“You’re a good alpha, but you need to learn how to be ruthless. You need to learn that you can’t save everyone.”
“Maybe.” Raven found herself distracted by the way his fingers feathered along her skin. She leaned into him, unable to bring herself to pull away. “But we both know what’s happening here is wrong. These people need help.”
Jackson’s face turned serious. “Interference in pack business is a death sentence.”
“Even if they are forced into a pack against their will?”
Bitterness tinged the air around him. “Being here is better than what most of them can expect. You see them as abused, but pack uses its people to best support the pack. Only the alpha gets to decided which is best.”
Raven couldn’t believe what she was hearing and jerked away from him. “Even if it’s wrong?”
Jackson’s hand dropped to his side, his fingers fisting. “You still see things in the pack as right and wrong.”
She winced at his tone, knowing that she wasn’t as ruthless as she needed to be, not if they wanted to survive the shifter world. “You make that sound like a crime.”
He stroked a strand of her hair, playing with it between his fingers, not daring to touch more. “For any other alpha, it would be. Any sign of leniency, any sign of weakness, would destroy a pack.”
Her stomach lurched into her throat at the thought of her actions endangering the people she’d come to care about way too much. “Oh.”
“You’ve somehow made it into a strength. You’ve banded together a group of misfits in a way that no one else has ever been able to manage.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “If you want to stay, we’ll stay.”
Indecision warred inside her, the need to do what was right tugging at the need to keep her pack from harm. “I was trapped for most of my life in the labs, studied and tortured, along with dozens of other shifters. Wrong is wrong. I can’t abandon them, not yet. Give me another day. If things aren’t better, then we’ll pull out.”
She waited for his protest, but all he did was dip his head. She dropped her gaze and found herself distracted by the smattering of hair that arrowed down his chest and disappeared into the tiny shorts. Awareness tingled down her spine, and she was very conscious that this was the first time they’d been alone since he’d tricked her into claiming him.
And she couldn’t make herself regret what happened, fiercely glad to call this man hers. “Ah…” She cleared her painfully dry throat, trying to keep it professional. “You’ll want to try not to heal so fast.” Even now, the bruises had faded from a viscous black to a nasty green and yellow. “The last thing we want them to do is ask more questions. If they find out just how powerful you are, it will put us all in more danger.”
Jackson just shrugged it off. “I have a feeling that after tomorrow it won’t matter what they find out. You’ll either have torn out the infection in the pack or destroyed it altogether.”
He stated the brutal truth without a flicker of emotions, probably meant it as a compliment, but Raven bit her lip against the protest that rose.
After all, it was the truth.
Chapter Eighteen
DAY THREE: SECOND DAY OF CAPTIVITY – MORNING AFTER
Raven shifted restlessly, waking from a delicious dream with great reluctance, only to find a hand molded to her breast, while the other arm was rested over her hips, fingers playing with the edge of her panties. Her pants were undone, the zipper down. Her eyes shot open wide, and she bolted upright.
Or tried when the arms around her tightening, effortlessly holding her in place.
“Don’t move.”
Jackson’s rumbling groan vibrated down her spine, and the tension melted away. He leaned forward, his lips skimming down her neck, and she found herself tipping her head to give him better access.
Her hair spread over her face, the silver tips gleaming as she struggled to sting two words together. “Jackson?”
He opened his mouth, and a hint of fang trailed along her sensitive nape. A surprise splash of pure lust tingled over her body. A delicious shiver went down her spine at the faint threat of danger, and her body came alive with the simple caress and the promise of so much more. She fought his drugging affect to understand what was happening.
Jackson’s control was unraveling.
Her primitive side was fiercely glad of the effect she had on him, but the instant he bit her, things would change between them, and she wasn’t ready for that.
And until she could purge her body of the wild magic, her blood was toxic.
Needing to distract him, she arched and nestled her hips against his. His arousal pressed against her lower back. She should be afraid, demand he release her. Instead, she reached for him, her hand landing on his bare thigh. She dragged her fingers up, her nails slightly scraping against his skin until she cupped his ass.
His arms banded around her until she felt cocooned by warmth and his delicious scent. “Raven.”
Her name was a breath of air, drawn out and broken as his control wavered.
She tried to twist around to face him, but he wouldn’t allow her to move.
“Let me take care of you.”
Raven didn’t understand his words at first, not until his hand dropped lower and slipped inside her panties. Against her will, her hips tipped up, wanting more. “Jackson—”
“I can smell your need.” He inhaled deeply, and heat burned her face. Damned shifter senses. “You want me.”
The wonder in his voice had her swallowing hard. “But you said last night it would be too dangerous.”
She could feel his lips curl, all but able to see his devilish smile as he rubbed his nose up the back of her neck, until his mouth rested against the rim of her ear. “Too dangerous for me to lose control. That doesn’t mean you can’t.”
Her body trembled as his meaning became clear, and she bit her lips to hold back a groan of pure want. With each quick breath, her breast pushed harder against his hold and damn if she could ignore the sensations for much longer.
“Say yes.” He cuddled closer, his body moving in a way that brushed every inch of him against her, and she nearly growled at the barriers separating them. He was seducing her, and blast him, it was working.
