He nodded. “What else?”
“Well, some believe it represents destruction, some say creation and rebirth ... and it’s usually associated with passion.”
“Exactly. Final question before I leave you. Where is your passion, Maggie?”
I squirmed a little and flushed, desperately trying to keep the images of Gavin hidden in the back of my mind.
“I…”
“No…” he cut me off. “That is not a question you answer to me, it’s a question you answer to yourself.”
Danny laughed and stood up. He took the bag of small dark gray granules and spent several seconds casting them all around me in the grass, and then he moved away, walking back toward the trail and out of my sight behind the tree. I began trying to work it out. According to the shadow on the sundial, I had only moments.
This trial threw me off—I’d expected to have to find a blazing symbol cleverly hidden somewhere. I wasn’t prepared to sit here in front of it trying to figure out how to make it work. I knew the key was the same as the other trials—figuring out how all of this tied together.
I still didn’t know exactly what the tiny granules were, but after seeing him toss them in the grass, I suspected they were seeds—I really hoped it wasn’t gunpowder.
My mind drifted, momentarily, to what Gavin did that day at the beach. He forced the dandelions to go through their life cycle in a few seconds. Did I need to do the same? I thought about Danny’s question: what was I passionate about?
I’m passionate about art, and I’m passionate about the garden, but I’m the most passionate about swimming, I thought. I concentrated on those things and pictured each in my mind, one at a time. I relived the feeling I had before I hit the water at the state championships, and I thought about touching the wall first and seeing my time.
Nothing happened, but I knew why. I was still holding back.
I felt passionately about my friends and family, and I focused on Doug. Out of nowhere, the images of Doug in my nightmare flashed in my mind again and it filled me with anger. I didn’t reach up to wipe the tears. I let them flow—they were honest and I liked that. If I could help it, I wouldn’t allow anyone else I cared about to get hurt. When I opened my eyes nothing had changed and the sundial read noon. But I didn’t panic. Instead I concentrated on the warmth of the sun caressing my shoulders. I thought about my family, and how much I loved them. An image of Aunt May floated through my memories, of Candace opening her eyes in the hospital, of Mom when she sold her first vase, and of Mitch uncovering Dad’s ’67 fastback for the first time. My heart beat even faster.
Then I thought of him. I remembered how I felt when he held me at my birthday party, of his smile each time our eyes met by the lake. I saw stars for a moment, and felt dizzy. I was afraid to bring Gavin into the front of my mind with so many Fae close by, so I focused only on my feelings for him and I felt the familiar tingling in my stomach and knees—my heart raced even faster. I love Gavin—he makes me weak, and he makes me happy.
I opened my eyes and didn’t recognize where I was. The tree was still there, but the color around me was wrong. Everywhere, flowers bloomed: red poppies, with yellow and orange highlights. They were radiant and bright—they looked like they were on fire. I felt the breath catch in my throat.
Directly in front of me, just inside the shade of the canopy, was the Fire sign. Just like the one in the gazebo, it contained an intricate triantán symbol for Fire and inside that, a spear symbol. It shimmered and glowed bright blue. It wasn’t a flame like I expected it to be, but I could feel it tingling on my skin, giving off heat. I put the red stone in place, and immediately it seemed to glow brighter than the Earth or the Air stones had.
When I finally looked up, Danny stood next to the tree, grinning at me, his intense stare replaced by a look of satisfaction.
“Oh, my gosh, what is that?” I nodded toward the sign.
“Technically, it’s nothing more than ionized gas—plasma. Some call it St. Elmo’s Fire.”
“I’ve seen an old movie with that name, but I didn’t know about this.”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“It can occur naturally when there is enough static electricity in the atmosphere, say during an intense lightning storm. It’s like the tiny blue flash you see in the dark when you shock yourself. On this scale, though, it typically manifests as an orb or ball on or near an object, like a roof, a ship’s mast, or the wings of a plane, but you’re producing this one.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are Fire inclined and I presume you’re also well on your way to being the first Maebown in more than two-thousand years.”
