“I’m more worried about Raphael. If he finds out Dominic did this to you...we may have another fight on our hands.”
Gabby shook her head. “No. I’m just going to say I fell. And that’s the truth, just not all of it.”
“Why are you going to protect him? After everything he did!”
“He’s a good person inside. It was just the alcohol that night.” Gabby fidgeted with her gloves as she spoke, before Luke’s big hand covered hers.
“It’s fairly obvious you were hit, Gabby. You won’t be able to convince them with lies.”
Gabby looked up at him and saw the expression on his face and forced a smile. “It will all turn out fine. I’m certain of it.”
They rode in silence the rest of the way, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts until they came upon the market. When the driver stopped the carriage, Gabby looked enthusiastically out the window, excited to see what a market in the Capital city would look like. There were carts set up in rows between shops, and boards had been laid down over the mud, but they did little to control the oversaturated soil.
Luke was the first out of the carriage when the driver opened the door, then turned to help Gabby out. But instead of letting her step out onto the ground, he lifted her by the waist and spun around to set her on a wooden board.
She smiled at him as she huddled deeper into the thick jacket Rebecca Ann had given her to wear. “I can only imagine the things we will find here!”
“So far I smell mud and horse dung. Pardon me for not being overly zealous.”
“Sometimes you are just too...too...British. Have a little fun with me today, won’t you?”
“If you wanted to have fun, I can think of far better ways for us to go about it,” he murmured, reaching for her waist again.
She laughed and stepped away from him. “Maybe we can explore those ideas later. But for now, good sir,” she said, looking up at him and trying her best to look dignified, “we are in public. And we must conduct ourselves accordingly.”
He smiled down at her. “You are bewitching when you smile, did you know that?”
“Good. Then my spell is working on you.” She winked at him, then headed for the nearest cart and began to explore the wonders of a new market.
Nearly two hours later they made their way back to the carriage, their arms full of bags and boxes holding special gifts for the family. “You do know we are going to have to find a way to pack all of this tomorrow, right?”
“Maybe I should just ride with you the whole way home and we use our other horse to carry everything,” Gabby proposed, glancing up at him, doing her best to maintain a straight face.
Luke’s eyebrows rose. “If we do that, you may never get home, Vixen.”
Gabby smiled and suddenly felt warm all over. She had seen her cousins in love and had wondered if she would ever experience such a feeling. Now that she had, she didn’t want it to ever stop. She glanced over at Luke as he climbed into the carriage. But Luke had yet to say how he felt towards her, and it caused fingers of doubt to spread anxiety through her.
Her heart clenched painfully and she looked out the window. Out of everything she had been through over the past few weeks, she had never felt more uncertain about her future than she did when she looked into Luke’s eyes. And that frightened her as nothing else could.
Chapter Twenty-One
The journey home was rough. But Luke had expected it to be hard on Gabby, and had planned accordingly. He just hadn’t planned on the continued wet weather. Much to his own surprise, he had decided Gabby’s suggestion that she ride with him was probably the best to keep her as warm as possible. It had also helped to keep them both drier.
Gabby sat in his lap, her arms wrapped around his waist and her face buried against his chest, her large, slick poncho keeping them dry, along with the one that he wore. He wanted her to sleep most of the ride, but he could tell by her fidgeting that she wasn’t resting. He stopped frequently so they could both stretch their cold limbs, but something wasn’t on point with Gabby.
Ever since the previous afternoon she had been avoiding eye contact and had been hesitant with him. When he asked if her jaw was paining her more, she shook her head no and just said she was tired.
That night she had fallen asleep very quickly, so he assumed she was being truthful with him. But as they traveled and her behavior still seemed distant, he became worried. Had she realized that he wasn’t sure if he was the right person for her? Had she realized that he doubted whether she should give her love to him and perhaps should reconsider the offer from Dominic?
He needed her to understand his thoughts behind it if she had somehow gleaned the idea that he was having misgivings. But he hadn’t done anything that he could think of to reveal those thoughts to her.
Along the path home he had found an alcove sheltered by a rock outcrop, preventing them from getting wet from the non-stop drizzle and occasional sleet. He dismounted and reached up for Gabby, holding her in his arms longer than he needed to, until he slowly released her.
“Can you try to find enough dry kindling to start a fire? It appears there are a few large logs up under there. At least to keep us warm most of the night.”
Gabby nodded and began in that direction. But at the last second he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, hugging her in a tight embrace and bringing his lips down on hers hard and urgent, needing to feel her passionate response.
And she didn’t hold back. She slanted her mouth under his and stood on tiptoe, matching his intensity. He groaned his approval and ran his hands up and down her back, eager to feel her passion. He needed this...he needed her.
When he released her they were both breathing heavily, and she flashed him one of her dazzling smiles. He felt his heart race, and he wanted to pull her back again, to get lost in her kisses, her caresses, her love. Her love. Had he ever been loved before?
