She shook her head and wiped her tears on the back of her hand. She would never see her family again, she would always have to be someone else, the idea of it, the very thought of it mortified her. “Nothing, I…” She sniffed and attempted to smile. “I’m sorry…”
Rami tilted her chin up so that he could see her eyes. She looked at him, at the man she loved and for a moment she remembered something Phillip had said to her once, something about losing the only thing that mattered and she remembered what she had told him. “I would do anything to keep it,” she had said. How odd, that it had turned out to be a prophecy for both of them.
Rami kissed her, gently, on the mouth. “Are you sure it is nothing?”
“Yes, I am.”
He stared at her for a moment longer then leaned forward and placed a pillow behind her so that she could lie back comfortably. He reached across her and switched off the lamp.
“Try to sleep a little,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. “Get some rest.” And, closing her eyes, Jane lay in the warmth and comfort of his embrace and felt her body slowly begin to relax and the kick of tiny limbs inside her.
Outside, Bodi sat on the verandah in the dark and looked out at the valley. He was too tense to sleep, he needed time to wind down. Khansama was making him something to eat and he held a bowl of fragrant hot tea in his hands, warming them, watching the steam rise up into the cold night air. He listened to the silence, a peculiar silence that belonged to the mountains, a clear, still hush, and he drank the scalding liquid, thankful of the warmth in his belly.
He heard a sound.
At first he leaned forward, not sure if it was a sound or just his imagination. The night was so intense it could easily have been in his mind. Then he heard it again. He stood up.
Jane’s house was built on a ledge of rock on the hillside and the verandah looked right out across the valley. Walking to the edge of it, Bodi stretched forward, turning his head to the right, standing perfectly still, holding his breath. It came again. He had heard right! It was miles off, some distance along the valley but it was without doubt the roar of an engine. It was faint, hardly a noise really but it was definitely a car. Hurrying inside, Bodi called to the bearer.
“Is anyone expected down in Ghanerao tonight?”
The bearer shook his head. He knew the comings and goings of the town, he knew everything about the small community; that was one of the chief reasons he had been recommended to Bodi. “There is nothing at this time of night, sahib,” he said. “The first delivery comes along the pass road at seven o’clock.”
Bodi thought for a moment. “How long is it from the town up here on the road?”
The bearer shrugged. “I don’t know, sahib, two hours maybe, maybe three.”
“On foot? Cross-country?”
The servant smiled, “My boy can run down in thirty minutes, sahib. He is very fast.”
Bodi crossed to the window and looked out for a few minutes, then he turned. “Wake the boy,” he instructed, “then wake the other servants. We must start to pack. I will wake memsahib.”
He moved off toward Jane’s bedroom. “And tell khansama to pack some food for us, and some hot drinks.” The bearer nodded, disappearing along to the servants’ quarters. “God knows we’re going to need it,” Bodi murmured under his breath and went to wake Jane and Rami.
Jane sat, wrapped in a blanket on the verandah. She was dressed and wide awake with Rami by her side while Bodi stood apart from them, his eyes trained on the horizon, waiting for the signal. He didn’t know what to expect, he didn’t know how they possibly could have been followed but he wasn’t taking any risks. From the hillside across the valley the boy could see along the pass road for miles, he could see the lights of a car at a distance of thirty to forty kilometers and he had instructions to flash his torch three times if the signal was danger. Bodi gripped the painted wooden rail that ran around the verandah and waited. Behind him Jane and Ramesh were ready; they were prepared for the worst.
Minutes later, he turned. He looked at Jane’s face, pale in the dim lantern light, her body stiff with fright, and nodded. “We must go,” he said. “We have been followed.” And he led the way through the house, still in darkness, to the waiting Land Rover, helped Jane up into the small space left in the back and settled her with blankets and pillows. They were traveling cross-country, it would be rough, and she would be uncomfortable at best, in pain at the worst. He took the passenger seat, opening out his map and waiting for Rami to climb up. He glanced behind him.
“Try not to worry, Jane dear,” he said. She nodded blankly but he couldn’t offer her any other words of reassurance, he didn’t have any to give.
