by Paige Tyler
Rachel stared at him, spoonful of ice cream halfway to her mouth. “You did?”
“Yeah. I thought it must be potpourri or something, but now I realize it wasn’t that at all.”
“What was it?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know.
He spooned a big scoop of ice cream into his mouth before answering her, his gaze locked on hers as he let the dessert melt a little before swallowing. She’d never paid so much attention to a man eating before, but there was something about the way Knox did it that worked for her. It wasn’t exactly sensual—he was too rough around the edges for anything he did to be described in that manner—but it mesmerized her all the same.
“You,” he finally said, the word soft.
Her pulse skipped a little, and she tried ignoring how interested her inner wolf had suddenly become in the conversation. She didn’t even like licorice jelly beans. “Me?”
He nodded, busying himself with another bite of ice cream. She marveled at how agile his tongue was as he licked the dark chocolate bits from the spoon, having to work extra hard to shove her dirty mind away from the gutter it was heading for.
“I tracked the scent for nearly ten blocks that night in LA, all the way to a dance club,” he said. “You were there with Diego and Zane. It was obvious you were searching for something—or someone. I got curious, so instead of leaving like I planned, I hung around so I could see what you were up to and ended up following you all over town.”
She cursed. Thank God she was too angry right then to examine why a new werewolf like him had been able to track her so easily. The reason behind it was too far-fetched to even consider. “You’re the one who was stalking me the whole time I was out there. You’re the shadow I kept seeing out of the corner of my eye and the scent I kept picking up all the time.”
“You picked up my scent?” He grinned. “What do I smell like?”
“What you smell like isn’t important right now,” she snapped, dropping her spoon into her bowl and refusing to even think about the subject. “What’s important is that I smelled you everywhere but I never saw you. I thought I was losing my frigging mind, you jerk, that you were another shadow sent to drive me insane.”
Rachel was hyperventilating by the time she finished. One moment, she was simply upset, and the next, it was like she was in one of her darkest dreams as she remembered what it had been like for her in LA when she’d been surrounded by all the scents and visions she hadn’t been able to understand.
Then the darkness that had been her near-constant companion for months once again threatened to overwhelm her. She gripped the edge of the table as her fangs and claws came out, the tips of the latter digging into the wood.
She needed to get out of here before she completely lost it and began screaming in terror right there at the kitchen table.
Before she could get her feet under her, two large hands covered hers. Just like that, her claws unclenched.
“Relax, Rachel. Just breathe,” Knox said softly.
That advice didn’t do crap for her. The problem wasn’t lack of air—it was an excess of it. But the warm hands on hers combined with his gentle voice helped more than she could have ever imagined. A calmness enveloped her that was unlike anything she’d ever experienced, and she felt her breathing and heart rate slowing down and returning to normal. As fast as they’d extended, her fangs and claws retracted completely.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when she finally lifted her head, it was to see Knox eyeing her in concern. It was a disconcerting expression to see on his face, especially when she was trying so hard to convince herself that he couldn’t be trusted.
“You okay?” he asked.
Rachel slowly pulled her hands out from under his, thankful he didn’t do anything freaky like try to hold on to them. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “I’m good. I had a moment there, but I’m good now.”
He regarded her thoughtfully. “What happened? Your eyes went bright neon green, and then it seemed like you weren’t here anymore.”
She opened her mouth to lie—something she’d gotten extremely good at doing lately—but when the words came out, they were a whole lot closer to the truth than she’d intended.
“Sometimes I have dreams about the night that clown attacked me and I became a werewolf.” She dropped her gaze, staring unseeingly at the empty bowl in front of her. “When I was out in LA, I experienced some flashbacks related to that. Talking to you about what happened out there brought everything rushing back.”
An uncomfortable silence filled the kitchen, and Rachel felt her face heat, shocked she’d been so forthcoming. She wasn’t sure what the hell had come over her. She wasn’t sure how her mental health—or lack thereof—had become the focus of the conversation, but she definitely didn’t like it.
She cleared her throat. “What do you say we move this to the living room, so I can start teaching you how to be a werewolf?”
Knox took their bowls to the sink without being asked. Heck, he even rinsed them out and put them in the dishwasher. Not the right way, but it was the thought that counted, right?
Opening the fridge, she took out two bottles of craft beer from a local Dallas brewery she loved, handed him one, then led the way to the living room. She curled up on the love seat, tucking her feet under her as she sipped the smooth beer.
“I wasn’t stalking you back in LA,” Knox said quietly from the other couch. “I only wanted to talk to you. I tried to approach you a few times, but Zane or Diego were always with you—sometimes both.” He took a swallow of beer. “If you want to label someone a stalker, they fit the bill. They never left your side for a second.”
Rachel didn’t want to mention her pack mates had been so obsessive about sticking close to her because they weren’t sure if she could be trusted. “We were out there searching for hunters. None of us liked any of the others to be on their own.”
