* * *
After dinner, we headed to the Winter Formal, which was being held at the Grand Balboa Hotel ballroom. We all met up again at the hotel’s lobby and headed over to get in line for pictures. Kraig and I had agreed that this wasn’t a date date, that we’d do the big group picture of the crew, but wouldn’t do one with just us.
We waited in line for the skyline backdrop. We took several poses—all the girls sitting with the corresponding guy behind us, alternating guy-girl in a single line and then the obligatory goofy picture. Sometimes, it was hard to keep a straight face, or rather a frozen smile, when all I wanted to do was laugh. Partly because I was having fun and partly because Becca really seemed to be going out of her way, even more, to throw herself at Patrick. I could see what he was talking about and why it was bothering him.
When we were done with the group pictures, Kraig and I stepped aside. The others chose their backgrounds and waited. Since we had just taken pictures, the photographers didn’t make them go to the end of the line to wait again. They were allowed to be next up in line.
Kraig and I waited off to the side, closer to the big open hallway that hotels have in their lobby/ballroom areas for the rest of the crew to be done. We talked for a bit before he excused himself to use the restroom. I stayed and watched Patrick and Becca and Bobby and Emily take their pictures. It was like Becca had one thing on her mind and she didn’t care who knew. Patrick, clearly, wasn’t that comfortable with it, tried to subtly get her to stop or back off some. Bobby and Emily were very cute to watch. The photographer posed them very classically for their pictures. I had just noticed Tony and Karen get their turn at a different backdrop when suddenly an arm was wrapped around my waist. I immediately tensed up and tightened my hands into a fist.
“Hey, beautiful.” The voice whispered into my ear. “How about you and I…”
I swung my arm behind me, hitting the guy in the crotch. I turned and just started kicking and punching him. It was like I was on autopilot, not thinking, just reacting. I saw him, this time he wasn’t going to hurt me. I wouldn’t let that happen again. He started to get up. Tears streamed down my face, “No! Don’t touch me. I won’t let you hurt me.”
My arms flew wildly at him with all the strength I had. He was on the ground and trying to get up again, but I wouldn’t let him. “Don’t touch me! Leave me alone!”
My ears were filled with his voice, “Come on, you’ll have fun. I’ll show you a real good time. Be a good girl and stop fighting. It’ll be more fun and hurt less if you do.”
I hit him and cried out, “No! Leave me alone!” All of a sudden my arms were stuck to my sides. Someone wrapped their arms around me so I couldn’t move. I screamed, “No! Let me go!” I kicked and tried to wrestle away. “Don’t!”
A voice whispered in my ear. “Ssh…Liz, it’s okay. You’re safe. It’s just me, Patrick.” It took me a second to register that it was Patrick. It was him, his voice, his arms that were holding me back. I blinked and looked around me.
Joey was on the ground and Kraig was helping him up. Patrick’s grasp around me relaxed once he knew that I recognized him. He held onto me and kept repeating, “Ssh. It’s okay. You’re safe.”
Joey was up on his feet. Wow, I really let him have it. He had some cuts and bruises and stared at me, shocked.
“You okay, Joey?” Patrick asked.
“Yeah.” He wiped the trickle of blood that ran down his lip to his chin. “What the hell?” He demanded.
I looked up at Patrick, feeling like everything was swirling around me. He looked coldly at Joey. “She’ll be okay, thanks for your concern.”
“I was just messing around.” Joey didn’t see what he did wrong.
“Maybe next time, think twice before coming up behind a girl.” Patrick said icily.
I stood there frozen, unable to say anything, do anything. I didn’t really understand what happened. Suddenly, I felt very self-conscious. I looked around and the rest of the guys were there—Bobby, Tony and Jason. They stood on both sides of me.
Patrick continued, “If I were you. I’d apologize to her, now!”
“Why?! She’s the crazy bitch that went off on me, for no reason.” Joey seethed and lunged forward, pointing at me.
The guys stepped forward and closed ranks. Kraig pushed up against Joey, positioning him in the center of all the guys. Patrick took a step around me and put himself between me and Joey. Patrick’s arm protectively wrapped around me from the front.
“Like I said, you owe Liz an apology.”
“Sorry.” Joey said sarcastically.
“If you ever, do this to Liz, or any other girl, you’ll think what Liz did to you was nothing.” Patrick vowed. “You don’t grab girls from behind. I don’t care if you’re joking. It’s not funny.” His controlled voice contained such contempt and rage.
Joey looked at all the guys and finally at me. I was still shaking and in shock over what happened. Fear was plastered on my face as I looked at Joey. I think he finally started to get that it was a big deal to me.
“Okay. Okay.” He conceded. “I really didn’t mean to scare you, Liz. I was just screwing around.” Joey scoffed.