I suddenly felt the weight of the world on me as I drifted back to my conversation with Gavin and what he’d told me—that Maebowns have only existed when there was a need for them, and that was never good. I should be happy, I thought. My role was important and necessary, but it also terrified me—the word sacrifice echoed in my brain like a cymbal crash. I refused to let my mind go there. I wouldn’t be, as Mom said, mawkish on an occasion like this. So I took a deep breath and managed a smile.
My heart rate slowed and I focused on being happy. I’ll think about the rest of this when I’m alone—really alone.
“Do you know what you did to create the Fire symbol?”
“I was honest and unguarded about my feelings.”
“Yes, your passions run deep but that is only part of it. Fire is the energy of life. To be inclined to the Fire element means that you understand yourself. Your abilities will grow as you develop a greater understanding of what it means to be passionate about living.”
“Why the seeds?”
“Do you mean why couldn’t you just create flowers, or why red poppies?”
“Why did I require seeds?”
“Maggie, neither you nor I can create life. As you’ve done here, we can speed up the germination of plants, and we can even direct the energy of life to make things like flowers thrive. We can calm and heal people, animals, but that doesn’t mean that we can circumvent the natural order of life. All living things in this world come from something—even the Fae. It’s also true that all living things of the physical world, regardless of how beautiful, come to an end. That is the trade off for experiencing this miraculous existence.”
I thought again about what happened to the previous Maebowns, and I couldn’t avoid yet another question I have never wanted to think about. I’ve never given much thought to growing old, and I’d only superficially considered death. I knew it would eventually happen, but I ignored the certainty of it—it had never seemed real to me.
“Is there nothing past the physical existence?”
He smiled and looked directly at me. “There must be, I think. The Fae know from our existence in the non-physical realm that Naeshura never ends, though it does transform. If I understand your question correctly, you’re wondering what all humans wonder—what happens to you beyond this life, or put another way, what becomes of your soul. To which, I’m afraid, I cannot say. I am Fae, but I am not omniscient—none of us are, and that is important to remember. We are not gods, Maggie. I cannot give life to that which doesn’t have it and I cannot reverse death—many of my kind have agonized trying. Simply put, I don’t have all the answers.
“I do know that your corporeal bodies have a limited time before they wear out, but your energy, your Naeshura, cannot end. While my kind has often debated what happens when humans cease to exist in physical form, none of us really knows. There are many things about our own existence that we don’t know. In truth, we don’t know what actually happens when one of us ceases to exist in our natural form, and though rare, it does happen. The variety and diversity in our beliefs is not that dissimilar to the variety and diversity in human beliefs, nor are the passions that seem to be connected to them.”
As my heart calmed down to a normal rate, the Fire sign disappeared.
“It’s gone,” I said, a little sad.
I assumed that meant I wasn’t tied to Fire like I was to Air—there was no natural connection.
“I would ask if you have any additional questions, but I know your Treoraí will be able to answer them. So you have my congratulations, Miss O’Shea. Farwell for now—I have a motion hearing to win. Good day.”
With that, he transformed into his natural state and quickly moved away, but this time, I could see him. I could see the shimmer of him in the air, just slightly reflective, as he moved off to the south. I quickly pushed that image to the back of my mind when I felt the other Fae nearby. I grabbed the sundial, and took in just how beautiful the poppies were before I set off the way I’d come.
I was halfway across the meadow when I felt a Fae behind me. It was coming to me and getting very close. I fought the urge to turn around, until I heard footsteps on the path.
“Gavin,” I said as I turned.
“No!”
I shuddered violently and gasped for air when my eyes found Chalen. He was in his younger form, smiling menacingly at me. Caught in the gaze of his cataract-filled eyes, I felt alone and exposed out here by myself in the open. While there had been dozens earlier, there weren’t any other Fae close at the moment.
