And in between Lanie’s duties, which were pretty much just being the bitch for the day, she’d had to go to Sheriff’s office and give her dad a statement. That had been a different experience for her. She’d done nothing at all wrong, but sitting in her dad’s cramped office with Deputy Sterling standing by as a witness and a voice recorder going while she recited the events of the day in question was…nerve-wracking. Had she actually done anything wrong, she would have confessed within seconds.
And to top it all off, everywhere she went, she was haunted by that feeling of eyes on her. She just couldn’t shake it, even though she knew it was all in her mind. Really, if someone had been watching her, how on earth were they following her all over town? They could not be every single place that she went! Not unless they were following her in their own car, which she’d kept an eye out for by the by, yet had failed to see a specific vehicle in all the places she’d been that day.
It was very annoying and highly creepy, thinking there was someone tailing her, when she knew for a fact there was not! It made her feel ever so slightly schizophrenic. And that was not a good feeling!
And an even worse feeling was that, deep down, she knew she was looking behind her every ten seconds thinking that she might catch a glimpse of a ruggedly handsome man with wheat colored hair and sparkling green eyes! As if he would be following her around town! Really, if he had any sense about him, he’d be long gone by now and if he was still in Fells Pointe, then she doubted he had the time or the desire, or the gas in the tank of his monstrous car, to be following her all over the place!
And furthermore, why in the name of Pete would she want him to be following her around! Not that she wanted him to be following her, because she didn’t! That would make her certifiable! He was a complete stranger! A stranger who dressed like an extra from one of those tween vampire movies that Johnna was so obsessed with and who also happened to be on her father’s suspect list in regards to a murder! So, no! No, she did not want that person following her around!
Lanie huffed out a hard sigh and brought her attention back to the present moment, and in that moment she realized that darkness was falling fast outside her car. It was nearing time for the candle light vigil. Stuffing her purse under the front seat, Lanie exited her car, pocketed her keys, and headed across the gravel lot along with a small cluster of people who’d just climbed from a red mini-van.
Borden Park was quite a vast space, stretching out over an area that amounted to several city blocks. It was a shadowy place that was thick with trees and scattered with small playgrounds and picnic shelters. There was a strictly enforced loitering code, so no one was allowed on the grounds once the sun set, but tonight was an exceptional case and clearance had been given.
Her dad had told her exactly where in the park Stacy had been found so that she could pass the location onto the Spirit Squad and once Lanie entered the park, she pointed herself that way. She knew the area she was heading toward well. It was a playground near the front of the park that had a couple of enormous swing sets and a big play center that was painted bright yellow. It had always been her favorite place to play as a kid.
As Lanie walked through the deepening gloom and farther into the park, she was trying very hard to ignore that haunting feeling of eyes boring into her, which seemed to be intensified thanks to the looming darkness and the trees pushing in all around her. Even the fact that there were people walking just across from her didn’t ease the sensation and she began to glance around, expecting to see someone stepping out from behind one of the large tree trunks as she passed by. She was actually starting to regret giving Johnna the slip so that she could have a couple of hours by herself. If she hadn’t done that, Johnna would be with her right now and maybe she wouldn’t be so feeling so creeped out and on edge.
As she walked along, trying very hard to ignore the sensation that hands were about to shoot out from behind a tree and grab hold of her, she began to realize just how far into the park the play area was, prompting her to wonder just what in the world Stacy had been doing in the park. It was on the opposite side of town from her house and after they’d left the diner, it had been nearly dusk, so she’d have no reason to be over this way. Her father hadn’t said if Stacy had been…killed…in the park or if she’d simply been…left there, but if she hadn’t been…left there…then Stacy being this far away from her house made absolutely no sense.
Moving through the trees and the shadows that were deepening all around her, Lanie began to hear the soft murmur of voices and then became aware of the soft glow of candlelight flickering just up the way. As she and the group walking across from her drew nearer the playground, Lanie was able to see just what the Spirit Squad had been able to accomplish and she found herself impressed.