Rules were hardcoded in him, and Raven realized that no matter how much he might want her, he would not take it without her permission. The knowledge just turned her on more. His hand burned where it rested possessively against her stomach. Tension spiked through the room as he waited for her answer.
One wrong move and he would snap.
It wouldn’t take much.
But damned if his control didn’t hold firm.
Bastard.
And she couldn’t bring herself to force the issue, especially since one slip would be against shifter law. Something told her that the punishment wouldn’t be just a slap on the wrist for touching her without her giving him formal permission.
Heat filled her face, and she hated him for forcing her to make the decision. At her silence, he retreated and devastation stomped on her heart.
She clutched at his wrist, her fingers trembling.
Going further would be stupidly dangerous.
Indecision churned in her stomach, leaving her with a queasy, thrilled feeling like just before jumping out of a plane.
If she didn’t jump, things would never be the same between them. He would retreat behind the impenetrable shell of an enforcer. The fragile emotions between them would slowly wither and so would her heart.
She couldn’t lose him again.
Her grip tightened, the cords of his muscles bunching under her fingers. Jackson was too masculine to be strictly handsome, but he had the irresistible combination of brains and brawn she found wildly attractive. He stripped himself of his defenses and left himself vulnerable … for her. He gave himself wholly and completely, and Raven found it irresistible.
For once in her life, Raven took a deep breath and decided to follow her heart.
“Don’t go.”
A rumble came from behind her at the words. His hips surged against her. His hand flexed around her breast while the other one dropped lower, teasing her with a light touch.
She arched toward his questing fingers, only to groan when he avoided her hint. Not willing to wait, she let her hands wander, tracing all the beautiful muscles along his side. Her fingers trailed down to the mouth-watering muscles of his abs, and he automatically sucked in a startled breath.
When she would’ve reached for his arousal, he shoved his leg between her thighs, effectively blocking her access. “Jackson.”
Then she forgot what she was going to stay when he touched her where she needed him most. He rocked against her, and she found her hips moving in rhythm with his as she rode his leg and hand. Each movement forced his fingers against her until all thought and reason vanished.
He eased one finger inside her, added pressure to all the right spots, and her world exploded in a show of lights that turned her insides liquid. Pleasure wrapped around her and swept her up. Claws escaped and sank into his flesh. Energy seeped from her pores, soaking into Jackson until she felt him growl. Raw pleasure rippled in the air between them, prolonging the ecstasy for a few heart-stopping minutes when he suddenly he threw himself out of the bed. He landed with a thump on the floor and scrambled to get away.
Startled by his reaction, her reason slowly returned as the haze of lust faded, replaced by worry that her deadly touch had hurt him. “Jackson?”
Speaking his name was like a lash, and Jackson shuddered, refusing to turn around and face her. Their harsh breathing filled the confined space, and the enjoyment of a few seconds ago vanished at his violent withdrawal.
Those blasted tiny shorts drew her gaze to his perfect body, muscles flexed as he paced back and forth in the whole three feet of room, prowling like his wolf counterpart. He had a tousled look, like he’d just gotten out of bed, his skin glistening in welcome, and her fingers twitched to run her hands over every inch of him on display, wanting to lure him back to bed.
But each step wound him up tighter and tighter, his stiff posture not inviting her closer. After what passed between them, the rejection stung. A full minute passed, and her insides feeling like they were being smashed in a vice as the silence turned awkward. “You regret what happened.”
He twitched as if she’d shot him, hunching his shoulders so far he was bent forward … as if trying to escape her.
Raven sat and straightened her clothing, the magical moment darkening into a nightmare. She knew better than to open herself up to someone and allow herself to get close, but mistake or not, she refused let him walk away without a damned good reason.
“Look at me.” Frustration and a touch of shame twisted through her, giving her voice a hint of command, enough to make him obey. “Talk to me.”
He turned slowly, his head lifting just enough for their gazes to clash. His eyes were a combination of brown and green as he stared at her, and she saw he was still struggling to remain human. His muscles rippled, his sheer force of will the only thing keeping him human. “I lost control.”
Raven didn’t understand. “So?”
His face hardened with self-incriminations. “I could’ve hurt you.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself, relief leaving her giddy. “You couldn’t hurt me even if you wanted, neither you nor your wolf would allow it.”
“You don’t understand. I—”
“Stop saying that.” Raven scrambled from the bed, suddenly furious. Feeling exposed and vulnerable, she tied her hair up in a messy knot. “I’m not a child, and I understand a lot more than you give me credit for. You keep saying that I’m not like one of your pack women. Well, maybe it’s time you stop trying to treat me like one.”
She turned her back on him, trying to get her breathing and thundering heartbeat under control. “I know what it is to be hurt. I also know that if I told you to stop at any time, you would’ve pulled back immediately, even if it would’ve killed you.”
“I almost bit you.” It came out a roar, his voice anguished and harsh.
Raven blanched, worried what the tainted magic would’ve done to him. She remembered the feel of his fangs as they brushed against her throat and shivered at what could’ve happened. She was ashamed to say all caution had vanished at his first touch. “Jackson—”
He almost came near her, ready to shake her. “You must never give a man permission to take your blood.”
