by Carol Ross
A long moment of silence had passed before Hannah slowly smiled and said, “I’m surprised I didn’t see it sooner. The way he asks about you and talks about you. I just thought he was interested because your life is so unique. And because, you know.” She’d pulled one shoulder up into a shrug. “You’re like a little sister.” Eyes going wide, she’d amended, “But not, obviously.”
“It’s okay,” Hazel had chuckled. “I know it must be a bit shocking. He talks about me?” she’d asked, not caring if it made her sound needy and vulnerable. Because she sort of was, wasn’t she? She was about to put her heart on the line. Again. Sure, this time, she wasn’t a naive nineteen-year-old, but still, she was unsure about how he’d react. Any proof of his affection that Hannah could provide would be a boost to her confidence.
“Yep. He’s always commenting on where you are, what you’re doing, where you’re going next. Or asking, ‘Have you read Hazel’s latest blog? Did you see Hazel’s post about her jet boat ride on Whatever-a-among-a River in New Zealand? Did you know she was trekking alone in Nepal?’”
Hazel had to laugh at Hannah’s attempt to recall the name of the New Zealand river.
“I’m glad it’s you, tiny triplet.” The use of Hannah’s childhood nickname for her, along with the support, had brought tears to her eyes. “Now that I’m thinking about it, considering all the angles, you guys are, like, a perfect match. So much in common, adventurous, independent and the same sweet spirit.”
“Thank you, Hannah. I’m glad it’s me, too.” She’d grinned. “Now I just need to convince Cricket. It’s going to help to have your blessing.”
“About that.” Hannah’s gaze had zeroed in on her then, this time with the candor, firmness and no-nonsense response she’d expected from her sister. “I don’t think I need to point out to you what’s on the line for Cricket here?”
“No, you don’t.”
“Good, because it’s massive.” She’d held her arms wide. “Like, glacier size.”
“I know,” Hazel had said, respecting her sister’s protectiveness of him.
“I love you both. But if it doesn’t work out, you have to know that I will not choose. No matter what. Cricket is the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s one of the best men on the planet. Period. And I will not get caught in the middle of any drama, nor will I set my friendship with him aside.”
“I know,” she’d said again, her words low and raspy due to the emotion crowding her chest. She nodded and cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“And Mom and Dad mean the world to him. I honestly believe he is Mom’s favorite. Shay thinks that she is, but she’s wrong. It’s totally Cricket. And he deserves it. He treats Mom like a queen. Well, he reveres Dad, too, for that matter.”
“I get that, Hannah. I swear, I do.” She might not have before, but she believed she did now.
“Speaking of friends, does Tag know?”
“No. I don’t see the point in telling him until I’m sure that Cricket is willing to give this a go.”
“Makes sense. Our big brother is going to freak. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
From that point on, it had been a whirlwind, planning the date and making arrangements. Hannah had enthusiastically gifted her the concert tickets, called the Hotel Ophelia and put the room she’d reserved in Hazel’s name. Iris had insisted on handling dinner reservations, and then Ashley had pulled off the flight without rousing Tag’s suspicion.
And now here she stood, uncertain and terrified. What would he do when he saw her? She couldn’t shake the notion that his initial reaction would tell her a lot. Would he be upset? And how was she going to go about explaining everything? She hadn’t thought past the logistics. Maybe she should go up to her room and text him first? Yes, she needed to think this through, lay the groundwork, tell him she was here and ask if he’d—
“Hazel?”
She felt his hand on her shoulder at the same instant that she heard his voice. A shock went through her, both from his touch and because he’d approached from behind.
“You need to quit sneaking up on me in faraway places,” she said, turning to face him and trying to smile. She inhaled a deep, steadying breath but all that did was overwhelm her with the scent of him. As if the sight of him weren’t enough to leave her reeling. A long moment passed, her frozen with indecision, him peering at her curiously, waiting for her to say something.
“Hazel,” he finally urged. “What are you doing here?”
She puffed out a nervous chuckle. “For some reason, I thought you’d come through the front entrance, so I was watching the door. It didn’t occur to me that you’d already be here.”
His sweetly curious expression transformed into one of confusion. “You’ve been waiting for me?”
“Yes. Sort of, um...”
“What’s going on?” he asked, glancing around. “Are you here with Hannah and Tate?”
With no clever or witty explanation occurring to her, she went with blunt. “No. So, here’s the deal—Hannah and Tate aren’t coming.”
At his frown, Hazel felt a fresh wave of doubt. He pulled his phone from his pocket and took a quick glance. “I’ve been checking my phone, and she hasn’t texted. Is everything okay?”
“Oh! Yes, it’s fine. She’s fine. They’re fine. I’m— Okay. That’s... Wow. I’m astonishingly good with pronouns, huh?” she tried to joke, but the frantic pounding inside of her head made it difficult to think. Well, that, and the second-guessing of herself.
Concern flickered across his face as his gaze narrowed in on her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” He didn’t look convinced, and she realized she’d better start talking. Where to start? “Remember when I texted, asking you if we could talk?”
