But he did need her. Just as she needed him.
She forced a smile and started toward him.
He didn’t return her smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Selene wanted to come.”
“If I’d wanted her here, I’d have brought her with us. She was to go to Scotland.”
“And you chose Antonio to take her.” She met his gaze. “I think you lie. I believe you had no intention of sending her to safety. I think you knew Antonio would bring her to me.”
“I had no idea Antonio was in your pay.”
For a moment she was shaken by the flatness of the assertion. “You knew. I’d wager you know every man hired by me or Nasim in your household.”
“You’d lose. I didn’t know about Antonio. Why should I think you’d have spies in my camp?”
Because I love you. Because you know I’d never let you go. She moistened her lips. “Eshe. Why else?”
“You sent me the coffer. You don’t trust me to care for it?”
She had sent it to him because she wanted to forge a link that would bring him back to her. “You have a tendency to be foolish. I had to be sure. When you sent me Selene, I hoped you were seeing clearer.”
He went still. “And why do you think I sent you Selene?”
“Eshe. To do what you could not.”
He inhaled sharply. “Good God in heaven, what have you done?”
Pain shot through her. “Don’t talk to me in that way. I’m not a monster.” She lifted her chin and stared at him defiantly. “I’ve done nothing. Do you think I’d rush to please you? I just thought—”
“Then why did you bring Selene here?”
“She’s suffered a great loss, and I thought it best to humor her. She was not—”
“What loss? What happened to Haroun?” Kadar was striding down the hill toward them. “How did he die?”
“You’re Kadar.” It was a statement. He was young enough to be Selene’s lover and was clearly a man of considerable stature, as was necessary to be Tarik’s choice. “I’m Layla.”
“I don’t care who you are.” His tone vibrated with anger and frustration. “I want to know what happened to Haroun and what’s wrong with Selene.”
“There’s no need for harshness,” Tarik said. “Layla didn’t harm Haroun.”
He was defending her. Layla felt a rush of warmth. How pitiful she had become to feel so much pleasure from such a little thing. “How do you know? You seem to think me capable of anything.”
“How did Haroun die?” Kadar repeated.
“Nasim killed him.” She briefly related their flight into the woods and the discovery of Haroun’s body.
“God’s blood,” Kadar murmured. “Haroun . . .”
“He seemed a good lad and very devoted to Selene.”
“Yes, he was.”
“Particularly toward the last.” Should she tell him? Why not? She didn’t know whether Selene intended to tell him about the child, but she had not been able to reach Selene in the past days. Perhaps Kadar could do it. “After he learned Selene was with child.”
Kadar’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“That’s why she was coming to see you. She thought you’d give your name to protect the child.”
A slow smile lit his face, and in that instant she could see why Selene was drawn to him. “Of course I—”
“Wait.” As usual, she had been clumsy. “She lost the child after we found Haroun.”
His smile vanished. “Dear God,” he whispered.
“It was a terrible blow to her. Together with Haroun’s death, it was—She seemed to change overnight.”
“You don’t have to tell me that.” His fists clenched at his sides. “I’ve never seen her like this. She’s not the same.”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course she’s not the same. Some women need children to complete them. To lose a babe tears the heart from your body. Do you expect her not to show—”
“Gently.” Tarik’s hand fell on her arm. “We all know Selene is in pain. Now we have to find a way to help her.”
“If she’ll let us,” Layla said. “It’s as if she’s built a wall around herself to keep everyone out.”
“She’ll let us,” Kadar said. “Because we’ll do everything we can to make sure she does.” A muscle jerked in his taut cheek. “Do you hear me? I won’t have her hurting like this.”
“Time and patience will help heal the wound,” Tarik said.
“Selene has never understood patience, and I can’t see her learning now.”
“You’re the one who appears to be without patience.”
“She’s hurting. I won’t stand for it. I’m going to fix it.” He glared at Tarik. “And you’re going to help. Whatever it takes, whatever she wants, you’re going to give her.”
“If it’s within my power.”
“That’s not good enough. You’re going to give it to her.” His glance went from Tarik to Layla and back again. “I don’t care what’s between you. I don’t care about the grail. I’m tired of having you and Nasim interfering with our lives. It’s not going to happen anymore.”
“Kadar, I’m not arguing about—”
“She wants to talk to all of us after supper tonight.” He turned and started to stalk back up the hill. “You’re going to listen and, by God, if you say one word to upset her, I’ll make you pay.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kadar asked.
Selene whirled to see him standing in the doorway of her chamber. His face was pale, his eyes glittering, and she instinctively stiffened. “What are you doing here?”
“Didn’t I have the right to know?” He moved forward and slammed the door. “It was my child, for God’s sake.”
“I was going to tell you.”
“When? This evening? A joint announcement to Tarik and me? You didn’t think I deserved to hear it alone?” His hands fell on her shoulders. “You let Tarik’s wife, a stranger, be the one to tell me.”
She looked away from him. “I didn’t want to talk about it.”
