“I’m so glad Charlotte let Porter take her to the store.” Natalie smiled.
I grinned, thinking about the fight Charlotte put up about it, some tears and slamming doors were involved. She was determined to get her way, meaning she wanted to go by herself or she wanted her mom to take her to get the supplies she needed for the lipstick science project we decided on. We were going to test the bleed and longest lasting coverage of expensive and inexpensive brands. Natalie told her if she went by herself she was paying for the supplies with her own money.
Charlotte was so desperate not to spend her own money or go with Porter, she even asked me to come. But I knew the siblings needed the time together, so I used the excuse that I was tired of being on crutches. Which was true. Tomorrow I planned on putting some light weight on my ankle. The doctor said I could after a couple of days.
Porter won her over with an offer to pay for the supplies, and he threw in a pair of new shoes. By the devious look in her eye, they were going to be very expensive.
“I hope they work out their differences.” I diced the cucumber carefully and uniformly. I was weird like that.
She half scoffed. “Those two don’t have differences; their problem is they are too much alike.”
“I could see that.”
She rolled tortillas and sighed. “I think Porter’s absence hurt Charlotte the most.” She gave me a small smile. “Present company excluded.”
I wasn’t sure that was true.
“She idolized him. And he spoiled her more than any of us.”
“Did they have any contact?”
“Oh, sure. Porter called her for a while, at least when she was willing to talk to him, and anytime he traveled he sent her postcards and little trinkets. She’s tried to pretend that she threw them away, but I found them under her bed in a shoebox. And he was always good about sending her birthday and Christmas gifts. This last Christmas he sent her a plane ticket to visit him.”
“I assume she hasn’t used it?”
“You are a smart woman.”
“So none of you saw him this entire time?”
She placed her spoonful of chicken mixture back in the bowl and paused. “I flew out to see him after he had been gone a year. He was living in Dallas working two jobs, struggling to make ends meet. I showed up at the restaurant he was waiting tables at. He looked exhausted, but he turned on some fake energy trying to fool me into thinking he was happy and doing what he wanted to do. I went there with every intention of begging him to come home, but . . .” she sighed. “I thought maybe that was what he needed. He needed to struggle. It’s good for the soul. Or I thought, even hoped, he would give up and come home.”
She picked up her spoon again to finish filling the remaining tortillas. “I guess I was partially right. He made it on his own, only it came at a greater cost than I ever thought he was willing to pay. I regret not asking him to come home then.”
“I don’t think he would have.”
“You’re probably right.” She sounded like all the happiness had been sucked out of her.
I realized how that might have come across and cringed. “Natalie, I didn’t mean because it was you. He wanted to make something out of himself so his dad would be proud of him.”
Her blurry eyes met mine across the island. “Beau is proud of him, he just doesn’t know how to show it when it comes to Porter.”
“Maybe this will be a new beginning for father and son.” I only said that to comfort Natalie; after their meeting today, I wasn’t sure how likely that would be.
She may have rolled her eyes when the spoonful of chicken came down hard on the tortilla. “I’m not holding my breath. Beau won’t admit how much he needs Porter’s help and Porter thinks Beau doesn’t know a thing or two.”
I set down the knife I was using, not sure if I should ask my next question, but Natalie’s all-knowing eyes said to proceed. “You know why Porter came home?”
She pointed her spoon at me. “Besides you, of course I do. Beau,” she practically laughed his name, “still thinks he can keep things from me. Like I haven’t noticed all his cost cutting measures, pacing late at night, the worry in his eyes. And I overheard him talking to Porter. His voice carries.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. All I kept running through my brain was that she thought Porter came home because of me.
She edged around the island and stood next to me with that smile of hers. She tilted my chin with the tenderness every mother should be required to have. Even half of hers would cure a lot of what ails the world. The world would be a better place if there were more mothers like Natalie. I knew how lucky I was, not to have been a statistic of my upbringing. Sometimes I shuddered thinking about how my life should have turned out according to the unwritten rules of life. I guess in my own right, I was a rule breaker too.
“Don’t look so surprised. Beau asked Porter to come several weeks ago.” She dropped her hand. “Not in the most loving fashion mind you. I wanted to barge into his office and tell him he was doing it all wrong. That he should’ve asked him to come home a long time ago and not because he needed his help. I thought for sure he wouldn’t come home, but then,” her mouth up turned, “he posted a picture of you.”
My cheeks burned.
“Ah, you know about the picture.”
I looked down at the pile of cucumbers on the cutting board. “I may have checked him out online a few times.” A few times every few months, but who was counting?
Her laughter filled the kitchen. It was the loveliest laugh ever. “And what did you think of my son’s online exploits?”
I braved facing her. There was no judgment in her eyes. “He certainly didn’t lack for female company.”
Her face tinged red. “Yes, well, he could’ve made better choices.”
“You mean you didn’t like Honey or Skipper?”
“Oh, honey, don’t even get me started. Believe me, I kept my eye on the situation. If I had to, I was planning on saving my son from himself. Thankfully,” she grinned at me, “he came to his senses.”
“I don’t think he came here because of me. He wants to make things right with his family and the Clairborne.”