“Congratulations, Miss O’Shea. Most impressive—I see you’re on your way.”
“Thank you,” I muttered, trying to force away the fear that pressed down on me.
“What’s wrong?” He smiled even broader, lowering his chin to look at me through his grizzled brow.
“What do you want? Gavin will be here…”
He cut me off, the words slithering out of his dry, thin, wrinkled lips. “I just wanted to talk since you refuse to visit me. So rude, I think. Even May dropped by on occasion.”
“She was nicer than I am.” I refused to be bullied, but I shuddered again when his eyelids slowly blinked over his dull, milky eyes. “And could you please stop the fear thing?” I asked firmly, surprised by my own confidence.
Instantly the fear dropped away, at least the fear he produced, and he nodded.
“Sorry, old habits die hard,” he said, dragging out the words.
I felt trembling in my knees and fought to keep it from spreading. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. He studied me, puzzled.
“You really do have a lot of self-control, don’t you?” he mused.
“I have my moments.”
“I have a proposition for you, Miss O’Shea. We need to have a conversation. It’s very important.”
“I…” was all I could muster.
Out of nowhere, I saw the images of my nightmare again—they flooded back. I could hear Doug screaming, I could see the black beasts tearing him apart, and I saw the tennis shoe. I took a step back when Chalen smiled. Oh my god, I’d been careless and he’d seen my nightmare. I was suddenly terrified for Doug.
“I don’t want to talk to you, now or ever!” I snapped
I wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn’t get away—he was infinitely faster. Anger took over. He was doing it to me again, making me feel powerless, but I wasn’t powerless. I felt the air around him, I could feel his body in my invisible hands—I was prepared to bash him into the ground if he moved toward me. He smiled again.
“And what do you think you’re doing?” he growled at me, curling back his lips to reveal a mouth full of razor sharp teeth.
Suddenly the fear was back, stronger than ever, but I wouldn’t let my defenses down. I forced myself to relax, and I returned his smile. No, I told myself, I was through being afraid, and determined to stand my ground—there was no choice—I was alone. Not for long, though.
That instant I felt another Fae moving quickly toward us. I worried for a moment it might be another Unseelie, but in a flash of color and light Gavin appeared between us. He stood with his feet apart, his hands open at his side, and every muscle in his body tensed, bulged, and looked bigger than I’d ever seen them.
The energy between them increased as they sized each other up. It was similar to the tension I’d felt between Sara and Chalen. But now, with my awakened senses, it seemed more palpable, and made my hair stand on end. I still couldn’t tell what they said to one another, but I did sense other Fae moving toward us. Just as quickly as he appeared, Chalen returned to his natural form and shot north through the trees and past my ability to sense him.
TWENTY-THREE
FOREBODING
Gavin’s eyes followed Chalen’s retreat and he turned so that I could see his profile. I’d never seen him this angry before—the look on his face was fierce, his muscles taut. I put my hand on his shoulder and immediately flinched—he was burning up. His skin was almost too hot to bear. His face relaxed and he turned to me.
“I’m so sorry. I should have gotten here sooner, but I was in the middle of a group of people when I sensed it. I had to find a place to disappear without drawing attention.”
“No it’s okay—I’m fine. He was just doing his thing—it’s the same thing he always does.”
“What did he say? I was too far away to make it out.”
“He told me that we needed to talk—he said he had a proposition for me.”
“Did he say what it was about?”
“No, I wigged out before he could and…”
“And you had him in your grip. I felt it when I got here. Maggie, your ability to control Air is powerful, but you cannot be that foolish again. He is quite old and much more powerful than you—at least right now.”
“Right now?”
“I think you are a Maebown, Maggie. I’m nearly certain now. In time your ability to balance all four elements and control Aether will make you formidable, even for us. You’re not ready for that yet. And please understand, if you attack a Fae, they will kill you, and under our law, they’d have the right. You have to be careful.”