They had been driving for two hours before they heard her. The steep, rugged landscape was impossible to navigate, Rami was driving at speed and the Land Rover had hit countless crevices and ridges, taking it in the suspension but knocking a hell of an impact into the vehicle. Jane gripped the roll cage, her teeth gritted against the pain, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. She had stifled her cries, biting on the inside of her mouth, the desperate pain starting in the round of her stomach and searing deep down into her pubis, but it was coming now in huge waves, washing over her, drowning her. She let out a scream and bent double, clenching her fists.
Bodi swung around. “Oh my God!” He leaned toward Jane and grabbed her hand, unclenching the fist. “Jane, Jane hold on, try to breathe deeply! Take my hand, that’s it.” He leaned the upper half of his body right over the seat. “That’s it, good! Now squeeze it when you feel the contraction… Good!… Harder, breathe! Good girl… well done… breathe, try to relax as it eases off.” He glanced sidelong at Rami. “We have to stop,” he hissed, “I have to examine her, it might be close.”
Rami nodded, and heading for a clump of trees on a flatter piece of land, he slowed the Land Rover and stopped. He switched off the engine and headlights and reached under the seat for the torch to hand across, but Bodi was already out and opening the back door.
“Jane, are you able to lie back against the bags?”
Jane nodded. She shifted position as another pain washed over her and cried out. Bodi calmed her, holding her hand, talking her through it. A minute later, when it had passed, he bent to lift her legs on to the seat and felt the hem of her dress, the whole back of it saturated with blood. He didn’t bother to examine her. She was crying now, whimpering with pain, frightened out of her wits, and Rami knelt on the front seat, leaning over, stroking her forehead, his own face ashen with the shock. Bodi reached for another blanket from the back and tucked it over her. There was nothing he could do at the moment. He hurried around the front of the jeep as Jane screamed with another contraction.
“For God’s sake, Bodi,” Rami shouted suddenly, “do something!” He tried to quiet Jane, looking up at Bodi as he held her hand, murmuring to her. Bodi placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder, knowing his fear, his panic. “I will do everything that I can,” he said. “We must stay calm and we must find a place where it is possible to deliver the baby.” Jane was bleeding heavily, they didn’t have much time.
Bodi took out his map and scanned it for no more than a few seconds, then he said, “Get in the back with her, Rami, I want you to put a pillow under her hips to raise her up slightly and I want you to comfort her.”
Rami nodded. Gently he eased Jane’s legs and slid a pillow beneath her bottom. “Where are we going?” he asked, looking up at Bodi. Bodi shrugged. “We are going to a hospital marked on the map,” he answered. He knew it, knew the English doctor who worked there. The relief flooded Rami’s face and he said no more. There was no reason to frighten the boy, he would worry if he knew the truth, he might even panic and they were already in too much danger to take that risk.
The colony was hidden away, halfway up the hillside, a small camp of typical hill-people’s bamboo huts, thatched roofs and mud floors. It was pitch-black and silent, a sleeping community, but as the Land Rover made it u
p the half-finished road and the noise of the engine shattered the still night silence, people woke, torches were lit and they straggled out into the open to see what the commotion was. Bodi turned off the full beam and dipped the headlights but it was still obvious. Rami sat and stared out in shocked silence.
Bodi drew to a halt and opened the door. He climbed out and called to a figure holding a torchlight.
“Dr. Hayes? Is he here?”
The figure limped forward, his cut-away shoes showing the sores on his deformed feet. “He is in bed, at his bungalow.”
Bodi moved toward the man. “Can you take us there?”
The man nodded. His right arm was badly disfigured and his hand hung limply by his side. He called over to someone to take his torch for him so he could get in the jeep. Rami jumped out.
“Bodi! Are you mad?” He lunged forward and knocked Bodi’s hand away as he went to touch the leper. “For God’s sake, Bodi! What are you doing?”
Bodi swung around. “I am doing what I have to!” he snapped. “We need a doctor, we need help!”
“But the infection?” Rami’s voice was tight with panic.
“I am a doctor, Ramesh!” Bodi hissed. “I would not put you at risk!” Rami hung his head. “Go to Jane,” Bodi instructed. “You must get her out, the hospital is not far, as I remember it, you must help her there while I get Dr. Hayes.”
