Like a bronco, the cabin pitched and tossed. In his temporary solace from the rain and wind, he prayed a calm would come soon.
“Can’t sleep?” Rachel asked.
Esther stopped in the bedroom doorway. “I don’t think I’ve slept at all. I thought I’d try calling Ian again…just one more time,” she whispered, not wanting to wake Jeff sleeping on the living-room sofa. Her body ached with exhaustion and fear.
“What time is it?” Rachel asked.
Esther pointed to the glowing clock dial. “Nearly four. Sounds like the storm’s let up a little.”
“Thank the Lord.” Fully clothed, Rachel sat up and slipped her legs over the edge of the bed. “I think I’ll make some coffee.”
Esther sniffed the air. “I smell coffee. Do you think Jeff’s up?”
Rachel chuckled. “He’s probably been awake all night. He thinks the best of Ian, and…” Her voice faded.
“I know.” Esther lowered her face to her open hand, pressing at the fear and sorrow that pounded in her head. “This is too much like our past, Rachel. Way too much.” Her voice trembled as her uncle’s image rose in her mind. She drew a quaking breath into her lungs to steady herself.
Rachel reached her side, and they headed for the tempting aroma floating down the hallway.
Esther rounded the corner first into the kitchen. Jeff sat at the kitchen table, his face strained with a sleepless night, his eyes bloodshot.
“I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said, his voice rasping with lack of sleep.
“You didn’t. I haven’t slept much, either,” Esther said, heading toward the coffeemaker. “Thanks for making this. I need something to rouse my spirits.”
He nodded and took another sip. “There’s no news from the Coast Guard.”
She swung around to face him. “Did you call again?”
“A few minutes ago. This time I gave them your phone number…just in case they heard something.” His face was strained with emotion. “No news is good news. Remember that.”
She nodded, knowing the saying could easily have two meanings. No news could mean Ian was safe…but it might also indicate Ian hadn’t had time to send an SOS before… She couldn’t bear to think the words.
She filled her cup and took a sip before shifting to the phone. “I’ll try calling him again.” She punched in the telephone number and waited until the answering machine picked up. She disconnected and turned toward them, shaking her head. “No answer.”
Rachel patted a kitchen chair. “Come and sit.”
Esther crossed the floor and slid into the chair, her thoughts jarring through her mind. When she focused on Rachel, then Jeff, their fearful expressions unsettled her, and her own fright surfaced, causing her cheek to quiver with unspent tears.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Rachel said.
Talk? No matter what they talked about, Esther’s mind was with Ian, but she appreciated Rachel’s concern and sent her a faint grin. “You start.”
Jeff chuckled, helping to ease the stress for a moment.
“The wedding.” Rachel slid her hand over Jeff’s. “Let’s talk about that.”
“That sounds so good to me.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.
“We decided on a spring wedding.” Rachel turned to Esther. “Naturally, we want you to be our maid of honor, and Ian…” A deathlike pause fell over the room until Rachel lifted her shoulders with renewed spirit. “Ian will be an usher if Jeff’s brother can’t make it. He’s working out of the country right now.”
“If Paul can’t get back, I’d like Ian to be the best man,” Jeff said, completing Rachel’s thoughts.
“That sounds good.” Esther’s mind whirled, picturing Ian dressed in a tuxedo, next imagining him struggling to survive the icy lake water. Her body jerked from exhaustion. “I’m sorry. I can’t sit. I’m too jumpy.” She rose while her gaze settled on the refrigerator. “Anyone hungry?” Her stomach churned at the thought, but she needed to do something.
Rachel and Jeff glanced at each other, then returned their attention to Esther. Each gave her an unconvincing nod.
She knew they were pacifying her need to keep busy, but she didn’t care. “Keep talking about the wedding, and I’ll make us something.”
Esther leaned over and pulled a fry pan from the stove’s bottom drawer, then set it on the burner. Listening to Rachel talk about flowers and dress colors, she opened the refrigerator and located the butter and eggs. No matter how hard she tried, her mind soared away to the lake. To Ian.
