“Your Grace?”
Bella turned and felt her heart sink when she saw what Emily was holding. Her assistant had stayed at the main house to await news from the one child who hadn’t yet replied to her invitation.
“Lord Maxwell won’t be coming,” Emily said as she handed a floral card to Bella. “He sent flowers—your favorite, hyacinths—along with the note.”
“Thank you, Emily,” Bella said as she took the note. She opened it and read:
Dear Mother,
Sorry I can’t be with you to celebrate. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of company without me. I’ll see you when you return home.
Max
The note sounded cold to Bella. It was certainly missing any sort of affection. Not Love, Max or even Your loving son, Max. Just Max. No XXXs or OOOs—no kisses or hugs.
Bella felt her throat swell with emotion. She swallowed over the painful lump that formed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged or kissed one of her children. They’d been gone at school so much. That had been her choice, of course. It had seemed safer to keep them out of the line of fire while she and Bull were lobbing verbal grenades in the years before they’d finally moved into separate homes.
But the war had gone on for far too long. When she’d finally brought her sons home to Blackthorne Abbey on holiday, she’d found them aloof. And nothing she’d said or done had been able to melt the wall of ice that had grown between them.
The younger boys had followed Oliver’s lead. Because of the rumors that had surrounded her eldest son’s birth, Oliver had learned early how to fight back. He won the battle against the gossips by not caring what others thought…or felt.
Consequently, her eldest son had a ruthless streak that ran deep. Oliver wasn’t entirely heartless. He clearly loved his younger brothers and sister. But he was unforgiving. And he could be cold-blooded, as he had been when he’d refused her invitation for Mother’s Day without a stitch of Riley’s politeness or Payne’s tact or Max’s apology or Lydia’s kindness.
Her eldest son was a bitter man. Perhaps it was time to tell him who his father was. And how he had been conceived. Then his rancor toward the world could be aimed where it truly belonged.
Was that really fair? Would the truth make her son’s life better? Or a hundred times worse? By unburdening herself, wouldn’t she be adding to the malignant weight her son had carried all his life?
“Your Grace? Are you feeling well?” Emily asked.
Bella realized her heart was pounding. “I’m fine,” she said. “Sit down, Emily. Get out of the sun.”
Emily smiled and said. “I like the sun, Your Grace. There’s too little of it in England.”
Bella waved her away. “You should be off canoeing with the girls.”
“My place is here with you.”
“Then sit down,” she said. “I don’t like to have you hovering.”
Emily looked guilty. And uncomfortable. She hesitated, then settled into the Adirondack Bull had vacated.
Bella felt awful for making her assistant feel self-conscious. Staying in one’s place out of respect was one thing, but the girl took it too far. Emily was another person she was determined to see well-settled before the end. The woman deserved to be happy. Although, it was hard to imagine Emily being attracted to—or, unfortunately, attractive to—a man.
“Do you have a boyfriend, Emily?” she asked.
Emily’s mouth dropped into an O of surprise. “Why, no, Your Grace.”
“Is there some man you fancy?”
Emily turned beet red. It wasn’t an attractive color on her.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Bella said. “I was merely curious.”
“There is a man, Your Grace, but…”
“But you’re stuck traveling around the world with me.”
“It isn’t that, Your Grace. I love spending time with you.”
“Then what is it, Emily?”
The young woman twisted her hands in her lap. At long last, she met Bella’s gaze and said, “I’ve loved him from the moment I met him. But he doesn’t even know I’m alive.”
“Oh.” That was a sad state of affairs. One Bella would have to rectify. Just as soon as she managed to get her own large brood married off.
“Are you sure you’re all right, Your Grace?” Emily asked.
Bella realized she was twisting the large diamond she still wore on the third finger of her left hand in painful circles on her swollen finger. She laid her hands in her lap and said, “I’m disappointed about what’s happened this weekend, if you want to know the truth.”
“Very understandable, Your Grace. Your children are—”
“Ungrateful monsters? Spoiled brats? Renegades without a conscience?”
“Oh, no, Your Grace,” Emily protested. “I would never—”
“I’ve said it for you,” Bella soothed. And yet, she felt frustrated by the result of her first attempt at making amends with both husband and children.
Was it hope that made her feel so agitated? Or fear? Whatever she was going to do, whether it was trying to win back her husband, or finding spouses for her children, she’d better get started doing it.
She’d tell Bull the truth today, she decided. As for the other task she’d given herself… It wasn’t going to be easy arranging romantic liaisons for her sons and daughter if she couldn’t even get them to come see her for a special occasion like Mother’s Day. She was simply going to have to intrude on their lives, whether they liked it or not.
But where to begin?
Max was in London. He’d even agreed to see her when she got home. She knew the perfect woman for her youngest son. She should have done something long ago to get the two of them together. Now, at long last, she hoped to make things right. It made sense to start matchmaking with Max.
“Emily, I need you to make some travel arrangements for us.”
“Certainly, Your Grace. Where are we going?”
“Home. But first we’re going to—”
Foster descended on Bella like a blustery winter wind. “This is all your fault!”
