I wanted to laugh but held it back. I didn’t want to piss him off.
“What is it between you two?” Karl asked, looking at me sideways from under the hood of the POS on which he was working.
“Don’t know,” I said, “Could be nothing. Could be something.” I was holding my cards close to my chest.
Karl stared at me as if his eyes were boring a hole into my brain. “Oh, there’s something there, Sloan. You disappear for four years and leave my kid brother twisting in the wind.” Karl’s solemn expression was set on his face.
“I’m sorry Karl. I sent him an email as soon as I could to apologize. I had to get away from my old man.” I was now nervous that Dave’s older brother hated me for baling.
Karl cleared his throat, “I get that. Your old man was an asshole. I guess he must have been abusing you the same as he was abusing Maggie. Sorry, man, that sucks.”
A horn honked in front of the shop and Karl left me to my thoughts. Damn, I hadn’t thought about our dad abusing Maggie. I felt sick. I felt the tears come to my eyes. I ran from the garage to the side of the building and vomited in the weeds. I hadn’t protected my sister from the bastard. I let her down. It was no wonder we had an estranged relationship.
I got my thoughts together, wiped the spittle from my mouth with my forearm, and returned to the garage to find Karl with his head back under the hood of the car. “I need to know something, Karl. Was he? You know, abusing her that way?” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he said almost silently. Then he raised his large frame up from under the hood and stood squarely in front of me. “Did he ever touch you like that?” Karl reached and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I just hung my head and whispered, “No. He just beat my ass with his belt.”
He moved back and folded his arm across his chest. His large hands were black with grease, and his jumpsuit was stained with oil. He leaned his backside against the grill of the car and stared at me for a minute without saying a word.
Then he started to speak. “This isn’t my place to say, but I’m gonna anyway. You have a right to know, and I doubt that Maggie would ever tell you. It was right after you and Davy were first in high school. One night, Maggie ran to our house crying and pounding on the door. Mom brought her in. She had blood running down the insides of her legs, and Momma shooed me out of the living room while she attended to Maggie. The next day, Mom had me drive your sister to Cheyenne where Mom’s sister lives. From there Maggie went to college and then got married, leaving everything she had ever known.”
“Thanks for telling me, Karl. I have always wondered why she just disappeared. Course, my mom said she ran off with a guy. I didn’t hear from Maggie until my graduation. She called to tell me that she was happy and had two kids. That’s good, I guess. At least she got away,” I said and tried to smile.
Karl was back under the hood of the Honda, swearing and cussing at the part he was trying to remove. “Yeah, it was good that you got away too, soldier. Now get your ass up to the house and talk with Davy. I’ll have Doug tow the Camry over and get it running for you.”
“Thanks, Karl,” I said. “That’s what I came here to ask you in the first place.” All I heard was a grunt from under the hood to let me know he heard me.
My head was in a fog thinking about what Karl had told me about my dad and my sister. As I walked next to the creek, I stopped and heaved my guts out again. So much for breakfast. I unlocked the door to the trailer and went inside. It was stuffy, and I opened all the windows and blocked open the back door in the laundry area to air things out. After living in the barracks with 20 other guys, this place would be a palace. I looked around and thought that a lot of folks didn’t live this good, especially in the part of the world from where I had just left.
When I was on my first tour of duty, I wondered why people would live in that desert shithole. After being there for a while and seeing how the people lived their lives, I started to get it. It wasn’t that the place was anything special. Fuck no, it was desolate, but they lived where they died, where their ancestors had died, where wars were fought, and people married and had kids. The land was consecrated by the blood and sweat of their elders. This was their land. It was the same now for me. This was my place, my land, my people.
Going into my parent’s master bedroom, I realized that no one had been around to get rid of any of their clothing or possessions after they passed. Mom apparently didn’t have the heart or the ability to get rid of my dad’s shit. Her dresses still hung in the closet, and the dresser was still full of bras, panties, and feminine things. My dad’s clothes still hung on his side of the closet. I was now about the same size he was, but the thoughts of what he had done to Maggie made my stomach do a flip, and I decided everything had to go.
