by Prenisha Aja
“Should have thought of that before you made the wrong move. Plead to these niggas in here but not me,” he snapped as he got up and walked off.
I was still sitting down in a state of shock until I lost it. I started yelling so loudly and banging my head against the metal table. I was tired of all of this shit.
“Hines, calm down.” A guard came over and tried to grab me up, but I began fighting him off.
I wasn’t going to go out how Jaxsyn wanted me to. I would just keep doing shit that would keep me locked up by myself and away from everybody else.
Bam!
I was slammed to the ground forcefully. My head hit the tile floor and I knew that I would most likely have a gash there.
“Code red. Code red,” the male guard coded, causing other guards to come and help him.
They jerked me up and forced me behind one door and then another. They dragged me down a long white hallway as my head leaked blood.
“I need medical attention,” I hissed.
They ignored me, jerked me by my arm harder and then threw me into this dark room that only had one bed. I fell to the floor as they slammed the steel door closed, leaving me with a leaking head, a terrible headache, and my thoughts.
“Wake yo’ ass up, it’s time to eat.” A guard swung the door open and slid my plate inside.
I lifted my pounding head up and gently touched the dried-up blood where I bust my head open a little.
“Man, can I get medical?” I questioned, still sleepy.
My eyes were barely open, and the smell of that food made my stomach turn. Damn, how I missed being at home eating whatever I wanted.
“Maybe later.” He slammed the door back in my face.
“Fuck,” I screamed as I got up and picked the tray of food up and threw it across the floor.
I began punching the wall so hard until my hand bled. I hated this. I hated my life. I swear to God.
Plopping down on the hard, cement-like bed, I grabbed the thin sheet that I was forced to cover up with and cleaned my hands. I looked over the room and there was this little square-like window with bars on it that showed a little bit of outside.
The devil was riding my back hard and the thoughts that were going through my head weren’t good ones. I tried to shake it off but the more I held the soft, thick fabric in my hands, the more suicide seemed so much more appealing than being here.
I just hoped my mother understood that I loved her and that it was just some things that I wasn’t strong enough to deal with, at least not on my own.
Would I have been thinking like this had she put effort to care about me as much as she cared about Ted? Probably not, but life was fucked up like that.
Climbing on top of the toilet, I wrapped the sheet around my neck tightly, over and over again. The tears began to rain down my face as I did it, but I wasn’t turning back. I then tied it to the bars.
I prayed to God and asked him to forgive me for my sins and also for what I was about to do but right now, my life didn’t seem important to me.
Closing my eyes tightly, I leaped off the toilet as my feet dangled just a few inches away from the ground. As I coughed and clawed at the sheet that was only getting tighter around my neck, I knew there was no turning back now. I’m sorry Mom. I love you.
21
Kaizlyn
It was a day before graduation and here I was. I was standing in front of my mother’s gravesite with my grandma. This was her first time seeing her daughter since she ran away, and I could only imagine the pain she felt.
This was only my second time coming here. The first being the day she was buried. I hadn’t been back here since. I was pretty sure if I had asked someone from the group home to bring me here, they would have, but I was too busy drowning in depression. I was so low back then that I didn’t know if standing on my two feet with my head held high was even an option. I didn’t see the light. I felt like my world would forever be filled with grey skies and rainy days, but God prevailed. He showed me differently.
I had to understand that God needed my mother more no matter how badly I missed her. I wished that I could just have another minute with her, but I knew if that was even possible, I wouldn’t want her to leave me. I wouldn’t want to deal with that type of pain again because I was sure it would hurt just as bad as the first time she left.
I smiled as all of the good memories between us flashed through my head. My mother was my life. Hell, she was really the only person I had in my life until I met my grandma, which I was happy I did. Also, Jaxsyn… I sighed and an even bigger smile appeared on my face.
I knew a lot of people were probably skeptical of the two of us just off of the age difference, but he completed me. He was part of the reason why the sun was shining so brightly on my life.
