by A. E. Murphy
I love my family.
“I have to go,” I softly say, feeling the weight of having to leave them rest on my heart. “Make sure you finish packing your bags today. They’re basically done, just toothbrushes and more nappies.”
Nathan nods and follows me to the door, both kids following closely behind. “It’ll be sorted before you get back.”
“I don’t want you to go.” I lean against the door frame after opening the door and Nathan presses his body against mine. “I’m only going to have an hour with you in the morning before you leave.”
“I’ll miss you more, trust me.” His hands rest on my hips and his mouth touches my own.
“Morning,” our neighbour calls from across the fence as he enters his garden.
“Morning.” Nathan and I smile back as I slide free of Nathan’s heat. I lean into him and touch my cheek to his. “See you later.”
“Bye.” He waves before battling both kids back inside. As I climb into the car, the front door to my house closes.
I know I was resigned to Nathan leaving for this trip but it’ll do both of us good. Time apart will only make us stronger and the opportunities this trip could bring are too big to miss out on.
“Kerim,” I call over the noise of the kitchen. He swiftly moves around his station, throwing salt over fish in a pan before moving on. His arm raises and he crooks a finger for me to follow him. “Can I have a word?” I shuffle around two co-workers in my attempt to keep up with his speed.
“Outside,” he says and nods to the back doors before yelling, “HAROLD, COVER.”
“Yes, Chef.” Harold responds and I follow Kerim outside.
He snatches a dish from the side on the way and the second I step outside he presents it to me. I recognise the creamy scent immediately. “This is beautiful,” he compliments. “On Tuesday I want you to make me more just like this.”
“Sure.” I watch as he dips a piece of bread into it before presenting it to my lips.
“Eat.”
I open my mouth. I don’t have another choice and my stomach doesn’t protest either; it lets out a demanding growl.
“You’re hungry?” His accent is heavy and his brows furrowed. “I’ll make you something.”
“That’s not…” I run a hand over my hair to make sure it’s still in a neat bun. “I actually want to ask you if I can take the day off on August the nineteenth.”
He blinks slowly and stares at me for the longest moment. “Day off?”
“Yeah, it’s my friend’s birthday and we’re going to Alton Castle.” I can’t contain my excitement.
He smiles and I can’t recall ever seeing him smile. It’s nice. I’m steadily feeling more comfortable. “I’m sure we’ll manage without you for one day.” The tip of his finger taps my nose. “Come, let’s feed you before you waste away. My mother would be sorry at what little meat is sitting on your bones.”
I giggle because that only just makes sense. “Thank you, Kerim, for feeding me and for this opportunity.”
His answering grin is full of warmth. “I made the right decision. You deserve to be here.”
My responding smile is blinding; I can’t hold it in. This is becoming an awesome day, despite the fact Nathan is leaving tomorrow. And on that thought my smile is gone.
“So, Alton Castle, I’ve never been.” Kerim stretches his arms above his head and flexes his thighs as though preparing to race.
“Me neither but I’ve always wanted to go.”
“I hope you have a good time.” He holds open the door to the kitchen and motions for me to enter first. Patience stares at me from across the way with narrowed eyes. What’s her problem? “Mark it on the calendar in my office or I’ll forget.”
“Yes, Chef.” I grin and practically skip in that direction. Who would have guessed that Kerim is actually a nice guy beneath all of the insulting, shouting and swearing he does?
Surprisingly, since starting work in this fabulous restaurant, I’ve never once ventured into Kerim’s office. It’s nothing spectacular and it would no doubt give Nathan hives with how disorganised and messy it is.
I have the urge to organise the papers strewn over the desk and the floor but I have a feeling that Kerim knows exactly where things are in here. If I touch his stuff, I’ll be in deep shit. It’s not worth it.
The calendar hangs by the side of the door at eye level, a pen hanging loosely on a piece of ribbon from the wire binding at the top. Skipping forward a month, I circle the correct date with the red pen and write my name and reason for absence in the small box.
