by Jami Wagner
“What should we do?” Logan asks. “Maybe go grab a bite or something?”
Food doesn’t sound appealing in any way, but I have nothing else going on today and going home to hang out alone doesn’t sound fun. And sadly, once again, my mind is more focused on Ethan than plotting some points I could enter to that writing contest.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
At my car, I’m a little surprised Logan’s making the kind gesture to open my door. He does this sort of thing for Sara all the time or when we’re together but never just me on my own. Logan really is a sweet guy. Ironically, just as I think it, all the kindness is gone when he hits me with the driver’s door. I stumble backward, my purse slipping off my arm, tossing every item in it across the ground.
“Oh, dude, I’m sorry.” Logan kneels down with me as I gather everything up.
“It’s alright,” I tell him, but he’s almost laughing. “It doesn’t look like you’re too upset about hitting me,” I joke back. It’s really not a big deal, but then he reaches his hand toward me and I realize why he is laughing. I grab the tampon out of his hand, stuff it deep into my purse, and close my door once I’m inside the car, praying he doesn’t see the blush I have no doubt my cheeks are displaying. This is probably why he’s never opened a door for me. Probably had some sixth sense that it would be awkward one way or another.
Hanging out with Logan for a while is fun. He asks about Sara a bunch, which doesn’t surprise me. Those two aren’t very good at hiding their feelings. I thought for sure they were going to finally put themselves out of their misery and make things official, but then she up and decided to leave for this trip and didn’t even tell Logan. He found out from Ethan. The way he’s been talking about her this afternoon only confirms everything I thought: Logan doesn’t want her to go.
I pull up to my parents’ house around five. I have a plan to accomplish a lot of homework tonight, but after a good fifteen minutes of searching through my purse, backpack, and car for their house key, I give up. I must have lost it when I dropped my purse.
I get out of the car, close the door, and lean against it. I should have made a spare key after the first night. I take a deep breath and glance across the street to Ethan’s house, where the front light is on. He did tell me I could come to him if this happened again. I push off my car and head for his house.
I knock once and the door opens. Ethan’s in a pair of blue jeans and a simple red t-shirt. His hair looks a little messy, like he’s been running his hands through it. At least, I hope it was him.
“Hey, Kelsey, what brings you over?” His voice is shaky, and sounds a tad bit forced or rehearsed, I’m not sure which.
“I, uhh…I lost my key, I think,” I say, hoping he’ll invite me inside.
“Oh, yeah, come on in,” he says, stepping to the side to let me by with a pleased grin on his lips.
His cologne stands out when I pass him, and the smell of sandalwood and oranges fills the air. It’s a good smell. One that will forever now remind me of Ethan. Then again, scent or not, I have a feeling I’m not going to forget about him because right now, my mind has forgotten everything but him. If I can’t get a locksmith here soon, I might end up doing something completely not in my plans.
My eyes flash from his to his mouth and back. Yep. Kissing is definitely not in my plans, but right now, I might need to add it.
Ethan
No one needs to know that I asked Logan to sneak her house key off her keychain while they were in class. Except he didn’t do it while they were in class—instead, he faked opening her door and then knocked her on her ass to get it. He let me know I owed him big time for getting that key.
“Do you want anything to drink?” I ask her. She shakes her head and sits on my black leather sofa. Okay, so I hadn’t thought this far ahead. I was too worried watching her out the window like a creep, hoping she would take me up on my offer from the other night that I almost pulled my hair out. I sit down next to her. She looks at me, tilting her head to the side and gives me a small smile.
“No thanks. I’m just going to Google a locksmith and hopefully I won’t be in your way too long.”
“Yeah, sure, of course,” I say, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water anyway. I can’t just stand out there staring at her and doing nothing. If I can’t convince her to hang around for a little while, this whole thing will be for nothing. I could just ask her out like a normal guy, but she seems to have her shit together a lot more than me and I’ve yet to see signs of a guy in her life being something she’s interested in.
“I have a slight problem,” Kelsey says behind me in the doorway, leaning with her back against the frame and digging through her purse. “My phone just died and I didn’t have time to write the number down. Do you have your phone or an iPad maybe? Anything really.”
She shoves her phone back into her purse. I don’t understand how anyone can let their phone die in our generation, but right now, I’m not going to question it. I just wish my phone were dead, too, and that I can’t remember where my tablet was.
“You can use mine,” I suggest, holding my phone out to her.
“Thank you.” She takes the phone out of my hand and wanders back into the living room to take a seat on the sofa. Sooner than I had hoped, she’s talking with a locksmith. I sit down in the recliner this time as I wait for her to finish.
This would have worked a whole lot better if technology weren’t everywhere.
She hangs up and sets the phone on the table in front of her.
“He says it’s going to take a couple hours. Is it alright if I wait here?”
Sure is.
“Yeah, that’s cool.” I look at my watch. It’s almost five. “We could order a pepperoni pizza and watch a movie while we wait.”
“That sounds great.” Kelsey smiles.