“I will if he leaves me the hell alone.” I said with a flush of anger.
Gavin finally smiled, apparently amused by my attempt to give him a fierce look.
“You said the thing he always does, you mean compelling fear?”
“Yes!”
“I know he did it at the party. But I … I didn’t realize … at your party, I thought … well, I assumed he did it to get at Sara.”
The pauses in Gavin’s voice were odd—it was the first time he didn’t know exactly what to say.
“No, he does it all the time. That’s why I can’t stand him.” Well, one of the many reasons I can’t stand him.
His expression morphed to concern almost instantly.
“What else happened, Maggie? Tell me everything.”
“Not much, really … he. … he just showed up. Then he congratulated me in the creepy way he does every time I pass, and reamed me for not visiting him—I freaked out when I realized he saw my nightmare.”
“Nightmare?”
“Yes. The other afternoon, when I came home from the hospital after Candace woke up. I dreamt that Doug and I were on the second island, and the Unseelie tore him apart. They were these half-wolf and half-bear things—it was a terrible nightmare.”
“Maggie, do you remember the dream well enough to let me see?”
I shuddered, but nodded.
I closed my eyes, holding his large warm hand, and played back the dream in my mind to the point when the beast with Chalen’s eyes turned to me and bared its teeth. I opened my eyes and looked up. Rage consumed Gavin’s face, as much as before.
“That wasn’t a dream, Maggie. It was too vivid, too powerful. The beasts I saw in your mind are a favorite of the Unseelie. I scarcely think you would have dreamt about them, so precisely, without having seen one first. You were forcibly compelled to see it. Where were you when you dreamt this?” He demanded, making me nervous.
“In my bedroom.”
“Trespass,” he seethed, staring past me.
We walked back to the car, almost ran, and he never let go of my hand. He
drove home nearly as fast and recklessly as he’d driven the other night in the Thunderbird. He passed cars in the double yellow zones and in the curves. We saw two different police cars on the way, but neither of them seemed to notice the howling Maserati fly by, another benefit of knowing how to glamour, undoubtedly.
I didn’t say a word. I just stared out the window of the car. Gavin intended to face Chalen, and I was afraid for him. Tension seized my stomach, and everything felt ominous. A wall of black clouds swiftly moved in from the west along the horizon. Lightning danced and flashed along the storm’s black face. Gavin glared at it defiantly.
After we drove through the gate, Gavin stopped at the top of the hill near the turnoff for Sara’s cottage. It was little more than a dirt trail that wound down the hill and to the other side of the cove where her empty cottage sat. On the opposite side of the drive, a similar path wound up the hill to the caretaker’s cottage. Two huge boulders sat in the middle of it, just feet from us. The drive, overgrown and nearly invisible, had sat unused for years. With Chalen up there, it was best left that way.
Gavin handed me the keys.
“Drive down to the Cottage and wait for me there.”
“No, I’m going with you!”
“Maggie…” he smiled with a soft, warm look on his face, “…you can’t. This might be dangerous. I want you to drive down like I asked and wait for me there, please.”
I started to protest, but he begged me. The amber flecks in his eyes were so intense I couldn’t say no—I could only nod my head. When I threw my arms around him, he pulled me in and moved his lips close to my ear.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be alright,” he whispered, “I’m older and more powerful than Chalen—I’ll clean his clock, as they say, if he tries anything.”
He squeezed me gently and then pulled back a little, smiling into my face. My heart raced from being this close to him. Lightning cracked overhead and the sound of thunder made me shudder.
“Just relax,” he said calmly, in little more than a husky whisper.
He was so close I could feel his breath on my face, and without thinking I leaned forward and kissed him. For a split second he didn’t do anything, and I thought for an exquisite moment that he would kiss me back. Sparks ignited in every nerve throughout my body. The sensation was more powerful than I’d felt in my life. A second later, though, awkwardness replaced the sparks as he gently pushed me away and stared at me.
The Steward Page 28