by Sienna Blake
My eyes snap open. Dimitri has never looked so serious. Oh my God. He’d pay the hundred thousand pounds to my husband for me? “You’d do that…for me?”
“Of course I would. Everything I’ve ever done—good, bad, ugly—has been for you. You have to know that.”
Something cracks inside me. The last five years of repressed anguish and loneliness releases in a flood along with the last five weeks of pain and torture.
“Alena,” he hushes, kissing up my tears as they roll down my cheeks. “Don’t cry.”
I need him. I need his mouth on mine. I just need.
This time I’m the one lunging for his lips. Hungry. Needy. His tongue finds mine in my open wanting mouth. I moan. His hands twist into my hair as he presses me farther into the wall. My head spins like we’re on a carousel as my hands roam his body, learning the shape and feel of him again. God, he feels so good. The hard planes of his strong muscles. The way my arms barely fit around his back. The way he presses his hard length against me.
He breaks away from me and I whimper.
“I am not fucking you for the first time against a goddamn wall,” he growls.
I nod. He’s right. We’ve waited this long. What’s a little longer? My mind turns to a large bed, soft sheets, low lighting and Dimitri making love to me all night.
He slides his hands behind me and grabs my ass, breaking through my thoughts. He lifts me so that my legs are wrapped around his waist and my sensitive core is pressed against his hardness. I groan at the sweet, sweet pressure, my world turning on a long-forgotten axis as he carries me into the bedroom and lowers me to the floor.
His hands make quick work of my clothes and his. I reach for him, wanting to touch his beautiful naked body. He grabs me before I can, spinning me. He lifts me onto the edge of the bed, pressing my back down so I’m on all fours. My entire being is alive, electric with anticipation. I gaze at the painting at the head of the bed, a landscape of the lonely windswept moors at the end of autumn, mottled purple like a fading bruise.
I gasp as his erection finds my entrance. His fingers tighten on my hips as he pushes inside me. He feels so full and…right.
My head spins. I’ve waited seven years for this. Seven long years. Is this truly happening? Is this real?
He begins to move, hard and violent, his pace relentless. I grip the sheets as pleasure and the need for more crash against each other. He is brutal and furious. He fucks me like he hates me. I push back. He fights back. Maybe he needs this, we need this. A violent ballet of limbs and groans. There’s plenty of time to make love later.
“Never leave me again,” he growls, as he slams into me like he wants to break me apart.
“Oh God,” I cry, as we race towards the edge.
“Say you’ll never leave me.” He grabs my hair and pulls so my head is forced back, making my scalp tingle. His breathing is heavy and hot in my ear as he covers my body, his chest against my back, his thrusts unrelenting. “Say it.”
“I’ll never leave.” I can’t hold it back anymore. My body shatters into a million beautiful pieces. And I scream, “Oh God, never, never, never.”
I feel him pulse inside me. He lets out a long vicious groan as he comes apart too.
We collapse in a heap, a ruin of hot breath and sweaty limbs.
52
____________
Alena
I trace my fingertip along the ridges of Dimitri’s stomach as I lie naked along his side. Inside, I feel a sense of peace I have not felt in years. My restless soul has settled, now that its other half is back. I feel whole.
I should feel guilty. I know I should. I have a husband. But he never loved me. And I never loved him. Our marriage is a sham. What exists between Dimitri and me lies beyond the realm of mortal laws.
When I look up, Dimitri is watching me, his eyes hooded, a half-smile on his face. I flush. “You came after me,” I say.
“I watched you leave and…” he swallows, “it was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
He came after me. He put his hate aside. My heart warms. “Harder than becoming a millionaire investor, Mr Wolf?” I tease. I haven’t had a chance to dwell on this accomplishment until now. Dimitri did everything he set out to do and more. I’m so proud of him.
“Yes.” His eyes are serious. There’s no trace of bragging. “Making money is just about numbers.”
“And you know numbers.”
Dimitri says nothing. The silence swells with missing time, with the five years that we’ve been apart. I want to know everything about that time. What he did, where he’s been. I want to stitch our lives back together again, starting from when he left Russia.
“Where did you first live in America?”
His lips twitches before he answers. “New York.”
New York. Like he always planned. I imagine Dimitri as a nineteen year old arriving without me in that strange foreign land, only the simplest of English words to his name, and my heart twinges. “Did you—?”
“I don’t want to talk about that, okay?” He slides out from under me and stands, flashing me a view of his perfect rounded ass, before tugging on his briefs.
I sit up, clutching the sheets to my chest, a strange feeling scraping out my chest. “Where are you going?”
He turns to face me, his glorious chiselled body on display. I think I see a flash of something dark cross his eyes. It’s gone before I can even be sure. “I can’t just lie here. There are things that need to be done first.”
“Of course.” He’s right. What we just did was disrespectful to my marriage, sham as it is. I need to end my marriage before Dimitri and I can start our lives together properly. We need to tell my husband and…Emily. My stomach pangs. I toss aside the sheets and reach for my clothes. “I’ll pack so we can leave—”
“No. Stay. Relax.” He pulls me into his arms and kisses my head. “I’ll go first. I’ll explain everything to Emily and your husband. I’ll send the car back for you tomorrow.”
