by Len Webster
Alex’s father placed the lid on the large plastic container and grinned. “Not at all. Anything else you need assembling? My wife and Alexandra will help bring in what you have in your truck.”
Savannah blinked. “Y’all wanna help?”
“Of course,” Alex’s mother said.
Her college roommate wrapped a hand around Alex’s arm. “Yeah, you’re so blessed, Alex. You’re already the best roommate ever.”
Savannah and her Southern charm did wonders for Alex’s parents. They loved her, and Alex was relieved she had a sweet and fun roommate for her freshman year at Duke. Alex’s father finished building Savannah’s bookshelves—she brought two with her for all the books she intended on reading for pleasure when she wasn’t studying.
Their dorm room was a lot larger than Alex had imagined. And with the help of her father, they moved around the furniture so they had more space. Alex had her father move her desk against the empty wall that would have equations and theories all over it throughout the semester. While Savannah began to decorate her side of the room, Alex’s parents had gone out and gotten everyone lunch—as well as a futon, a few cushioned stools, two extra corkboards, a small table, and even a few wicker cubes for Savannah’s bookshelves.
In the end, Alex and Savannah’s dorm room was decorated with a gray and purple color scheme. It was spacious and light. It felt more like an apartment than a dorm room, and Alex was thankful that her parents helped her roommate move in. There was no way Savannah could have done it all alone, and Alex was happy she didn’t have to.
“All right, everything looks good,” her father said, taking in the room. “We should probably head back to the hotel and let you finish up. I’m sure there’s orientation stuff going on that you and Savannah probably want to go to.”
Alex walked over to her dad and tightly wrapped her arms around him, knowing that she’d miss him while she was in college. “Thanks for helping Sav move in, Dad.”
“I couldn’t let her do it on her own.” Her father cupped the back of her head and pressed a kiss on her hair. “Whenever you want to come home for the weekend, you come home, all right?”
“Yes, Dad,” she said into his chest.
Then he set his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back. “You have the credit card and the debit card. Anything you need for your classes, get them on the cards. Your flights, too. I don’t want you to get a job or think you need to get one. I’ll make sure you always have money when you need it.”
“Dad,” she said, trying to fight off his generosity.
He shook his head. “No, Alexandra. No jobs during college.”
“But—”
“Alexandra, no unnecessary jobs for you. I want you to concentrate on your classes. I want you to think about getting your Ph.D. at MIT after Duke. I want you to get your dream. Focus on school.”
She blinked back her tears as she glanced over at her mother who brushed her own tears away. Then she stepped toward Alex and cupped her cheeks. “I know it hurts right now, Alexandra, but he’ll forgive you.”
Evan.
Alex winced.
The pain returned with a vengeance. She was just glad that Savannah had left the dorm room to video chat with her father and show him Duke.
Alex nodded. She didn’t want to remind them that Evan’s biggest fear was the people he loved and trusted the most in his life leaving him.
Abandoning him the way his mother, father, and brother had.
Just like Alex had.
“I love you both,” she said, hoping they’d take the hint and not mention Evan or what she had done.
It was still raw.
The betrayal still stung.
She hadn’t just let Evan down, but she had also let down herself.
Alex hugged her parents one more time before they said their I love yous and left Alex alone in her dorm room.
Tomorrow, they’d be on their way back to Massachusetts.
Tomorrow, she’d really be alone.
Without her parents.
And without Evan.
When she was sure her parents wouldn’t return, she walked over to her small desk and rummaged through the cardboard box to find the frame. She pulled it out and glanced at the way Evan smiled down at her.
The way she smiled at him.
Little did she know that day was the very start.
The day her feelings for Evan began to take a turn toward longing.
Toward loving him.
It was after the Red Sox had won against the Colorado Rockies.
When he had stood up for her against his brother.
The night he drove to the New York state line and parked his car by the welcome sign.
Sitting there, she was confused with the strange emotions in her chest.
Now she knew it was her love for him developing into bounds it shouldn’t.
Alex pressed her fingers against the cool glass, knowing that Evan Gilmore would never look at her that way again.
A ringing sound had her shifting her gaze from the photo to her phone on her desk.
On her screen was his name.
He was calling her.
And it made her wonder if he knew she was thinking of him.
Missing him.
Feeling regret from hurting him.
Alex set down the frame and picked up her phone. She was tempted to answer it. To give in and plead for his forgiveness. To crumple under the guilt and be whatever he needed her to be.
But she clenched her eyes shut to end her vision of it.
The ringing was deafening in her ears, but as long as she didn’t see Evan’s name, she would be okay. She would imagine someone else was calling her.
Someone else desperate for an explanation.
Someone else she had stood up in an LA ice cream shop for hours upon hours.
But it wasn’t.
It was Evan.
When the ringing stopped, she opened her eyes and let out a shaky breath. She needed to know. More than she needed freedom. She needed to know he missed her. That there could be a chance for redemption someday.
Swallowing hard to fight off her tears, Alex unlocked her phone and accessed her voicemail messages. She sucked in a deep breath and began to listen to his voice.