I sometimes found myself wondering where I would be had he not come into my life. What demons would I still be battling? No matter what, I would forever give him his props for the impact he had on my life. Even though things were rocky between the both of our families, we managed to climb out of that black hole that the devil tried to bury us in.
“She would be so proud of you,” my grandma admitted, placing her hand in the middle of my back and slowly patting.
“You think so?” I turned and looked at her with wide eyes.
That meant a lot to me. Making my mother proud was something that I had set out to do. It was one of my main goals. Everything I did, I was doing it with hopes that my mother looked down from heaven with a big smile on her face.
“I still have so much more to accomplish,” I admitted.
Me finishing high school was the beginning of the race. I still had to go to college, pass those classes, get a degree and work my ass off.
A part of me wanted to be a lawyer or a detective, so that I could throw men like Ted straight in jail for their crimes. I wanted to become so invested into it, that a mistake of letting a murderer go wasn’t even an option.
I had turned the recording that I had on Ted in and even though it took them a few weeks, they finally picked his ass up. I didn’t know if what I had turned in would stick or not, but I hoped it did. I hoped that his ass rotted in jail.
“Yes, she would be,” my grandma continued.
I then took the roses that I had in my hand and sat them down on her grave. I said a few more silent words to her before I grabbed my grandma’s hand and walked back to the car, where Jaxsyn was waiting patiently for us.
“Are you feeling better baby?” he asked, grabbing my hand as we drove off.
“Yes.” I nodded as I stared out of the window, never taking my eyes off where my mother laid until it was no longer in sight.
I sighed deeply, closed my eyes and I had to admit I was proud of myself. I didn’t cry. I stood before her, strong in stance. That was a big step because I had cried so much that it would make me sick.
“Aright, let’s go pick out your graduation dress and shit… I mean stuff.” Jaxsyn chuckled as my grandma leaned forward and popped him on the back of his head.
“Watch yo’ mouth boy and when y’all have my great grandkids, you better learn to stop doing all that cursing,” she fussed at us.
“Yes ma’am.” He looked up at her through the rear-view mirror. The look on his face was hilarious. He seriously looked like a little boy that had just got in trouble.
No longer being able to hold my laugh in, I burst out laughing which caused everyone else to laugh also.
“It’s a party. It’s a party. Aye...” Keisha sang as she danced around the floor.
We were currently celebrating. We had just had graduation and I was glad that it was over. Sitting down for hours as they called everyone’s name was so boring. My ass damn near fell asleep a million times. But I would do it all over again just to hear my grandma, Jaxsyn and his people cheer as I made my was across the stage.
I had picked out this pretty yellow dress that looked amazing against my skin, and I had gotten my makeup done because I didn
’t want to do nothing but get dressed and go. I had gotten my hair pressed yesterday and I was feeling better than ever.
“Come on Kaizlyn, dance with me.” Keisha grabbed me by the hand, and I joined her on the dance floor.
Jaxsyn had rented out a nice little club and had invited everyone they knew. I barely knew anybody in here but that was ok because the energy was so fulfilling. I loved seeing all of the smiling faces.
I laughed as we danced to the beat of the song. I was happy. I felt complete. I felt like everything that had happened in my life before now made complete sense. At first, I just knew that no good could come out of losing my mother, but now I could see God’s divine purpose. All of it seemed to be a little surreal.
“Aye. Aye. Aye. Cut the music,” Jaxsyn and Ace yelled over the crowd as they stood by the entrance of the door.
Keisha and I stopped dancing. As we stood there, we tried to catch our breath as we looked at our men, wondering why in the hell did they stop the music.
“Let me go first.” Ace stepped forward with a beer in his hand and walked over towards Keisha.
Keisha was glowing like never before, and I was so happy to see that she survived and was able to be happily in love after what was done to her.
