I Will Always Love You
by
Annette Evans
© 2006 by Annette Evans.
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my daughter, Nicole,
and my step-daughter, Elizabeth. I will never tell
either of you who you can or cannot marry.
And to my husband, Jim, who taught me how to love
and trust again. You truly are a wonderful man!
And to my “Stefan”. Thank you for the most wonderful
summer of my life. I will always love you.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to my cousin, Bettina Reusswig, for
helping me with all the German words.
Part One
Chapter 1
Chicago, May 1991
I cannot believe that I am sitting in a psychiatrist’s office. Do they really think that I am crazy? Melissa thought to herself as she looked around the fashionably decorated waiting room of Dr. Foster’s psychiatric practice. Melissa saw the abstract paintings on the wall and couldn’t help but think of all the trips she took with her parents and sister to various art galleries and
museums in the states and Europe. She noted that she was the only patient in the waiting room. She wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or bad sign of Dr. Foster’s ability.
Melissa absently flipped through a magazine as she waited to be called in for her first appointment. I don’t even know why I’m here, she thought. I’m just a normal twenty-four year old.
“Melissa Newman,” the receptionist called.
Melissa stood and put the magazine in the rack with a heavy sigh. As she turned toward the receptionist, she put a smile on her face to try to hide her nervousness. “That’s me,” she said.
“Please follow me,” the receptionist said as she returned Melissa’s smile. The receptionist guided Melissa into a plush office. “You can have a seat. Dr. Foster will be with you in a moment.”
“Thank you,” Melissa murmured as she took a seat in front of the mahogany desk and watched the big door close behind her. She looked around the office and noted that the doctor had almost the same leather furnishings that were in her father’s office. At the thought of her father, Melissa couldn’t help but feel a pang in the pit of her stomach. Dad didn’t want me coming here and airing any dirty laundry, she thought. But as usual, Mom and Sarah won out.
As Melissa thought of her beautiful mother and equally beautiful sister, she sat up straighter and smoothed her hair. At just that moment, Dr. Foster entered her office and
came to stand in front of Melissa.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Foster.”
Melissa stood, shook the doctor’s hand and said, “Hi. I’m Melissa Newman.”
“Have a seat, Melissa, and make yourself comfortable.” Dr. Foster made her way around her desk as Melissa reclaimed her seat. Dr. Foster sat down, opened the file on her newest patient and took a few moments to study her. Dr. Foster noted that Melissa fidgeted with her skirt then her hair. She finally said, “Why don’t we begin with you telling me why you decided you need to see a psychiatrist?”
“I didn’t.”
“Then why are you here?” Dr. Foster gently asked.
“My mother and sister said that I need some professional help because I’m losing it,” she bluntly stated.
“And what exactly are you losing?”
“Well, if you’re a psychiatrist, then I guess they think I’m losing my sanity.”
“I see. Why do you think your mother and your sister believe you are losing your sanity?”
Melissa looked thoughtful for a moment and finally said, “I guess because I have no interest in anything anymore, except for my daughter.”
Dr. Foster discreetly wrote something on her notepad, then said, “Tell me about your daughter.”
Melissa’s eyes lit up at the mention of her beautiful baby. “She turned one in March, and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She gives me so much love and joy.” Her eyes clouded over once again. “More than I deserve.”
Dr. Foster noted the tremor in Melissa’s voice and the tears in her eyes.
“Why do you think you don’t deserve much love and joy, Melissa?”
“That’s such a long story,” she answered with a sigh as she turned her head from the steady gaze of the doctor.
Dr. Foster smiled gently at her patient. “I have time.”
Melissa turned her gaze back to Dr. Foster and smiled wistfully as she shrugged her shoulders. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about your family.” Dr. Foster urged her.
“My family,” Melissa whispered. She sighed again and reluctantly began to tell her story. “My parents have been married for twenty-nine years and they adore each other. I also have a sister, Sarah, who is four years older than me. Sarah looks exactly like our mother. They’re both beautiful with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a perfect size six figure. A lot of people think that they’re sisters instead of mother and daughter. My father is tall with dark hair and brown eyes, and he’s very handsome. And you can see how I look.”
“Describe to me how you look,” Dr. Foster requested.
“Well, I’m only 5’6” instead of 5’9” like my mother and sister. My hair is kind of chestnut and my eyes are weird. I’m fat and I can’t seem to be as good as my sister.”
Dr. Foster discreetly wrote down on her pad, very low self-esteem. She glanced at her patient again and noted the differences she saw in her versus the way Melissa described herself. She saw her patient as being full figured instead of fat. Dr. Foster gauged her as being a size twelve. She also noted that Melissa’s hair was thick and fell in soft waves past her shoulders and her eyes were a regal jade but looked very sad. Dr. Foster felt that she would have a lot of work to do to get through to her newest patient.