Voicemail one: AJ, I’m here at the ice cream shop. Your milkshake is probably warm, but that’s okay, I’ll get you another one. Did your battery die? Can you let me know you’ve landed and you’re safe?
Voicemail two: Okay. Are you stuck in traffic? Did your flight have an unexpected landing at another airport? Come on, AJ, my ass is sore sitting here. I wanna take you to Santa Monica before it gets dark.
Voicemail three: AJ, I’m getting really worried. You’ve never missed any of my calls. And on the rare occasion you do, you always call me back. It’s one of the things I love about you. Just call me. Please. Please, just call me.
Voicemail four: How could you do this to me, AJ? I waited for you! I fucking waited for you. How could you do this to me?
She pulled the phone away from her ear, not wanting to hear more. Voicemail number four was where the Alex she thought she could be collapsed in on herself.
She had been Alex for a mere two days.
All it took was a simple voice message and she was AJ all over again.
And more specifically, she was still the AJ in love with her best friend
10 Ne
neon
EVAN
Senior year of high school
Kyle: Where are you? I went home so I could talk to you, and you weren’t there. I went next door, and Alexi wasn’t there either. Clara told me you’re with her. Where have you taken her, Evan? I don’t trust you with her when you’re that angry.
Evan glanced over at his passenger side to find AJ holding
the slushies they picked up less than a mile from the New York state line. They were almost there. The green sign just visible in the darkness.
“You really shouldn’t be looking at your phone while you’re driving, Evan,” AJ lectured as she set one of the slushies between her thighs and grabbed his phone from him. Evan didn’t fight her, and she read his brother’s message. “He’s mad.”
His eyes focused on the road as he signaled right and turned off I-95. Then he parked his car, flipped on the overhead light, removed his seat belt, and turned his body to face his best friend. The concern on her face had guilt doubling in his chest. “He’ll get over it.”
“I’ve never seen him like that. He’s never spoken to me that way before.” AJ set his cell phone on her thigh as she handed him his slushie and removed hers from between her legs.
Setting his frozen beverage in the cup holder, Evan pressed his back into the seat and took in the ‘WELCOME TO NEW YORK’ sign. Next time, they’d travel farther south. Next time, his brother wouldn’t yell at AJ. Next time, his brother wouldn’t call Evan’s best friend stupid. “Don’t let him get to you, AJ. You’re not stupid.”
She let out a small laugh and then took a long sip of her slushie. “I know I’m not stupid, Evan. My GPA is anything but an indicator of my stupidity. I just don’t want him to hate us.”
“He hates me. He could never hate you.”
Because he loves you.
“I don’t know, Evan. He could start now.”
“Hey,” he breathed, reaching out and wrapping a hand around her arm. “Trust me when I tell you that you’re my brother’s entire world. When he’s pitching, he looks over at you to make sure you’re there watching. You’re his biggest supporter. Kyle is selfish, AJ. I know it all too well. If he’s mad at anyone, it’s me. He’s not wrong about me putting you in a position that could get you hurt. But I made sure I had a way out. I always do.”
AJ smiled at him as she set her drink in the holder. “I know you do. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think you’d have a way out. He should be mad at me, too.”
Evan pulled his hand away from her arm and let it fall to his side. “Nothing is going to change between you and my brother. Give him a few days and he’ll get over it.”
He peeked over to find AJ staring out at the sign. “Okay.”
“AJ.”
“Yeah,” she said, eyes still on the green sign.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked as she turned her head, and the light above them caused her green eyes to shimmer.
“That’s a question.”
He groaned. “Such a smartass.”
AJ laughed. “What’s your question?”
Insecurity suddenly plagued him. If he couldn’t be honest with AJ, there was no one else he could trust. And he knew their friendship was an open book. There were no secrets between them—except for how Evan’s brother felt about her. But that was not Evan’s secret to share. For as long as possible, he wanted to protect his best friend from Kyle’s feelings. His brother had it all, and his feelings for AJ might instantly change, and Evan didn’t want Kyle hurting her. Never in his life did he imagine her loving Kyle as anything more, but he couldn’t risk it. Not if it could drive a wedge between them. Evan was determined not to let his brother ruin his friendship with AJ.
So he had to know.
That she wasn’t going to abandon him the way his family had.
“If there ever came a time when you had to choose between Kyle and me, who would you pick?”
Her brows met in confusion at his question. She blinked several times, then said in a small voice, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “I’m serious. There might be a time when you have to choose, and I wanna prepare myself in case it isn’t me you’d choose.”
“Evan.” She let out a heavy exhale before she unclicked her belt, turned and found the handle. AJ then pulled on it and got out of his car, not bothering to close the door as he watched her walk to the middle of the road and stand completely still.
He quickly got out of the car and closed the door behind him. Evan ran toward her to find her staring up at the road sign. Then she turned around and faced him with a small smile on her face.
“Put your feet there and there,” she instructed, pointing at the exact spots she wanted his feet positioned.
Evan glanced down, unsure of what she was planning. He lifted his chin to see her stretched smile that had his heart jumping. AJ always had the best smile. And right now, it was the most stunning smile he’d ever seen on a person.
