Her concerns were selfish ones. She considered what Natalie’s presence would do to her social life, her sex life. How could she explain what was going on? Turning toward Beth, she met her eyes and read the worry in them.
She had never been close to Natalie. Fifteen years separated them, but Nicky had never experienced the maternal feelings she knew some older sisters have toward their younger siblings.
Her mother said worriedly, “Your father and I are at the end of our wits with what to do with her. She drinks. We think she uses marijuana.”
Strangling the laugh rising up her throat, Nicky said, “Mom, every kid does some marijuana these days. What would I do with her? I can’t make her listen to me.”
“Put her to work. Mowing, working in the garden, putting up vegetables, even taking care of the horse.”
“Meg takes care of Brittle,” Nicky muttered, feeling out of sorts. She sat down and put her chin in her hand. She wanted desperately to discuss the request with Beth. “Let me think about it. Okay?”
Her mother sighed. “All right, Nicole, but don’t think long. She’s packed and ready to stay. It took a lot of convincing to get her here. She said you wouldn’t want her.”
Nicky stiffened. Her mother’s sighs had never ceased to bother her. “Want a cup of coffee?” she asked.
“In this heat? How about a glass of iced tea?”
“Coming up.” She took a pitcher out of the refrigerator. “Want one, Beth?”
There was no chance to discuss with Beth Natalie’s staying. Feeling as if she had once more been bowled over by her parents, Nicky agreed to take her little sister in. She even accepted a generous check from her father for the cost of putting her up. She thought grimly that her financial woes were solved, but the solution might be worse than the problem.
Nicky gave Natalie an upstairs bedroom. “Terrific,” she muttered as she watched her sister drag an enormous suitcase up the stairs. For the first time that day, she and Beth were alone.
Beth smiled wryly. “Looks like it’s going to be a long hot summer.”
“Come on,” Nicky said, taking Beth by the hand, leading her to the barn. They slipped through the large double doors and climbed the ladder to the hay mow. Nicky placed an old blanket on the prickly straw and hay strewn across the floor. She smiled into Beth’s hazel eyes. “It’s the best I can do.”
“I’m not this desperate,” Beth said, sneezing at the dust floating in the evening air. A few flies buzzed lazily in the nearly horizontal rays of sun leaking through the gaps in the warped siding.
“Come on. What’s the difference between here and the field. It’s all grass. This is just drier.” Nicky dropped to her knees, heard them crack. She tugged at Beth until she joined her. “I’m sorry, Beth. I still can’t say no to my parents.”
“You’re conditioned, sweetie.” Beth kissed her on the mouth.
“I know.” Nicky lay on her side, taking Beth down with her. The hay and straw poked her through the blanket.
Beth murmured into Nicky’s mouth, “I thought I was too old for uncomfortable sex.”
Nicky unbuttoned Beth’s shirt and breathed softly on her nipples through the white cotton undershirt. She didn’t remove Beth’s clothing or her own. It offered some protection from the uncomfortable bedding. Instead, she reached inside Beth’s underwear to caress her into passionate response.
***
When Nicky returned to the house, having seen Beth off, she found her sister on the living room couch with the television on. Nicky seldom watched TV during the warm months, although she sometimes buried herself in movies in the dark cold of winter. “What are you watching?”
Natalie grunted. “I don’t even know.”
“Can we turn it off then? Put on some music?” When her sister shrugged indifferently, Nicky turned on the CD player.
Natalie groaned at the classical music. “You got any Springsteen?” she asked.
“I’ve got Bonnie Raitt,” Nicky said, changing the CD. She started for the porch with Scrappy close on her heels. “I’m going out here. Want to join me?” She stretched full-length on the chaise lounge and smiled in the dark when Natalie plodded after her.
“That dog has a bad case of the cutes,” her sister said, plopping onto a lawn chair.
Nicky laughed a little. “I think he knows it, too.” She realized that she hardly knew this young woman, even though she had known her all her life. “Mom said you have a lot of reading to do,” she said quietly, thinking that the darkness protected them from each other.