Right next to the playground there was a bank of candles sitting on the ground, their flames trembling in the light breeze that was whispering through the park. A small table that had been draped in black fabric held more candles and the photographs of Stacy, as well as the highly decorated, glitter festooned poster board signs that were put there so that everyone could write messages for the family. A few yards away from the memorial was the Flower Sale table, where people could purchase a flower to lie on the ground on the spot where Stacy was…found, as well as a black ribbon to tie around their arm. Next to the table that was heaped with colorful carnations was the table holding all the taper candles and drip cups that were going to be used for the vigil ceremony.
It was a beautiful, albeit eerie, sight that greeted Lanie as she approached and she was rather glad that she hadn’t had anything to do with setting up the memorial. Just looking at it twisted her insides into a painful knot.
Coming to a brief halt, Lanie scanned the sizeable crowd of people already gathered there, searching for the familiar faces of her friends. She quickly spotted them over by the Flower Sale table and then veered off in that direction, coming up beside Devyn, who was huddled together with Finn and Brady.
“Hey, guys,” she said to them, keeping her voice low. “Everything looks really pretty.”
Devyn turned to Lanie with a smile. “It does. Do you think Stacy would have liked it?”
Lanie glanced at all the flicker candles in glass jars, at the big pile of colorful flowers on the ground, at the table with the glittering signs that were sparkling and preening in the low light. “Yeah. I think she’d like it.”
It was sort of a lie, but a lie was permitted if it spared someone’s feelings. Stacy probably would not have liked the memorial, but it was really for the people that Stacy had left behind, to give them closure. Stacy would have liked that part.
“How are you holding up?” Finn asked her, putting his large arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze.
“I’m good,” she answered. Again. “What were you guys up to today?” She wanted to shift the conversation away from herself and her attention away from the illuminated picture of her friend.
“Oh, we went by to ask Mr. Miller if he’d let us run his feed store while he’s…uh, busy,” Brady answered.
“What did he say?” she asked, thinking that she could help out with that endeavor. She could sell birdseed and fertilizer as well as the boys, no doubt.
“He gave us the keys to the store. We’re going to open it up tomorrow at eight,” Finn answered. “We’ve already got a schedule worked out with the team, so we each only have to work there a couple of hours a day.”
“I can help out,” Lanie offered.
“Nah. We’ve got it covered,” Finn said, giving her another squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything.”
Grrr! She wanted to help out! And she wanted everyone to stop acting like she was on the verge of breakdown! Whether they believed it or not, she was fine!
“So, what exactly is supposed to happen here tonight?” Brady wondered, taking a turn giving Lanie a hug.
Lanie hugged him back, ignoring the way his cologne choked her. Brady Cooper could give a hug like n
o one else. He wasn’t into that perfunctory guy hug that most men doled out, that quick, one armed squeeze that lasted all of two seconds. No. When Brady Cooper hugged someone, they knew they had been hugged! Lanie actually decided to hang on a few seconds longer than she probably should have simply because that hug felt so nice.
“Well, everyone lights their candles and then we have Pastor Hawes leading a moment of silence and saying a prayer for Stacy. After that, we’ll just play it by ear,” Johnna answered Brady’s question.
“Should we all put a flower down for Stacy?” Finn asked, reaching for his wallet.
“I think we should,” Johnna stated quietly.
“I don’t want to,” Devyn said, shaking her head at them. “I’ll get all ver clempt.”
Finn sighed hard. “You aren’t Jewish, Devyn. You’re Baptist.”
“Come on. We’re doing this, so just un-clempt yourself, whatever that means,” Brady said, taking Devyn by the arm and pulling her over to the Flower Sale table.
Everyone purchased a carnation and a ribbon and then walked over to the mound of flowers lying next to the swing set. This was the spot where Stacy had been found. Right next to the big swing set she used to play on when she was little. Lanie suddenly remembered the time at Marcy Beckman’s birthday party when Stacy had fallen out of her swing, the third one down, and broken her collar bone. She hadn’t wanted to leave the playground to go to the hospital because she was having too much fun.