I melt into him, chewing my lip. “They’ll be mad. Hurt.”
He nods against my hair, swaying with me a little. “I’ll take the brunt of it.”
My heart lets out a flutter. “You don’t have to face them alone.”
“It’s better this way, Alena. Trust me.” He leans in, claiming my mouth in a deep kiss. A kiss that has my toes curling and wild heat dancing in my body again. He pulls away before we can get carried away again. “Soon everything will be right.”
I smile up to him. “Everything will be perfect.”
53
____________
Alena
The car arrives the very next morning as Dimitri promised. I’m ready, my single suitcase packed. On the long drive to Worthington Manor, I can do nothing but think about how Edgar and Emily reacted when Dimitri broke the news to them yesterday. I am achingly happy Dimitri is mine again. The rightness of it has me beaming so hard that my cheeks hurt. Underneath are tangles of regret.
My husband’s pride will be hurt, but he will move on quickly. I’m not his great love, not even a little love. I’m nothing more than a vessel for an heir for him.
But Emily…
I should have told Emily about Dimitri. I should have told her long ago. Perhaps her heart might have been spared. I was too scared that even speaking his name would unleash the tight control I had on my hurt. I was scared that she’d tell her father and expose me. And I was embarrassed at my mistake. Ashamed at myself. I could not bear for sweet little Emily, the only friend I had, to gaze upon me with disgust or pity. I’m no fool. I know women judge each other more harshly than they do men. It’s easier to forgive Dimitri for all his faults than to forgive me for a foolish mistake I made five years ago when I was just a child.
My palms are sweating when the car pulls up in front of Worthington Manor. I let out a shaky breath as I gaze across the familiar structure. I didn’t think I’d be back so soon.
The front door opens. My he
art leaps.
It’s not Dimitri. It’s Javier. His face is dark, his lips pressed thin and white like a lightning strike.
I tumble out of the car without waiting for the driver to open my door. “Javier, what’s wrong?”
He calls to the driver to take care of my suitcase before taking my arm, leading me towards the house. “Dimitri has taken over Edgar’s company.”
“What? Edgar would never let—”
“He has no choice. Dimitri secretly bought up the majority of the shares.” Javier shakes his head. “It was an underhanded move. One that he didn’t even let me in on.”
The flash of darkness in Dimitri’s eyes yesterday. Oh God.
This isn’t over.
We walk quickly into the house. Inside the air seems hot and thick. I can hear the distant sound of wailing.
Emily. My stomach twists.
I start forward to go to her. Javier holds me back. When I turn to him, his face is bleak. “That’s not all.”
My stomach drops. What more is there?
“This house, in fact all the property Edgar owned, was put up as collateral against his company as part of the reinvestment.” Javier’s throat bobs. “Now that Dimitri owns the company…”
“He owns this house,” I finish for him.
Javier nods. “He’s given Edgar and Emily twenty-four hours to leave the premises.”
My hands fly to my mouth. No. He can’t. He…
He can. He would. The hatred I thought he had let go of was only lying underneath the surface. Waiting for this moment.
He planned this.
He planned everything.
“This is your fault,” a voice hisses. I look up to find Mrs Bates halfway down the stairs, her hands gripping the balustrade like claws, her eyes, fixed on me, are filled with bitter hatred. For once I cannot blame her. “Whore!”
“Mrs Bates,” Javier reprimands in a stern voice. “Speak to her again like that again and I shall have you removed from this premises without the courtesy of allowing you to pack your things.”
Mrs Bates looks like she wants to say more. She shuts her mouth and stomps away with the swish of her skirts.
Javier turns to me. “This is not your fault, Alena.”
I nod numbly, but I don’t believe him. I am the reason for the monster that lives inside of Dimitri.
“It’s not too late to stop this. If anyone can get through to him, it’s you.” Javier grips my hands, his dark eyes fixed on mine radiating with worry. “He’s in his bedroom.”
54
____________
Dimitri
I run my fingers over the papers on the desk in my guest room, soon-to-be master bedroom. This was not part of my plan.
As the car took Alena away two days ago, something broke to the surface inside me. I’d run through the house like a madman before I knew why I was running, tumbling out the door, staring after the car in the distance, already too far, a piece of my soul flying alongside it.
I’d fallen in love with her again. With her wild spirit, her generous soul and her dreamer’s heart. Or maybe I’d never fallen out of love. It had just been buried underneath the world of pain I had carried on my shoulders.
I was good at foreseeing things. It was the reason I had risen so fast. Loving her was not something I foresaw.
I remember sinking into her body yesterday, into her soft, wet folds. For a split second, I felt peace. I felt the pieces of my heart stitching back together.
Only it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.
The anger is still here, the hungry beast. I’d fed it for five years and it grew fat and greedy.
Someone still needs to pay.