“I do if I’m going to stay at the university. You never graduated.”
Nicky could feel Natalie’s eyes on her. “I know,” she murmured. “All I ever wanted to do was take pictures. What is it you want to do?”
The girl snorted. “Who knows?”
“Well, what do you like to do?”
“Cook. Your friend? Beth? She’s a good cook. But I’m better,” she stated flatly.
Nicky smiled to herself, quite willing never to fix another meal. “Then you can cook for us. Do you like to do anything else? Clean? Garden? Mow? Take care of horses?”
“Gonna use me for slave labor?”
“Yes,” Nicky said, pleased when her sister’s laughter joined her own.
***
The next morning, Monday, Nicky left a note for Natalie on the kitchen table—a list of things that needed to be done. Scrappy chased her truck to the end of the driveway before turning back.
Her vacation over, a sunburned Margo took care of the counter. Nicky closeted herself in the back room with the large number of framing orders. With the radio on and a pot of coffee by her side, she worked nonstop until five-thirty, and then only quit because Natalie was at the house.
Parking next to the Rabbit, still unsure of how to greet Meg, she was relieved to see her riding in the pasture. She headed for the house to change her clothes and reached the back door before realizing what was missing. Scrappy was nowhere to be seen. Opening the screen door, she entered the empty house.
She changed from cotton slacks and blouse to shorts and tank top and went back outdoors. Meg was riding toward the barn with easy grace, her body moving with the horse’s rhythm. Nicky took a deep breath and walked to meet her through the long grass. Brittle swished his tail and stomped his feet at the flies he attracted.
“I met your sister. She looks a lot like you,” Meg said.
“I suppose. She has the same color hair and eyes. Do you know where she is? Scrappy isn’t even around.”
“I saw them go off down the road a couple hours ago. They’ll be back. She here for a visit?”
“She’s here for the summer,” Nicky said with a short laugh, working the ground with the toe of one tennis shoe.
“Really? How nice.” Meg smiled, her face rosy in the sun. “You disappeared Sunday morning. I had to leave before you came back.” She ran a hand along the side of Brittle’s long neck.
Nicky’s face grew hot and she looked away. It felt like an invasion of privacy to suspect that someone had been in bed with her without her knowledge or consent. She took a deep breath and decided to confront the issue head-on. “You didn’t sleep on the couch Saturday night, did you?” She squinted up at Meg who had the sun behind her, turning her ash blonde hair golden.
Meg’s smile became mischievous. “So you knew?”
“No, I didn’t know. I guessed.” She tried to sound annoyed. “Don’t do that again.”
“I’ll ask next time.”
“Don’t ask either. I’m involved.”
Brittle rested a hind foot, shifting Meg’s weight.
He tried to lower his head to graze, but Meg lifted the reins. “I know. With Beth, who’s married.”
Scrappy shot out of the grass like a small black missile and bounced off Nicky’s legs. Startled, she pushed him away and saw her sister walking toward them.
“Checking out the neighborhood?” Nicky inquired.
“I was down the road at
Dan’s. He gave me a ride on his tractor. Nice guy.”
“Yeah, he is,” Nicky said.
“I did everything on the list, except the mowing. I’ll do that tomorrow if you’ll show me how to start the mower. Neil always does it at home.”
The names of Nicky’s siblings all began with N. Besides Neil and herself and Natalie, there was Nancy, who was married and had two children. Nicky wondered if her parents had planned the five years between each of their offspring, just as they had chosen names with the same first letter.
She also wondered if they had given their children ordinary names because their own names were unusual. Her father, Ward, carried his mother’s maiden name. Her grandfather had nicknamed his daughter Cleo, because she behaved like a little queen. She still did, Nicky thought.
Natalie said to Meg, “You promised me a ride. I’m going to hold you to it.”
Meg jumped to the ground, and Natalie grabbed the front of the saddle and the horn, put one foot in the stirrup, and struggled up. “Man, it’s a long way down,” she said, looking nervous.
“I’ll lead him.” Meg continued on foot toward the barn.