Lanie stood by that mound of flowers for a few seconds, feeling her chest squeeze tight. This was the last place Stacy had been. This was the last place Stacy would ever be. As Lanie dropped her carnation onto the pile, she wondered if Stacy had been scared, lying there all alone in the darkness, injured and bleeding. She wondered if Stacy had been waiting for someone to come and help her.
Lanie spun around and walked away from the pile of carnations, finding it hard to swallow past the painful lump in her throat. She followed behind Devyn and Johnna as they made their way back to the Flower Sale table, but Finn suddenly took hold of her arm and pulled her to a stop.
“We heard you had a run in with that bum from The Pub,” he said to her, the flickering light intensifying his solemn expression. “I don’t think you should be doing much around town, Lanie. It might be smart just to lay low for a while. I mean, you don’t know what that guy might be thinking.”
“I’ve already heard all this from my dad,” Lanie said, feeling defensive. “He’s got Johnna and Devyn staying with me and I’m pretty much locked down after sunset.”
“Well, that’s good,” Brady said, relieved. “But, you’d better listen to Sheriff Bancroft, Lanie.”
“Why did you say it like that?” Lanie shot at Brady, feeling terribly defensive now. “Why wouldn’t I listen to him?”
Finn and Brady both gave one another a meaningful look. “Lanie, you’re the most mule headed person I’ve ever met. You don’t listen to anyone!” Finn pointed out.
“But, you need to listen this time. This is no joke. A girl is…dead. No one wants the same thing to happen to you,” Brady stated, sounding horribly adult.
Lanie looked from Finn to Brady and back again, wanting to point out that she highly doubted her life was in any sort of danger, but she knew it was useless. “I will listen to my dad. I promise,” she avowed, though it was more than clear they did not believe her.
“Speaking of, your dad just got here,” Devyn spoke up, pointing past them.
Lanie glanced around to see Sheriff Bancroft and Deputy Sterling coming through the crowd, which was growing by the minute. Lanie moved past her friends and toward her dad, who had stopped to speak to a cluster of people, thinking that Patti had done a very good job of getting the word out to everyone.
“Hey, squirt,” her dad greeted her as she approached him. “It looks good. You girls did a good job.”
“The Spirit Squad did most of it,” she shrugged as Sam put his hand on her back and led her back through the crowd, toward the Flower Sale table.
“Well, I’m sure the family will appreciate this,” Sam told her.
They stopped to pick up their white candles and drip cups and Sam bought a few flowers from Mindy Johnson, who was running the Flower Sale. He handed them to Lanie, who took them over to the pile on the ground next to the swing set and laid them down, this time trying not to think about what had happened to Stacy there.
“You okay, squirt?” her dad’s voice sounded in her ear.
Lanie looked away from the pile of colorful flowers and into her dad’s handsome face, nodding because she didn’t trust her voice enough to answer.
“Are you sure?” he urged, his brows pulled together.
She nodded again, turning her attention to fiddling with trying to get her candle into her drip cup.
“Is it alright if I speak with a few people, or would you rather I stay with you?” Sam asked her gently.
“I’ll be fine with Johnna with Devyn,” she told her dad, not wanting to keep him from doing what he needed to do.
“Okay. And if I don’t catch up with you before you leave, you go straight home and I’ll see you there,” Sam told her firmly.
Again, Lanie nodded and turned to head back to Johnna and Devyn. The two girls were standing around discussing who did what that day with the Spirit Squad, while Lanie hovered in the background, thinking that she’d actually been the one to do a lot of the things the cheerleaders were giving themselves credit for. Finn and Brady had gone to stand by the football team, who had created a large wall next to the Flower Sale table.
Suddenly, Lanie realized that everyone was beginning to light their taper candles from one another and Lanie allowed the woman next to her to light hers, and then she in turn lit Johnna’s, who passed the flame on to Devyn.
