Praise for
Out to Lunch
“A sparkling, heartwarming novel with all the elements of a can’t-put-it-down read—a heroine you’ll root for, unexpected plot twists, and dangerously good descriptions of food!”
—Sarah Pekkanen, author of The Best of Us
“A funny and heartfelt tale of friendship, food, and how difficult it can be to open yourself up to love . . . This is Stacey Ballis at her witty and chef-tastic best.”
—Amy Hatvany, author of Safe with Me and Heart Like Mine
“Ballis delves again into foodie women’s lit with flavorful results . . . Honest and touching.”
—Kirkus Reviews
Off the Menu
“Readers hungry for cleverly written contemporary romances will definitely want to order Off the Menu.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Another fabulous and soul-satisfying meal . . . With the perfect blend of humor and heart, Ballis’s writing is powerfully honest and genuinely hilarious.”
—Jen Lancaster, New York Times bestselling author of Twisted Sisters and The Tao of Martha
“Enticing. Ballis writes a bit like Emily Giffin and Isabel Wolff, and the recipes will please gal foodies as well.”
—Booklist
“Smart, sexy, and delightfully buoyant . . . In a word, scrumptious.”
—Quinn Cummings, author of The Year of Learning Dangerously
“Interesting characters and a satisfying plot . . . Fans of Stacey Ballis will devour her latest book.”
—Examiner.com
“A great contemporary romance about a chef striving to find balance in her life and enjoying both her man and her career.”
—The Parkersburg News and Sentinel
Good Enough to Eat
“Good Enough to Eat is like a perfect dish of macaroni and cheese—rich, warm, nuanced, and delicious. And like any great comfort food, Stacey Ballis’s new book is absolutely satisfying.”
—Jen Lancaster
“Witty and tender, brash and seriously clever . . . Her storytelling will have you alternately turning pages and calling your friends urging them to come along for the ride. And in Stacey Ballis’s talented hands, oh what a wonderful ride it is.”
—Elizabeth Flock, New York Times bestselling author of What Happened to My Sister
“A toothsome meal of moments, gorgeously written, in warmth and with keen observation, Good Enough to Eat is about so much more than the magic of food; it’s about the magic of life. Pardon the cliché, but you’ll devour it and wish there was more to savor.”
—Stephanie Klein, author of Straight Up and Dirty and Moose
The Spinster Sisters
“Readers will be rooting for Ballis’s smart, snappy heroines.”
—Booklist
“A laugh-out-loud hoot of a book. Jodi and Jill are amazing characters. They are challenged by balancing their business lives with style, charm, and grace. A must-read.”
—A Romance Review
“Filled with characters so witty and diverse yet so strong in their passion for friends and family that they could easily be our best friend or favorite aunt . . . Women of every age will relate to Ballis’s clever yet unassuming story about sisterhood, dating dramas, and the bonds of friendship and family.”
—RT Book Reviews
Room for Improvement
“For those who say ‘chick lit’ is played out, all I can say is think again. Stacey Ballis proves the genre can be funny, honest, clever, real, and, most importantly, totally fresh.”
—Jen Lancaster
“More fun than a Trading Spaces marathon. One of the season’s best.”
—The Washington Post Book World
“Rife with humor—always earthy, often bawdy, unwaveringly forthright humor.”
—Chicago Sun-Times
“A laugh-out-loud novel that will appeal to HGTV devotees as well as those who like their chick lit on the sexy side. One of the summer’s hot reads for the beach.”
—Library Journal
“In her third outing, Ballis offers up a frothy, fun send-up of reality TV. Readers will have a blast.”
—Booklist
Sleeping Over
“Ballis presents a refreshingly realistic approach to relationships and the things that test (and often break) them.”
—Booklist
“Fans of relationship dramas will appreciate this fine, character-driven tale.”
—The Best Reviews
“Sleeping Over will have you laughing, crying, and planning your next girls’ night out.”
—Romance Reader at Heart
“This engaging story delivers everything you ask from a great read: It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it makes you feel.”
—Romance Divas
Inappropriate Men
One of Chatelaine.com’s Seven Sizzling Summer Reads for 2004
“An insightful and hilarious journey into the life and mind of Chicagoan Sidney Stein.”
—Today’s Chicago Woman
“Ballis’s debut is a witty tale of a thirtysomething who unexpectedly has to start the search for love all over again.”
—Booklist
“Stacey Ballis’s debut novel is a funny, smart book about love, heartbreak, and all the experiences in between.”