“Hey, I get it. It makes complete sense,” he said, even though he didn’t look like he was buying the lie at all. “Regardless, I was still trying to figure out how to get close to you when you guys attacked the vampire nest. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to that place, but once I knew that’s where you were going, I tried to help any way I could, as much as I could.”
Rachel thought back to the morning she and her pack mates assaulted the nest. They hadn’t been sure what they were up against and even less sure if any of them would make it out alive. It had been pure insanity in that dimly lit labyrinth of corridors and rooms, flames roaring across the ceilings as the whole place went up. Even with the acrid smoke filling the air, she remembered picking up that oh-so-familiar scent combination of leather and gun oil. She’d been too busy fighting for her life to pay any attention to it, but now that she knew Knox had been there, it took on a whole new meaning.
“Do I need to ask which side you were fighting for?” she asked.
“Yours, of course,” he snapped. “I didn’t go to all the trouble of taking a bullet for you in Dallas only to have some bloodsucker do you in. I covered your cute ass the whole time you were in there, then followed you back to Dallas when you left.”
Her cute ass? Normally she would have ripped him a new one for even going there, but for some reason, she decided she’d let it slip this once. There was something she couldn’t let him wiggle free on, though.
“Why do all this?” she asked. “Taking a bullet for me. Staying to fight in that coven nest when you could have easily have gotten killed. Following me halfway across the country. Moving to a city just to be near me. Why would you do all that? You don’t even know me.”
Knox gazed at her for so long she wasn’t sure he was going to answer. And from the expression on his face, it was like she’d just asked him to do a complicated math problem in his head. She held her breath, bracing herself, afraid that when he did reply, he’d confirm her worst fear.
“To be honest, I’m not sure,” he finally admitted. “Like I said, lately it seems like my life is a series of one impulsive decision after the next. I can’t even tell you what I was thinking right before I took that bullet for you. And if you’re looking for why I stayed in LA instead of leaving when I had the chance, I’ve got nothing for you. I’m not even clear on what I expected when I followed you back here. Yeah, I’d hoped to get your help figuring out this werewolf thing, but I don’t know why I thought you’d be the best one to ask.”
There were werewolves in the Pack who were walking, talking, growling lie detectors. Unfortunately, Rachel wasn’t one of them. Yet somehow, she instinctively knew Knox was telling the truth.
“Are we going to talk about me the whole night?” he asked. “Don’t get me wrong. I usually love talking about myself, but I thought I was here tonight to learn about how to be a werewolf. At least, that’s what you said.”
A small part of her didn’t want to stop questioning him. He’d risked his life for her multiple times. There had to be some reason for that beyond the obvious answer she refused to even consider, something that would make sense if she kept digging long enough. But if there was one thing she knew about Knox, it was that he wasn’t the kind of man who stayed in any one place for very long. He’d be here long enough to learn what he thought he needed to know about being a werewolf, then another impulsive decision would have him moving on to the next thing in the next town. What did his motivation for saving her and following her back to Dallas matter?
She set her beer on the coffee table. “Okay, what do you want to know first?”
He leaned back on the couch, arms outstretched along the top to either side of him, beer bottle still in one hand. “How does this whole pack thing work? Is it necessary for a werewolf to be in one, and what happens if no one lets me in their club?”
Rachel laughed at his choice of words but sobered quickly when she realized Knox might actually be serious. “You’re an alpha werewolf like my pack mates and I. While being around other werewolves is good for us—especially right after going through our change—it’s not completely necessary. In fact, I was on my own for almost a year before moving down here and I handled it all right. That said, I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin until I was around my pack mates because I didn’t have to hide what I am from them. It was like finding a whole new family of brothers and sisters.”
“Brothers and sisters?” he echoed. “Does that include Diego? Because when I was following you around in LA, I couldn’t miss the fact that you two were sharing a hotel room.”
Rachel did a double take. That wasn’t jealousy in Knox’s voice, was it? “Yes, brothers and sisters. And Diego is the biggest brother of all of them, meaning he’s as overprotective as they come.”
“Huh. I guess that explains why he wasn’t thrilled when you volunteered to help me out.”
She almost groaned at the reminder. “Exactly. I don’t think he trusts you. And if he picks up on the fact that you used to be a hunter, there’s going to be trouble. I doubt my pack would kill you outright, but if they knew you were at the wedding reception, jail might be the least of your problems.”
“I figured as much. Don’t worry. They won’t hear it from me.” Knox sipped his beer. “You said I’m an alpha werewolf, right?”
She nodded.
“Well, if I’m this large-and-in-charge alpha, why the hell am I a frigging mess when it comes to the werewolf stuff? My damn claws pop out whenever they feel like it and never when I want them to. I wake up almost every morning with blood in my mouth from these stupid fangs. And I have random episodes where I get pissed for no reason at all. On the drive over here, someone cut me off on the 635 loop, and the next thing I know, I’m snarling, growling, and this close to going all road rage on them. I think there’s something wrong with me.”
