. My arm encircled his chest, and I was basically using his back as something to lean my entire body on. My fingers were intertwined in his. It looked like I had taken over his body. When my heart learnt the truth of my situation it started beating a million times a second, mostly likely out of fear. I carefully disentangled myself from him. Sure, I would admit that it had momentarily felt nice, but nobody sleeps in a lion's cave even if it's comfortable. I prayed to all the gods in the world that he wouldn't wake up. I would so be skinned alive if he did.
Everything was going fine, until he grabbed my wrist in his sleep.
"Leave your jacket here," he ordered. I could not really see how that benefitted anyone, so I did. Anything to put him back to sleep. He continued to mumble something.
"I still haven't forgiven you for all those terrible things you did to me these five long years…" he continued sleepily. He was probably having a bad dream. I felt sorry for the dream.
He still hadn't let go of my poor, ex-handcuffed wrist.
"You can't conceal your hatred from me. But it is nothing compared to my rancour towards you. You, my only friend in the entire universe, dared to abandon me when I needed you the most…and if you go through those doors now…you'll only betray me again."
At this point I actually had no clue what he was going on about, and most likely neither did he - but some primal instinct told me that it was about to get dangerous.
"I have Maths in seven minutes Lyle…go back to sleep," I whispered desperately. He dropped my wrist heavily and his regular even breathing resumed. It was a breathing pattern I knew very well. Heavy in and long, slow out. Strange to say but I felt relieved to hear it. And looking back at his sleeping figure, I guess I could forgive a girl for being swayed by his physical features.
I then poked Daya where she is most ticklish.
"We only have six minutes to get to Ratburn's class!" I told her, my voice replacing an alarm clock.
"Six minutes!?" she exclaimed, "Lea, that's plenty, why d'you wake me?"
"Idiot! You're still in your pirate costume!" I tried to reason with her.
She got up and stretched like an alley cat (a ginger one). "I can get to school in five minutes on my bike," she said proudly as we walked out of the room.
I looked behind to see Lyle sleeping peacefully. His midnight black locks of hair covered the white pillows. Lillian and Steven too were sprawled on that huge bed, and I envied them slightly. A stranger would have thought something very immoral had happened here last night, but their calm, innocent faces would have made him reconsider.
"Excellent!" I said to Daya, "Let me hitch a ride, please?"
"No way! If you sit on my bike I'll go at half the speed. Simple physics, Lea!" Daya explained.
"Just use more muscle, god knows you need the exercise," I retorted.
Despite her grumbling and reluctance, she agreed. It's one of the perks of being a best friend.
"What about the rest of the gang?" enquired Daya.
"Well, Steven graduated from school a few ye
ars ago; he's here on holiday from work. As for Lyle and Lillian…they're grammar school twats who probably have their first class later than us," I said.
"Cool. Let's go, go, go!" Daya placed her three-cornered pirate hat on her head and wore her helmet on top of it. If that didn't wake the police up I didn't know what would.
As I walked through the entrance doors and through the overgrown garden it occurred to me that I would never have to come back here, and definitely not of my own free will. These past two days had been an accident, one that would never be repeated. I could once again live my life in peace without the bullying and violence of my neighbour. When I walked through those doors I felt the same way as a prisoner walking free out of jail. I wasn't handcuffed, or blindfolded or being shouted at or humiliated by Lyle. It was a brand new day, fresh out of the laundry. I could now truthfully say that the Nightmare with my Neighbour was well and truly at an end.
Heh, who was I kidding? It had only just begun…
Chapter VIII: Unsolved
* * *
Another tiring old monotonous day at school came to an end. Granted, it was a little later than usual thanks to Daya and her pirate costume leading to detention, which I somehow got roped into. As an apology Daya conceded to drop me back home on her bike, an offer I gratefully accepted.
"Here you go, safe at home. Still can't believe they gave us detention. Just because I wasn't wearing the stuffy uniform…How can I practise for the Halloween Fete Costume Competition if everyone around here is so narrow-minded?" Daya ranted. I nodded sagely.
Nightmare with the Neighbour Page 4