She waved off my remark. “He could’ve helped the Clairborne from where he was at. Not to say that he doesn’t want to make amends.” She placed her manicured hand over my heart.
It was a little awkward, her basically touching my breast.
“But make no mistake, he came home to capture your heart. I knew it from the moment he walked in the door last week. He was a man on a mission.” She removed her hand and walked back toward her side of the island. “It’s why Beau and I were a . . . bit much, when we saw you at the reception.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. That was an understatement.
“We both knew if there was any chance of Porter staying, you would have to be part of the package. And,” she gave me the softest look, “from our brief interaction, I thought perhaps you might need us as much as we wanted you. You don’t know how much I wish I would’ve done more for you while you worked for us.”
I focused back on chopping the vegetables. Her words touched me to the center of my soul. “You did more for me than you’ll ever know. My time here was the happiest of my life.” I tried to keep the lacrimal fluids in check but wasn’t succeeding.
She too seemed to have a hard time staving off the tears. “Well, I’m happy to hear that, but we should have done more.”
“You let me date Porter even though we were breaking the rules,” I said sheepishly.
“I wish I could say that was for altruistic reasons.”
“Whatever the reason, it made a world of difference to me.”
Natalie caught my attention with her gaze. “What difference is it making now?” Her tone was half cautious, half optimistic.
I met her inquisitive stare. “This has all been so unexpected. It’s a lot to take in. And Porter has always made it so easy to get swept up in him. There is so
much more now to think of. I want to do the right thing for both of us. Honestly, I’ve been running from my feelings for most of my life; it’s hard when you come face-to-face with them. And what do you do when the person that you’ve loved most in your life has caused the most hurt?”
Her perfectly shaped brows came together while she thought for a moment. “The people that we love most in our life always have the power to hurt us the most. And as hard as it is to reconcile, they will be the ones to hurt us the most. Not that you should ever cause intentional hurt. Sometimes you might not even know that you hurt someone. Most of the time they probably don’t even know they hurt you.”
“I’m pretty sure Porter knew he hurt me.”
“Oh, he knew. I’m not excusing him, but I think, as is the case most of the time, he allowed his own pain to take precedence. As humans, we are typically selfish beings. It takes great maturity and self-awareness to learn when we should place another’s hurt above our own. And to know when it’s worth risking your heart.”
“What if you make the wrong choice?”
She gave me the smile of a woman who knew a thing or two. “Honey, the question isn’t if, it’s when. But,” she paused, “if it’s meant to work out, you’ll find life usually has a way of giving you a second chance. And if you’re really lucky, maybe even a third or fourth.”
Was life giving Porter and me a second chance?
Chapter Twenty
Dinner was a somewhat tense event. Neither Porter nor his dad could mention their meeting as they were both under the impression that Natalie had no idea the Clairborne was in trouble. But it was discussed all right, only through gestures and their body language. They refused to make eye contact and said very little to each other. The strain in Mr. Clairborne’s voice was apparent when he asked Porter to pass the ice water.
Poor Natalie was doing her best to smooth it all over. Like when Mr. Clairborne mentioned he had some meetings that didn’t go as he had hoped, Natalie replied, without trying to give anything away, “In my experience sometimes opposing views give me the opportunity to look at a situation with new eyes, leading me to solve my problem in a better way.”
Mr. Clairborne and Porter gave Natalie a look that said she couldn’t possibly know, could she? It was almost scary that they both tilted their head the exact same way and their narrowed blue eyes mirrored each other right down to the same number of creases it produced on their foreheads.
Meanwhile, all I could think about was the conversation Natalie and I had in the kitchen. Was I really the reason Porter came home? Was Porter worth risking my heart and daring to hope that I could love and be loved? The way he held my hand under the table and caressed it with his thumb, or the gentle way he’d kissed my cheek when he returned from the store made me think that it was possible. But when I looked between father and son, there was no denying the rift that existed and at this point seemed impossible to bridge. What effect would that have on Porter’s future plans? What were his plans? And why was I even thinking like this?
Porter squeezed my hand tight under the table. There was a bond there that ran even deeper than I realized. It was exactly why I was having these thoughts. And maybe that kiss earlier.
I was thankful when the conversation began to center around Charlotte. I got the feeling she was used to being the center of attention, here and at school. Charlotte stood up with dramatic flair and placed her hands on the table.
“I have an announcement to make.” She flipped her gorgeous tresses. “Guess who was nominated for prom queen?” She gave us all a dazzling beauty queen smile. “That’s right! Mua!”
I could tell she had been waiting to share the news to get maximum effect.
Natalie immediately jumped up and pulled Charlotte to her for a celebratory hug that included some jumping up and down. It was almost as if Natalie herself had been nominated. My focus turned toward Mr. Clairborne. His reaction seemed to say, How much is this going to cost me? Porter, I’m sure in his attempt to make amends with his sister, was nothing but sweet about it. Not one hint of sarcasm or teasing could be heard in his congratulations.
Natalie was all a blather. “Oh we have so much to do. Of course we’ll have to think of a good campaign and slogan.” She turned toward Porter. “You can help us right, mijo?” Her eyes filled with such tenderness referring to Porter as son.