—Chatelaine.com
“Without compromising the intelligence of her readers, Ballis delivers an inspiring message of female empowerment and body image acceptance in her fun, sexy debut novel.”
—Inside Lincoln Park
Berkley Books by Stacey Ballis
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
THE SPINSTER SISTERS
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT
OFF THE MENU
OUT TO LUNCH
RECIPE FOR DISASTER
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
USA • Canada • UK • Ireland • Australia • New Zealand • India • South Africa • China
penguin.com
A Penguin Random House Company
This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.
Copyright © 2015 by Stacey Ballis.
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
BERKLEY® is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
eBook ISBN: 978-1-101-61258-3
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ballis, Stacey.
Recipe for disaster / Stacey Ballis.—Berkley trade paperback edition.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-425-26550-5 (paperback)
I. Title.
PS3602.A624R43 2015
813'.6—dc23
2014043350
PUBLISHING HISTORY
Berkley trade paperback edition / March 2015
Cover design by Rita Frangie.
Cover photo composition by S. Miroque.
“Woman cooking pizza at home” by Hasloo Group Production Studio
/ Shutterstock;
“Schnauzer” by ARTSILENSE / Shutterstock.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
PUBLISHER’S NOTE: The recipes contained in this book are to be followed exactly as written. The publisher is not responsible for your specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision. The publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained in this book.
Version_1
For Bill.
Because my house wasn’t complete till you moved into it, and now wherever you are is home to me.
Acknowledgments
This book is dedicated with much love and gratitude to the people who have most informed my sense of home. My dad, Stephen, who taught me that it is always okay to over-improve a property if it comes from a place of love and passion. My mom, Elizabeth, who has devoted her entire professional life to finding people their homes, and her personal life to making a loving and happy home for our family. My grandmother Jonnie, for teaching me that the kitchen is the heart of a home, that it is always preferable to be fearless there, and if the fudge doesn’t set, call it fudge sauce and buy ice cream. My sister, Deborah, who keeps any home she is in full of laughter.
For Lew Coulson, who trusted us to take care of our house with the same loving commitment that he did, and made one of my biggest lifelong dreams possible.
For Bill and Colette Rodon-Hornof, who listened to twenty years’ worth of ideas for our dream home, and heard what we needed, and designed something that exceeds every one of those dreams.
For Patrick King and Dennis Leary, for working so hard to make it all come to life, and for being excellent recipe tasters.
For Penny, who suffers endless hours of discussion of all the minutiae that goes into the design of every space. Whatever style and beauty our house contains always has her magical input and impeccable taste.
For Amy and Wayne, and Lisa, who are so generous with their own homes and make us feel like family when we are with them.
For Leslie Gelbman, Wendy McCurdy, Katherine Pelz, Caitlin Valenziano, Craig Burke, Brian Wilson, and everyone else on the Berkley team, for giving me such a wonderful professional home, and for Scott Mendel, who got me into their hands to begin with.
For my extraordinary friends, each and every one of them, you know how much I treasure you all.
For Quinn, who not only gave me some of the initial inspiration for this book, but let me borrow her daughter’s name to boot.
And in loving memory of Molly Glynn, who was a bright light snuffed way too early. We’re all stepping through it. Love hard. Be kind. Always remember.
Also a small shout-out to the person who invented central air-conditioning. Seriously, like the fifth best thing to happen in my life. Not kidding.
Contents
Praise for Stacey Ballis
Berkley Books by Stacey Ballis
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Epilogue
Recipes
SIX MONTHS FROM NOW . . .
I slip the dress over my head. I can’t remember the last time I was actually in a dress. It’s definitely been over a year. I’m not big on dresses in general; it can be hard to find them for my shape. If they actually fit over my substantial boobs and wide hips, I lose my waist entirely and become a blob. Or they make me look like the mother of the bride. I was just going to wear the charcoal gray wrap dress that is always my fancy-night-out go-to, but the girls pitched a fit. And when I told them we were just going to go to city hall and then maybe have a really nice meal somewhere, you’d have thought I suggested we sacrifice puppies. On a burning altar of rare oil paintings. In the middle of the Vatican.
So my wedding gift from them turned out to be the wedding itself, and everything that entails. Caroline took charge of the whole thing, refusing to let me decline either her generosity or her good taste. It was a relief. I’m just not your girly girl dreaming of a foofy dress and bells and whistles. For most of my life I presumed that marriage itself was not for me, so now that I’m actually taking the plunge, handing over the endless details to people who think these things matter was a huge weight off my shoulders, and allowed me to keep my focus on my work while they pulled the thing together with my gratitude and carte blanche to make the decisions. Best kind of wedding? The one where you just have to show up.