Foster’s unexpected attack frightened Bella enough to make her heart jump. She put a hand against her chest and shot a warning look at Emily, to keep her from revealing the existence of her heart condition.
“I have many sins for which I will have to answer,” Bella answered as languidly as she could. “I doubt any of them have much to do with you.”
“My wife sees you flitting around the world without a thought in your head and—”
“Flitting?” Bella interrupted, arching a disdainful brow.
“Wandering, traipsing, gadding about,” Foster interjected, furiously. “And she starts thinking life in one place is too confining.”
“Are you sure it’s not life with one man she finds too confining?” Bella said in a silky voice.
Foster braced his hands on the arms of her Adirondack and leaned in so close she could feel his breath on her face. “You’re not the one to be talking. At least my children showed up here today. You’re reaping what you’ve sowed, Bella,” he said viciously.
“I hardly think—”
“You sent those poor kids of yours off to boarding schools their whole lives while you partied your way around the world.” He sneered down at her. “What did you expect? You treated them like dirt. They’re just paying you back.”
“That’s quite enough,” Bella said quietly.
Foster stood up, but he didn’t step back. “I’ve barely gotten started, lady. You had to come here when you knew I was trying to mend things with my wife. You’ve been a bad seed from the start. You insinuated yourself between Bull and the woman he was courting. You teased him and taunted him and stole him away from the caring person—the lady—he should have married. It’s a shame Bull couldn’t see what I did.”
“I loved your brother.” I still love him! Bella wanted to cry. But that would be setting fire to gasoline, considering Foster’s rage.<
br />
“You don’t know what love is!” Foster said with a sneer. “You tricked my brother into marrying you. Christ, you threatened him with jail if he didn’t.”
“I had nothing to do with that,” Bella protested. Her aunt, who’d stood in for her dead parents, had threatened to go to the police and have Bull charged with statutory rape if he didn’t marry her. “Bull wasn’t innocent,” Bella pointed out. “He did have sex with a seventeen-year-old.”
“But some other guy got there first, didn’t he, Bella?” Foster snarled. “Because Oliver isn’t Bull’s son. For God’s sake, his eyes are brown!”
Bella’s face blanched. Both Bella and Bull had blue eyes. Which made Oliver’s brown eyes a genetic impossibility. Some other man had to be his father. The truth had been there all along, but Foster had ever spoken it aloud. Until now.
“You love those detestable diamonds and rubies and pearls my brother lavished on you more than you ever loved him or any of those kids,” Foster ranted. “You’re a lying, cheating bitch, Bella. Just stay the hell away from me and my brother!”
Bella pressed a fist against her heart and leaned forward, struggling to breathe. “I won’t bother you…for much…”
“It’s her heart!” Emily cried, rising from her Adirondack.
Foster jerked his head around and searched the horizon. “Bull!” he yelled. “Get over here. Bella’s having a heart attack!”
7
“You had me worried, Duchess.”
Bella sat up straighter in her Richmond hospital bed. “I’m sorry, Bull.” The quiet apology should have been spoken years ago for the two great wrongs she’d done to the man standing beside her bed. Bella felt genuinely contrite, sorry enough to finally confess the lies she’d allowed to stand. If only she could find the courage to reveal the truth. About everything.
Yet, she put it off a moment longer. “You heard the doctor. It wasn’t anything serious.”
Bull snorted. “A panic attack? Horseshit. You’ve been an ice queen since the day I met you. What’s really going on, Duchess? Is there something wrong with your heart?”
The use of her nickname—and Bull’s pugnacious tone—suggested the gloves had come off. He was so close to the truth, Bella felt her weakened heart wrench with fear. She didn’t want Bull taking her back because she was dying. She didn’t want his pity. She’d sworn the doctor to secrecy and ordered him to give her husband a less serious reason for her fainting spell. He wasn’t buying it.
“Bull, I—”
“You’re awake,” Foster said as he shoved open the door without knocking and entered Bella’s hospital room. “Good.”
Patsy followed him inside, smiling at Bella as they crossed to the opposite side of the bed from Bull. “Good morning, Bella. You’re looking much better than you did on the ride to the hospital yesterday.”
Since it would have taken the same time for an ambulance to arrive at The Seasons as it took for them to drive to Richmond, Foster and Patsy had sat in the front seat of Foster’s Mercedes while Bull held Bella in his arms in the backseat. They’d made it to the emergency room at Levinson Heart Hospital, on the Chippenham Campus of CJW Medical Center, in record time.
Bella just wished she’d been awake for more of the trip.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bull in such a state,” Patsy said with a teasing wink. “He didn’t stop pacing at the emergency room door until the doctor told him you’d regained consciousness.”
Bella shot a quick glance at Bull. Did that mean he still cared? Could he possibly still love her? The thought gave her pause. And hope.
“Bull was worried how the kids would feel if you kicked the bucket on Mother’s Day when none of them had shown up to see you,” Foster said.
Patsy shot her husband a look that expressed Bella’s feelings about her brother-in-law’s comment exactly.
“That was unkind, Foster,” Patsy said.
To Bella’s surprise, Foster responded to his wife’s criticism by turning to Bella and saying, “Excuse me. That was uncalled-for.”
