“That's my girl...” He whispers hoarsely.
“You are so handsome that I would lick you whole and I wouldn’t leave an inch of you without tasting...”
The bold words escape from my mouth with complete sincerity. He makes me feel like the most desired woman on earth and I want Reed to feel the same.
“Baby, if you talk to me like that, I won’t be able to control myself...”
“What a pity, I wouldn’t want to see you lose control by telling you how it excites me to caress these perfect arms...
“You're playing with fire,” he says as he moves inside.
My body arches to receive him and he grunts excitedly.
“What are you doing to me? You break my rules and I’ve gone insatiably crazy.”
His words are lost with the sound of our bodies that start crashing together again. Moans, sighs and humidity in the air anticipate an expected ending that will repeat itself a couple of more times during the night until falling asleep in each other's arms.
A new sunrise
The sun peeks out the window but my eyes refuse to wake up. My body hurts exhausted from so much use and I have aches in unsuspecting places, but the smile doesn’t fade from my face. I stretch my hand looking for a heat that I already miss but I can’t find it. I get up at full speed and collide with the headboard.
“Shit,” I caress my beaten forehead.
Did I dream it? Did I imagine everything?
I jump out of bed, I cover myself with a T-shirt, one of those to walk around the house and I walk towards the kitchen. No one. I look in the kitchen, bathroom and living room but no one at all. He is gone.
I close my eyes looking for answers that don’t arrive. I understand that he would try, he said it... God cheated me just by him sleeping with me. What a thought! That he would be in the kitchen preparing coffee and toast? Anne! You can’t distinguish between having a good roll in the hay and something more.
I'm an idiot but I would have made sure that last night wasn’t only special for me. He seemed so warm and so in need of caresses that for a moment I felt he wanted them with the same intensity as I did.
I take a deep breath. The emptiness that I shouldn’t feel and the pain that I shouldn’t have cover my spirits. I agreed to be in an uncompromising relationship with a man who said he had no feelings for anyone and the first night I jump his bones.
Shit! I pull my hair in anger.
What the hell could I expect from a man who never fell in love with anyone. I walk with sorry steps. I prepare a well-loaded coffee and I sit on my terrace looking at the horizon. My body is tired and my soul is sad. I hardly slept a couple of hours. I smile with the memory of a spectacular night and a rebellious tear that insists on appearing.
The sound of Whats App sounds several times but I don’t answer it, it's too early to hear my sister's talk.
I stretch my legs, look around the terrace and let the time pass.
I'm so sorry and I don’t want to. Please! I can’t fall in love on the first night. I can’t, I shouldn’t, I won’t bear it...
I approach the phone that annoyingly insists with its little music of incoming messages, seven messages without answering. I quickly open the messages fearing bad news but I discover that Reed has added his number to my contacts and has been writing messages for an hour.
Reed
Baby, I'm sorry, an inescapable commitment.
On Saturday morning? Come on, I wasn’t born yesterday.
Reed
You looked beautiful sleeping I didn’t have the courage to wake you up.
Oh mother... I'm weakening. My spirits begin to jump hopefully.
Reed
Last night... We have to talk.
Talk? The best thing I can do is run through the first door I find and escape while I can.
Reed
Baby! ?????? Are you still sleeping? It seems as if someone hasn’t slept much last night? ;-)
I can’t write anymore. We'll talk later.
And why can’t you? Where are you and with whom?
The next one he writes an hour later.
Reed
Wake up!... Talk to me...
I smile sadly. I like him and he attracts me, as I shouldn’t be attracted, he makes me feel what I shouldn’t feel with him. Not with a man like him.
Reed
Wait for me.
I leave the phone on the nightstand and take the sound off while I take a big sip of coffee. Wait for me? To sleep with you means to sit down and wait until after your other commitments? God, we’ve only had one day and I'm already dying of jealousy to think about where you’ll be and with whom, how will I not go crazy waiting?
The street door closes with a small knock.
“Someday you'll have to learn to ring the bell.”
“So used to this,” Jane smiles but instantly remains motionless at the entrance.
“Are you sick?”
“Why do you ask?”
Your hair is like a hornet’s nest, slumbering eyes and a grouchy look.
“Thanks for the compliments...”
“And even a grouchy mood. What happened?”
Jane pours herself a cup of coffee and sits next to me on the terrace.
“Nothing important.”
“Anne, don’t lie to me.”
“Jane, I spent the night with a man...! Lift your arms... there you go. Breathe through your nose... It's over. Are you ok?”
My sister is as red as a tomato and her blouse has dark spots because of the coffee that she spit out while she was choking.
“It's not that bad,” I’m upset with her reaction.
“What do you mean it’s not so bad? You've been a widow for three years and nothing at all. Not even a peek at anyone and now you’re telling me you've slept with a man. I want details! Who, when, where? I want it all.”
“It's Reed.”
“The painter?”
“The decorator, he’s a decorator.”