I walk into the kitchen to order dinner and when I come back to the living room, she’s settled on the couch, watching TV. I’d expect her to pick some girly show, but instead she chose Breaking Bad. She looks good on my couch, in my house. It feels right, and something about that terrifies me. Walking into a room with her in it is nothing like when I join my parents or brothers. Right now, I feel like I can just be me and that’s good enough. I don’t have to pretend. How did she do that to me after just a couple days?
I take the seat next to her, and from the corner of my eye I can see her body stiffen the moment I sit down. She crosses her left leg and relaxes back into the couch. Her smile is gone and in its place is an expression full of focus.
“This is a good show,” I say, filling the silence between us. I don’t know what else to say. This is new for me. I never have a problem talking to women, but with Kelsey, everything feels different.
“I think so, too,” she says.
Get it together, Ethan.
I act as though I’m adjusting myself to get comfortable and mange to slide closer to her. There’s nothing discrete about what I just did, but she doesn’t move. I reach my arms above my head to stretch. I’m about to pull a really old-school move—and let’s be honest, it rarely ever fails. As I lower my arms to my side I keep my right arm straight and rest it on the back of the couch behind Kelsey’s head. At this exact moment it feels like everything in the room falls to silence, except for the bubble of laugher that comes out of her mouth.
I quickly glance at the TV, hoping the show is at a funny scene, but it’s not. Kelsey is laughing at me. Talk about blowing a man’s ego. I lift my arm off the couch. This isn’t working out how I want. Before I can rest my arm back at my side, she quickly scoots under my shoulder and rests her head against my chest. I freeze. Kelsey Brian just made a move on me. I want to jump off this couch and fist-pump my hand in the air. I slowly lower my arm around her to pull her close.
This is exactly how I wanted things to go.
We make it through another episode before the pizza shows up and then quickly devour every slice in the box. I get up to toss the box in th
e trash, and this time when I sit next to her, I don’t hesitate on how far apart we should be.
“Hopefully, the locksmith gets here soon,” she says, looking at her phone. I find this funny since earlier she told me it was dead. I want to smile like some lovesick puppy. She wants to be here just as much as I want her here.
“That’s okay. You can stay here as long as you need to.”
“Is that the same Xbox you had when you were sixteen?” she asks and I follow her gaze to the gray-and-white game box sitting under the TV.
“Yeah, I actually —”
“Can we play something?” She beams, sitting forward on the couch. She wants to play a video game?
“Sure.” I get up and turn the box on, giving her a few options. It’s been years since I played a game on this thing. I only kept it so I could watch movies with it.
“Let’s play this one.” She waves a simple car racing game in my face.
I put the disk in the player and hand her a controller. We sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the TV. Occasionally she squeals when she wrecks or turns her car in the opposite direction, but otherwise we’re both pretty quiet. We’re on the last lap when I make my signature move from all those years ago and cut her off, causing her car to spin out of control. She squeals again and shoves me over.
“You did that on purpose. I was going to win and you knew it.” She laughs.
In a moment like this, I have to take advantage of the open opportunity. I give her a slight push back and she grabs my shirt, pulling me toward her as she falls onto her back.
Our faces are inches apart. Our eyes lock and that’s when it clicks. She planned this whole Xbox idea. I start to smile, but when she licks her lips, her tongue brushes against my bottom lip. Shit.
“This was a bad idea,” she whispers right as our lips are about to touch. “We shouldn’t get involved with each other.” I lean my forehead against hers and let out a struggled breath.
“Why not?” I ask even though I know the answer. I would never force Kelsey into something she didn’t want to be a part of, and I know the reasons I shouldn’t do this, but I don’t understand hers. She’s never given me any sign she wasn’t in to this. Into me.
“We just can’t.” She places her hand on my chest to push me back. She stands quickly, reaches for her purse then turns for the door. With each step she takes I feel cold. Everything felt right with her in my arms and now she’s gone. This is wrong. I kneel, reaching for her before she makes it to the door, but her phone rings and the moment is over.
Chapter Nine
Kelsey
What I wouldn’t have given for the locksmith to wait just ten more minutes. As I walk across the street to meet him, I glance over my shoulder at Ethan’s house. He’s leaning against the doorframe, watching me with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him. I want more than just to kiss him. But I can’t let myself fall into that again. Into the hope that this time it’s real. I can’t assume that every guy will turn out like Tyler, but I’m not sure it’s a chance I want to take. That, and just the idea of him demands more focus than anything else in my life. I need to be 100 percent focused on writing.
I planned the entire game idea from the moment I sat down on his couch and turned on the TV. Every time I’m around him all the emotions I felt when I was fifteen years old come flooding back. That moment, right before he was about to kiss me, my mind went blank. I know where I’m at in life and what I want, but Ethan makes me forget all that.
I wait patiently as the locksmith lets me into my house, and Ethan watches us the whole time. I know he isn’t trying to be creepy. He’s only making sure I get inside safely. That’s one trait Tyler never had, putting someone else’s safety first. I turn to give Ethan a small wave good-bye before I close the door.