He flinched. It was slight, but she saw it, nonetheless. And combined with the flicker of regret in his green eyes, she suddenly felt like crying. This was a stupid plan. Why had she thought this sort of grand gesture would be effective? Cricket was not a grand-gesture type of person. And neither was she. She’d been horrified when Ashley had attempted one on Seth. Seth knew that. Why hadn’t Seth talked her out of this?
“Uh, yeah,” he answered carefully. “Are you saying you flew all the way here to Anchorage tonight so we could talk?”
“No. Well, yes. Sort of.” Get it together, Hazel. She counted to five and then said, “I flew all the way here to ask you out on a date.”
“You... What?”
“Cricket, I’m so sorry. Kai and I aren’t seeing each other. We never were. Nothing romantic there at all. I can see how you thought so, though, since I told you we were on a date in Utah. That wasn’t even a real date, I mean, not a romantic one. And then, in Juneau, I let you believe it because I thought if I told you the truth, you might...”
He hadn’t moved a muscle. Even his face looked like it was carved from stone.
Desperate, she tried to give him an out. “You know what? This seemed like a good idea when Iris proposed it. You know how enthusiastic she can get with her schemes.” Sure, blame Iris for her own bad decision. “I got caught up, and now I feel...silly. And then when Seth didn’t talk me out of it...” Yeah, throw Seth under the bus, too. She was such a good sister. “No, never mind, that’s not fair. I take full responsibility, and I’m—”
“Wait,” he interrupted gently. “You’re not seeing Kai? He wasn’t your date and is not your boyfriend?”
“No, no and no. And at the risk of repeating myself—never. Not interested.”
Looking thoughtful, he tipped his head, no doubt still trying to catch up with her ramblings. He asked, “What are you sorry about?”
“About taking Hannah’s and Tate’s concert tickets and showing up here in their place. About letting Iris make us a dinner reservation, and then flying this far without asking if you wanted a date fi
rst.” Her cheeks were hot and flaming, and prickles of embarrassment paraded all along her back and across her scalp. The nervous sweat was a nice touch, too, and added to her despair. She might not be nineteen anymore, but she certainly felt that way.
“I see. So, why didn’t you ask me?”
“Because I was afraid that if I asked, you would say no.”
“Hazel.” His eyes closed for a few seconds as he inhaled a breath. When he opened them again, his green eyes were flashing with intensity and heat. A whole lot of heat.
He held her gaze, and his voice went low and soft. “After all these years, after all the looks, the touches, the tension, the...moments that have passed between us? Me, flying to South America and then Utah to find you, to see you. Just to know that you were safe. The meddling and the advice and the argument in Florida.” His eyes dipped to her mouth and lingered there for a couple of sexy seconds before adding, “The kiss.”
Hazel’s blood went hot, firing through her veins. Her entire body felt heavy and tingly.
But he wasn’t finished. Gaze lifting to catch hers again, he continued, “Then there was the raging jealousy over Kai, resulting in my confession in Juneau. After all of that, plus an eternity spent trying to get you out of my head, do you really believe that I would be capable of telling you no?”
Joy blossomed inside of her, filling all the space, pushing out all the last bits of doubt. Was this actually happening?
“In that case...” Lifting both hands, she slipped them beneath his open jacket and flattened her palms on his chest. The sharp intake of his breath had her confidence soaring, her hands sliding up and her lips curving into a smile as she asked, “Can I kiss you?”
* * *
CRICKET DIDN’T CARE. He just didn’t care anymore. What he’d told Hazel was true. He’d reached his limit and didn’t have the strength to fight this anymore. Even if it meant complicating every important relationship in his life, so be it. He’d risk it all just to kiss her again, to hold her.
“Yes.” He wound his arms around her, one low on her hip and the other curled around her neck. Dipping his head, he met her mouth for a kiss that was hot and sweet and just completely...honest.
For once, he let go and showed her all the emotion he’d kept bottled up for so long. He wouldn’t have believed the reality of this moment could ever live up to either a ten-year-old memory or the fantasy he’d harbored ever since. But it did.
It was even better. Because this time, he was all in. There was no stopping too soon, no excuse-making, no walking away. No regrets. Except... He suddenly realized they were kissing in the lobby of a busy hotel.
Keeping his arms around her, he broke away just enough to nuzzle her neck and catch his breath. Then he shifted to look at her face. Eyes soft and hazy, mouth curling up at the corners, she appeared every bit as dazed as he felt.
“Hey,” he said gently in opposition to his still-wildly-beating heart.
“Well,” she quipped, because, of course, Hazel would make a joke when they were like this, “this evening is going exactly as I planned.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“SO, IF HANNAH gave you her concert tickets, that means she knows...?” Cricket drew out the question. Snuggled together on the sofa of his hotel room, where they’d headed from the lobby, Hazel drank in the gorgeous cityscape splayed outside the window below them, made even more extraordinary by the glimmer and sparkle of holiday lights. “About all of this?”
“Yes.” Hazel nodded. “And she took it better than I expected, although she basically told me that if things ever got ugly between us, she would choose you.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “We both know that’s not true.”