The thought stunned him and he watched her walk up to the alcove with an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was that why he was considering pushing her away? He had never been loved before—or at least, not since his parents had passed away. Would he know how to reciprocate her love? Would he know how to show her every day that she meant more to him than his very next breath?
By the time he had the horses unloaded and their sleeping area prepared, she had started a nice, smoldering fire that gave them a small amount of heat to warm their feet and hands. She was even able to use one of the pans to cook them a small serving of beans, and to that she added bacon and jerky that Rebecca Ann had provided them with prior to their departure.
Luke had tried to find a way to compensate the President for putting them up and tolerating them for as long as he did, but he wouldn’t accept any compensation, other than Luke promising to attend the annual gala for as long as President Lamar was in office. Luke hadn’t known what to expect when he had headed for the gala several days ago, but had been certain of his future. Now he knew the President of the Republic well enough to call him a friend, and he had no idea where his future was about to lead him.
They ate dinner in a comfortable silence. As soon as Gabby had put up the pot she had washed out with rainwater, she came back to his side and nestled in comfortably as he wrapped his arm tightly around her. They sat in silence for a long time as they watched the rain mixed with a little sleet fall around them, warm and safe under their rock outcrop.
“Gabby...” Luke began hesitantly, unsure of what he was going to say to her, and unsure if he even wanted to say anything to her. He didn’t want to lose her. But he had to know that she had thought of everything before she made any decisions that would change her life forever.
She looked up at him and he temporarily lost his train of thought. God, she was so beautiful, and she was his if he wanted her. And he wanted her so badly he was afraid he would make a decision they would both regret years later.
The clouds parted briefly, though the cold air still blew sharp and cold. The light of a f
ull moon peeked through the clouds and Gabby shivered. “We call it a Comanche Moon,” she said softly, burrowing closer against him. “It used to be that the Comanche seemed to always attack when the moon was full.”
Luke’s arm tightened around her. “Were you ever—did you ever witness an attack?”
Gabby shook her head. “No, but I treated plenty after they’d been hurt by the Comanche. Including Serena.”
“Serena was taken by the Comanche?”
“Yes, but Trevor saved her. He loved her so very much. Love is a powerful thing, don’t you think?”
Luke shifted uncomfortably. “Gabby, have you really thought all of this through? I mean everything, every single aspect.”
“Of what?” Her brow furrowed in confusion.
“Me. Choosing me. Have you really thought it through?”
“I love you, Luke. There can be no other man for me than you. What else should I think about?”
“I’m a new doctor, Gabby. I don’t have much that I can offer you. I can’t even offer you a home right now, other than a small room above the clinic. What kind of home is that?”
“I’m not picking you for a home, Luke. Our home could be right here for all I care. I’m picking you for the man you are. The man I love.”
Luke squeezed his eyes shut. He would never grow tired of hearing her say those words. “But what will we have to offer our children, Gabby? Your parents made that arrangement for you to be able to pass on a heritage to your children, for them to have land of their own someday. What are we going to pass down to our children?”
“What if I’m unable to have children? Or what if I only have girls? It is tradition that land is only handed down to the men of the family. What then? We will have our love to pass down to our children if we are blessed with them. We will have our knowledge to pass down to them. And in my opinion, both of those things are far more valuable than land.”
Luke looked back out at the rain and ran a hand through his damp hair. Was she making the right decision? Her answers sounded perfect, but he wanted to hear those answers from her. He wanted to know that she had thought through the idea of marrying him and was ready for any concern her grandparents might throw her way.
“Why are you asking me all of this?” Gabby asked, then pushed away from him slightly, turning so she could look at him straight on. “What is this? Do you wish I had picked Dominic instead? Do you not want...I mean, was I wrong to think...” Her voice trailed off as her eyes searched his face, waiting for an answer, but he couldn’t find the right words to tell her to respond to her questions. “My God, you don’t love me.”
“No! Gabby, no, that isn’t it at all.”
“Then what is it, Luke? What? Why are you trying to get me to rethink my decision? Why!” Her voice had risen an octave and he could tell she was on the verge of crying.
“Gabby, please, I don’t know how to explain it—”
“You don’t need to. I don’t need any type of excuse. But I’m not going to marry Dominic. That isn’t going to happen. I made my choice. It was either going to be you, Dominic, or nothing. If I can’t have you, I choose nothing.”
She whirled away from him and moved to the bedding, wrapping herself in the blanket tightly and keeping her back to him. “Gabby, don’t do this.”
She didn’t respond to him. Damn it! He’d known he would mess up the conversation. He ran his hand through his now dry hair. What do I do? How do I fix this? How do I tell this woman that I don’t know if I am capable of loving her the way she deserves to be loved? She wouldn’t understand him. Either that, or she would think it was another excuse.
God, I can’t go through life without her. Was that what love felt like? Is that what he needed to tell her? He looked over at Gabby’s back. How do you tell a woman you don’t know what love feels like? How do you tell a woman you aren’t worthy of her? You just tell her.