Wanting to be alone, Nicky headed for the creek.
Scrappy disappeared in the long growth ahead of her. Queen Anne’s lace bobbed over the tops of the tall grasses, which bent in shimmering waves before the evening breeze.
Chapter Five
Tan and robust, looking freshly scrubbed and clad in clean jeans and shirt, Dan appeared at the back door on Friday evening. Nicky greeted him with surprise. She didn’t mean to be rude. She just didn’t know what to make of his presence until Natalie showed up, also dressed to go out.
“You’re early,” Natalie said.
He grinned broadly. “Am I? I can go home and start over.”
Nicky stepped back from them. She felt foolish and a little miffed, wondering why Natalie hadn’t told her to expect him. “Come on in, Dan.”
He sat at the kitchen table for a few minutes of friendly talk. “You want to go with us?” he asked Nicky.
Nicky, who was cleaning up after Natalie’s cooking, cringed at his polite offer. “Thanks, but I have plans. I just didn’t know you and Natalie had a date.”
“Kind of quick, huh?” He grinned again, looking slightly silly.
“Well, I don’t know about that. I don’t know how often you see each other. I’m gone all day.”
His smile vanished as he sought to reassure her. “Oh, we just talk while I work. Sometimes we talk while she works.”
Nicky couldn’t accuse her sister of not doing her fair share. Natalie had done everything asked of her. She heard them drive off in Dan’s Chevy truck. Imagining her mother’s reaction to this latest development, she mentally prepared her own defense. She had warned her mother that she couldn’t control her sister.
Scrappy lay near the door—a heap of hair with no evident beginning or end. She had lied, having planned nothing for the evening. Beth was with her family; Meg was probably with Denise. There were only casual friends and acquaintances to call. She had let close friendships fall by the wayside while waiting for Beth to fill her weekends. During the intervening six years between Beth’s marriage and the resumption of their affair, Nicky had taken three lovers—none very satisfying or long lasting.
Calling the dog to go with her to feed Brittle, she realized that Meg had not fulfilled her promise to always care for the horse. More often than not, Nicky fed him. She had even picked up grain for him during the week, for which Meg had promised to reimburse her. But although she had seen Meg twice since, she hadn’t forked over any money. Nicky wondered if she would pay next month’s board on time. Meg and Natalie planned to attend a horse show together Sunday. Dan had offered to haul Brittle in his stock trailer. Now Nicky understood why.
Brittle always came running at feeding time, which never failed to alarm her. She dumped the grain into the feed tub from behind the safety of the fence whenever possible. When it wasn’t, she rushed in and out of the enclosure. Scrappy barked and snapped, posturing from a distance. Wisely, he kept out of Brittle’s reach.
As Nicky stood watching the horse eat, Meg drove in. Fending off Scrappy’s friendly welcome, she joined Nicky at the fence.
“I didn’t expect you tonight.” Nicky smiled, pleased to have company.
“I didn’t expect me either, but I got paid today.” She handed Nicky the money she owed her for grain. “And Denise is gone again for the weekend.” She rested her arms on the top of the fence and eyed Brittle critically. “I think he looks better, more in shape. Don’t you?”
Nicky looked at Meg. “He looks terrific.”
Meg threw an arm around her, gave her a squeeze. “Thanks for taking him in. I’ve watched horses come and go. I don’t care what anybody says. They know when they’ve been sold and are distressed when they have to leave friends and familiar surroundings. As big as they are, they have no control over their lives.”
“He doesn’t have any friends here,” Nicky pointed out.
“That’s what I was getting to,” Meg continued. “He needs a companion.”
Nicky was wary. “Another horse?”
“I know a nice pony that’s for sale. Maybe Beth would like to buy him for Matt.”
“You’ll have to suggest that to her.”
“Is she going to bring Matt out tomorrow?”
“She said she was.”
They drove to look at the pony the next day. Nicky and Matt sat in the back of Beth’s Probe, hot wind washing over them from the open sunroof. Matt talked nonstop.
