by E A Comiskey
“Richard, Burke, it’s a pleasure to see you again, and very nice to meet you, as well, Mr. Kapcheck. I’m one of Madeline’s neighbors.”
Luke lived three doors down from Maddie and had been friends with the family since Burke made his acquaintance while selling lemonade back in the days when people didn’t worry much about their kids being snatched off the streets by perverts. He shook hands all around and made all the appropriate niceties when Stanley insisted on being called by his first name.
The other guy bobbed his head at them like an agitated cockatoo. He flashed a smile, revealing a row of teeth so straight and white they gleamed when the light hit them, just like the old Saturday morning cartoon characters. His watery gray eyes settled on Burke. “I have to say, you’re just as lovely as your mother said. I really like your braids. They’re very exotic.”
A muscle jumped in Burke’s jaw. Maybe it wasn’t too late to go hunting at the carnival, after all. Stabbing something sounded pretty good at that moment. “Mom, you didn’t mention anyone was coming for dinner.”
“No? Well, I’m sure I meant to. Sit, everyone, please.”
Stanley crossed to the couch and dropped down between the two visitors, a little closer than was strictly necessary to Albert, who gave him the side-eye. He slung an arm behind the little nerd’s shoulders and crossed his legs. The corners of his mouth twitched upward.
Maddie perched on one stiff, hi-backed chair. Richard plopped in the other, causing the thin chair legs to squeak in protest.
Burke settled on the raised brick hearth in the corner, as far from the group as possible without actually leaving the room. From there, she could make a break for it if she needed to, and they’d be hard-pressed to catch her.
“Are you one of Madeline’s neighbors, as well?” Stanley asked the twerp.
“We’re just brand-new acquaintances,” Maddie answered for him. “It’s quite a funny story, actually.”
Albert snorted.
Richard startled, looking alarmed.
“I suppose you could say it was funny,” Albert agreed. “If being run over amuses you.”
Burke drew back. “My mother ran over you?”
Maddie waved a dismissive hand. “No. I most certainly did not run over him. I just bumped into him.”
Albert snorted again. “It was my fault, really. When I’m cycling, my mind travels off to another dimension. I zipped behind her when she was backing up.”
“You know how those parking spaces downtown are,” Maddie said, picking up the narrative. “Well, you just can’t see a thing. The only way to get out is to put the car in reverse and hope for the best.”
“I’m just thankful she hit the brakes fast when she heard the thump,” Albert said.
“And thank God there was no oncoming traffic,” Maddie said.
“I would have been deader than Christ on Saturday,” Albert said.
Richard’s gaze darted back and forth between them during this verbal tennis match, but finally settled on Maddie, who folded her hands in her lap and said, “Obviously, there was no choice but to extend some hospitality. It was the least I could do after nearly killing the man.”
Luke wrung his hands like a nervous old woman. “Madeline, if you’re ever worried about driving downtown and need a ride, I would hope you’d never hesitate to ask.”
“Aren’t you sweet to offer, Luke. I’m fine, though. All’s well that ends well.”
Stanley’s smirk had grown into a grin.
Burke rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers. Were her headaches more frequent lately? Maybe it was an aneurysm. That would be a quick and easy way to go.
The Audubon Society grandfather clock announced the hour in the high-pitched, somewhat annoying chirp of the spotted woodpecker.
Albert scooted an inch away from Stanley and pointed his unsettling smile in Burke’s direction. “Your mother mentioned you’re a software designer.”
Burke dropped her hand into her lap. “I was. I’m retired now.”
“Far too young to be wiling away the days with afternoon television,” he said.
Television? Seriously? Something popped inside her brain. It must not have been the aneurysm, because she was alive enough to be annoyed. “Last week I saved a twenty-six-year-old mother of three by chasing down a banshee on foot and stabbing it through the heart with a wooden stake.”
Albert’s pale eyes grew wide behind his wire-rimmed spectacles.
Luke spoke up with a hint of amusement in his voice, “I flirted with death myself, last week—ate bacon five out of seven days and never once gave a thought to cholesterol. I’ve heard women find it attractive when a man knows how to live dangerously.” His eyes flicked to Maddie, whose full attention remained on Stanley.
Maddie fiddled with her pearls. “You’re quite fit, Mr. Kapcheck. You must be very careful about what you eat.”
“You’re sweet to say so, my dear. I must confess, though, based upon the aroma, any consideration of moderation I may normally exercise will be set aside for this evening’s feast. If your cooking tastes half as good as it smells, I shall gain five pounds before I leave here.”
A timer rang in the kitchen and Maddie leapt to her feet. “That’ll be the turkey.” She paused long enough to point a finger at Burke. “And no more weird humor from you, Missy.”
Luke jumped up, as well. “I can help you.”
“Not necessary,” Maddie called over her shoulder. “Stay and visit.”
He sank back down, his smile somewhat faded.
Stanley slapped his hand on Albert’s shoulder, causing the geek to jump half out of his seat. He’d inched himself so tightly against the arm of the sofa, he and Stanley were now sharing a single cushion.
“So, tell us about yourself,” Stanley said.
Albert wiped his palms against his pants. “Well, uhm...” He tried to scoot, found himself tightly wedged and settled for putting one forearm on the arm of the sofa.
Burke wondered if the man would pull himself up and over and run from the room to escape from Stanley.
“I bike a great deal,” Albert finally managed. “I have a car, of course, a hybrid, because I’m quite conscious of the environment, but still, there’s no cleaner form of transportation than good old, people-powered bikes.”
“Maybe we should get people-powered cars like they drive in that cartoon with the cavemen,” Richard suggested.