And Alena…
Well, I have different plans for her now. She still loves me. She regrets choosing him, this much I know.
Her love is not enough. Her promises not enough. This time, I’ll make sure she’ll never be able to walk away.
55
____________
Alena
Dimitri is standing behind his desk when I enter his bedroom. His head snaps up to me as soon as I walk in, even though my feet barely make a sound on the carpet, nor does the well-oiled door creak. I didn’t knock either. It’s like he can sense me. He can feel the pull our souls have on each other and probably always will.
I shut the door behind me. “Please, don’t do it.”
“It’s not up for discussion.”
I shake my head, refusing to accept it. I walk in farther, moving closer to him, slowly, the way I would an injured animal. “Why, Dimi?”
“Your husband dared to take you away from me.”
“He didn’t know I was someone else’s to take.”
“And what about now? I see the way he treats you, Alena. Like you’re worthless. When he should be worshipping the very ground you walk on.” His hands flex into fists so tight that his knuckles go white.
No. Please no. My blood chills in my veins. “You can’t have done this for me. I don’t want this, no matter how badly he treats me.”
His eyes narrow. “I did this for me.”
I must find a crack in his defences, a chink in his armour. I know Dimitri isn’t heartless like this. Not truly. “What about Emily? She’s done nothing to you except love you.”
Dimitri’s lip presses just a touch. “She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t know me.”
“She doesn’t deserve to be kicked out of her childhood home without a place to go.”
“It’s nothing personal with her. She just got caught up in the sins of the people around her.”
My heart stabs. Dimitri has not forgiven me. Yesterday as he was taking me, even as he was giving me the most intense pleasure of my life, he was still punishing me. Would he ever stop punishing me?
“Hurting Emily is unfortunate but necessary,” he says with such coldness, it pierces my heart.
“It is not necessary.”
“It is.” His fist slams down on the desk. “My heart—my fucking world—was shattered five years ago. Someone must pay.” His eyes glitter with madness. “They will pay. I will have my restitution.”
All my hopes turn to ash in my mouth. I’ve failed. He will not listen to me. He can barely hold my gaze without scowling.
He slides a pile of papers across the desk towards me.
“What’s this?”
“For you.”
Me? Dread fills my stomach with bile. I pick up the papers, my eyes scanning across the black ink. I didn’t think my heart could drop any further. I didn’t think my world could crumble any further.
I was wrong.
“You said you’d never leave me,” Dimitri says. “Forgive me if I don’t take your word on it.”
My visions blurs. It’s a contract. Dimitri has drawn up a contract for me, a marriage contract. It binds me to him forever. No divorce. No release clauses. No loopholes.
He wants to make sure I never leave him.
56
____________
Alena
I float aimlessly down the corridors, the folded marriage contract burning a hole in my pocket. I needed time to read through the pages, I said to Dimitri. I think I said. I’m not sure.
I jerk out of my thoughts when I pass my husband’s bedroom. Through the crack in the door I can hear a voice. And…is that a sob?
I creep closer and press my eye to the gap.
My husband is sitting on the floor with his back to me. In dress slacks. I gape at this alone. So undignified, I can still hear him saying when he found Emily and I lying about on the carpet in her room.
Edgar is muttering something, his voice breaking, to the large framed photo in his hand.
I swallow a gasp. He’s holding a photo of me. One I’ve never seen before. When was that taken? Why is he holding it?
I notice that her hair is straight, the tip of her nose more upturned and her cheeks are a touch softer than mine.
It must be his wife. Elise. The woman whose name he calls
sometimes when we are together.
She and I could have passed for sisters.
A piece of the puzzle slots into place and I can see the whole picture. This is why he wanted me. Because I look like Elise. My husband still loves a woman who is dead. Emily’s mother. My heart twists in my chest for him. This is why he is the way he is. Edgar resents me for not being her. He must hate himself for trying to replace her.
My husband’s cold facade shines differently in my mind. For the first time in five years, I see him for who he really is. Not a monster. Not the villain in this story. But a person who lost the love of his life. A person who made poor, grief-fuelled choices.
Not so different from Dimitri.
Or…me.
57
____________
Alena
I stand at Emily’s closed bedroom door, staring at the engravings of choked ivy painted in placid cream. I’ve been here for God knows how long, trying to work up the courage to go in. I’m not sure how many times I lift my hand to push open her door, only to let it drop to my side.
Go to her, Alena. She needs you.
She hates you. She didn’t even say goodbye properly when you left here two days ago.
Regardless of what has happened, regardless of how she feels about me, I cannot just walk away.
I take a deep breath and open her door. Emily is sitting on the edge of her bed, staring out her window. Her face turns towards me as I call her name softly.
“Alena.” Her red-rimmed eyes widen as she stands.
I prepare myself for her fury. I steel myself as she storms over to me.
She throws her thin arms around me and sniffs into my shirt. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
I push aside my surprise and grip her back, pressing my face into her rose-scented hair, warmth trickling into my heart. “I should have come sooner.”
“I shouldn’t have let you leave.” She pulls back so I can see her face.