Rami hesitated for a moment. “Is it safe here?”
“It is the safest place we will find, Rami,” Bodi answered. “Not many venture to this colony.”
Rami nodded and, flinching as he heard Jane cry out, he ran back to the jeep and began to help her down on to the ground.
The small village was buzzing as Jane climbed down from the Land Rover. A crowd had formed in the center of the huts, faces mutilated by leprosy stared at the pregnant woman as she leaned heavily on the man with her and moaned with the pain. A woman stepped forward.
“It is this way,” she called, “I will light the ground for you.”
Rami winced at the sores on her hand as she held up the torch for him. He nodded. “Thank you,” he called back, “thank you.”
A short time later, Jane lay on the bed, her face wet with sweat. Her vision was blurred, she could see Rami but he kept fading, his face losing clarity as the pain washed over her. She gritted her teeth, and gasped for air. She had hardly the energy to breathe.
“All right, Jane, here it comes… now push, Jane! Push!”
She bore down on the pain in her womb, clenching her jaw, gripping Rami’s hand so tight that her nails left tiny bruises on his skin. She screamed. Nothing happened.
Dr. Hayes leaned over her, his face close to hers. “One more time, Jane, I want you to do it one more time. We’re nearly there, I want you to push really hard when I count three. All right?”
Jane’s eyes closed, she was so tired, her eyelids were so heavy. She fought to keep them open, to see Rami’s face. There was a tiny break in the pain and she was so tired.
“Jane? Can you hear me?”
She forced them open. “Yes,” she murmured.
“Good!” Dr. Hayes glanced over his shoulder at Bodi. She was bleeding so heavily now that Bodi couldn’t swab quick enough. He’d have to do a section if she couldn’t get the baby out in the next few minutes. He broke out into a fresh sweat. She wouldn’t last it, not with this blood loss and no transfusion. Bodi caught his eye. He took a fresh swab and moved forward, wiping the perspiration out of Hayes’ eyes.
“All right, Jane, here we go…” He could see another contraction building up, her face creased with pain. “Ready, Jane… One, two, three…” Rami gripped Jane’s hand. “Push, Jane… Come on… Push. Hard… That’s it… Come on, bear down, come on… Push!” He glanced briefly back at Bodi. “I’ve got the head!” he cried. “I’ve got it!”
Jane began to weep; she was so weak, the life draining out of her as she hemorrhaged.
“I’ve got the baby, Jane! Come on, not long now! I want you to push again! Ready, Jane!” Dr. Hayes was shouting at her, aware that she was losing consciousness. “Come on, Jane, one last push! Come on… Push!” He shouted over his shoulder. “Forceps!” Bodi stepped forward but he had his hands on the shoulders. “Here it comes…” He pulled the slippery body out, his hands covered in thick white vernix, his gown soaked with blood. “I’ve got her!” He slapped the baby hard on the back and a piercing howl hit the room. “Your daughter! A little girl, Jane!”
Cutting and clamping the cord, he then reached for a sheet and wrapped the baby up, handing her quickly across to Rami. He glanced at his watch. “Five-fifteen A.M.,” he said, then he looked at Bodi. Bodi shook his head. Jane had lost too much blood; she continued to bleed.
Rami took the baby and held her close to Jane. “Look, Jane,” he whispered, “a little girl, Jane, our baby.” He reached forward and stroked her brow. It was cool, the skin felt dry, papery. Jane didn’t open her eyes. “Janey?” He leaned in to her, cradling the baby to his chest. “Look, Jane, please look…” He lifted her eyelid but the eye was blank. “Jane?” He glanced up at Bodi, then back at Jane. “Janey?” he cried. He shook her. “Jane…!” Suddenly he pulled back. “Bodi! Bodi, do something! Oh God!” He stared at her, all the time holding the baby close to his breast. He looked around. “Bodi!” he shouted. “Bodi? Please?”
Bodi stepped forward and went to take the baby, to try to offer comfort but Rami jerked away. He stood motionless staring at the doctor, staring at Bodi, staring at the blood. Then he turned away. “Leave us alone,” he said. “Please.”