Grasping the ingredients, Esther calmed herself before turning to face her sister and Jeff, who watched her with sorrow-filled eyes.
The telephone’s strident ring jolted Esther’s senses. Her limbs weakened while her heart plummeted at the sound. An egg splatted to the floor as Esther stared at the infringing machine, frozen in fear.
Chapter Eighteen
Ian took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of the bunk in darkness and thanking God he was still alive and had survived the storm. Though the boat continued to pitch and toss, his senses assured him a new day would bring calmer water.
He eyed his wristwatch. Grateful it was waterproof, he read the dial. Four in the morning. In his struggle, time had flown. He had to get back on deck and read his GPS so he’d know where he was and could radio the Coast Guard he was safe, but his tired and hungry body yearned for rest.
He stepped into the galley and found a nutrition bar. Not bacon and eggs, but better than nothing. He tore off the wrapper and took a bite, then grasped the railing and headed up the companionway to face the weather.
Though the rain had calmed to a drizzle, a strong wind still gusted out of the darkness. Ian paused a moment to gather his bearings. The bilge pump had done its job and the footwell had drained. He read the global positioning satellite unit and noted his location, then radioed the Coast Guard.
On the horizon, faint lights twinkled like distant stars. It was the shore far off in the distance. He sent up a prayer of thanksgiving. Though the waves were still rough, he’d head as close to shore as he could and then wait for a calm to sail into the channel.
With measured steps he moved to the winch, untied the mainsail and grasped the sheet, studying the wind as it caught the canvas. Confident now, he headed back to the wheel, unlocked it and turned his attention toward the distant shore while searching for channel markers.
The water churned and whipped across the forward deck, but Ian didn’t let his focus stray. Finally he spotted the lights and guided the boat toward them. Green on port. Red on starboard. He reiterated his father’s words. “Red, right, returning.”
His father’s image rose in his thoughts, and he grinned for the first time in hours, grateful for the training he’d received so many years ago. He pictured his father’s rugged, windburned face, his generous smile and strong, steady hands. He hoped that if his father had been watching through the night, he’d been proud.
The picture caught in his mind. If not his earthly father, Ian had no doubt his heavenly Father had guided his craft through the storm. He pictured again Jesus, standing in the boat filled with panicking disciples as He commanded the waves. “Quiet. Be still.” Ian said the words aloud.
Startled by his voice in the darkness, he paused, shaken by the sudden hush of the wind. He relished the quiet and tacked toward the channel markers. A gust rose again, but with less violence, and Ian peered into the horizon and saw a flush of orange melding into dawn’s deep gray.
Another rising sun and a new day. When he made it to the marina, he had to let his friends know he’d survived. Philip rose in his mind…but Esther filled his heart.
Esther stepped over the broken egg and grasped the telephone. Rachel and Jeff rose as if on springs and stood beside her, ears strained toward her.
Her heart pounded as the man’s voice reported the Coast Guard had received a message from Ian. He’d survived the storm and was heading into Saugatuck.
Af
ter disconnecting, she turned to the two eager faces and muttered through her tears, “Coast Guard. He’s safe.”
“Praise God,” Rachel said, hugging Jeff with one arm and Esther with the other.
“Where is he?” Jeff asked.
“Heading to Saugatuck.” Esther’s mind whirred with thoughts. Her deepest desire was to be in Ian’s arms.
“Should we drive down?” Jeff asked.
Esther struggled with the desire to say yes, but wisdom said no. When she saw Ian, she had much to confess, much to say to him alone. “No…thanks. I think I’ll just wait for now.”
Rachel gave his arm a tug. “I think they need some privacy when they see each other, Jeff.”
He nodded as if he’d just remembered the tense situation between them. He stood a minute rubbing his forehead. “I think I’ll take a ride to the resort. Ian will call Philip once he’s in port.”