As the wave of light slowly rolled over the crowd, Pastor Hawes appeared at the table holding the pictures of Stacy and everyone fell silent, waiting for the large, grey haired man to speak. The pastor cleared his throat and began leading a prayer for Stacy Miller, his deep voice filling up the night, blotting out the sound of the wind in the tree tops and the song of the crickets that were left over from summer. And then, he began to recite a verse from the bible in his hands and several people standing next to Lanie began to sob quietly. And then several more people began to sob. It wasn’t long before Lanie looked around to find nearly every person in the crowd weeping bitterly. Even Heather Langley and the other Spirit Squaders were holding onto one another while they sobbed, the flickering light showing up the tears staining their cheeks.
And seeing those tears caused an unexpected surge of anger to swell up inside Lanie, heating her cheeks and choking her throat.
Looking around, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. There was hardly a person who wasn’t weeping over the loss of Stacy Miller. And a lot of the people had absolutely no right to be sobbing over her loss!
Stacy Miller had been alive only hours before and most of the people who were now weeping hadn’t cared a thing about her. She’d gone to school for her entire life with these people and not only had they not cared about her, but they had done their best to shut her out, to make her feel less than just because she wasn’t as well off, just because she was prettier than they thought someone like her should have been. And now, hours after she’d been killed, everyone who’d ignored her or made her miserable was suddenly weeping as if she’d been their best friend.
Hypocrites!
All these people were hypocrites!
They had never even bothered to get to know Stacy. If they had, they would all know that this sort of thing was not really what she would have wanted for herself! She’d said a dozen times that when she died, she just wanted to be quietly lowered into the ground and then forgotten about. She’d always said she didn’t want a bunch of people who hated her blubbering over her corpse and pretending to be sad that she was gone!
All these people were hypocrites!
With her anger suddenly ov
erwhelming her, Lanie spun on her heel and began pushing through the people surrounding her. She needed to get away from the weeping people holding their candles to honor a girl they hated and from the Pastor who was praying for a girl he didn’t even know! She had to get away from the lot of them before she exploded and made a fool of herself by disrupting a memorial service!
Once she had shoved her way out of the crowd, Lanie blew out her candle and tossed it into the garbage can next to the Flower Sale table on the way by, wanting to give a very unlady like hand gesture to the two cheerleaders standing there, weeping quietly on each other’s shoulders.
Hypocrites!
All these people were hypocrites!
Lanie stormed by the girls and out into the darkness, her chest squeezing tight and her throat going closed. She wanted nothing to do with the people who were pretending to mourn Stacy when they really hated her guts! She’d wanted to have the memorial to help out the Millers, or maybe just to feel like she was doing something productive, something that was helping Stacy somehow, but this was wrong! It wasn’t what Stacy would have wanted! And tomorrow, once everyone had gone, she was coming back to take down all the signs and candles and she was tossing them in the garbage!
Stomping away from the crowd, Lanie found that she was too angry to even cry, which was what she really wanted to do at that moment. Not because she was sad, but because she was…she was…outraged! She was furious that a good person had been taken away from her life and her family and while she was alive half the people who were…howling at her memorial service hadn’t bothered to get to know her, so they had no idea what a loss it was that Stacy Miller was no longer in Fells Pointe!
Needing to put some space between herself and all the empty, shallow people pretending to care about a girl they really despised, Lanie walked on through the darkness and the maze of trees, needing the movement and the feel of her feet hitting the earth. It helped to drive some of the rage out of her. And with that rage spurring her forward, Lanie walked on and on, walking until the sound of Pastor Hawe’s deep, melancholy voice was no longer audible and the flickering glow of candle light could no longer be seen. She walked until she could no longer hear the sound of the soft sobs arising from the crowd, until she could no longer envision herself grabbing up all the signs covered in glitter and hollow condolences and tearing them to shreds with her bare hands.
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