Prancing in his stall, the pony nickered excitedly. To Nicky he looked like a horse. His eyes were large and prominent, his neck crested, his body long and narrow. Named Sweet Tater, perhaps for his deep red coat, he was big enough for Meg to ride. She put Matt on his back when she got off.
While Matt jounced around the small enclosure on Tater, Meg prevailed upon Beth. “It’s hard to find a good pony. You want him to move like a horse and this one does. You want him to be gentle and kind like Tater here. I can give Matt lessons on the pony instead of on Brittle, and in time, maybe we can go to the open shows together.”
Nicky thought Meg had missed her calling. She should have been a saleswoman, persuading even Nicky that Tater would be a good investment.
“I’ll think about it,” Beth promised.
But Matthew begged for the pony, and Beth finally gave in. With Tater came his tack. They promised to pick him up the first of the week. The pony whinnied when they left his small barn. Nicky wondered if he called from loneliness and smiled when Matthew patted his neck, promising to return for him.
Meg stayed late enough that night that Nicky didn’t object when she suggested she sleep on the couch. “Why go home now when I have to get up so early in the morning?” Natalie had gone to her room earlier in the evening and left them alone on the porch, where Meg had cleaned tack for tomorrow’s show.
Stretching, Nicky undressed in her bedroom and crawled between the sheets.
“I appreciate this,” Meg called from the other room.
“S’okay,” Nicky murmured before falling asleep.
***
She woke late to Scrappy barking. Walking barefoot through the house, Nicky looked through the windows and saw Brittle clamber into Dan’s trailer, watched Meg climb into the truck with Dan and Natalie and drive away. She and Beth would have the day to themselves. They’d just have to get their loving in early.
Still dispensing heat, the evening sun skimmed distant treetops when Tater and Brittle, snorting excitement, raced to meet each other in the pasture. Nicky, with Beth’s check in her pocket, thought wryly that her financial worries might really be over.
She had hoped that Beth would solve her money difficulties by moving in with her. Instead, she gave her Tater as a consolation prize. A horse, a pony and a sister to board.
Matt sat on top of a fence post. Nicky watched Natalie hoist herself into Dan’s truck. As they towed th
e stock trailer out the driveway, Nicky wondered if they had done it yet, if that’s what they did at his place. For the life of her she couldn’t figure out what she should do about their mutual attraction, if anything.
Brittle dwarfed the pony, but if Tater was intimidated, he gave no indication of it. They circled each other, touched noses, snorted some more, lifted their front feet off the ground in mock rears and their rumps in half-hearted kicks, and ended up grazing side by side.
Meg relaxed her stance. “You never know if they’re going to get along, but they’re herd animals. They don’t like to be alone.” She patted Matthew on the back. “Well, cowboy, when do you want to start riding?”
“And you said he was a city boy,” Nicky remarked to Beth.
Beth disarmed her with a smile. “What does a mother know?”
When Beth turned the Probe out of the driveway and Meg followed in the Rabbit, Nicky looked back toward the crossroads west of her place. Her heart leaped when she saw a car there, ominously dark against the fading light. She made an effort to establish make and model and color when it cruised slowly past her driveway in the direction Beth and Meg had taken. She guessed it to be a Toyota Celica, judging from the taillights that resembled cat’s eyes.
At the Art Barn the next day, as Nicky framed her enlargements of Meg riding Brittle, she mulled over her phone conversation with Beth last night.
Beth had been amused. “It’s the artist in you, your vivid imagination. But I’ll check to see what my more dangerous clients drive.”
Nicky wasn’t reassured. “I’m scared for you, Beth. Look in your rearview mirror.”
“I will, sweetie. I promise.”
Showing the newly framed photos to Margo, she told her about her planned horse series. “What do you think?” When Margo didn’t comment, she persisted, “Be honest. Do you think it’s a dumb idea?”
Margo took the enlargement of Meg and Brittle silhouetted against the sunset and hung it next to the red maple in the field. She spoke in a choked voice. “Things aren’t good, Nicky.”
“What do you mean?” Nicky asked, immediately worried.
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