Rachel knew exactly what Knox was going through because she’d gone through the same ordeal. After her change, the shifts occurred at random—while she was sleeping, while on patrol, even while taking a shower. It didn’t help that she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone. Police psychologists weren’t the people you consulted when you were on your way to becoming a monster.
But it had gotten better, especially after getting to Dallas and joining the Pack. They’d taught her so much about what it meant to be a werewolf and how to accept what she was. Sometimes, she wondered how much easier her transition would have been if she’d had access to that kind of guidance right after she’d changed.
Fortunately, Knox wouldn’t have to deal with the situation on his own like she had. He had her to teach him everything he needed to know.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said, giving him a smile. “All werewolves go through a period of instability after their change. It’s your inner werewolf trying to find its way while your human side figures out how to accommodate the changes. Everything will calm down once you learn a little control.”
“So, how do I learn to control my inner werewolf?”
She almost laughed at the wary expression on his face. What did he think, that she was going to have him walk over a bed of glowing coals?
“Nothing too drastic, I promise.” Climbing off the love seat, she walked around to sit down on the couch beside him, turning his way and crisscrossing her legs. This close to him, the scent of leather and gun oil was stronger and even more comforting, not to mention distracting. “Let’s start with a simple exercise. Give me your hands.”
Knox placed his beer bottle on the table and turned toward her, holding his hands out. She took them in hers, forcing herself to ignore how big, strong, and work-roughened they were, not to mention the little tingle that spiraled through her on contact.
“Okay, now close your eyes and relax,” she said softly. “And before you ask, no, I’m not going to ask you to do the whole wax-on-wax-off thing or anything like that.”
Knox snorted, the tension disappearing from his broad shoulders, a slow smile spreading across his face. Score one for movies and their cultural references.
“We’re going to do a visualization exercise,” she explained, trying to speak in the same calm, soothing voice that Gage had used with her when she’d first done this. “The theory is that it will put you in a relaxed state and allow your inner wolf to come out naturally.”
“Doesn’t sound too difficult,” he said, keeping his eyes closed even as the grin broadened. “But if you start talking like Yoda, I won’t be held responsible for what happens next.”
“Yeah, right. Worried I am,” she said in her best Yoda imitation, closing her eyes and trying to center herself. She wasn’t exactly great at this stuff yet and only hoped she didn’t make a fool of herself. “Now take a deep breath and visualize yourself standing in a tropical rain forest.”
“Which one?”
She peeked one eye open to see if he was messing with her to find him sitting there with his eyes closed, a slightly confused expression on his face. “It doesn’t matter. They’re all the same—calm and tranquil.”
Knox snorted. “Says the woman who’s obviously never spent any time in a tropical rain forest. You try walking around in a soaking wet uniform for two weeks, getting rashes in places you didn’t even know you had, and then tell me how calm and tranquil you feel.”
“Are you screwing with me?” she asked, her gums and fingertips starting to tingle in aggravation. “Because if you don’t want to do this, just tell me.”
He opened his eyes, looking a little chagrined. “I do want to do this. Really. It’s just…well, rain forests aren’t exactly a calming place for me.”
She sighed. “Fine. Would you prefer a hardwood forest in the mountains instead? Maybe in early fall, before the leaves have all changed colors and the air is starting to get cooler?”
“That works.”
“Good. Then close your eyes ag
ain.”
Once he did, she followed suit.
“Now picture yourself in the forest,” she instructed. “Feel the slight breeze on your skin, hear it rustling the leaves in the trees as you walk barefoot along a smooth dirt path, the soft earth warm between your toes.”
“Why am I barefoot?” he asked. “Did I lose my shoes?”
She took a deep breath, biting down on the snarl that threatened to slip out. “You’re walking barefoot because you want to. You’re comfortable and relaxed, remember?”
“Comfortable, relaxed, and barefoot. Got it.”
“Now, I want you to feel the ground under your feet and the breeze on your skin,” she said. “Take deep breaths, inhaling the scent of the clean mountain air, the various trees, and the rich brown soil.”
She continued to set the scene for him, listening as his heart rate and his breathing slowed. On the couch, his knee pressed against hers, and she took a quick peek to see that he looked completely relaxed.
“The feel of the ground beneath your feet and the breeze on your face is so exhilarating you can’t resist the temptation to let go and be free,” she said. “Now, take a deep breath and start running. Your toes are digging into the soft ground, propelling you forward faster than the wind. It feels so incredible you can’t help but laugh.”
Rachel opened her eyes to see Knox grinning, the muscles in his arms and legs tensing and relaxing. Like he was actually running.
“Push yourself to run faster,” she urged. “Feel every muscle in your body straining and reaching for more. The wind is whipping your face and running its fingers through your hair.”
The muscles of his forearms were visibly twisting as his body started to partially shift. Now came the crucial moment where she was either going to get him to let loose a little, or he’d completely rebel against the animal inside him.
“You know you can run faster if you drop down on all fours so you do it without thinking, your fingers digging into the dirt and leaves, flinging you forward in leaps and bounds.”