by A. E. Murphy
What just happened?
“Umm… what was that all about?”
“Just some company calling. Probably wanting to help me claim back my PPI,” he laughs and I immediately know he’s lying. “Nothing to worry about.”
He backs out of the parking space, glancing at Jeanine’s car as we pass. We’re so lucky to have her only an hour away; she’s always eager to help out when we need it.
“Nothing to worry about?” I repeat, tasting his words on my tongue and willing them to actually banish my worry.
I don’t want to be paranoid but there is only one reason I can think of that he’d hide his phone from me for the first time in our entire relationship and I doubt it’s because of a surprise party. If it was a text message, I’d understand his hesitancy to let me see it, not that I’d try. I’ve never tried. But because it’s a phone call, surely if it was my mother calling to discuss a secret that I’m unaware of, she’d act natural so as to not make me suspicious.
Unless it’s a venue calling and not somebody we know. In which case I can understand his hesitancy to allow me to answer the call.
My head hurts. Nothing about this is right.
“So, I thought we could go and grab a quick bite to eat before going to see that movie you’ve been going on about for months.”
This perks my mood up a little bit, though not enough for me to fully get excited as my mind is a torment of questions. I don’t want to be the type of woman that searches his phone, destroying his privacy because of my own paranoia. I should trust him. If I can’t trust him then I shouldn’t be with him.
“That’s great. I’m starving.” I force a smile, not that he sees it as his eyes are on the road.
“Good.” His hand leaves the wheel and finds his phone in the hollow pocket. I hear it beep as he turns it off and the panic in my heart sets a deep scar. “Let’s go.”
“I want popcorn.”
He frowns; he has such an aversion to it. “Fine.”
“And nachos with melted cheese.”
“Really?” His disgust amuses me.
“Yep.”
“Your funeral.”
I blow out a breath and stare out of the window for a long moment. “Who was on the phone?”
“Nobody, as I said.”
I give him a sideways glance, hoping my disbelief projects onto him. “So why’d you turn your phone off?”
“Because I don’t want our evening to be disturbed. I turned yours off too.”
He did? I pull it from my handbag and stare at the black, unresponsive screen. “When?”
“Back at the house.”
“What about the kids? Jeanine?”
“They’ll be fine. I have my secondary phone on vibrate.” He pats the breast of his jacket. “Against my heart.”
My panic dissipates as I recognise my ridiculousness. He wasn’t doing it to be sneaky. He was doing it purely because he didn’t see anything wrong with it. It’s me making an issue.
He walked through fire for me. I remind myself and allow the worry to lift from me like a wet blanket from my skin.
“I’m sorry for creating. I’m such a drama queen. I have no reason not to trust you.” I place my hand on his thigh and trail my fingers up to his crotch. He shudders and shifts in his seat. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
For a few seconds he says nothing. I put it down to the fact I’m teasing him whilst he drives, definitely not the safest move, so I stop groping him through his trousers. His groan of disappointment makes me laugh. The slow speed with which his cock grows along his thigh makes me laugh harder.
“You’re dealing with this before we eat. You know I’ll be hard for hours otherwise.”
“I might give you a sneaky hand job in the cinema if you’re lucky.”
“So romantic.” He takes my hand and places it back on his solid groin. “Ugh, that feels great.”
“I’m hardly touching you.”
“Well, it still feels really good.” I slap his thigh and cross my arms, smiling with mischief when he hisses through his teeth and rubs his thigh with his fingertips. “I forget sometimes what a bitch you can be.”
“Don’t insult me. I have the vagina, remember?”
“Please, you couldn’t deny me sex even if you wanted to. I’m too good at persuading you.”
He’s not wrong. “I’m so happy we’re getting to do this.”
“Me too.”
We share a smile.
“So, where are we eating?”
“There’s a deli place open around the corner; we’ll just grab something quick. The movie starts in half an hour. Unless you want to eat afterwards?”
“Hell no!” I cry, his suggestion abhorrent. “Then I can’t have popcorn.”
“Oh dear,” he remarks sarcastically. “How tragic.”
“What is it with you and popcorn?”
“What is it with you and broccoli?”
“Broccoli is vile.”
“You’re a chef. You shouldn’t hate broccoli. I’m certain that disliking such a basic vegetable is against the rules.”
“Good point. I won’t tell Kerim.” I shudder at the thought that he’d find something else to yell at me about.
“How are things going at work? We’ve not had chance to speak much this week.”
“Great.” I know I moan about it a lot but my answer is honest. “I love it, all of it, even the stressful parts.”
“Are you learning a lot?”
“I’m trying, though it’s hard to learn when you’re constantly stuck in one area of the kitchen.”
He frowns thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s waiting for you to take initiative?”
His point is an excellent one. “I’ll try to be bold.”
“You can do this. You’re the best cook I know, which is fortunate for me because I love food and I get to keep you.”
He’s too sweet.
We step into the little deli shop and a sweet, peppery scent lingers in the air. As we peruse the many fresh items of food, I hear a high pitched, feminine voice squawk, “Nathan?”