I just looked at him, still unable to speak. Mr. D, who was chaperoning the dance, came up to us. “Everything okay? Is there a problem here?” He looked at the guys, at Joey and followed his gaze to Patrick and me.
Kraig was the first one to speak, “Everything’s okay. Right, Joey?” He patted Joey on his shoulder.
“Yeah. Just a misunderstanding, Mr. D.” Joey answered.
“You sure, Joey?” Joey nodded to Mr. D’s question. Mr. D eyed him. “Who hit you?”
Joey looked at the entire crew standing there. It would be easy for him to pick any of them, especially Patrick, to lay blame. They probably wouldn’t have denied it and would have taken any consequences for me. I didn’t want them to get in trouble because of me. “Like I said, Mr. D, it was a misunderstanding. Don’t worry about it.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Mr. D didn’t like it when people tried to avoid his questions, especially right now.
“Patrick?” He turned to his favorite student, looking for an answer.
Patrick finally took his gaze off of Joey and looked at Mr. D. “Yeah?” He paused for a second. “Everything’s cool.”
“Again, doesn’t answer the question.” Mr. D looked at each one of the guys, reading their expressions. Finally, he looked curiously around Patrick at me. I was the only one that was a mess that looked like they were in a fight, besides Joey. My face was tear-stained, my hair was a mess and I was still trembling. Mr. D reassessed the entire group. Patrick and the guys were in more of a defensive position to protect me and each other. “I see.” He looked at me, “Everyone’s okay?”
Patrick answered for everyone, “Yeah.” He turned around to look at me. “We’re going to get some air.” He put his arm around my back and led me away.
We walked outside into the cool night air. It felt cold against the heat emanating from every part of me, especially my face. There was a courtyard in the center of the hotel’s towers. We headed to a bench near the fountain and sat down. I put my face in my hands and tried to get a grip on myself.
Patrick put his hand on my back and I flinched. He pulled his hand away and broke the silence. “It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re not in San Francisco. We’re here at the Grand Balboa Hotel. You’re not alone.” He tried again, putting his hand on my back to remind me. “I’m here. The guys are here. You’re not alone.”
I looked at him and nodded. My voice came out in a shaky whisper, “I’m not alone.”
“No, you’re not.” He reassured me and gently stroked my back.
“We’re at the Grand Balboa Hotel?”
“Yeah.”
I looked down at my clothes. “Tonight’s the dance?”
“Yeah.”
It was starting to sink in that I wasn’t in San Francisco and this wasn’t some
nightmare that I’d wake up from. “Oh, my god. What did I do?”
“You kicked Joey’s ass. I should have you be my bodyguard for away games against rival schools.” He chuckled and nudged me.
“Aw, man…” I shook my head.
“Don’t worry about it.” Patrick tried to soothe me. Then his jaw locked. “He deserved it. He shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.” He took a deep breath.
“What happened?” It all seemed like a blur to me.
“Well, Becca and I were taking pictures. I looked over at you and Kraig and he was heading to the restroom or something. We posed for more pictures and when I looked back over, Joey came out of nowhere and was behind you. He put his arms around you and said something to you. The look on your face as you turned around… I knew you were scared and it wasn’t good. I called out to you as I ran over, but you didn’t hear me. I don’t think you heard anything. Kraig was back and trying to get you to stop, but he couldn’t get near you. Every time he did, you screamed. I didn’t want to scare you more by grabbing you myself, but I didn’t know what else to do.” He looked so apologetic. “Don’t ever think that you’re not a fighter. You are. I know first hand and have some bruises to prove it.” Patrick cracked a small smile.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I felt bad that I kicked him.
“It’s okay.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “What do you remember?”
“I remember an arm wrapping around me and a guy’s voice whispering in my ear. I spun around and it was like I was in that alley. I just wanted to stop him before he got as far as he did in San Francisco.” I shook my head. “I don’t remember Kraig or you calling my name. I remember suddenly not being able to move my arms and really scared that it was happening again. Only this time, I thought that he’d win…”
“I’m sorry. I was afraid of that. I didn’t want to hurt you…”
“No. You did what you had to. It was the right thing to do. I heard the words and your voice, and it didn’t match what I was seeing. It took me a while to realize that it was you.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Man, I’ve made a mess of myself here. Ruined tonight for Kraig, Joey, you…”
“Nah. Nothing has been ruined. Don’t worry about it.” He waved his hand like it was no big deal.
“But your pictures… You weren’t finished taking them.” Another realization hit me. “Great, now I’ve given Lindsey a reason to be mad at me.” I threw my hands up in resignation.
“No, she won’t. Besides, we got a couple different poses, so it’ll be fine.” Patrick reassured me. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know… I don’t want to keep messing up everyone’s night.” I sulked.
“Don’t worry about them. They only want what you want. They’ll understand whatever you choose. They’d all hang out in the parking lot if that’s what you wanted.” He smiled. I believed him. They would. “Do you want to go home?”