When I’m done, I find Kerim working over my station and I spot a lamb cutlet sitting in the centre of a plate. It’s rarer than I like but I’ll eat anything he gives me. He adds potatoes and a drizzle of gravy before sliding it in my direction. “Eat.”
I do as I’m told, trying not to mouthgasm with every bite. He’s just too good at food.
“Good?”
I nod. “The gravy is different.”
“Too many customers complaining about the mint so I made an alternative.”
“Good plan.” I’m surprised when he cuts into the lamb on my plate and takes a bite.
“Your husband,” he speaks around the food in his mouth, covering his lips with the back of his hand, “invited me to dinner, but as I’m still training you, I politely declined. I wanted to tell you, so you would know not to take offence.”
Nathan didn’t mention anything.
“He’s my friend, yes, but you know my rules on socialising. Once you’re trained and have the qualifications you need, I’ll gladly accept.” He dips his head and asks, “You understand?”
“Of course.”
Harold knocks an empty pan away and it clatters on the ground, splashing dirty water across the tiles.
“I’ll get it.” I brush past and reach for a mop. Kerim returns to work mode faster than he left it.
“You fucked the fish!” Harold bellows at Patience who, true to her name, has enough to just roll her eyes and start again.
She scowls at me in response to my reassuring look. I was trying to show her a united front but she can go fuck some more fish if that’s how she wants to be.
If I could drop to the ground and cling to Nathan’s leg I would, but people are watching and he’d hate the spectacle. So instead I cling onto his arm and smother his cheek and neck in kisses as he tries to move to his car. His smile lets me know that this is the kind of attention he enjoys.
“Gwen, I’ll be home in a few days.”
“That’s a few days longer than now though,” I grumble petulantly.
“My Angel is going to get upset if I leave her alone for a moment longer.” He’s referring to Emily, who he has just fitted safely into her car seat. I look around him at the bright eyed baby girl who seems far too happy to play with her father’s phone. She likes bashing it against the arm of the car seat.
“You’re so full of poop,” I state haughtily and straighten myself.
He grins, tugs me into his body and slams his lips onto mine, “I shall miss you every second that I’m gone.”
“Good.”
“Daddy.” Dillan tugs on Nathan’s jacket and Nathan gathers him into his arms for a long hug and a deep inhale. “Daddy be long. No.”
“No, Daddy won’t be long.” Nathan kisses his son’s chubby cheek and hands him to me. I balance him on one hip as I tap Nathan’s nose with my own. “I’ll call you when we arrive.”
“Good.”
“Have fun at work.” He squeezes my fingers and reaches through the rear passenger side window to snatch his phone back from the naughty baby. Now she screams. I lean through the window and annoy her with more smooches, despite the fact I already said my goodbyes before we strapped her in. “We’ll be fine.”
He climbs into the car and turns to face me. We look at each other over Emily and through the gap in the front seats.
“Promise?”
“Of course.” He winks and turns to face forward.
“I love you.” I move away and tell Dillan to wave. Seconds later Nathan is driving away, leaving me feeling empty and uncertain.
“Daddy gone. Bye bye.” Dillan continues to wave to nobody.
I swallow, shake myself off mentally and carry my son inside. Jeanine will be here soon to care for Dillan while I work and I need to make the most of the short time I have left alone with my son.
The house is pitch black when I arrive home past midnight, much later than expected. Jeanine must already be sleeping. To take my mind off the reality of life, I buried myself in my work, working myself to the brink of death. I’ve never felt so exhausted nor have I ever pushed my limits so entirely. I have impressed Kerim and the others though and for that I’m happy. I didn’t realise just how able my body is to handle so much. I’ll be pushing myself more often.
I creep into my little boy’s room on shaky legs and kiss his forehead. The guest bed is set up in the corner. Nathan did that for me before he left; he’s such a sweetheart.