“I don’t know that at all. Seth, Iris and I—Mom, too, I think—we credit you with bringing Hannah back into the family fold, so to speak. But yes, Hannah and Tate, Iris, obviously, Seth and Victoria all know. And Mom and Dad.”
“Wait, your mom and dad know?”
“That’s a big reason why I’m here. Mom sort of helped me see things differently.” Hazel recapped the conversation she and Margaret had had over candy making. “She told me about going to you that summer and talking about...me. Which is super embarrassing.” She paused to cringe. “She said you promised her that you could be trusted with me. That day, after I kissed you, I remember you saying that you broke a promise. I assumed you meant like some sort of bro-pact you’d made with Tag. But you were talking about Mom, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he admitted and then let out a groan. “Breaking that promise was difficult to live with. So many times, I thought about confessing or...”
“Confessing to what, though?” She reached over and took his hand, and he entwined his fingers with hers, and she didn’t think she’d ever get over the novelty of touching him. “I kissed you.”
“I knew how you felt about me, Hazel. That’s why your mom came and talked to me, to make sure I understood what I was dealing with. The whole point was for me to avoid that sort of behavior.”
“What you were dealing with? You mean like a lovestruck teenager?” She added a bark of laughter. “Trust me—I knew what I was doing, Cricket. I shouldn’t have kissed you that day. I took advantage of your kindness. I should never have put you in that situation. If Mom and Dad knew what happened, how you reacted, they’d only be more impressed with your behavior. I was—” she searched for a word “—shameless. And you did the right thing by sending me away.”
He appeared to be thinking this over, so she leaned in to kiss him again because, seriously, they had years to make up for, and she didn’t want to waste another minute musing about the past. Cricket seemed to have the same thought because he didn’t hesitate to gather her close, and there was an urgency this time, mixed with the sweetness.
Finally, she pushed away enough to see his eyes. “Still shameless, apparently,” she whispered.
“Fine by me,” he shot back. His expression was brimming with affection and his self-satisfied smirk was so adorable that she almost kissed him again.
“When we were in Utah, and you told me about how you interpreted what I said to mean that I didn’t care about you the same way, I felt—I feel—terrible about that. Because nothing could be further from the truth. But I’ve always known that if I ever admitted the truth, there’d be no going back.”
No going back. That was the part she loved the most.
“I understand all of that now,” she said and thought, I love you. The words lay heavy and restless on her heart. Like they’d been tethered there for too long, and she needed to free them. Probably too soon to spring a declaration of love on him. Which was funny because how could something this old feel new? “I wish I would have figured all of this out sooner.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he said. “It was only seeing you with Kai that made me realize that my feelings were never going to go away.” She cuddled against him, laying her head on his chest.
He paused, thinking. “I told myself I could handle it. If I could just enjoy your company until you went to college, you would forget about me and move on.”
Hazel said, “Mom told me she thought—hoped—we would end up together someday. But she wanted us both to be sure. And she wondered if I could even be sure of how I felt at nineteen. Does that change things for you?”
* * *
“YES, IT DOES,” Cricket said. And it was true; those words changed everything. At this point, he’d been willing to take a risk without knowing for sure Margaret and Ben would be supportive, but the thought that he wouldn’t have to was the headiest sort of relief.
“I thought it might,” she answered softly, and Cricket loved her even more for understanding. For not telling him that her parents’ approval didn’t matter when they both knew that it did. He couldn’t let himself think about what might happen if this didn’t work out. Because now that he
had her, he couldn’t let her go.
Although... “Couldn’t help but notice that your list of family members currently in the know did not include Tag.”
“Yeah, I didn’t see the point in going there until I knew for sure that you’d... That we would, you know, proceed.”
“Have you given that any thought? How to tell him?”
“I was thinking we’d tell him together. He’ll be fine once he hears the whole story,” Hazel declared confidently.
Cricket wasn’t so sure. She didn’t know her brother quite as well as he did. Tag had always counted on Cricket to have his back. He was not going to be pleased that he’d gone behind it to pursue his sister. How was he going to explain to his best friend that he was in love with his sister? His much younger sister. And, not only that, but he’d also loved her for years and never said a single word. A quiet minute passed, and he decided to let the matter go for now. No point in speculating about a conversation he had no trouble putting off for the evening. Or for as long as possible.
“So, tell me about this date you came here to treat me to.”
“Better yet,” she said, sitting upright. “Let me show you.”
* * *
THE FIRST STOP on their date that Hazel had planned included dinner at Lulu’s, a mutual favorite restaurant that served filet mignon in portions much larger than a taste. Only moments after they entered the place and gave their name, a young woman appeared and showed them to a secluded table in a corner near the Christmas tree.
They sat, and the hostess said, “I understand you two are celebrating tonight?”
Eyebrows nudging upward, Hazel grinned at Cricket. “I’m guessing Iris assumed that if we made it here for our reservation, we’d be celebrating.” To the hostess, she answered, “Yes, we are.”
“Fabulous! We’re thrilled that you chose Lulu’s for your special occasion. My name is Janna, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. I understand that Iris is your sister?”