Eve looks to Carter for approval and he nods.
So we turn SingStar back on and they settle on One Direction’s ‘What Makes You Beautiful’, which is, not surprisingly, one of Eve’s favourites. We all join in – even Carter. The living room is filled with music and laughter and if there’s such a thing as Christmas spirit, then, surely, this must be it.
If you’d asked me what was the last thing on earth I’d expect to be doing on Christmas Day, it would be this.
Chapter Eighty-Six
‘Come on, young man.’ Mum tugs at Carter’s hand. ‘Let’s do a duet.’
He looks more than horrified but, gamely, he gets up with her. They sing ‘Islands in the Stream’ – Carter mumbling through the lyrics while my mother, flirting for England and wobbling on her teetering heels, trills up and down the scales. Soon we’re all in hysterics. The boys sing together again and then Jim and I take the microphone. Avoiding anything too emotive, or anything with the word ‘love’ in the title, we crank up the volume on ‘Eye of the Tiger’.
Carter and the children sing Jessie J’s ‘Price Tag’ and my heart swells to see them. The lyrics may be a bit too close to home but I know that a few months ago that he wouldn’t even have contemplated doing this. Whatever problems he might have with Tamara, I know that he is trying to be a better father to the kids now and that can only be a good thing.
I help Gaby to make more tea while everyone sits down for a break. The children play with the mountain of toys while Carter talks to Andrew and Kieran. Let’s hope that he’s imbibing them with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit for the future.
‘Are you OK with this?’ Gaby whispers to me while she clatters about with cups.
‘I think so.’
‘What about Jim?’
‘He was the one who asked them to come in.’
No doubt we’ll talk about it later. But, like Jim, no matter what has or hasn’t happened, I simply couldn’t have faced turning Carter and the children away.
‘Weird,’ Gaby says. ‘It’s a damn good job that Mum doesn’t know what’s been going on.’
‘You haven’t told her?’
‘No,’ Gaby says. ‘I’ve hardly seen her over the last few weeks. The less she knows about that the better.’ Then she lays her hand on my arm. ‘It is all over with him, isn’t it?’
I nod. ‘Absolutely.’
‘I just wanted to be sure.’
We take the tea back through. Jim has joined Carter and the boys while it’s Ryan’s turn to take a pounding at Operation with the children. The time flies by and soon the evening is drawing in.
‘We should go,’ Carter says. ‘I’ve called on your hospitality for too long now.’
‘It’s been a pleasure having you,’ Gaby says and there’s a surprising warmth in her voice. ‘Eve and Max are welcome here to play any time.’
Hopefully, she’s now seen why I’ve become so attached to them. They’re great kids.
‘Thank you. I’m sure they’d like that,’ he says. Then he looks uncomfortable again. ‘Could I have a word with you, Cassie?’
Glancing anxiously at Jim, I follow him out into the hall. Eve and Max fuss with putting on their shoes and coats.
‘You’ve all been very kind,’ he says. ‘The children have had a wonderful time.’
‘And you?’
‘Me too,’ he admits. ‘Christmas would have been very quiet otherwise.’
‘It was slightly strange having you here.’ I lower my voice so that Max and Eve can’t hear. ‘But I’ve enjoyed it as well. I was worried about the children.’
‘Tamara and I have had our first row already,’ he whispers back. ‘I don’t know how long we’ll be able to play happy families together. The truth is that I don’t love her any more.’ He looks totally defeated. ‘The children might be better off if we’re apart.’
‘I hope it works out.’
Carter shrugs. ‘Only time will tell.’ He blips his key fob so that the car doors open. ‘Go and wait in the car, guys. Say goodbye to Cassie.’
I bend down so that they can both kiss me. ‘Merry Christmas,’ I murmur to them both as I hug them tightly. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
I hope that’s true and that, at least in some small way, I can still stay in their lives.
When they’re gone, Carter pulls an envelope out of his jacket pocket. ‘This is a cheque in payment for your business services.’
‘I haven’t even sent a final invoice yet.’
‘I hope this will more than cover what you’ve billed me for.’ He presses it into my palm and still my fingers tingle at his touch. I wonder if this feeling will ever entirely go away. ‘You’ve got a real winner with Calling Mrs Christmas!, Cassie. Don’t let it go.’
‘I won’t.’ I have plans for my business. I’m just not sure what they are yet.