“I just want to say that I’m proud of you baby. Who would have ever known that a nigga that was around you for years, is the same nigga you get to continue to share every moment with. What started out as me babysitting your lil’ cripple ass,” he joked, and the room filled with laughter.
Even though Keisha was no longer in her cast and was not fully healed, she still walked a little differently. The doctors had told her that after a couple of rounds of therapy that she would be back to normal, but she was just happy that she was able to dress cute again and wasn’t being left behind because she was crutches.
“Shut up.” She blushed as she swatted at him.
“But no, for real. I’m happy that you continued to push no matter how hard the shit was. You didn’t let that get you down and I am forever grateful to be your man. Cheers to you baby.” He put his bottle of beer in the air then grabbed her up and placed a kiss on her lips.
They kissed and groped each other until Jaxsyn could no longer stomach it.
“Alright, enough of that shit.” He acted like he was going to puke.
He then turned his attention on me, and it was like the room became completely empty. I felt like the moment our eyes locked, it was now only me and him in the room.
“So baby, you already know I love the fuck out of you. I swear to God I do. I am so happy that even though it seemed like no matter which way you turned, there was always a road block, you managed to knock through that motherfucka and keep on pushing. You are a blessing not only to me, but everyone around you. I know that no matter what curve ball life tries to bring your way, you’re going to hit that bitch out of the park and always come out a winner. I promise that I am so proud of you and I can’t wait to see what else life has to offer for not just you, but for the both of us. Now bring yo’ ass over here and give me a kiss. I got a surprise for you outside.” He smiled at me as he stood there looking sexy as ever in his all-black, tailored suit and a yellow bowtie to match the dress that I had on.
I ran over to him and jumped into his arms, knowing for a fact that he would catch me. I placed my hands around his neck tightly and kissed him as if no one was watching. I was sticking my tongue down his throat and everything.
“Baby, stop before we leave all these motherfuckas here,” Jaxsyn whispered into my ear, and I tilted my head backwards as I died laughing.
“Ok, put me down so I can go see my surprise,” I told him.
Jaxsyn placed me on my feet and grabbed my hand as we walked outside. When I walked out the doors, there with a big red bow on top was my very first car. It was so pretty.
“It’s for you.” He reached in his pocket and handed me the keys to my new all-white Mazda.
“I know you did not,” I heard Keisha say as I screamed with excitement.
I jerked the keys away from him and ran to my car, happy as ever.
“Don’t worry, you got one too,” Jaxsyn told her as someone drove up next to my car with her a car just like mine, except hers was red.
After checking out my car, I went over to my man as he stood in the middle of his boys talking. I walked over to him, pulled him away from them and gave him a kiss.
“Thank you, baby.” I smiled.
“You know a thug always gon’ come through,” he boasted, and I shook my head and kissed him again.
I knew there was no doubt in his words. Jaxsyn came through and he had yet to disappoint me. I was in love and hooked on his thuggish ass.
THE END.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Hey my loves! Like Omg, we have another one. I still can’t believe you all rock with me the way that you do. I swear, if I have never told you before, THANK YOU!! I appreciate every last one of you and I truly wish that I could tell you all individually. I hope that each and every last one of you enjoyed this read just as much as I did writing it. Please leave a review and let me know exactly what you thought. I love you all and I promise there is more to come.
xoxo- Prenisha Aja’
About the Author
Prenisha Aja' whom was born and raised in Conroe, Tx.
She's a 28 year old author who fell in love with the art of it all by picking up her first urban book decades ago. From writing down stories about her life in a journal to participating in the short story challenge that took Facebook by a storm, it all lead her to one thing. Being a Author!
With her foot in the door and not knowing much about the industry, she wrote and Self-Published her Debut Novel A Bitter Love which opened many doors for her.
Prenisha hopes to that her writing will keep you interested and wanting more which each book that she drops.
To keep up with all things Author Prenisha Aja’, such as upcoming releases, sneak peeks, giveaways, and much more, join my readers group: bookwithHER
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