Porter locked eyes with Natalie. He had to have felt the love conveyed in her beautiful brown eyes. He didn’t hesitate to answer. “I would love to.”
I wasn’t sure when he would find time to, besides helping the Clairborne and keeping up with his online classes, his break from work wasn’t truly a vacation. He had a slew of conference calls with the Bristol set up for tomorrow morning. He’d been answering phone calls and responding to several emails throughout yesterday and today. Not to mention helping me and Charlotte.
Mr. Clairborne wasn’t as excited as the rest of his family. “There will be no talk of being prom queen until your science project is completed.”
“Daddy,” Charlotte whined, but with a smile to warm her dad’s heart, “this is important too.”
Mr. Clairborne smiled back, but he wasn’t falling for the charm that oozed off her. “I’m proud of you, baby girl, but passing biology and raising your GPA is our top priority.” His eyes and demeanor said that there would be no argument.
Natalie sat back down and reached for her husband’s hand. “You’re absolutely right, but. . .” Her eyes lit up like Q-carbon, which is even brighter than a diamond—it’s made with sapphire and a high-powered laser beam. “You have to tell us who else was nominated.”
From the look on Mr. Clairborne’s face, he knew it was a lost cause. He figuratively threw his hands up in the air and listened to his daughter and wife prattle on and on about all the ins and outs of prom and the royal court.
It all sounded foreign to me. I never went to prom or had friends that were nominated for prom queen. Unless you counted Jaycee, though we didn’t go to the same school. And I believe she was runner-up. But I enjoyed listening to how excited Charlotte was and the attention paid to her by her parents. It gave me hope that happy families really existed. Even this not-so-perfect family.
Porter caught me staring at him giving his rapt attention to his mom and sister. His eyes said that he too had hope. I think his hopes had more to do with the two of us. But I knew making things right with his family would have to be part of making things right between us.
~*~
The house rule was if Natalie cooked, Mr. Clairborne cleaned; I liked it. Once Mr. Clairborne cleared dinner and did the dishes, Porter, Charlotte, and I took over the kitchen and turned it into a science lab. Words cannot express how excited I was. I’m not sure what that said about me, other than I was boring, but there was something about the thrill of the unknown. Even if it had to do with lipstick. There was great satisfaction in knowing that you didn’t have to believe everything you were told or sold. You could find out for yourself if what was said was true. There was great power in that, though very few seemed to care.
Porter continued to be at Charlotte’s disposal. He volunteered to be the test dummy for our experiment, though I wasn’t quite sure he knew exactly what that involved when he agreed to it.
When we set out all the supplies for the experiment, I noticed that Charlotte got her money’s worth out of her brother. Instead of the five brands of varying prices I suggested, there was double that, and I couldn’t help but be suspicious that each shade would look fabulous on Charlotte. Not to mention the ruby heels she was walking around in. When she told her mom the brand name of the shoe, Natalie shook her head, not pleased. I was guessing that meant they were quite expensive. Charlotte was apparently wearing them to break them in. And it was the key to Porter winning her over. Her off with his head attitude seemed to have dissipated. I had heard a good pair of shoes could work wonders. I never believed it before now.
We lined up each lipstick, and with each tube went a
glass of water, an apple, and a white napkin. Porter eyed each item warily now, getting the picture of what he had signed up to do. I for one couldn’t wait to see how he looked in each shade.
“Wait now, I thought I was helping you smear lipstick on sheets of paper and heating them up.” Porter held up his hand to protest.
“Oh, you are,” I couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice. “But first we need to test how long the coverage lasts.”
We were both sitting at the island, and he leaned in to whisper in my ear, “Why don’t you wear the lipstick and I’ll kiss you until it wears off?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer. Charlotte was contorting her face from across the kitchen. “Ooo, gross, I didn’t pick this experiment so I could watch you make out with your girlfriend.”
I wouldn’t necessarily say I was his girlfriend, but I didn’t address it. “Kissing wouldn’t allow us to control the variables.”
Porter wagged his eyebrows. “I like uncontrolled variables.”
Charlotte acted as if she were gagging herself. “Is that some kind of code word for s—”
“Variables,” I interrupted her before she or her brother could embarrass me more, “are factors or conditions that can change during the course of an experiment. The glasses of water, napkins, and apples are our controlled variables.” I decided to also use this as a teaching moment even though it was a tad uncomfortable. “Kissing isn’t a viable option because we can’t account for changes in body temperature, saliva production, intensity, and technique.”
“Are you trying to turn me on?” Porter groaned in my ear. “I thought you always enjoyed my technique.”
Charlotte gave him the biggest eye roll of all time.
I nudged him away but had to admit I didn’t mind him whispering in my ear, or the thought of kissing him, though I thought we really needed to talk some more. First science, and then life. That was pretty much the story of my life.
Chapter Twenty-One
I went to bed not long after the experiment concluded, and well before the siblings did. I left them to organize the display board with the pictures Charlotte had taken with her camera that printed snapshots. I had to say, Porter would make an excellent drag queen. Red was definitely his color.
Second Chance in Paradise Page 14