Luke turned his head back and stared at the flames. Somehow he doubted that would change Gabby’s mind. She was hurt. And he had hurt her. And he was going to have to find a way to fix things, or he would be miserable for the rest of his life.
San Antonio was relatively quiet as they arrived near dusk Christmas Eve. Even riding the rest of the way with him, her back against his chest, Gabby hadn’t spoken a single word. She looked exhausted, and he had no doubt he looked the same. Neither one of them had slept well the night before.
In all fairness, he had said very little to her, either. He didn’t know what to say. Most of the night he had mulled over how to convince her that he was only worried about her future, and the future of her children. But the idea of having children with her had temporarily derailed his speech for forgiveness as he had daydreamed about a life with her, and seeing her hold their child in her arms.
But then they certainly wouldn’t be able to live above the clinic any longer. There were things he was going to need to provide for her, and he didn’t know when or if he would ever have those things. Which took him back to his original fear—was she making the right choice?
They rode up to the house and a delightful plume of smoke rose above it, and he was eager to get inside to the warmth. But when he saw Dominic’s horse in the corral, he wasn’t as eager. He didn’t know what he would say to the man, and still wanted to hurt him for what he did to Gabby.
He helped Gabby down from the horse and looked down at her, searching his mind for the words he wanted to say—words he needed to say to her. But instead she caught him by surprise and stood on tiptoe, pulling his head down to hers and her lips meshed with his, moving gently, caressing his lips.
“Gabby,” he breathed against her lips when she pulled away. He tried to say more, but she turned before he could and headed for the back door of the house.
She looked back at him from the small porch. “Don’t be long. I need you with me. I—I want you with me.”
His heartbeat doubled. Say something, you fool! But she was already through the door. He quickly unsaddled the horses and gathered up their purchases and headed for the house. He was surprised when Trevor met him at the door to help him with the bundles.
“It’s good to see you again, Luke,” he said with sincerity.
Luke nodded. “Same here.”
“Are you going to be able to sort out for us what happened with Gabby?”
“I wasn’t aware there were any questions,” Luke replied, perplexed.
Before Trevor could answer him, Abuelo and Abuela, both working in the kitchen, welcomed him home with warmth. Serena and Angie also greeted him, though they were more hesitant in the way they acted.
Trevor led him into the dining room where the Christmas tree still stood with a few carefully wrapped brown paper packages under it. They added the ones that he and Gabby had bought, and then Luke noticed Dominic and Lorenzo outside, their conversation appearing heated.
Luke nodded towards the window when Trevor had turned to face him. “What’s that all about?”
“Lorenzo is a bit disturbed by the way Gabby looks. We are all a little confused about what went on over the last several days. That’s what I’m hoping you can shed light on.”
“We’re not having any discussions until we eat our dinner. I’ve looked forward to this all year long, and we’re not putting it off no matter what,” Olivia said, entering the room from the hallway, rubbing her large, rounded stomach with Cade right on her heels.
“Trust me, fellows, you don’t want to get between a pregnant lady and food,” he quipped.
Luke looked at Olivia and raised an eyebrow. The babe had dropped lower in her belly. The baby could come any day now. They were all about to experience sleepless nights. All except him, he reminded himself. He was no longer staying in their home.
The table was crowded with nearly all of them huddled over it. Serena and Trevor had volunteered to eat with the children in the other room and were entertaining the rambunctious group, much to the relief of everyone else. The parents finally got some peaceful time
to eat, and all of the adults present were thankful food wasn’t being used as toys at the table.
But Luke had been placed across the table from Dominic, and they exchanged equally heated glares, and either everyone at the table was pretending they didn’t notice, or they truly were oblivious. Luke wondered what they thought about the gradually fading bruise on Gabby’s chin and jaw. Had they realized she had been punched, and viciously?
“So, Gabby, you must tell us about the Capital,” Olivia said, excitement in her voice.
“It was magnificent! The town is large, though not terribly so. San Antonio is far larger. But there is much traffic that goes through there, so the market was magnificent, with things I’ve never seen before. I never went to the Capital Building itself...just to the President’s home. It was stunning. And President Lamar and his daughter were wonderful to both of us.” She glanced over at Luke and he wished he could convey everything he felt for her in that one look. He had to make things right. After dinner.
“So you spent time with President Lamar?” Angie asked. “What is he like?”
“Luke spent more time with him than I did. He was a gentleman, and very gracious. He made Sam look a bit rough around the edges.”
“That’s because Sam is a bit rough around the edges,” said Olivia with a laugh, referring to their previous President, Sam Houston.
“Ah, Sam’s just a bit unrefined. He likes his drink. Who doesn’t?” Cade chuckled, half-heartedly attempting to defend his old friend.
Gabby smiled at them. “Well, I like them both. Oh, and, Luke, did you see the Christmas tree in their home?” At Luke’s nod, she turned back to addressing the whole group. “It was simply breath-taking. The tree was twice the size of the one we have, and it had brightly colored decorations all over it. Some of them appeared to be made of glass. It was extraordinary!”
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