‘There’s another cheque in there too,’ he says. ‘I wanted to do something for those two boys.’ He nods back towards the living room. ‘I hope you’re going to bring them up to the house when you dismantle everything after Christmas.’
To be honest, I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. I’m sure I will though, as they’ll both be keen to go up there too.
‘There’s enough money for you to help them out in whatever way you see fit. You can use it to keep them employed or for their accommodation costs. It’s entirely up to you.’
‘I can’t accept this.’
‘I hope you will,’ Carter says.
Jim comes out into the hall. Perhaps he thinks that Carter and I have been alone for too long and I realise that it might be some time before I get his trust back. ‘Carter wants to give me money to help the boys.’
‘That’s very generous,’ Jim says, ‘but we don’t need your assistance.’
‘I think you do,’ Carter insists. ‘I know how much you’ve done for them both already. They’ve just been filling me in on the details. This would make it so much easier. Money is something I’m not short of. I can help.’
Jim still looks uncertain.
‘I’d like to set up a foundation or something too,’ Carter continues. ‘An organisation that will help disadvantaged kids to get into work. I’d like you to be involved. Both of you.’
Jim and I exchange a glance.
‘It’s something we’d have to talk about,’ Jim says, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I’d need to know more, but I wouldn’t rule it out entirely.’
Carter looks relieved. ‘I’m really sorry about what went on, Jim. I hope we can put that behind us.’
I’m not sure that these men will ever be the best of friends, but they seem to have reached an uneasy truce. That’s more than I could really hope for.
‘I’d better get going. Tamara will be awake soon and wondering where we are.’ He slips on his jacket. ‘I’ll say goodbye.’
He shakes Jim’s hand and kisses me in a brief and businesslike manner on the cheek.
‘I’ll walk you to your car,’ Jim says.
‘Goodbye, Carter. I’m glad you dropped by.’
‘Me too,’ he says.
Carter might have everything that money can buy, but I can quite truthfully say that I’ve never seen a man look so terribly lonely.
Chapter Eighty-Seven
Jim followed Carter to his car door.
‘Thank you again,’ Carter said. ‘I realise that this can’t have been easy for you, but I very much appreciate you inviting me to join your Christmas. You have a fantastic family.’
‘You have great kids,’ Jim said. ‘It was for their sake. And for Cassie’s. I know that this has been hard for her.’
‘Yes.’
‘I love her,’ Jim said evenly. ‘I always will. If you ever make a move on her again, I’ll rip your bloody head off.’
‘And if you ever let her down,’ Carter countered, ‘I’ll be right there to pick up the pieces.’
They grinned at each other and Jim held out his hand. ‘A gentleman’s agreement.’ They shook on it.
‘Merry Christmas, Carter.’
‘Merry Christmas, Jim.’
Carter got into his car. Jim stood and watched him drive away, disappearing into the snowy landscape, before he turned and went back into the house.
He went back to his family, to the lads and to someone who loved him enough to walk away from all that Carter could offer. Jim considered himself to be a very lucky man this Christmas.
Chapter Eighty-Eight
We spend the rest of the evening in a turkey coma and watch seasonal rubbish on the television. I snooze with my head on Jim’s shoulder. Then we force down more food and soon it’s time to go home.
Mrs Ledbury’s eyes are heavy and even my perennially youthful mother is flagging. I yawn as I nudge Jim. ‘I think it’s time to hit the road.’
‘I’ll take your mum and Mrs Ledbury first and come back for you and the lads,’ Jim says. ‘Come on, posse. Let’s load up.’
So Mum and Mrs Ledbury get their coats and handbags and presents. Gaby makes up little parcels of turkey in tinfoil for them to take home for Boxing Day.
‘Take them in and make sure their lights and heating are on, Jim.’
‘Of course,’ he says.
‘It’s been lovely,’ Mrs Ledbury says. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘I’ll phone you,’ Mum says. For once, I believe that she will.
My sister and I kiss them both, then stand in the cold on the doorstep and wave as they leave.
‘You haven’t forgotten that we’re doing all this again tomorrow?’ she says to me as she closes the door.
‘No.’ I yawn. It really has been an exhausting few days, both physically and emotionally. Tonight, I really need my bed. ‘I’m looking forward to it already.’
‘Don’t bring anything,’ Gaby instructs. ‘There’s still mountains of food.’