Foster was rewarded with a smile from Patsy. Bella realized the two of them must have made up. It seemed Foster wasn’t going to chance offending his wife again, even if it meant making nice with a woman he regularly wished to the devil.
“I wanted to be sure you were feeling better this morning,” Patsy said, brushing a hand across Bella’s shoulder. “We’ll leave the two of you to talk.”
Bella took another look at Bull and realized he must have spent the entire night at the hospital. He hadn’t shaved. The gray and black stubble gave his face a rugged look. He was wearing the same docksiders, jeans and V-necked gray cashmere sweater over a white T-shirt that he’d worn to the picnic.
“Thank you, Patsy,” Bella said. “I am feeling better. And thank you, too, Foster, for getting me to the hospital.”
Foster didn’t say you’re welcome.
Bella was sure he would rather she’d expired on the spot. Or in the car on the way to the hospital. Or in the hospital after she’d arrived.
Instead, Foster said to Patsy, “We’d better get going, honey. The girls need to get back to school. The jet’s scheduled to leave at noon.” He turned to his older brother and said, “Should we wait for you, Bull? Or do you want to catch a cab to the airport?”
Bella felt a jolt of surprise. She hadn’t realized the girls were going back to school so soon. Or that Bull might be traveling back to Europe with them.
“I’ll get my own ride,” Bull replied.
Bella noticed he hadn’t said he wasn’t returning to Paris with his nieces. It was time to confess. If she was ever going to confess.
She suddenly felt breathless, but not because her heart wasn’t pumping enough oxygen.
Once Foster and Patsy were gone, Bull crossed and sat on the edge of her bed. “Are you going to tell me the truth, Duchess?”
“About what?” Bella asked warily.
“About what put you in that bed.”
“The doctor already told you—”
“What you told him to tell me,” Bull interrupted. “I want the truth, Bella. By God, I deserve the truth.”
Yes, he did. There was no going forward without going back. It was time he heard the truth…about the night he’d found her in bed with another man.
“There’s something I have to tell you, first,” she said. “The night you found me in bed with—”
“Don’t go there, Bella,” he warned.
“You wouldn’t let me explain then, or even later, but—”
“There’s no excuse for what you did.”
He was doing it again. Condemning her without allowing her to explain.
“The point is—” she began.
“The point is, you slept with another man. In our bed. End of discussion.”
Bella felt her cheeks heating, felt her heart thumping and put a knotted hand against her painful chest. She was going to die of a broken heart, all right. Broken by this stubborn man who wouldn’t listen. Who hadn’t trusted. Who’d believed the worst and never allowed her to explain. She’d felt every bit as betrayed by his lack of trust as he had by what he thought he’d seen.
“Bull, you’re going to listen to my explanation or—”
He stood abruptly and said, “Keep your damned secrets, then, Bella. I don’t give a damn if your heart stops. I swear I don’t. I thought…I hoped…”
He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, then dropped it and shook his head.
“Thought what?” she asked softly. “Hoped what?”
“I thought I could forget what happened. I hoped…” He looked up and met her gaze. “Damn it, I can’t forget. Or forgive. I forgave you for Oliver. You promised you’d never betray me again. You lied, Bella. You cheated on me once too often.”
He turned on his heel and was out the door while her mouth was still open to protest.
“You fool!” she cried as the door closed behind him. “It wasn’t me! It wasn’t
me!”
Tears pooled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks as she made her explanation to the empty room. “It was my twin, you stupid man. It was Alicia. She tricked you into sleeping with her at the start of our marriage. When I found out, I told her to leave the Abbey, to get out of my life forever. She said she’d leave, but I’d be sorry for choosing you over her.”
Her sister had wreaked a terrible vengeance.
“She made sure you found her—pretending to be me—in your bed with another man.”
Bella had never been unfaithful to Bull. She’d loved him—still loved him—more than life. She’d never told him about Alicia’s impersonation of her—and the fact he’d been duped into having sex with her jealous twin sister—because she’d been ashamed of, and appalled by, Alicia’s behavior. So he’d believed he was seeing Bella impaled on another man’s shaft.
Alicia had smirked in triumph when she’d admitted to Bella what she’d done. “Let’s see if your precious husband will have anything to do with you now!” she’d taunted.
Bull was gone for three days before he’d returned to confront her. When she’d tried to explain what Alicia had done, he’d demanded, “Was that him? Was that Oliver’s father? I have to know. Tell me the truth, Bella.”
The problem was, somehow Alicia had chosen Oliver’s father with whom to commit her supposedly adulterous act. It had been impossible to tell Bull the truth about Alicia without revealing the truth about Oliver’s father.
And that was a story she would never, never, ever tell.
Bella moaned. Ruined. Everything was ruined.
Emily stuck her head in the doorway, then came hurrying across the room. “Your Grace? What’s wrong?”
Bella quickly swiped the tears off her cheeks, then grabbed a tissue from a box on the side table and dabbed at the mascara that had smudged at the corners of her eyes. “Nothing that hasn’t been wrong for a very long time. I have matchmaking to do and not much time to do it. Have you spoken with the appropriate parties in London?”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“Have you gathered all the information on the young woman?”
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