I thought about it. I didn’t feel like staying and being around a lot of people. I wouldn’t be much fun. But I didn’t want to ruin Kraig’s night or the rest of the crew. We had made plans. Then again, I didn’t want to go home either. I didn’t want to explain why I was home early to my parents. My parents would say they were right—look at the trouble I got myself into. Finally, I told Patrick, “I don’t want to go home. I’ll stay, I don’t want to be alone.”
“Okay. If you’re sure. But if any time you want to go home, just say so.”
I nodded. “Thanks.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walking toward us.
It was Kraig. “Hey, Liz. How are you doing?”
“Better. Thanks.” I forced a half-smile.
“I’m glad.” He looked at Patrick, “Uh…you might want to go back inside. Becca is…well, being Becca. I’ll stay out here with Liz, if you want.”
Patrick sighed and got up, “Okay. It’s up to Liz, you want to stay out here or go back inside?”
I looked at Patrick and Kraig. “I think I’m ready to go back inside.”
Kraig smiled, “Good. Just so you know, everyone’s waiting in the hallway. They want to know that you’re okay.”
I nodded. It was good to know that in advance, at least I could start to compose myself. I didn’t know what I’d say to them. I was ashamed of what had happened. The last thing I wanted to do was explain the real reason why I freaked out. But it was nice to know that they were worried about me and didn’t go into the dance yet. They cared. It felt good.
Kraig opened the door for us and the three of us entered the hotel. Down the long hallway, I could see the crew. They were standing there, some against a wall, talking and hanging out. If you didn’t know what happened earlier, you wouldn’t have known that they were waiting for their friend who had lost a grip on reality. Becca immediately grabbed a hold of Patrick. Emily and Cassie stepped toward me, slowly, as if they were not sure if I would freak out with sudden movements.
“Hey, you okay?” Emily asked.
“Yeah…” I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to get the focus off me, as quickly as possible. “I appreciate you guys waiting for me, but you should go on into the dance.”
“Come on, Patrick! Let’s go! I didn’t get this dress to stand out here in the hall waiting for some people.” Becca scowled and pulled Patrick toward the ballroom.
Patrick looked at me, “You okay?”
I nodded, “Yeah, go.” They walked into the dance, with Becca draping herself all over him. I wondered how he would hold up through tonight.
“You are staying. Right?” Cassie wondered.
“Yeah. I’m staying. But, I think I need to fix my hair, it’s kind of a mess.”
“We’ll help. You guys go in and get a table. We’ll be in soon.” Cassie and Emily carefully put their hands on my back and led me to the restroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked like crap. They helped me fix my hair and makeup. It’s a good thing, too. I never come prepared with grooming stuff, and between the two of them, they had everything. They got me looking close to what I did when I first got to the hotel. That was a pretty amazing feat.
“There! Good as new!” Emily said proudly.
“Thanks.” It was nice not to see all that pain streaked across my face so clearly for everyone to see.
“You know, it’s good what you did to Joey. It was bound to happen. Maybe now he’ll stop grabbing girls like that and stop acting like he’s in junior high. It isn’t funny or cute.” Emily said carefully, trying not to upset me.
“Yeah, I always hated it when he did that to me. I’ve wanted to hit him. I’m glad you did.” Cassie agreed.
“Really?” I asked apprehensively.
“Yeah. So, don’t worry about it. All people will remember is Joey got what he always deserved.” Emily put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed. I smiled at her and Cassie in the mirror. “You ready?”
I nodded and took a deep breath. I was as ready as I would ever be. We headed into the ballroom and entered the dance. I looked around to find the table where the rest of the guys were. Emily spotted them and walked to the table that was close to the ballroom’s side wall with a clear view of the dance floor. Bobby and Jason went up to their girlfriends and asked them to dance. Tony and Karen were already out on the floor dancing. I assumed that Patrick and Becca were out there as well, since they weren’t at the table.
The loud dance music pulsated through the ballroom. Kraig and I hung out at the table, chatted and pointed out the outrageous dancers. The nice thing about dancing to fast songs is that you don’t have to have a partner. Dancing in groups of three or more is common. Every so often, some of the crew would come back to the table to take a break and rest. When they did, I could convince Kraig to go dance and join the others—he wouldn’t go otherwise. The girls wanted to keep dancing, but the guys would rotate out, always leaving me with Kraig, Bobby, Jason or Tony, at one time or another. I was never alone. I didn’t have to ask t
hem to do that, they just did.
Of course, when slow songs came on, the dance was for partners only. It was nice to not have the bass of a song pound through me when ballads played. During the second slow song set, Kraig asked, “Do you want to dance?”
“No, it’s okay. I told you…me and dancing are like drinking and driving. We don’t mix.”