Esther’s heart lurched. True. If Ian couldn’t make it in to work, he’d notify someone at Bay Breeze. Maybe Philip had learned more about what had happened.
“Want to come along?” Jeff asked her.
She shook her head. “No. You two go ahead.” She hesitated. “But would you call me when you know something?”
“Sure thing,” Jeff said.
Rachel faced Esther, eye-to-eye, resting her hands on her sister’s shoulders. “Are you sure you want me to go? I’ll stay here with you and let Jeff go ahead.”
“No. Thanks. I’ll be fine. I’m beyond fine now that I know Ian’s okay.”
Rachel slid her hand into Jeff’s. “Then we’ll call you as soon as we know something. I’m guessing it will be a couple of hours.”
Esther nodded and watched them leave through the side door, both looking strained and weary.
Though fatigued to the bone, Esther felt revitalized with the news. God had heard her continuous prayers, and her heart filled with thanksgiving. Eyeing her cold coffee, she sank onto a chair with the cup in front of her, too tired to refill it.
But she wasn’t too tired to praise God for His kindness and for His everlasting guidance. She loved Ian, and she’d pushed him away with her senseless concerns and weak faith. She’d used every excuse to force him from her life, fearing he’d do the same to her.
But God hadn’t given up on her and her foolishness, and she prayed Ian hadn’t, either. Esther rested her cheek on the table in a mixture of prayer and planning until her eyes closed and sleep overtook her.
Esther jerked awake, and remembered Rachel’s promise to call if she heard anything. But she hadn’t called.
Esther began to calculate. If Ian had headed for Saugatuck, then when the storm ended and the water calmed he would return to Loving. She figured he’d be back by late afternoon.
Esther gaped at the clock. Nearly four. She’d planned to be at the marina waiting for Ian. She gripped the arm of the sofa, her thoughts flying in all directions. Why had she been so careless? She pushed herself up and swayed before gaining her balance.
Her stomach churned from hunger. The breakfast that she’d thought to make had ended with the early-morning telephone call. Her sustenance for the day had been a few sips of coffee.
She pushed the thought of food aside and hurried toward her bedroom. If she were to meet Ian at the marina, she had no time to spare. After rinsing her face and brushing a daub of makeup on her face, she pulled out clean slacks and a knit top from her closet, then dressed with speed.
Outside the day remained dreary. Clouds still blocked the sun, but the rain had passed and the wind had calmed. She unlocked her car and set out toward the marina.
Esther’s mind ached from thought. She’d reviewed her lonely, self-sufficient life many times, comparing it to her new world with Ian. Days filled with fun. Evenings touched by a kiss or a caress. At one time, she’d never cared about those emotions, but having enjoyed her relationship with Ian…having grown to love him, life seemed dreary and empty without him.
God had been faithful, despite her lack of trust in Him. She’d feared sailing for so many years, feared taking a chance on loving because loving opened the possibility of losing someone. Losing her heart.
But that was in the past. She’d lost her heart to Ian already, and she prayed God would give her a chance to beg his forgiveness. A chance to tell him her life would never be complete without him. She prayed Ian felt the same.
Controlling her heavy foot on the gas pedal, she pulled into the marina parking lot. From a distance, she looked down the pier, searching for the sight of Lady Day. If Ian had already come and gone, she had no idea what she would do. Would she have the courage to go to his home to plead for his love?
As she neared the pier, disappointment charged through her body. Her feet resounded along the planks, and the thud of her steps matched the pounding of her heart. Ian’s boat was tethered in the slip, but Ian was nowhere in sight.
Her emotions seesawed between joy and frustration. Her shoulders drooped, knowing she’d missed his homecoming, missed letting him know how sorry she was for everything she’d done. Here and now she was motivated to tell him the truth—she loved him. If she waited, Esther feared she would lose her nerve.
She knew she was foolish to stand there, staring at Lady Day. A chill ran through her, and the cold breeze whipped through her hair. She brushed it back from her face while pulling her jacket more tightly around her with the other hand.