“Melissa,” Dr. Foster began, “how long have you felt that you weren’t as good as your sister?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Sarah and I went to private school and whenever I got a teacher that she already had, the comparisons would invariably begin. You see, I wasn’t as good a student as my sister. She was always studying and doing extra work. I guess I just didn’t have that much interest in school; which didn’t make my parents happy, especially my father. And now my sister is a secretary for a law firm, and I don’t even have
a job.”
Dr. Foster furrowed her brow. “If you don’t have a job, how do you support yourself and your daughter?”
“We live with my parents in their apartment on Lake Shore Drive. My father is the senior partner in his CPA firm, so money really isn’t an issue for them.”
“When you were in school, what did you want for your future?” Dr. Foster asked. “I mean, did you intend on going to college or immediately joining the work force?”
“My plan was to be Stefan’s wife,” she blurted out. Melissa quickly looked away as hot tears once again sting her eyes.
“Melissa, who is ‘Stefan’?”
“Stefan,” she whispered as she looked back at Dr. Foster. “Stefan is the only man I have ever truly loved. And now he’
s gone forever.”
Dr. Foster glanced at the forms Melissa filled out in the waiting room and noted that she did not check a box in the marital status category. “Was Stefan your husband?”
“No,” Melissa replied as she began to tell the doctor the story of how she met Stefan and how much he means to her.
Chapter 2
Chicago, July 1985
“Melissa, are you ready to go?” Greta asked as she walked into her daughter’s bedroom.
“I would have been ready twenty minutes ago, Mom, but I can’t get this suitcase closed,” Melissa said in a huff as she struggled with her suitcase.
Laughing at the look of total exasperation on her daughter’s face, Greta said, “Here let me help you. Both of us can sit on the suitcase, and then we should be able to get it closed.”
They both sat on the huge suitcase and bounced a couple of times until Greta was finally able to get the locks closed.
“There. That was not too hard,” she said with a smile to her daughter.
“Well, that should be about it.” Melissa walked over to her dressing table and picked up her hairbrush. Checking her reflection in the mirror, she saw that her mother was watching her. “What is it, Mom?”
“I just cannot believe how grown up both of my daughters are. Sarah married her high school sweetheart, Neal, two weeks ago and moved away and now you are going to Germany to stay with my sister and her family for six weeks before you start college. I am beginning to feel so old.”
“You, old? Oh, come on, Mom, you’re beautiful. You don’t look forty-three years old. And Sarah and Neal are living in the apartment two blocks away that you and Dad bought them as a wedding gift.”
“I know, but I cannot help feeling that the well is empty.”
Melissa smiled at her mother. “The nest is empty, Mom, not the well.” It was hard to believe that her mother still mixed up American sayings after living here for all of these years.
“Yes, well, come and sit down with me. I want to talk to you before your father and I take you to the airport.” Greta sat down on Melissa’s bed and patted the space next to her.
“Yes, Mom, what is it?” Melissa sat down on her bed next to her mother.
“I just want to go over some things with you before we leave.”
Melissa saw the serious expression on her mother’s face and became alarmed. Slowly, she said, “Okay. What things?”
“First of all, I know that you are upset that Valerie cannot go with you to Germany because of her father’s heart attack last week.”
“Yes, I did plan on taking this trip with my best friend, but I understand that Valerie needs to be with her family right now.”
“Yes, she does. I spoke to her mother this morning and she told me that Richard is getting better each and every day.”
Melissa nodded. “I talked to Valerie this morning, too. She said that her father may be able to come home in a day or two.”
Greta nodded and took her daughter’s hand in her own. “Yes, that is good news. But, there is something else that I want to talk to you about.”
“What’s that, Mom?”
“Boys.”
Melissa rolled her eyes. “Mom, you and I had this talk when I was twelve.”
“Yes, schatzi, I remember. But, I just want to make sure that you think of the consequences before you do anything, especially when you are in Germany. All of the boys will be chasing after you. They will see you as an American tourist that they can have a summer fling with. And I do not want you to get hurt.”
“Oh, Mom, I hardly think that ‘all of the boys will be chasing after me’. Besides, I’m only eighteen. I’m not ready to start a sexual relationship. I want to wait until after I’m married.”
Greta was relieved to hear that particular declaration. With a heavy sigh, she said, “I am very happy to hear that.”
“Mom?”
“Yes.”
“Did you think of Dad as a summer fling? I mean he was in the army and stationed in Germany when you met him.”
Greta smiled at the memory of the first time she met her husband. “No, your father was not a summer fling. When I met your father, I fell head over heels in love with him.”