“Come on, I buy that for fast songs, but for slow? You don’t have to really do anything but sway back and forth.” He had a point. “And I promise you’ll always know where my hands are.” He grinned and showed me both his hands, palms up.
I suppose the night couldn’t get any worse. I hoped that I got my one major embarrassing moment out of the way already. “Since you asked so nicely…sure.” I got up and we headed to the dance floor. I was really tense. I hadn’t danced with a guy since before the attack. I definitely hadn’t had a guy touch me like that since then either. I tried not to flinch when he innocently put his arms around me. It’s just Kraig. It’s just Kraig. I’m okay.
“Relax. I got your back.” He smiled. “Literally. No one can sneak up behind you with us dancing like this.”
“That’s true. I didn’t think of it that way.” I chuckled and relaxed a little.
Kraig and I continued our people watching while we danced. Some people danced so close, you wondered how they were able to breathe at all. As we danced and turned, I spotted Patrick and Becca. Becca had her head on Patrick’s shoulder and lifted it just in time to see me. She flipped her hair and started making out with him, then grabbed his ass. From Patrick’s reaction, it caught him off guard. He pulled back, but Becca, like a magnet, reattached herself to him. Patrick dropped his arms and stopped dancing. He said something to her, which it seemed, made Becca react with more flirtation.
He turned and walked over to our group’s table, with Becca close behind. Patrick sat down facing the dance floor and she plopped down on his lap. I lost sight of them as other couples got in my line of sight. I shouldn’t be spying on them anyway, but I was worried about Patrick and I couldn’t help it—besides, it gave me something else to think about. He had helped me so much and I wanted to return the favor. I didn’t really know how to except to be there for him.
The last slow song of the set ended and the dance music resumed. Kraig and I headed back to the table. Patrick and Becca were still there.
Kraig pulled out a chair for me to sit on. “Want something to drink?”
“Sure. Water would be nice.” I answered.
“No problem.” Kraig looked at Patrick and Becca. “You guys want something?”
“Ooh, diet anything. Make sure it’s cold.” Becca responded patronizingly.
“Damn, Becca. Why you do have to be like that? He’s being nice.” Patrick was still annoyed, she just rolled her eyes. “I’ll get it, Kraig.”
“It’s okay.” Kraig shrugged. “You want anything?”
“No, thanks.” Patrick replied. Kraig left to go get our drinks. Patrick turned to face me and was about to say something when Becca took his face in her hands and started kissing him.
Becca finally came up for air, “Where’s Kraig? I’m thirsty.”
I wanted to say…Well, if you weren’t sucking on Patrick’s face every chance you got, you wouldn’t be so dehydrated. But I didn’t. Kraig, thankfully, was back with her soda and two waters, before I said something I shouldn’t.
“Here you go.” Kraig handed Becca her soda. She quickly took it from him and started sipping it. “And for you…” He opened my water bottle before handing it to me.
I took the bottle and smiled. “Thank you.”
“Welcome.”
Patrick nudged Becca and nodded in the direction of Kraig. She looked at Kraig and got the hint, “Oh. Thanks.” Her focus returned to Patrick. All of a sudden, she looked at me, “Hey! Take our picture.”
“What?” I couldn’t believe she was actually talking to me.
“Well, aren’t you our designated photographer? Isn’t that what you said?” Becca was being a bitch about it, but was right. It was the plan. Taking pictures was a way for me to be a part of the night, part of the group, but not have to dance and be ‘safe’ behind the lens.
“Becca, lay off her. She’s having fun.” Patrick interrupted.
“No. She said she’d take pictures.” Becca demanded. “She ruined our earlier ones, the least she can do is take some pictures for us now.” She was in full pout mode.
“I’m sorry about that.” Thanks for the reminder, Becca. I was able to put what happened earlier out of my mind for a bit and was having some fun. She slapped me back into reality.
Patrick looked squarely at me and shook his head, “You don’t have to.” He turned to Becca, “And she didn’t ruin anything. We had plenty of pictures taken earlier.”
“It’s okay… I said I would take pictures.” I fished the camera out of my purse.
“See, she wants to do it.” Becca was cheerful because she felt she won. “Come on, Paddy. Smile!” She primped herself on Patrick.
“You don’t have to do this, Liz.” He said soberly. He didn’t sound like himself. He sounded so…regretful.
I nodded, “Yeah, I do.” I lifted the camera to my face. “Smile.” Becca posed by draping herself around Patrick, he forced a smile. “Okay, 1…2…3….” I took the picture.
At some point, everyone made their way back to the table to take a break before going back out to dance. I took pictures of everyone in the crew, with different poses and mixes. Emily grabbed my camera, handed it to Bobby and insisted that I was in some of the pictures. By the end of the dance, I must have taken at least 60 different pictures of everyone.
Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) Page 63