Despite her disappointment, she thanked God for Ian’s safety. Lady Day looked as sturdy as the last time she’d seen it.
Lady Day. She stepped closer. Her head tilted upward, reading the name emblazoned on the hull. Not Lady Day, but Lady Esther. Her pulse tripped and longing rolled along her limbs like flames, burning her with desire to see Ian. He did love her. The boat’s name testified to that and chased away her prodding doubts.
Fired by the new awareness, she felt courage charge through her again. Today. Tomorrow. Nothing would stop her confessing her love. Nothing.
“Esther.”
His voice sailed on the wind and drew her like steel shavings to a magnet. She turned and saw him only feet away.
Ian opened his arms, his tired face filled with hope.
She didn’t hesitate, but ran to him, her heart and mind captured in the warmth of his embrace.
Ian’s lips met hers, cold to the touch, but heated by the love that needed no words.
“I’m so sorry…for everything,” Esther said. “Forgive me.”
“Sorry? No. I should beg your forgiveness. I ran off like a scared possum with my tail dragging instead of being honest. I’ve loved you for…forever, Esther.”
His deep affection brightened his eyes, and Esther’s world stood still. “I love you, Ian. I’ve never been so frightened when I thought I’d lost you. Never. But God gave me a kick, and I realized that all I needed was faith. Life is nothing without you.”
“We’ve both been senseless,” Ian said. “When I was on the boat—”
“Lady Esther,” she said, gazing into his hooded eyes.
He nodded. “Yes…on Lady Esther. I realized I’m only a complete person when I’m with you. We were both afraid to take a chance, Esther. Taking chances can hurt. Taking chances can cause sadness. But without taking the step, we have no chance at all to know what love is.”
She tiptoed to reach his lips, brushing them with kisses. Kisses so sweet she thought her heart would melt.
As she lowered her heels to the ground, the wind gusted, and a chill ran the full length of her body.
Ian drew her closer. “We’d better get you inside before you get sick.” He nuzzled her head with his cheek. “I’d just called you…but you weren’t home.”
“I was here waiting for you.”
“And now I’m here.” He slid his arm around her waist and turned her toward the marina.
As if God said amen, the clouds parted and the sun beamed through the opening, splashing its golden rays along the worn planks and sparkling its diamonds on the churning wa
ter below them.
“Hungry?” he asked.
“Only for you,” she said, remembering his line from long ago.
“Food now,” he said. “We’ll talk wedding plans later.”
“Wedding what?” she said, her pulse accelerating.
“You don’t think I’m letting you get away from me again. Lady Esther is a nice name for a boat. But Esther Barry is a wonderful name for a wife.”
“Mrs. Ian Barry. I like the sound,” she said.
“I love it.”
Ian didn’t care who would see them through the marina’s restaurant window. He paused on the sidewalk and captured her lips with a kiss…a kiss offering the woman he cherished all the love in his heart.
Epilogue
A Saturday in May
“I’m shaking like a leaf,” Rachel said, running her hand along the empire waist of her white satin gown. “I think I’m going to cry.”
“No tears,” Esther said. “You don’t see me crying.”
Rachel laughed. “You’re always in control.”
Esther’s mind soared back to so many times recently she’d lost total control. “Not always.”
“I’ll always think of you that way,” Rachel said. She paused and raised her hand to Esther’s hair. “You look so beautiful.”
“Me? You’re absolutely radiant,” Esther said, giving her sister a hug.
A knock sounded, and Esther stepped toward the bridal-room door and pulled it open. “Is it time?”
Her aunt gave a nod. “Everyone’s ready.”
Esther smiled. “We’ll be there in a minute.”
Her aunt gave her a wink and headed back toward the sanctuary.
She looked at Rachel. “It’s time.”
Time. The word filled Esther’s heart. For everything God had a purpose, and today she would witness God’s purpose fulfilled. These past months, Esther had seen a new Jeff—quieter, deeper and more devoted to Rachel than he’d ever been.
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