Nathan tenses beside me. “Hey, Millie.”
“Millie?” I ask, one brow raised as the woman behind the counter comes around and envelopes him in a hug that is far too familiar.
Her pretty, silvery blonde hair is tied back into a bun and hidden beneath a hair net. She’s wearing far too much makeup.
“I didn’t know you worked here,” he states, still making no effort to introduce me after finally releasing her from an awkward one-armed embrace, the other arm remaining tense by his side.
“Yeah, I just started last month. It’s been,” she blows out a breath through her lips, “four years?”
“Hmm,” he agrees and clears his throat.
“What are you doing here? Are you busy? I finish soon; it’d be great to catch up.” Her eyes finally come to me standing close to his side. “Oh I’m sorry, are you waiting to be served?”
“We were just grabbing something quick to eat before hitting the cinema.” Nathan interjects and steps back so as to put some distance between them.
“Oh, I apologise. I didn’t realise you were together. Perhaps we can catch up another time?” She moves back around the counter and I’m grateful for the space between them. I’m not liking the chemistry flowing here; it’s too familiar. “I was so sorry to hear about Caleb.”
“A tragedy,” Nathan responds as my heart flutters with mourning.
“Do you see much of his kid? He left one behind didn’t he?”
“Actually…” I start but Nathan cuts me off as if I hadn’t even started to speak. “Yes.” He looks at me. “Do you know what you want?”
“Just a chicken salad wrap,” I bite out, feeling frustrated at his ignorance. I doubt I’ll eat it all as I’m not particularly hungry.
“So how long have you two been together?”
“Just over two years,” I respond. “We’re engaged.”
“How lovely.” He
r words seem flippant and disinterested. “How’s your mother?”
“Fine.” Nathan takes my hand in his. “I’ll have the same as Gwen.”
“Sure.” The other girl behind the counter sets about making it as Millie handles the payments.
“It’s so great to see you again,” Millie sighs, looking lovingly at Nathan. Yes… fucking lovingly. Her eyes are big, blue and round. She looks like Bambi. I feel almost threatened. I’ve never been in a position with Nathan where I’ve felt threatened.
“Yes.” Nathan gives my hand a squeeze as his lips touch my temple. “We’re on a schedule though…”
“You always were punctual,” she giggles and places one wrapped wrap into a plastic carrier bag. “Oh!” She quickly scribbles something onto a piece of torn receipt. When she hands it to my fiancé and I see that it’s her number, I turn a mixture of red with anger and green with envy. Especially when he folds the stupid thing and pockets it. “Call me and we’ll get together. It’d be nice to catch up.”
“Sure,” Nathan responds and takes the bag that she holds out. “See you later.”
See you later?
Maybe I’m being irrational but can I kill her?
Nathan’s hand leaves mine and presses against the small of my back as he leads me from the store.
“Well, how nice of you to introduce me,” I snarl the second we cross the street.
He seems surprised. “To who?”
He’s kidding? “To Millie.”
“Oh, sorry, I was just… in shock.” He frowns and his hand goes to the breast pocket of his jacket where her phone number is. “It’s been a long time since I saw her. She looks different.”
She looks different? “Okay, you’re going to need to start explaining or I’m going to grow increasingly paranoid. Who was she?”
“An old friend.” He presses the button on his keys and the car unlocks. I climb into the passenger seat before pressing him by asking, “An old friend?”
“Yes, she used to hang around on the park near my parents’ house when we were kids.” He smiles wistfully. “Back when Caleb was having good days and I wasn’t forced to stay with…” His sentence trails off but I know what he’s referring to. “She’s the first girl I... umm.”
“Fancied?” My heart tingles with envy even more powerfully than before.
“Had sex with.” He finishes honestly as though speaking to me about the weather.
My entire body stills with panic and alarm bells blare in my head. “Are you going to call her?”
“No.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles.
The envy in my heart dies a little. “Why not?”
When his eyes come to mine and then his lips, the envy in me dies completely. “Because it’d be entirely inappropriate. I just didn’t want to reject her for fear of insulting or upsetting her. That would have been unnecessarily mean.” He’s right. As much as I’d have loved him to toss her to the ground and laugh in her face, that would have been evil. He handled it quite well, now that I think about it. “Here. Dispose of it yourself if you don’t believe me.” I wait for him to place the number in my lap and my love for him rises tenfold. How I ever doubted this man for a second is beyond me.
I climb across the console and smother his mouth and face with kisses until he laughs and pushes me off him. “I love you.”
He grins and winks at me. “I love you more.”
“Why didn’t you introduce me though? Or tell her who I was to Caleb and what Dillan is to you?”
“And prolong the conversation further? To satisfy the curious mind of someone who means nothing to us?”
“Okay, stop being clever.” I fold my arms across my chest, annoyed with myself for being so petulant. Nathan is so logical; he never acts on emotion. Everything he does is so well thought out.
“You’re upset?”