“Well yes, that one.” “And how was he? But wasn’t it him that rejected you and I don’t know what else? I’m sure he’s crazy over you. Those green eyes and that beautiful red hair have left him breathless.”
“You just called my hair a hornet’s nest.” I said raising an eyebrow.
“That was before. You've taken that hunk to bed and you deserve my respect. Just what I needed,” Jane said in an ironic way.
“He's not a bonbon or at least last night he didn’t show it.” I take a sip of my cold coffee.
“Tell me everything!” Jane looks scandalized towards the bathroom. “Has he left?”
“Yes.”
“Ugh... Thank goodness. Now tell me.”
“There’s not much to tell. He was wonderful, the best sex of my life but like a good dream, he was gone when I woke up.” My sister opens her eyes, stunned. “It was great; he made me feel things I had never felt before. It was amazing and I plan to stop seeing him.”
“You're delirious.”
“This morning when I woke up he was gone. I don’t intend to start suffering from the first day.”
“What did you do?”
“I don’t know! For me it was great but, by the facts, it’s clear that for him I was just one more roll in the hay.”
“Weren’t you looking for sex without commitments?”
“Yes, but not with him. I don’t know. I felt so and now I am so...”
“You'd like to have him and it scares you.”
“I must be crazy? I barely know him. He’s complicated, cold and reserved but he has me hook, line and sinker.”
“And he's yummy.” Jane laughs with enthusiasm and I’m encouraged by her enthusiasm.
“Do you want to see a picture?”
“Did you take a naked picture in bed?”
“No idiot, it’s the one on his mobile profile. He saved his number on my contacts before leaving.”
“You're taking too long.”
I bring her my cell pho
ne and Jane is breathless, like everyone else.
“OMG! He’s amazing. What eyes!”
“You see what I’m telling you. He's not for me. He will kick me in the ass and I’ll be broken and destroyed. I can’t afford it. It's been three years since John and I don’t want to suffer again.”
“John is dead and you’re alive.”
“And that's why I can’t commit suicide. Reed is an abyss without any stairs.”
“You love him.”
“Madly.” I open the palm of my hand and smack my forehead.
Jane has fun with my pathetic drama when the doorbell rings and the phone vibrates at the same time.
“It must be Aunt Elsa. I told her I’d pick you up and buy Adam's birthday present.” I go to open the door.
Aunt Elsa never tires. Always ready to enjoy a walk, go to the movies or go around the world. For her all plans are good plans.
The phone without sound flashes showing that messages constantly enter.
“Hi dear.”
“Hi Aunt. If you’ll give me a minute I’ll shower and all three will get out of here.”
“Of course. After the exercise last night...”
I looked at my annoying sister, but I knew she wouldn’t shut up in front of Elsa.
“You couldn’t shut up.”
“Impossible. Does Elsa know that our dear Anne has had company all night? All, and I mean all last....”
“You don’t have to make sure, with her slumbering eyes, tangled hair, casual shirt, bare feet and scratches on her neck.”
“That’s not the way it is! And I don’t have scratches...” “Fuck, Jane, why didn’t you tell me anything?” I look in the mirror annoyed.
“I hadn’t noticed but Aunt Elsa has a light for these things. You know, aunt, I thought she had the flu.”
“My daughter, you’re always so fast.”
“Aunt!” Jane laughed with the comment.
“In the end the painter fell into your spider web!”
“He's a decorator and I did not put a web on him.” I sigh tiredly.
“And how was he?”
“Magnificent!”
“And then why that crummy voice?” Elsa sits on the couch, “short rod, low energy or thin sausage, what's the problem?”
“Are you sure they gave you our custody?” Jane asks curious and Aunt Elsa smiles.
“And without having to sleep with the judge.”
“Aunt...” Jane hugged the already elderly adoptive mother. She spoke in a joking tone but we both knew everything she fought to have us by her side.
“Short lollipop, hose without any force, charger not charged...” She said convinced.
“Nothing of that! For now.”
Aunt Elsa was having a great time making my sister and I blush like two girls.
“He doesn’t like relationships. He says he has no feelings that he doesn’t know how to commit. He is cold and not very talkative, introverted, intriguing and seductive. A goldmine for someone like me with my hundreds of insecurities.”
“Like everyone. Is there something important to highlight?”
“Does it seem like nothing?”
Aunt Elsa lifted her shoulders calmly.
“We had a great night but he left without saying goodbye.”
“He called you?”
“Yes.”
“Has he explained himself?”
“Only a bit.”
“And wasn’t it what you wanted? You said you didn’t want commitments. Just to live and try.”
“Yes, that’s what you said,” Jane said.
“Aha, there it is. It turns out that you liked him a lot and want to repeat it.” Elsa pointed her finger.
“Yes.”
“And surely you told him all that string of nonsense about real love.”
“I’d better not answer.”
“Anne Foster. Did you tell him all those stupid things yes or no?”
“Yes.”
“But you've changed your mind. You’ve felt things that you like.”
“But he also turned out to be equally clear.”