I pulled the comforter and sheets off the queen-sized bed and headed for the washer and dryer. At least I could sleep in clean sheets tonight. I pushed the power button only to realize once again that there was no electricity in the trailer yet. The roar of a truck out front got my attention, and I went out to see Doug attaching the tow bar to my mom’s Camry.
“Hey, Doug,” I hollered.
“Oh, hey there Sloan, glad to see you made it back in one piece,” he said as he raised the rear of the car by pushing the lever on the tow truck. “Got the keys.”
Reaching inside the door from where I stood on the front porch, I grabbed the keys from the hook and tossed them to Doug. Once the car was secured and ready for towing, Doug walked over to the porch.
“You seen Jessica yet?” he asked.
“Who?” I sounded bewildered.
“You know that chick you dated in high school, Jessica. I thought you two were pretty serious,” he said.
“No. I haven’t thought about her for years,” I said, somewhat confused by his question.
“She lives just outside of town, has a kid now,” he said.
“Don’t think I’m interested, Doug,” I said.
“Just thought you might wanna pick up where you left off. I hear she still puts out,” Doug said with a chuckle. “Hey, how much for the Lincoln? I’ll give you fifteen.”
“Fifteen dollars?” I asked sarcastically.
“Fifteen hundred, dumbass,” Doug said.
“Sold, get it out of my yard. Can I hook a ride down to Gary’s? He still own Ace Hardware?”
“Hop in.”
Without really slowing down much Doug drove past the Ace store and flipped a U in the street. He stopped close to the front door to let me out. “Later, Sloan.”
“Nick, I heard you were back in town,” Gary said, stepping out from behind the cash register.
“Word travels fast,” I said. “Good to see you, Gary.”
“What can I do ya for?” Gary asked.
“I’ve gotta clean out Mom’s refrigerator. Mold, mildew, body parts, damn stinky,” I said with a big smile.
He held up his index finger and motioned for me to follow. Plastic gloves, a sponge, a plastic bucket, scrub brush, bleach, a face mask, and large black heavy-duty garbage bags. “That should do it. Make sure to wear the mask. If the smell is too much, put a few drops of camphor, or maybe turpentine on the mask, that’ll block most of the smell.”
I paid and headed back to the trailer, everything loaded in the five-gallon bucket. It was now almost Noon, and it was getting hot. I stopped back in at the El Dorado for lunch. Georgia had already left for the day as she had opened early for the breakfast crowd. There were a few faces I didn’t recognize. “Must be night shift at the mine,” I thought. I wolfed down my burger and walked back to the trailer.
I looked in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and found a bottle of camphor. I did as Gary advised and placed a few drops of camphor on the mask. I hooked the elastic band of the face mask around the back of my head, pulled on a pair of plastic gloves, and opened the refrigerator door. The camphor did block some of the smell, but I hurriedly pushed things off the shelves and into one of the plasti
c garbage bags. I dumped the vegetable drawers and emptied the door shelves of everything. Slamming the fridge door, I quickly sealed the bag with a twist tie and dragged it out to the front porch. Finally, I could breathe.
I went back in, having disposed of the rotting food items, and filled the bucket with hot water and a cup of bleach. In earnest, I grabbed the sponge and began washing the inside of the fridge, removing each shelf and placing it in the dishwasher until I had a full load to run once the power was restored. I decided I’d better call the power company and get service started.
Pulling my cell phone from my pocket, I saw that I had no service. I figured that there must be a place to get a new plan now that I was back in the States. The Walgreen’s on Pacific would probably have something.
I left the windows open but locked the doors, walked over the bridge across the creek and down Main Street to Pacific. An hour later I walked out of the store with a new iPhone. Finally, I had communications again. Walking past the Ranch Store, I decided to go in and buy a few pairs of Carhartts and some polo shirts. That should do me for a while. Besides, I needed something nice to wear when I went to see Dave.