‘Why don’t we take the children to Ivinghoe Beacon with their sledges? They’d like that.’
I know that Max and Eve would love to come with us too, but I have to stop thinking like that. It would bring me into too much contact with Carter and I have to make sure that doesn’t happen.
‘Great idea. I’ll call you in the morning.’ Gaby joins in the Mexican-wave-like yawn I started. ‘Not too early. I need a lie-in. Christmas is hard work, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. You’ve done a marvellous job.’
‘I think everyone enjoyed it.’ She raises an eyebrow at me.
‘I think so too.’
‘We will have that talk, Cassie,’ she says to me and I smile as I remember that my sister misses nothing.
Soon Jim is back from his first taxi run, so the boys and I put on our shoes and coats. I hug Gaby tightly. ‘Did anyone ever tell you that you’re the best sister anyone could ever have?’
‘You,’ she says. ‘Frequently.’
‘Well, you are. And you’re the best brother-in-law,’ I say to Ryan as I hug him too.
The boys express their thanks and there are more hugs all round. It seems as if our family has claimed two extra members today and I’m so pleased for them. Then we all bundle into the car and wave furiously as we drive away.
A few minutes later we pull up outside the boys’ flat at the Halfway House.
‘We’ll see you tomorrow, lads,’ Jim said. ‘Do you want to come sledging?’
‘Yeah!’ they’re both quick to answer.
‘I’ll send you a wake-up text.’
‘Thanks for a great day,’ Andrew says.
‘This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,’ Kieran adds. ‘In fact, it’s the only Christmas I’ve ever had.’
‘Go on, you two,’ I say. ‘You’ll make me cry.’ I kiss them both goodbye.
In their thin shirts they hunch up against the cold. We watch them go into the flat before we pull away. ‘We must get them thick coats,’ I say to Jim. ‘They can borrow some for tomorrow, but I’ll need to take them to the sales.’
‘We can use Carter’s money if you want to.’
That surprises me. ‘You’re happy with that?’
‘I guess so. If we can use it to help the lads, then I shouldn’t be too proud to accept it.’
I lean over and kiss his cheek. ‘Did I ever tell you that you’re the best bloke in the world?’
He grins at me. ‘Yes. But don’t ever stop telling me.’
‘I won’t. I promise.’
We see the light go on in the boys’ flat and take that as our cue to pull away.
It’s snowing again now, fat splashes against the windscreen. Jim has to drop his speed and we crawl along, so it takes us a lot longer to get home than it normally would. When we turn into the car park outside the flat, the surface is all slithery. I’m weary when we finally climb the stairs. The little tree up here shines out brightly, lighting up the landing, and it feels good to be home.
‘It’s been a very long day.’ Tired out, I stretch. ‘But it’s been fabulous.’
‘One more cup of tea before we go to bed?’
I nod and, as soon as we’re inside, Jim goes to put the kettle on.
I’m sitting on our wide windowsill in the living room with the curtains open when he comes through with our tea. This is one of my favourite spots in the flat, but it’s been piled up with boxes for the last few weeks and I haven’t been able to get to it. Now it’s free of clutter once more. For the time being. The room is in darkness apart from the twinkling of the Christmas lights on our monster tree.
The snow is thickening quickly. Even though our car hasn’t been parked out there for very long, it’s already got a generous covering. Snow blankets the cars, the trees and the houses, bringing a gentle hush with it. Tomorrow will be a perfect day for sledging, providing, of course, that the roads are clear enough to get up to the beacon. It will be great to meet up with Gaby, Ryan, the children and the boys and have some fun. But, for now, it’s just me and Jim.
I press my cheek against the cold glass. Jim sits next to me and I snuggle into his chest, his strong, unwavering warmth, and he wraps his arms around me. And I know that this is exactly where I belong. We sit and look out of our window, gazing out over the winter wonderland in our own little corner of the town, watching the falling snow, enjoying the silence. I turn and my lips find his.
If anyone should try to call Mrs Christmas now, I’m afraid that they’ll find her otherwise engaged.
Acknowledgements
Thank you so much to Jean for all the help with the information on young offenders and their care. Very much appreciated. Also to all our lovely companions who shared our trip to Lapland and made it so much fun. Thank you to Lovely Kev for not minding going to bed with a woman wearing more clothes than she went out in and for getting me off a snowmobile when my knees had frozen solid. But then it was minus thirty-five degrees.
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