“No.” I shake my head and rest my head on his shoulder, ignoring the way the arm rest between us digs awkwardly into my ribs. “I’m just playing.”
“Good.” He squeezes my thigh. “Shall we go and see this movie or not?”
“Why are you still talking? Drive already.”
“Yes, boss,” he chuckles and finally switches the engine on. “To the cinema!”
“Aye aye, SpongeBob.”
His eyes roll. I love it when he rolls his eyes at me.
The movie was a lot funnier than anticipated. So funny even Nathan laughed out loud at some parts. He was too distracted by the movie to care about my popcorn binge too, always a bonus.
I know that we have to head back now but I don’t want this night to end. I’ve needed this break. Together we have needed this break.
As we step out of the cinema into the cold air, Nathan winds his arm around my shoulders and nods at a passing man. He’s always so polite.
“I hope the kids slept okay,” I say softly.
“They’ll be fine.”
“You sound so sure.”
“Because Jeanine knows what she’s doing.” He shakes his head and stops us by the carpark. “I might have to go away for a few days on the thirteenth.”
I feel as though he’s been building up to this moment. “Where to?”
“Essex.”
I blink a long blink. “Essex?”
“Yeah, to open a new store.”
“That’ll only take a few days?” This is more of a probing question. I know how long it takes to find and open a new store. I just want more information on this sudden venture.
“No but I can come and go. For now I just want to find a decent location for a new store.”
I frown. “You sound like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
“I have. I know you’ve been busy so I didn’t want to bother you.”
My hand rests against his chest. “You never bother me.”
“Did I say bother?” He turns and wraps me in strong arms. “I meant burden.”
My eyes roll much like his did earlier. “You’re an idiot if you think anything in your life could possibly burden me.”
“Still…” He rests his forehead against mine. “So you’re okay with it?”
“I’ll miss you but I’m okay with it. Though I won’t be able to get time off work any time soon.”
“I know. I’m going to take Emily and Jeanine said she’ll watch Dillan.”
“You can handle that?”
He scowls. “Can I handle my daughter?”
I see that I’ve insulted him and now I feel bad. “I didn’t mean that. I just meant with you being busy and all…”
“I knew what you meant.” He pulls away from me and rubs his eyes. “Let’s go. I’m exhausted.”
I want to argue to stay a little longer. I know we have to be back but I’ve missed this alone time with him. I love my kids, I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I love my partner too and sometimes it’s okay to want alone time. I hope. Right?
“So how long have you been thinking about opening another store?” I knew it was a possibility but I’m worried he’s biting off more than he can chew. It’s only the second year. His jewellery is doing so well, but don’t all new things in the beginning? I don’t know. I shouldn’t be judging; I should be cheering him on. “Can we afford it?”
“We can now that you’re working and the insurance money for the house is just sitting there.” He shrugs and my temper spikes.
“We’re building a new house with that house money, remember?”
“We will.” His frown deepens and after he climbs into the car, he slams the door a little harder than usual. “Have faith in me.”
“I do!”
“Sounds like it.”
“I just…”
“What?” He turns to face me, the darkness and dim artificial light making his eyes glow dangerously.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m just scared.”
“You don’t think my jewellery will sell?”
My mouth drops open. “Now you’re just l
ooking for an argument.”
He turns to face the front, giving me his profile. “Well it’s what you’re implying.”
“No it’s not.” Is it? “That’s not what I meant.” He doesn’t speak and I fear my hesitation in supporting him has ruined the evening so I bite the bullet, close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, truly. You’re amazing and I believe in everything you do. This is… well you haven’t said anything until now and I guess I don’t like being out of the loop on something so huge.”
“I understand that, but you’re not out of the loop.”
“We should have decided this together.”
“Why?” He looks incredulous. “We would have come to the same conclusion, regardless.”
Gah. He is so frustrating. “Just forget it.” Now I’m the mardy one.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Scoff.
“Guinevere…”
“Just stop. Everything you say is making this worse.”
We both bite our tongues and stare ahead. I really hope we can reach some kind of neutral ground before we get home. Besides, I already apologised; it’s his turn now.
He doesn’t.
“Hey, Jeanine.” I grin when the silvery haired woman greets us in the hall. She hugs me tight. “Were they good?”
“They were wonderful, as always. Straight off they went.” We step into the living room and I take immediate note of how clean it is. She’s so good to us. “Dillan used his potty before bed too.”
“He’s getting so good at it,” Nathan grins, looking every part the proud father. “Would you care to stay for a drink?”
“No, I regretfully have to shoot off. Jen is coming with Tyler.” She hasn’t seen her daughter or grandson for a while due to her hectic schedule. Now I feel bad for asking her to come all of this way.
“Thank you for watching them. You’re too good to us.” I hug the lady I have such a loving bond with. She helped to safely bring my son into the world so it’s only right that I’m close to her. “Drive safely.”
“I always do,” she grins, hugging me back. “Give those beautiful angels a morning kiss for me. I’ll call you tomorrow night; we’ll plan a lunch.”