Bodi touched his arm. “Rami, don’t do this, you can’t do anything, you…”
Rami shook his head. “Please, Bodi,” he whispered. “Please…”
Bodi stepped back. He glanced briefly at Dr. Hayes and together they left the room.
Moving back to the bed, Rami bent and gently kissed Jane’s cheek. He could see the pulse in her neck and placed his finger on the vein, feeling the last of her life. Then carefully holding his daughter, he climbed on to the bed and laid down next to Jane, the baby between them. He put his arms around her and lay her head on his shoulder. As the last of the night gave way to the dawn, he held Jane as their baby lay sleeping on her breast, stroked her hair and comforted her. By daybreak she was dead.
Bodi sat by the fire outside, warming himself. The dawn had broken but the light was still dim, the air was cold, the ground hard with frost. He looked around at a movement behind him and saw Rami, the baby wrapped in a blanket in his arms. He waited.
“Bodi?” Rami came across to the fire. He squatted down in front of the man he trusted like a father. “Bodi, I want you to take the baby out of India,” he said. “I want you to take her to safety.”
Bodi placed both his arms on Rami’s shoulders. “You are her father, Rami,” he answered. “You must—”
“No!” Rami held the baby out. “She will not survive Shiva, you know that, Bodi!”
Bodi nodded. It was true, if they were found now, they would all be killed. Rami continued to hold the baby out to him and he took it, looking down at the tiny half-covered face.
“But you? What will you…”
“Here…” Rami held a package out. It was wrapped in cloth and bound tightly with a leather thong. “This is for her.” He leaned forward and gently placed his finger on her cheek. “This is her inheritance.” He tucked the package in Bodi’s arms, then he stood.
“Go now, Bodi,” he said fiercely. “There may not be much time left.” Bodi looked up at Rami’s face in the firelight. It seemed that his eyes burned with a strange kind of energy and that frightened Bodi. He got wearily to his feet. Rami was right; there wasn’t much time. “Rami?”
Rami looked back. He had already moved into the shadows and Bodi could hardly see him. “Rami, what have you named your daughter?” he called.
Rami stepped into the light and Bodi saw such pain on his face that his heart wrenched. “I have named her Indu,” Rami answered
. “She is called after the dawn.” Then he turned and walked away. He walked into the shadows and Bodi stood watching him and straining his eyes until he disappeared from view, a lone dark figure, one that Bodi loved and one that he knew he would never see again.
It was late afternoon when Dr. Hayes stood on the hillside and put his hand up to his eyes to shield them from the sun. He watched the river in the valley down below and the figure of the young man carrying the body of his English wife onto the light raft. It was Indian custom to commit the dead to water; who was he to interfere.
Rami laid Jane’s body wrapped in cloth carefully in the boat. He tied the leather straps to her ankles and climbed in beside her. Pushing himself off from the bank, he paddled the light raft downstream, into the center of the river, the widest, deepest part and then left the boat to drift. He uncovered Jane’s face and knelt down next to her.
Tying his own ankles, he attached the straps to the rocks he had carried on board and picked up the axe. He leaned forward and smashed a hole in the bottom of the boat, watching the water slowly come up around his legs. He lay down, his face close to Jane’s, his lips almost touching hers, then he put his right arm up and with a razor he slashed his wrist. He flinched at the pain, and looking at the blood already flowing from his veins, he cut the other arm.
He embraced his love, encircling her with his arms, with his blood and finally he closed his eyes. The water swirled up around their bodies, it slowly turned red and Rami was united with Jane for all eternity.
Dr. Hayes watched the small boat in the center of the river as it gently floated downstream. The sun sank low in the sky and it became difficult to see properly, the whole scene perfused with a glorious golden light. He turned away for a moment as a shout drifted across the air from the colony and when he turned back the boat had disappeared. He ran down the steep, rocky slope toward the river, staring at the watery horizon but after several hundred yards he gave up and slumped down on a rock. It was pointless. He shook his head, put his hand up and gazed out once more. The boat had gone. He watched the moving river for some time, thinking about Bodi Yadav, thinking about India, then he stood and turned back toward the colony. He was sad but he was also elated by the power of the love he had witnessed. He would keep his promise to Bodi. No one would ever know what had happened there, the life and the death would go unregistered and the secret would be kept.
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