“And of course men don’t feel anything right?”
“I don’t think so, aunt. I’m a normal widow, but he lives life in a different way. What's more, he has somewhat peculiar tastes.”
Elsa waited for her to finish speaking and Jane opened her expectant eyes.
“I don’t think you know...”
“Honey, at this point we’re all clear that I know a lot more about sex than you two together.”
“It's true,” Jane bends her head affirming in an amusing way.
“Speak!”
“It's okay. He likes shared sex, he makes trios and participates in bambans.”
Aunt Elsa gives a laugh that leaves me speechless.
“Honey, it's gangbang.”
“Do you know what that’s about?”
“Jane, are you sure you're my daughter?”
“Legally yes. You’ve brought us up, so technically and morally you are our mother.”
“Then why did you come out so nun like?”
“We are not nuns!”
I hold my head. I’m a mess and I’m talking about sex with my sister the nun and my aunt the expert, doesn’t help clarify anything. Elsa noticed my doubts so she stopped joking with my sister and answered seriously.
“Anne, there's nothing wrong with trying new things in sex. As long as the participants agree, I don’t see where the problem lies.”
“Are you sure what you're talking about? I think you’re not following me. I say he slept with his friend’s women and shared them with several men!”
“Oh mother...” Jane steals Elsa's fan while hyperventilating nervously.
“Honey, sex and its various ways of practicing exist since the world is the world. People are horrified, frightened and judge quickly but do little to learn. You have had a most conservative partner and I don’t judge you but different people inhabit the world. He hasn’t killed or raped anyone. Tastes are always changing depending on the person you have by your side. Don’t judge without getting to know.”
“Don’t you see it as wrong?”
“Absolutely not.”
The phone continues to light up and Elsa looks curious.
“You’re not going to answer?”
“Not yet. I have to think. What happens if I continue with him? What if he wants to share me or if he wants sex with another? I don’t think I can do this.”
“Marathons are run step by step. Don’t think about tomorrow when you don’t know what you are going to do today. The final decision will always be yours, the opinion of others matters little,” she stated pensively.
“I'll think about it.” I kiss Elsa on the forehead grateful for having her, I’ll get in the shower and we’ll go for that gift.”
“Honey, a question?”
I stopped in the hall waiting.
“Is that Reed the one in the photo that lights up on your mobile?”
“Yes.” I answer insecurely.
“Then don’t forget to remind him that to be on good terms with family members, it’s best to practice a gangbang with your aunt.”
“Elsa...” I didn’t finish laughing out loud when Jane added.
“Don’t forget about the older sister. She also shares.”
Elsa and I looked at her surprised. Jane doesn’t usually joke about these issues. She is too conservative.
“What’s up with you guys? I’m married but I’m not a fool.”
The three of us laughed and I run to the shower. My family has changed my mood as always. The black now only looks gray and my fears are transformed into growing curiosity.
Without Jane and Elsa my life would be a sad empty space.
You owe me something
I enter the gate laughing with laughter while Aunt Elsa and Jane march to the car singing with a shout. That woman can’t be the years she claims to have. It's past eleven o'clock at night and what
was supposed to be an afternoon among girls turned out to be a full day of celebration.
Elsa and Jane changed my chip. I have to stop thinking so much about things. Enjoy and fulfill my wishes and who doesn’t like it has to endure it.
I'll go home and answer Reed's message, because I feel like it and because I really want to. I'm not afraid if he wants to be with me it will be that he likes me and I must be the first to accept him even though it’ll cost my self-esteem to accept him.
And where are the damn keys to enter? I have to change my purse. I never find anything.
“You haven’t answered any of my messages.” His harsh voice is heavy with sadness.
His heat sticks to my back and my heart accelerates as always when he is this close to me. I am in his web, trapped and sentenced.
“I forgot my phone.”
“The first fifteen messages appear as read,” his voice is cold and hard.
Damn Whats App traitor!
I turn my body so I can face him but I'm totally stuck to his torso. I'm closer than I thought I look up and there he is, his always-present glacial gaze. He seems disturbed, is it my fault?
I stretch my hand and stroke his rough cheek trying to soften his hard, sad expression. His breathing is nervous, he is worried and yes, it's my fault.
I throw myself on tiptoe without thinking and interlace my hands behind his neck to attract him to my lips. I kiss him gently, gently, with a sweetness that he isn’t usually used to.
“Don’t ever ignore me again,” his tone is pleading.
“I needed to think.”
“I don’t want you to think. You don’t have to think. I command you not to think,” he answers kissing my neck excitedly.
“You left. You walked away from me and I felt lost.”
“I'm an idiot... I had to wake you up but you were asleep and I needed to leave and I didn’t want to frighten you. But I couldn’t help it: it's Saturday and they were waiting for me, if I could have I would have stayed but I don’t usually sleep with anyone, much less spend the night...”
My laughter sprang up despite my restraint while Reed keeps trying to explain himself worse and worse.
Diana Scott - [Stonebridge 01] Page 9