Jeanine stays in our bed when she comes due to her bad back. I don’t mind, though it’s hard getting ready in the dark and I daren’t turn the light on for fear of waking Dillan. If only Emily’s room was big enough to fit a spare bed; it’s only just big enough for her cot and furniture.
Nathan: We miss you.
The phone lights up the room like a sun in a can, so I pull the blanket over my head and stare at the text and three missed calls until my eyes adjust to the almost painful brightness. I should respond but I don’t want to wake him or Emily. He sent me this at nine so I know he’ll be sleeping now. He has a busy day tomorrow and Nathan is always responsible. He likes to be well rested before a busy day.
Instead, I tuck my phone under my pillow and wince when the quilt sounds loudly against the bed sheet. I’m going to be so stiff when I wake up in the morning from being too scared to move all night.
Never mind.
Chapter Eight
The past few days have been the longest. Dillan has suffered without his father, Daddy’s boy that he is, and I’ve suffered right there with him. Why do I seem to become afflicted with the need to fornicate whenever Nathan isn’t here to satisfy me? Maybe that’s why, because on a normal day, he’d be here to fornicate. I never go wanting when he’s around.
Unfortunately, I’m working when he returns in around an hour if my calculations were correct based on our phone call this morning. He will relieve Jeanine of her babysitting duties; she has been amazing.
“Pay attention,” Kerim bellows so loudly my right ear rings and tingles almost painfully.
“Sorry, Chef!” I rush, panicking, and unfortunately, in my panic, I drop the plate in my hands and it clatters to the ground with a loud smash. Pieces of ceramic fly in all directions.
“CLEAN UP!” Patience yells and one of the crew gets to work with a brush.
“Are you fucking stupid?” Kerim slides another plate in front of me before turning to Harold. “We need another duck over here.”
“I’m sorry,” I say meekly. I need to get my head in the game.
He flips me off and stalks away, grumbling in Turkish. I can’t imagine the translation would be very pleasant.
“Oh great, just what we need,” Kerim growls as I finish dressing the final plate and slide it towards the collection point. His fingers are suddenly gripping my bicep and I’m being dragged to the back entrance. “You have thirty seconds to say your hellos and goodbyes.”
I’m left in the exit area, feeling flustered and annoyed at being suddenly dragged without my permission.
“Did he just put his hands on you?” Nathan’s voice utters dangerously. I feel the tension radiating from him and slowly turn his way.
Before giving him the chance to further question about Kerim and his temperaments, I throw myself at the love of my life and bury my face in his neck. “I missed you.”
He returns the embrace and cups the back of my head with a large hand. “You smell like herbs and vinegar.”
“Sorry?” Pulling back, I glare up at him. “That’s the greeting I get?”
“It’s nice. I’m not complaining.”
Kissing him firmly on the lips, I push up to my tiptoes and hold him as tightly to me as I can. “You’re never going away again.”
He smiles against my mouth and then tastes me with his tongue.
“Gwen,” Kerim barks loudly, making me wince.
“I have to go,” I whisper and step away from the man I love. He entwines our fingers. “Don’t wait up for me; you need your sleep.”
Nodding, he kisses me again and watches me go back inside before heading to his car.
The smile on my face is so wide my cheeks are in different countries.
“You focus now?” Kerim asks harshly, though I’m too happy to allow his mood to sour my day. “Good. Get working.”
“Yes, Chef.”
“And no more visits.”
My smile still doesn’t shift. He rolls his eyes at me but before he walks away I see his lips twitch. I’m off the hook.
Yay.
“Remind me to take my car in for its MOT next month. I think my radiators are broken. They take a lot longer to heat up than they used to and sometimes they don’t work at all.”
Nathan blinks, his eyes holding no small amount of irritation. “You’re talking about that now?”
“We’re finished so it doesn’t count.”
“How is it even on your mind?” He grinds his hips against mine and kisses the corner of my mouth.