His face softened. “Selene.” His hands gently kneaded her shoulders. “We have to talk about it. We shared the pleasure that created the child, now let me share the pain. I can help you.”
She could feel herself softening, bending toward him like a tree in a strong breeze. He would understand. He had wanted the child.
She mustn’t soften. She had to remain strong and rock hard. “Do you want me to weep and moan? My babe is dead. Haroun is dead. Weeping won’t bring them back.”
“I don’t want you to weep. I want you to let me share. You’re not being fair to me.”
She backed away from him. “I want you to leave me now. I’ll see you this evening.”
“The devil I’ll leave you.” He took a step forward. “You can’t shove me into the background and lump me with Tarik and Layla. We’ve been comrades and lovers. For God’s sake, we’ve conceived a child. We’ve shared too much.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. Nothing matters more than—” He drew a deep breath. “This is wrong. I lost control. I didn’t mean to argue with you. I meant to be all that was gentle and understanding.”
“Then understand that I want you to go.”
“I’m leaving.” He moved toward the door. “And for now I’ll obediently fade into the background where you want me. But it won’t last, Selene. I won’t let it last.”
He did not slam the door, but the closing was crisp and decisive.
He was gone. She crossed her arms across her chest to still their trembling. She had thought she was frozen, but she was coming alive again. She had desperately wanted to reach out and take the comfort he offered. She should have known Kadar would be capable of getting past any barrier and jarring her.
But she hadn’t yielded, and he had left her.
Triumph.
It didn’t feel like triumph. It felt bitter and uncertain and very, very lonely.
> Kadar’s hands clenched into fists as he walked blindly down the hall.
She was in pain and he couldn’t help her.
By God, he couldn’t bear it.
She had shut him away from her. It had happened before, but he always knew that given time and patience he could break through. But this was not the same. He had never seen her like this. She seemed years older, and the walls she had thrown up were iron hard.
Stop feeling and start thinking. There was always something to be done. There had to be some way to approach her that she would accept.
But they knew each other too well. She would be on guard against any familiar ploy. Whatever path he chose would have to be one they had never walked before.
That evening Selene was about to leave her chamber when Kadar knocked on the door.
“I trust you have no objection to me escorting you?” Kadar asked silkily. “I may not be of importance to you in any other way, but I do have my uses.”
She moved past him and down the hall. “This isn’t necessary.”
“But you don’t know the villa.” He fell into step with her. “You might become lost.”
“I doubt it. It’s not even as large as Sienbara.”
“Then indulge me because it brings me pleasure. That gown is quite becoming. I’ve always liked you in white. Where did you get it?”
“Tarik. I suppose it’s one of the servant’s. They all wear white.”
“Very considerate. I should have thought of it myself, but I was a trifle preoccupied.”
She glanced at him warily. There was none of the barely repressed frustration and despair that had characterized him earlier.
His tone was lazy, his demeanor faintly mocking, but she was aware of some other emotion that she couldn’t define, and it made her uneasy. She wasn’t accustomed to not knowing what Kadar was thinking.
He smiled. “I suggested Tarik and Layla wait for us on the terrace. The evening is too fine to stay inside. Did you notice the sunset?”
“No.”
“One should always pay attention to beauty. There’s no way of predicting when it will leave us.” He gently nudged her toward a columned doorway to her left. “You might consider that.”
She strode ahead of him out onto the terrace.
Layla and Tarik were standing at the balustrade and turned as Selene approached.
“Ah, you look more rested. I hope you were made comfortable.” Tarik glanced at Kadar and smiled slyly. “I hate to think of my fate if you were displeased. It seems Kadar is a trifle upset with us.”
“Oh, I’ve recovered my temper. You needn’t worry.” Kadar dropped into a chair at the wooden table beneath the vine-covered arbor. “As long as you heed the thrust of our discussion.” He looked at Selene. “Here we are. Gathered at your command, meekly awaiting your words. What do you wish of us?”
Ignore the mockery. Say what had to be said. “I want Nasim dead.”
Kadar’s expression didn’t change. “I thought that might be it.”
“I’m going to need help. I’d do it myself, but he has too much power, too many men.”
“I’d judge your assessment is correct. I can think of no one who would go up against him without help. Some would say it’s impossible. He’s seldom alone. He can call on the assassins at any time.”
“Are you saying you won’t help me?”
“No, I’m saying it would be difficult and possibly lethal.” His tone was detached. “And you have no training that would make such a foray successful.”
“But you have. You could show me.”
“Do you wish to invest as many years as I have on learning the dark path?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. It wouldn’t suit your temperament, Selene.”
“It would suit me to see him dead. I’ll do whatever I have to do toward that end.”
“You believe you will, but thought and execution are not the same. It takes a certain savagery that you don’t possess.”
“Then I’ll acquire it. I’ve had many lessons lately. All I’ll have to do is remember Haroun.” Her voice was suddenly fierce. “Did Layla tell you how Nasim hacked him to pieces? He tried to save us, and that monster—”
“She told me,” he interrupted. “But emotion ebbs and flows, and it tends to get in the way of reaching goals. That memory will hinder, not help you.”