“But your mother and father weren’t very happy with you wanting to date an American soldier. Were they?”
“No, especially when I came home late from our first date. But after some time, they grew to love him almost as much as I do,” Greta said as Peter poked his head in the door.
“Are the two of you ready to go? Otherwise, I might have to charter a private plane to take you to Germany.” Peter walked into the room and grinned at his wife and daughter.
“Yes, Dad, I’m ready.” Melissa stood up and checked her reflection in the mirror once more. She slipped her hair brush into her purse and turned back to her parents.
Greta stood, grabbed her daughter and gave her a big hug. “I feel as if I am losing both my daughters,” she said with a tear in her eye.
“Mom, you’re not losing me. I’ll be back in six weeks,” Melissa said as she pulled away from her mother.
“Besides, Greta, this can be a second honeymoon for us,” Peter said as he
pinched his wife’s behind.
“Peter!” Greta exclaimed. “Not in front of the children.”
Peter looked at Melissa with a big grin on his face and winked at her. Melissa laughed at her father as the three of them picked up her luggage and headed for the airport.
Chapter 3
Knauppshausen, Germany
“It’s so good to be here,” Melissa said to her cousin, Brigitte, while they were unpacking Melissa’s suitcases.
“I know,” Brigitte said. “We are going to have so much fun together. I hope that you do not mind sharing my bedroom with me. You could have one of the guest bedrooms, but I thought that it would be more fun to be together.”
“No, that’s great. I really like the way you’ve decorated your bedroom.” Melissa admired the posters of one of the hottest bands of the year, Duran Duran. She hung up the last of her clothes in the closet and turned back to her cousin.
“I have school for one more week,” said Brigitte. “Then my summer vacation begins. And only two more years of university, then I am finished my education. I cannot wait to begin my career as a computer programmer.”
“I wish that I only had two more years of school. I start college at the end of next month for four long years.”
“What will your career be when you are finished your studies?”
“I’m not sure yet. But I have plenty of time to figure that out,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Brigitte, your English is very good. I’m really impressed.”
“Thank you. I have been studying English in school since the second grade, as all young people in school do. So, everyone my age in Germany can speak English. Even a lot of adults can speak it, so you should have no problem when you go places.”
“That’s good because my German is awful. My mother doesn’t speak German at home.”
“I am sure that you will do fine. Do you want to go get a snack?”
“That’s sounds great,” Melissa said as she followed her cousin out the door.
* * *
One week later, Brigitte and Melissa drove the five miles to the next town
where there was a three-day festival.
“I am so glad that school is finally out for the summer. Now you and I can
go sightseeing, shopping, and to all the neighboring festivals.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun. So, who will be at the festival tonight?”
“Oh, just about everyone from Knauppshausen and the four surrounding towns,” Brigitte replied as she pulled her car into the parking lot.
As Melissa followed her cousin into the enormous tent where the festival was being held, she couldn’t believe how many people were there. She saw that directly ahead on the opposite side of the huge tent opening was a dance floor on
a platform where a band was playing. To the right of the dance floor was the bar and to the left of the dance floor was the kitchen. In the middle of the tent were tables and chairs where everyone could eat, drink, and visit with
their friends and neighbors.
“This is wonderful,” Melissa said with a big smile on her face. “Where do you want to sit?”
“Come with me. My friends are at a table over there.” Brigitte began to make her way through the maze of tables.
“Hello, everyone,” Brigitte said as she and Melissa approached the table.
“Everyone, this is my cousin, Melissa, from America. Melissa, these are my friends. This is Petra Weiss, Franz Radler, Gabi Braun, and Stefan Koehler.
And you already know my boyfriend, Rolf Holzer,” Brigitte said as she sat down next to Rolf.
“Hello, Melissa,” they all said.
“Hi, everybody.” Melissa took a seat next to her cousin. Melissa was enjoying herself as she spent the night eating, dancing, singing, and sharing a drink or two with her new friends. After being at the festival for a few hours, she leaned over to her cousin and whispered,
“Brigitte.”
“Yes?”
“Which one of the girls is Stefan’s girlfriend?”
Brigitte giggled. “Neither of them. Why?”
“I think he’s really cute,” Melissa stated as she stole a sideways glance at the tall man with dark hair, mustache, and incredible eyes. “I’ve never seen eyes that were such a light blue color.”
“Yes, he is cute. But Stefan does not have a girlfriend. He is so shy. I am not even sure if he has ever been on a date with a girl,” Brigitte remarked.
“Oh,” Melissa said as she thought that she and Stefan already had something in common. Although Melissa had been on several group outings with friends her age, she never really had a date with a boy. She attributed this to boys not being interested in her because she was always at least twenty pounds overweight from other girls her age.
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