At least the wedding planning gave them a chance to bond a little bit with my groom, who did have some things about the day that were important to him, and if it didn’t fully solidify their connection to each other, it at least appears to have created an atmosphere of respect and the beginnings of acceptance.
Caroline, in addition to being the wedding planner and hosting the whole shindig at her beautiful house, found the dress for me, her taste in all things being impeccable. It’s a wonderful shade of medium gray with a lot of green in it that makes my skin look creamy, and my auburn hair sparkle, and my hazel eyes pick up the green in fiery flecks. It’s made of some kind of heavy matte silk, with a sort of an early 1960s vibe, a wide scoop neck that shows off my shoulders and my décolletage, very fitted to the waist, keeping everything locked and loaded, and then a wide sweep of skirt over an actual crinoline. I’m making kind of fun rustling noises, and for once it isn’t just my ample thighs rubbing together. With the sparkly gold kitten heels I borrowed from Hedy, the effect is just perfect. The wide skirt masks my hips and substantial butt, the skirt hits just at the bottom curve of my muscular calf, giving the illusion of a slender ankle; the whole effect makes me look like . . .
“You look like a brickhouse,” Hedy says, whistling under her breath.
“I know. It’s weird.” Even when I do wear dresses, I never feel beautiful or sexy, I just feel dressed up.
“It’s not weird, it’s fantastic.” This, for her, is a statement of fact, an approval of the costume, if not the circumstance.
“Well, you don’t look so bad yourself.” She’s wearing a stunning deep eggplant shift dress with a wide gold architectural necklace and chunky gold bracelets. Her chestnut hair is pulled back into a bouncy ponytail, shiny and subtly highlighted. And she’s wearing a killer pair of black cage heels that I’m sure cost more than a mortgage payment, and in which I would be on my ass in less than four minutes.
“Here, let me put this on you.” She comes forward with a beautiful bracelet, an art deco design in diamonds and sapphires. She clasps it on my wrist. “Perfect.”
“Hey, you guys almost ready in here?” Mar
ie pokes her head around the corner. She’s wearing a fun vintage strapless dress on her voluptuous figure, in pale violet with a delicate rhinestone belt. Her long curly brown hair is twisted up into a loose bun with little ringlets escaping.
I always marvel that my three best friends in the world, as different as they are from each other, are all on the same page when it comes to dress and hair and special occasions. They like to put themselves together, to shop, to plan parties, to celebrate milestones with pomp and circumstance. Caroline likes to host at home, to show off her cooking skills, to arrange the flowers and make the little takeaway gifts by hand. Hedy is a restaurant girl, she loves a private room with a specially chosen menu, leaves the flowers to Cornelia McNamara, Chicago’s florist to the stars, and has one of her many personal shoppers decide on the trinkets. Marie bops back and forth between funky venues like the Diversey River Bowl or a road trip to a drive-in movie at the McHenry Outdoor Theatre, and casual parties at the Wicker Park loft she shares with her boyfriend, John. Marie leans more toward potlucks, chili cook-offs, dogs and burgers on the grill. All different, but the impulse is the same. To gather those you care about for joy and conviviality. My best guess is that it’s because they all had mothers who taught them how.
I should be flattered that they even deign to hang out with me, since my idea of shoe shopping involves steel-toed work boots, yesterday was my first manicure in nearly a year, and I almost always forget not only their birthdays, but my own too. Also? I never host a party. Ever. Occasionally a casual girls’ night, involving ordering in pizza or Thai with plenty of beer. My idea of hors d’oeuvres involves opening a cellophane bag or two and perhaps popping the lid off some dip.
“What do you say, lady? You ready?” Hedy asks me. Her voice is friendly but her mouth is a thin line. She looks at best resigned, and at worst pissed off, but I can’t even think about that today. Your friends have to forgive you eventually, and even if they don’t approve of the marital adventure I am about to embark upon, they’ll get over it once they realize that I’m just being true to myself.
“Yep. I’m ready.” I do one last check in the mirror. My usually unkempt frizzy mass of hair is tamed into gentle waves, pulled back off my face with an antique silver clip, and my usually bare face is accented simply with very natural blush, a swipe of shimmery gold eye shadow, mascara, and a pale pink lip gloss.
Recipe for Disaster Page 1