This went beyond her fears of infecting him. He was terrified for her. “Explain.”
He shook his head, his movements more frantic. “Your blood contains power. It means that anyone who even takes a sip shares that power, but it also gives you a false sense of closeness to them while it’s in their system. A bite is a privilege that will give them power over you. Don’t you understand?”
Raven knew the dangers, accepted them, but this went beyond that of a simple bite. Something wasn’t right. Jackson was growing too agitated. “Have you ever felt the need to bite anyone?”
She held her breath at such a personal question, not sure she really wanted to know if he’d ever cared for anyone that much.
His mouth tightened, and she feared he wasn’t going to answer when he slowly shook his head. “My wolf has never been very interested in the women I’ve selected.”
Horrible realization slammed into her, and she thought she was going to be sick. “You said females are trained in your pack.”
Jackson stilled, his chest still heaving. “Yes.”
Her soul shriveled a bit more. “Trained so that they could be prepared when they are with a man, possibly control the beasts?”
“Stop it.” Jackson took a step toward her, then stopped, still terrified of touching her. “This is not your fault.”
Raven snorted, bitterness leaving a sour aftertaste in her mouth. “Good god, with every touch, every kiss, I’d practically tortured you because I hadn’t known what the hell I was doing.” She flushed with shame. She curled her hands into fists, mourning the closeness they shared for a few breath-stealing minutes, vowing to keep her distance until she could learn how badly she’d messed up.
Jackson immediately shook his head. “You did nothing wrong.”
A frown furrowed her brow at his vehemence. “Neither did you.”
His caustic laughter broke something fragile inside her chest. “I almost bit you!”
Her heart stuttered for a few seconds as the truth became clearer, her senses sharpening. “That’s what bothers you the most, isn’t it? That you almost hurt me. But you stopped.”
“But I didn’t want to. Don’t you get that?”
She’d been horribly wrong about everything. He wasn’t afraid of hurting her. He didn’t trust her, not the way she’d thought, and that was the real reason he was rejecting her. The room shrank down until she couldn’t breathe. She went hot then cold, feeling herself die a little as she headed toward the door and grabbed the knob. She glanced at him over her shoulder, her insides shattering beyond repair. “Maybe it’s not me you’re so afraid of getting hurt. You see, I trusted you not to harm me, but you can’t say the same about me, can you?”
Raven left before he could protest. It hurt too much to even look at him. Maybe it was cheating to leave in the middle of the argument, but she knew he would never follow until his beast was stable.
Shame pierced her for giving in to temptation when she knew better. So he fucking lost control. They both had. No, the real problem was he didn’t trust her enough to leave himself vulnerable. Hurt settled around her, and she felt bruised as if she’d been in the fight against Goliath instead of Jackson.
And the worst part, maybe he wasn’t wrong. Even the witch had said something similar. Dragons were protectors, but the wild magic changed them into destroyers. The process could already have been started.
Raven paused outside the trailer assigned to her, lost in thought, and threw open the door. The me
rmaid whirled, eyes wild and quickly shoved a piece of raw meat into her mouth.
Raven stumbled to a stop. “Sorry.”
Veronica ducked her head, swallowing the last mouthful, then smiled at her, patting a small cloth napkin to her lips. “Not at all, come in. I was just finishing up.”
But Raven could see the mermaid was disturbed to be caught snacking. The air smelled of blood and fresh meat, the scent slightly off, and damned if she could pin down what made her so queasy. Grabbing a change of clothes, Raven hurried to the closet they called a bathroom. “I just need to wash and get back to work. I’ll be right out.”
By the time Raven reemerged, the trailer was empty, smelling once more of vile cigarette smoke, covering any trace of what had left her so disturbed. Desperate to get away from the trailer and her doubts, she rushed out the door, nearly bowling over Taggert in the process.
They collided, and she quickly danced away before he could grab her.
His chocolate-brown eyes hardened as he raked his gaze over her from head to foot.
Was it her imagination or did he look at her differently after spending the night with Jackson?
It seemed whatever she touched always fell apart. A new loneliness crept into her heart.
“Are you all right?”
The gently spoken question brought tears to her eyes. She quickly blinked them away, but too late. A muscle along his jaw flexed, his hands fisted, and his whole body prepared to pounce. His increased aggressiveness continued to worry her. She wanted to brush her hands against his arm to calm him, but couldn’t bring herself to touch him after what’d just happened. “I’ll be fine. Were you able to find the boy?”
“Nothing yet, but I’m close.” He glanced at the forest, a hint of concern on his face and her senses went on alert.
“Did you notice anything … unusual out in the woods?”
He turned toward her, knowledge gleaming in his eyes but didn’t speak.
“Tell me.”
Almost reluctantly, he nodded. “Something is watching the circus.”
“Shit.” She wanted the circus to be evil, so she could just kill Clancy and leave. Get away from the mess she was making of her life. Maybe he was wrong. “Did you find a trail or—?”
Electric series- Raven Investigations BoxSet Page 17