As the afternoon progressed, I continued to clean up the trailer and haul garbage to the dumpster behind the Emerald Tap Lounge on Main. The call to the power company was short, and I was told I would have power restored by the next day.
By late afternoon, I was hot and sweaty from work and decided I’d better take a shower and clean up before I headed up the street to talk to Dave. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I wasn’t sure, exactly, what I would say. Maybe I should just start out with an apology for leaving without any explanation, but then he would expect me to explain. I thought for a while and decided that I just needed to come clean and be honest and upfront with Dave. He deserved that.
Finishing my shower and dressing, I checked myself out in the mirror. I thought I looked good. My new polo shirt showed off my pecs and my biceps.
I transferred my wallet to my new Carhartt’s and found the pack of cigarettes in the front pocket of my camo shirt from the day before. I looked at the pack for a long time and then crushed them with my fist, tossing them into the garbage. I owed him that, too. I had promised him that I had quit and by God, I quit.
Chapter 2
It was a quarter to six when I left the house and headed up the street to talk with Dave. I pulled my sunglasses from the top of my head to my eyes and walked with intent. This was it. This is why I was anxious.
Looking up at the Weston house in the daylight, it was the same as I remembered it. It was Dave’s dad who had built this house when we were little kids, before he died, leaving Georgia, a young widow. It needed painting and was a plain box house, two stories, no awning over the front door, and the front door was weathered. I knocked loudly. There was no doorbell.
The door cracked open, and a small voice asked, “Who is dis?” I looked down to see two little eyes staring up at me. “Grandma, it’s a man,” the girl’s voice screeched. Georgia was smiling as she opened the door and pulled a little dark-haired beauty up into her arms.
“Come in, Nick,” she said.
“Who Nick?” the little girl asked.
“Shh, he’s a friend of Uncle Dave’s,” Georgia whispered as she kissed the precious one.
I moved inside the door, and she closed it behind me. “This is Amber, my granddaughter. She’s four. She is my daughter Natalie’s child. Dave should be down in a little while. I think I heard the shower start a few minutes ago. Have a seat, sweetie. Don’t be bashful. This isn’t your first time at my house. You practically grew up here.”
That may be true, but it still felt awkward. It had been a few years since I had been here, and now I felt like an interloper. “Dave, Nick’s here!” Georgia yelled up the stairs. Carrying Amber, she left me to my thoughts. My knee was bouncing in reflex action from nerves.
“Relax, act casual, you got this dude,” I thought to myself, but my brain disagreed.
I heard his footsteps coming down the hall from his upstairs bedroom. Looking to the top of the stairs, there he was. My breath caught in my throat. He stood there expressionless with one hand on the banister and the other against the opposite wall. His biceps bulged beneath the sleeves of his white t-shirt. I stood up. Fuck, he wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t frowning either.
His dark brown eyes seemed to study me. His hair was cut short, like always, and his dense, coarse hair caused his bangs to stick straightforward from his head. Dave’s long dark lashes fluttered, and then, there it was, that bright white smile flashed across his face. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days, and the contrast of his dark whiskers made his white teeth even brighter. I sighed with relief.
Slowly, hesitantly, he took one stair at a time. He had come into his own in the last four years. Broad shoulders supported his thick neck, a muscled chest triangled down to his narrow hips. His butt and thighs were packed in those jeans almost ready to break free. Jesus, he looked good. My smile was greeting him as he approached me.
“God, it’s good to see you, Nick,” Dave whispered in my ear as he hugged me tightly. I returned his hug and didn’t want to relinquish my hold, but I felt him move to back away, so I dropped my arms to my side.
“Good to see you too, Dave,” I whispered as he moved to sit in a chair across from the sofa. I sat my ass down and clasped my hands between my knees.
“You’re looking good. The army must have treated you right,” Dave said, continuing to smile at me.
“It wasn’t totally fucked up. It gave me a great set of guns,” I said, raising my arms and flexing my biceps, “and set of six-pack abs.”
“Nice,” Dave said with a chuckle.