I can’t let the idea of getting hurt keep me from experiencing something great. Ethan and I—it could be more than great. And eventually I want to have a family and a career as an author. Now is as good a time as any to start balancing the two. I’m going to do it. I’m going to give Ethan a chance.
First thing tomorrow, I’ll tell him everything. Lay it all out there and let him make the next move.
* * *
It was hard to sleep last night. My heart raced the entire evening and my stomach fluttered like a child on Christmas Eve. I couldn’t wait for morning to get here. Luckily for me, I don’t have to wait till the clock hits seven before I get up because the persistent knock at exactly six is hard to ignore. I make my way down the stairs and stand on my toes to look through the transom. A groan slips past my lips as I take a deep breath and open the front door.
“Good morning, Mrs. Mulligan,” I greet and take step to the side. She’s holding two coffee cups and a Thermos. “Would you like to come in?”
Mrs. Mulligan stands there for a second but doesn’t look at me. Instead, she stretches her neck and looks behind me. Poofy, gray hair fills my vision as she surveys the living room. Finally, her dark brown eyes flash to me and she smiles.
“As long as I’m not interrupting anything,” she says with a mischievous grin. I give her my best smile in return.
“Not at all, just a restless night.”
She walks past me straight for the kitchen like it’s something she does every day. She takes a seat at the round wooden table made for six and starts to fill the cups she brought with her.
“I’d be restless, too, if I were your age and a boy like that lived across the street from me. Do you know much about him?” she asks. I try to not laugh as I join her at the table. She didn’t waste any time getting to the point of her visit this morning.
“His name is Ethan Connelly. He’s a cousin of my friend Sara.”
A startled expression appears on her face and her hand bumps her cup. Some of her coffee sloshes onto the table and she starts to rise. I stop her.
“I’ll get you a napkin, Mrs. Mulligan.”
“Please, call me Helen.”
I grab a towel and return to the table.
“So, is this Max Connelly’s son?” she asks.
I nod. I wasn’t aware she knew the Connelly family well enough to know Ethan’s dad.
“One of them. I think there are three boys total, but I’m not quite sure.”
Her mouth twists as she glances out the kitchen window. “And what is he back in town for?”
She doesn’t look at me when she asks, but there’s something else in that curious tone of hers. Almost as if she thinks she needs to be cautious with the question.
“Sara’s going out of town for a while. Ethan’s here to help with the bar.”
“Ethan?” she asks, her voice loud and shocked. “Of all those boys, he let Ethan come?”
The way she says “let” makes it sound as though choosing him wasn’t ideal. I take a sip of the coffee she brought while she fidgets with her mug. Is she having this conversation because she wants to know about her new neighbor or because she’s digging for information? I bet my mother filled her in on all kinds of crazy stuff from around town.
“I don’t know why they wouldn’t pick Ethan.”
Helen just nods then waves her hand, dismissing the topic.
We finish our coffee with a much lighter discussions of classes and how living next to my parents has been a delight for her. It sounds like she and my mother are becoming quite good friends.
“Well, I must be going,” she says, standing and collecting her Thermos. “See you around, Kelsey. I’m very happy to know you’re staying here while your parents are away. Ever since Mr. Mulligan passed, the closeness of friends is important to me.”
The idea occurs to me that maybe she and my mother have coffee together often, and that I could fill in for my mom while she is away..
“Of course. Come back tomorrow, same time?”
Her smile grows as she opens the door.
“Kelsey, I’d be hesitant to let that boy anywhere near you. His father was always a snake. I don�
�t like to judge his boys off his behavior, but I don’t trust that family…”
A smile wavers at my lips as I give her a puzzled expression. She doesn’t trust Ethan?
“…not after the fit he threw at his father’s funeral. Men like that only think of themselves and for your sake, I hope he didn’t raise his boys that way,” she adds.
“I’ll make sure Ethan is on his best behavior.”
“Good, you can start now. He’s on his way over here.” She glances back at me. “Maybe you should fix your hair?” She laughs and walks out the door. Sure enough, Ethan is crossing the street with flowers in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. He’s giving me the biggest smile he can make.
First Mrs. Mulligan warns me away from him, and now I need to improve my appearance. She’s lost her mind. Getting old must suck.
Ethan
After tossing all night, I’ve finally made a decision. I want Kelsey and I don’t care whose rules I break to make it happen. My father can suck it. It’s not the most mature attitude to have, but I’m starting to learn that there are more important things in life than gaining my father’s approval. Being with Kelsey is worth losing a relationship with him. Then again, I can’t lose it seeing as how we never really had one to begin with. My brothers were always his favorites. They did everything he wanted and they did it exactly how he wanted it. I’m starting to think it might be because none of them actually have a heart.
None of that matters now. I’m going to convince Kelsey we should give this a real chance. There’s a reason my feelings never went away and I have to find out what made her stop last night. I have to fix it.
There’s a spring to my step when I reach the sidewalk outside the Brians’ house. Kelsey is standing in the doorway, wearing a pair of blue, white, and silver pajama pants and a red t-shirt that says The Black Alcove across the chest. Her hair is a mess, in a sexy way, and her eyes light up when I get to the door.