“Ask yourself,” I remark, shoving him off me.
He laughs as he rolls to the side and slaps the side of my thigh. When I spin around, tempted to punch him in the face for making my skin sting, I melt when I see his cheeky smile. There’s no way I’m going to be able to mark that handsome face.
“I love you,” I tell him as I grab my dressing gown and tie it tightly beneath my breasts. “Shower?”
“Are you seriously asking me that question?” He’s up and out of the room before I make it around the bed.
As I reach for the handle, the sound of Nathan’s phone vibrating on the bedside table forces me back a step. I put it to my ear after noticing the number has been withheld. “Hello?”
“Gwen?” A man asks, sounding taken aback.
“Speaking.”
“I thought… is Nathan available?”
“He’s just stepped into the shower.” I hear the spray hitting the shower curtain from across the hall. “Can I ask who is calling?”
The line goes dead before he answers; he either hung up or we were disconnected. Either way I can’t call him back due to him withholding his number.
How strange.
What kind of person calls and doesn’t introduce themselves?
Then a thought hits me, regardless of the fact I doubt Mr Weston, aka Nathan’s father, would be stupid enough to call at such a delicate time.
Would he?
Something tells me that he most definitely would and something deep down tells me that I know his voice. I really hope that he doesn’t call again.
“Are you coming?” I hear Nathan ask and I really wish he wouldn’t be so noisy while the kids are sleeping.
To stop his racket and also because I need to feel clean, I finally enter the shower. My mind is a war of, ‘should I, shouldn’t I?’. If I tell him his dad called and I’m wrong, I’ll be causing him unnecessary panic. If I don’t tell him and he finds out, he’ll be really upset with me.
I’ll tell him tomorrow. There’s no need to upset such a peaceful night when I haven’t seen him for so long.
“So, now we have a second…” I turn the shower head so it’s pointing more towards me. Nathan’s soapy hands move around my back. He always knows just what to do to make me shiver. “How was your trip?”
“Successful. I’ve found a store and I’m looking to buy it as soon as I can.”
Annoyed that he hasn’t discussed this with me at all, though I do
n’t show it, I simply hug him instead and tell him how wonderful that is. It really is wonderful; I just wish I’d been a bit more included. I suppose I will be once we’ve gotten more of a routine established and I can get time off work to actually enjoy it over there with him.
“I’m not sure when I’ll be going back as we both know how much we’ve got going on here and I need to oversee the manufacturing of the newest line of Forever Connected charms.”
“Well as long as we don’t miss Sasha’s birthday gathering. I think Tommy might propose.”
“That’s nice.” He coughs a little and I worry that he might have caught something during his time away. “It’ll be nice getting together again; it has been a while.”
“Yeah.” I turn off the shower and step out, the chill instantly tightening my skin. Nathan wraps me in a towel and kisses the tip of my nose. He coughs again into his shoulder quickly after and my hand, despite the moistness of my palm and his skin, goes to his forehead to feel for any sign of a temperature. He rolls his eyes but lets me check him over. He knows how paranoid I get when somebody gets ill. I can thank Caleb for that one - his sudden death has tormented me forever. I know it was his fault; he should have told me and I don’t want to hate him for it, but I think a small part of me will always blame him.
“I’m fine,” he whispers and backs me into the bathroom door. “I can see your head spinning a thousand tales, but I’m fine. It’s probably just a cold.”
“In summer?”
“This is England,” he points out. “Is there such a thing?”
Fair point.
“Did you take your vitamins?”
“Of course.”
“You better not be contagious,” I mutter then pull away from him and tuck the towel tightly beneath my armpits.
“Stop worrying.” He grins and nuzzles my cheek with his nose.
“He’s such a baby,” I whisper down the phone to my mum.
“He’s male; of course he is.”
“All he wants to do is lie in bed.”
“Again, revert back to my previous statement.” She laughs and I smile along with her. “How are my grandbabies?”