“You’re looking fit yourself, man,” I complimented him. “You workout?”
“Yeah, driving truck at the mine doesn’t do anything for the physique, but Karl set up a gym downstairs for the two of us to workout every night,” Dave said as he flexed his incredible biceps. I caught a glimpse of the thick, dark patch of underarm hair. I swallowed hard as my mouth started to water.
“Karl’s still living at home then?” I asked, surprised that he was still single.
“He got a divorce a couple of years ago, moved back into his old bedroom in the basement. He married some chick he met over at the state fair in Douglas. Mom didn’t like her much, called her everything but a white woman behind Karl’s back. He found out that Miranda was messing around with a guy out at the truck stop.”
“That sucks. I talked to Karl this morning. He didn’t say anything about being married,” I said in surprise.
“You know Karl. He’s a man of few words. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know it hurt him. He took up with some gal from Evanston a few months ago. Mom likes her a lot and has had her up for Sunday dinner, a time or two,” Dave said, staring into my eyes.
I couldn’t tell what he was looking for, but his eyes were boring into my brain. We had known each other all our lives. He already knew me like the back of his hand. I knew we had something between us, even if we’d only had a hasty one-time thing. That one-time thing had altered my thinking about him and had probably had the same effect on him. Maybe he was searching for some sign that I did, indeed, feel the same about him.
I switched up the subject, shaking my head to clear my brain. “I met your niece, Amber, what’s up with that?” I asked.
“Yeah, well, you remember my sister, Natalie, she was two years ahead of us in school,” Dave started. I nodded my head, acknowledging that I remembered her.
“She, um, got hooked on meth. The guy that got her using also got her pregnant, and now we have Amber. We haven’t heard from Natalie in over a year. Mom’s heartbroken,” Dave said sadly.
“Shit, man, that poor little girl. I thought I had it bad with my fucked up parents.” I shook my head in disgust.
Dave sat staring at me for a minute before speaking again. “You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you,” he said.
His eyes seemed pained and sad.
“I’m so sorry, Dave,” I said as I stood and moved to where he sat. He looked up at me with those sad brown eyes, and I knelt on both knees in front of him and took both of his big, manly hands in mine. I felt like I wanted to die for hurting him.
“You don’t need to say you’re sorry, Nick. I understand why you left. It’s not like you had much of a choice,” Dave said in a soft, quiet tone. “It’s just that when you left, I thought that I was fucked up for the way I was thinking. I felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces, and that I was the only guy who had ever thought that way about another man. I would cry myself to sleep thinking about you. Then, I got your email a few weeks after you left. It gave me hope and mended my heart. So here I wait. For you.”
“Dave, my dad was only part of the reason I left. It was this thing between us. I had the same feeling for you, but it scared me. It terrified me that you probably didn’t feel the same way about me.” I pulled both of his hands to my cheek and rubbed them against my face, and then, gently kissed them.
I looked up into those big, beautiful, brown eyes of his and stared motionless for an eternity. “Dave, I have to say this now, or I’m afraid I won’t ever say it.” My mind raced, my pulse was beating in my ears, and my breathing stopped, “I love you, Dave. I mean, I’m in love you. Not like friends’ kind of ‘I love yeah, bro’, but deep, romantic love. I want to be your lover and your partner, and I want you to be my lover and partner.” Fuck, I was making a mess of this just trying to get my emotions out. When I had enough courage again, I looked up at Dave’s face. He was smiling, but he was crying. He was laughing, but tears were falling.
I stood up and pulled him into my arms and kissed him. It wasn’t a soft, chaste kiss. My lips bore down on his, and my tongue pried his lips apart in forced entry. We kissed for several minutes.
Neither of us paid much attention as Georgia took her keys and purse from the coffee table behind us where we were wrapped in one another’s arms. She was holding Amber’s hand. “You boys come down to the café in a while for dinner,” I heard her say. Then I heard Amber complaining. “I wanna stay with Uncle Dave and watch him kiss that man.”
Waiting for You Page 2