He was so cool and objective, not like the Kadar she knew at all. She didn’t know what she had expected, but it wasn’t this remoteness. Kadar had never distanced himself from her. “I cannot help it. The emotion is there. It will always be there.” She added deliberately, “I suppose I cannot expect you to feel anything for the child that died because of Nasim. He wasn’t real to you.”
Some emotion flickered in his expression, but it was gone in an instant. He lifted his brows. “Was that jab supposed to bring blood? You’d best aim your arrows at the real enemy. One of the first things I learned was that one must concentrate on the important things and ignore the rest.”
“The important thing is that Nasim killed, and I won’t have him go unpunished. It’s not fair. What happened was all wrong. He shouldn’t be permitted to destroy and ride away. I won’t let him do—” She broke off and tried to temper the passion in her voice. “I won’t run and hide from him any longer. It has to end.”
“Be patient. Time has a way of vanquishing the most vicious foes,” Tarik said gently. “The risk is too great, Selene.”
She whirled on him. “Don’t tell me about patience. You’re almost as bad as Nasim. Since the very beginning you’ve all played your games and moved Kadar and me about as if we had no importance.”
Tarik sighed. “It’s precisely because you do have importance that you were drawn into our machinations. I was so weary. I thought I had the right to—I never wanted either of you to be hurt.”
“Well, we were hurt. Kadar was nearly killed. Haroun was murdered. I lost a child.”
“Stop attacking him,” Layla said. “You don’t understand. He blundered, but he meant you no real harm. It was Nasim who did this.”
“It’s true. I don’t understand. You’ve both made sure that we didn’t understand.” She met Tarik’s gaze. “But that’s going to change. I’m not going to wander blindly in the dark any longer. Nasim wants the grail. It’s a weapon I can use to trap him. I need to know why he wants it. I want to know everything about it.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you.”
“Don’t you say that. I deserve to know.”
“Tell her,” Layla said suddenly.
“Be silent, Layla.”
“I won’t be silent. She’s right and you’re wrong.”
“You’ve always thought me wrong when I’m merely being responsible.”
“You’re not God; you can only do your best. Should that stop you from taking any action at all? And what of Kadar? Would you leave him with no knowledge of what has happened?”
“I was going to tell him. I was going slowly.”
“Why? He doesn’t impress me as being oversensitive. Not one man in a hundred would respond as Chion did.”
“I resent that judgment. I have a very sensitive soul.” Kadar paused. “But I admit my curiosity is greater than my delicacy of feeling. It would please me if you’d stop this bickering and give Selene the information she desires.”
“Tell her, Tarik,” Layla repeated. “Or I will.”
Tarik was silent for a long moment. “It’s a mistake.”
“Then make a mistake. It will be good for you.”
He shrugged. “It’s on your shoulders.”
Layla smiled. “I can bear it.”
Tarik turned to Selene. “Ask your questions.”
“Why does Nasim want the grail?”
“He thinks it will bring him power.”
“But he’s mistaken.”
“No, it could bring him power but not the way he thinks.”
“What do you mean?”
“The grail has an ins
cription,” Kadar said. “What is it? The location of a great treasure?”
“Yes.” Tarik’s lips twisted. “Or of hell.”
“It has nothing to do with hell,” Layla said fiercely. “It’s a great gift.”
Tarik shook his head.
“It is,” Layla insisted. “If you would only let yourself see that there are possibilities that—” She drew a deep breath. “It’s not a map, it’s directions for—No, I’m doing this wrong. You must start at the beginning, Tarik.”
“You give me little opportunity.” He shrugged. “The beginning for me was when you came to the Great Library.” He looked at Kadar. “I told you of the library and what it meant to me. When Layla came and told me that she wished me to search the scrolls to find a document dictated by Selket, I regarded it merely as a challenge. She didn’t tell me what the scroll contained.”
“Scroll? What of the grail?”
“The grail came later. It took me many weeks to locate the scroll. I had to search in my free time. When darkness fell, I would let Layla into the library and we would comb through the Greek scrolls. At first I wasn’t sure it was the correct one, but at the beginning we saw a word that couldn’t be mistaken. It was then that Layla told me what the scroll contained. I didn’t believe it. I laughed at her. She took the scroll and tried to gather all the herbs listed on it. It wasn’t easy. Some of them we had never heard of, and the primary ingredient was a rare herb grown on the banks of the Nile. Finally we thought we had all we needed and rented a small hut near the marketplace and began to put the mixture together. For me, it was merely an adventure. An exercise in learning.” He paused. “But Layla believed. She became obsessed with it. She ran great risks each time she came to the hut. The priests were becoming suspicious, and I tried to persuade her to come away with me to the country, where we might be safe. She wouldn’t do it. She had to finish the work.”
Layla shrugged. “And when we finished, we didn’t know what to do with it. How could we test it? How would we know whether Eshe was truth or myth?”
“Eshe?” Selene asked.
“The word engraved on the cup,” Kadar murmured.
The Treasure Page 21