“Look at your feet.” And he did, still confused as she said, “You’re in two places at once.”
Evan flinched the moment she grasped his hands. She gently squeezed them. “Okay?”
AJ let out a soft giggle. “Evan Gilmore, if there ever came a time when I have to pick between you and your brother, I will pick you. I will pick you every time without hesitation. You’re my best friend. Now, look at my shoes.”
He shifted his gaze to find her once side by side feet now mimicked his.
One foot in Connecticut.
One foot in New York.
Just like Evan.
“I will choose you, Evan. Even if you’re in two places at once, I’d find a way to be in those two exact places. I might have grown up knowing Kyle, and I might watch every one of his games, but he’s not my best friend. You are. He’s not the one who stood up for me more than once at school because I’m a science geek. Kyle doesn’t know me the way you do, and I never want him to. So no matter what state we’re in, if we’re in just one or two places at the same time, I’m going to be with you. That’s never, ever going to change. I promise.”
And that was the very moment AJ Parker became Evan’s everything right in his life.
So right in so many ways that Evan had to stop himself from overthinking this moment and just embrace it.
“Get your sorry ass out of bed!” Shouting after the sound of a door bursting open had Evan rolling over onto his stomach. “Seriously, Evan. Get up!”
He groaned and threw his arm in the air, swatting the voice away. “No. I don’t go to church on Sundays.”
“I’d be concerned if you went to church at all. Now get up. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for almost two days. We need to talk about Alexi.”
The mention of his best friend had his eyes opening, staring at the blue wall. He rolled over to find the last person he wanted in his bedroom. His brother was leaning against the dresser with his arms folded over his tailor-made dress shirt that cost more than people spent on groceries in a week.
Evan sat up, rolling his eyes at the Rolex on his brother’s wrist. It was flamboyant. He remembered the time when his brother was making shit kind of money with the Red Sox. Now, he was the highest paid player in the Major League. Sometimes, Evan wanted to remind his brother just where he came from. All the things he didn’t have that he now took for granted.
“I’m not talking about AJ with you.”
Kyle’s jaw clenched, hating the nickname Evan called his best friend. “That’s not her name.”
“Neither is Alexi. She’s not six, Kyle. She’s seventeen. She’s still underage,” he reminded.
His brother’s face paled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t?”
“You. Don’t.”
Evan let out a short laugh as he got out of bed and walked toward his walk-in closet. He reached for the closest hanger and removed a black T-shirt. All summer he had slept in shorts, and last night was no exception. Exiting the closet, he slipped on the shirt and returned to stand by his bed.
“I know you’re in love with a seventeen-year-old.”
“Don’t,” Kyle warned. “Don’t say it like it’s just some random schoolgirl. Alexi is not some r
andom girl. Don’t make it sound disgusting and wrong.”
“It is wrong!” Evan shouted. “It’s wrong for you to be in love with my best friend. You’re twenty-four, Kyle. There are plenty of dumb bimbos out there who you can score.”
“The age of consent is sixteen!”
Disgust roiled in his stomach. “Don’t try to justify it. She’s still a minor in any other state. She’s still a minor when it comes to drinking. And she’s still a minor in the media’s eye. That’s why you haven’t told her. You know that the fucking papers will turn it all around and make you sound like you like little girls. That’s why you’re waiting. You don’t care about AJ. You care that she’s going to be turning eighteen soon.
“Then, when you’re done screwing her over, she’s going to look like the bad guy. So don’t come in here and lecture me. You talk about me putting her in unsafe situations, yet you’re the worst situation for her to be involved with. She’s not one of the women you sleep with. She genuinely cares about you, and you’re taking advantage of that. Leave her alone, Kyle. Don’t fuck up her life.”
His brother’s arms untangled and fell to his sides. “Me? I fuck up her life? You’re the one making her do stupid shit that’ll have the people of Boston hating her.”
Evan winced as the rage bubbled in his chest. The thought of anyone directing hate toward AJ had him seething and balling his fists. As hard as he tried to remain calm, he couldn’t. Not when it came to AJ. “She’s only in the media because of you!”
“I didn’t think—”
“Exactly!” Evan roared. “You didn’t think when you hugged her or celebrated with her. You never think when you walk down the street with her. You made her ‘Little Miss Red Sox,’ and she hates that! She only tolerates it for you because she sees you as a brother!”
“Fuck you, Evan. I came here to have a civil conversation about Alexi, but you’re impossible. So I’m going to just get to the point.” Kyle took several steps until he was in Evan’s face. His brother was taller, wider in the shoulders, and could definitely put Evan in the ground. But that didn’t mean Evan would give up. He’d fight Kyle if he had to. “Stop putting her safety at risk. You claim you’re her best friend, yet you let her do shit that could get her hurt. Noel and Clara might trust you, but I honestly don’t. She’s their only daughter, and they treat you like you’re their own. Brother or not, if you so much as hurt her, I will come after you.” Then Kyle stormed out of Evan’s room, his footsteps traveling down the stairs echoing in the empty house.