Albert snorted three times in quick succession, his shoulders shaking in laughter. “Maybe so,” he agreed as though it were a perfectly reasonable idea.
This was the man Burke’s mother wanted her to hook up with? She’d sooner join a convent.
Maddie called them in to be seated at the table and directed each of them to their place—Richard at the head with Burke on his right and Albert on his left so the two younger people would be directly across from one another, and Maddie at the foot, between Stanley and Luke. “We should each say what we’re thankful for,” she said. “I’ll start. I’m thankful to have my family home again, at last, even if only for a few days before they once again take off to God-knows-where to do God-knows-what, leaving me here all alone. At least they’re here for today and I am thankful.” She raised her glass toward them and sipped. “Now you, Burke, dear.”
Burke drained her wine and carefully put the long-stemmed glass back down on the table. “I’m thankful that it’s been several days since anything tried to devour my soul. I’m hoping to make it two weeks in a row, but it’s not looking good.”
Maddie huffed. “If you’re not—”
“Silly girl,” Stanley interrupted. “If you’re referring to the nachzehrer in Tulsa, he would never try to ingest a human soul. It’s hearts and livers they’re primarily interested in.” He sipped his wine during the resulting silence.
Burke watched the blood drain from her grandfather’s face. He probably worried Maddie and the men would actually believe them. Fat chance. Half the time, even Burke didn’t believe tha
t their ridiculous lives were real.
Luke spread his napkin across his lap. “Well, I certainly hope that whatever is roaming this neighborhood isn’t anything like that,” he said, tipping his chin to peer at them with mock seriousness.
Stanley leaned in. “You have a monster roaming the streets?”
“Mrs. Dister would have you think so.”
Maddie scoffed, “Mrs. Dister is so flighty she jumps at her own shadow.”
“I love a good monster story,” Stanley said. “What does she say?”
“Well, apparently, something ate nearly every vegetable in her garden. When she got fed up with going out to pick her ripe harvest only to find it missing, she asked her grandson to hook up some kind of fancy security camera. The camera picked up the image of something like a small hunched up man with broad shoulders, naked as a newborn babe, sitting right there in the middle of the zucchini vines, munching away. When a car drove by it, scrambled off on all fours.”
“It was probably some drunk teenager,” Maddie said. She focused her attention on Stanley and told him, “When I was raising Burke, I kept a tight rein on her to be sure she was studying and making good choices. Parents today leave it to their electronic gadgets to raise their kids. Poor things don’t stand a chance.”
“Perhaps it was,” Stanley agreed.
Maddie patted her hair and fluttered her lashes in his direction.
Good Lord. Burke had never seen her mother pay attention to any man other than her father. To see her like this with Stanly, of all people, was unsettling, to say the least.
“Well,” Maddie said. “Enough of all that. The food’s going to get cold if we sit around telling every bit of nonsense the neighborhood’s been gossiping about before we eat.”
Luke’s shoulders slumped an inch or two.
“Stanley, what are you thankful for?” Maddie asked.
Stanley gestured toward the feast laid out before them. “I am thankful for the opportunity to enjoy a good, old-fashioned, home-cooked holiday feast with loved ones. I dare say it has been far too many years since I’ve had such an opportunity.” He sipped his wine again. “How about you, Dick? There must be some gratitude somewhere in that wrinkly old heart. Spit it out, chap. What are you thankful for?”
Richard appeared to be fighting the urge to peg Stan’s face with one of Maddie’s over-cooked dinner rolls. He took a deep breath and said, “Reckon I’m thankful to be able to sit up and take nourishment.”
Albert chimed in, his nasally voice grating across Burke’s ears like a rusty old washboard, “Me, too! I’m thankful Maddie didn’t kill me.” A long series of shoulder-shaking snorts followed the proclamation. “Really, though, it’s quite nice to spend the evening with two beautiful ladies.” He waggled his eyebrows at Stanley. “Two pretty girls are better than one, am I right?”
Stanley inclined his head. “You may be right, but I find that ladies respond most positively when you admire them for their unique beauty as individuals.” He winked at Maddie.
Maddie blushed and looked down at her plate.
Is it too soon to refill my wine glass? Burke wondered.
“A woman’s real beauty comes when the experience of her years ripens into something full and rich,” Luke said, color rushing into his pale cheeks.
Maddie took a deep breath and said, “That’s enough of all that, now.” She led them in a short prayer of thanks before telling them, “This food is going to go cold. Go on and fill your plates.” She lifted the bowl of sweet potatoes, passed it to her left, and the next several minutes were dedicated to passing dishes, filling plates, and exclaiming about how wonderful everything looked. Richard mashed up the soft, lumpy potatoes between his gums and declared them not too bad.
Once all the serving dishes had been returned to the center of the table and the first wave of compliments ebbed away, Stanley asked Albert, “You told us about your hobbies, but what do you do for work?”
“Oh, it’s very exciting,” Maddie exclaimed. “Albert works for that company that’s getting ready to fly a spaceship to Mars. Can you even imagine? Living on a whole other plant—why, it’s just like a movie.”
Burke had been so wrapped up in her own wild ride lately that she hadn’t given much thought to the subject on everyone else’s mind. She didn’t find the idea of flying a spaceship to Mars so unbelievable, though. Earth wasn’t in the very best shape. Having a Plan B seemed like a reasonable call.
Albert swallowed a mouthful of turkey and washed it down with water, doing his cockatoo imitation the whole time. “Coleum Corp,” he said at last, as if they hadn’t all heard about it on every news show for the past six months. “I’m a technical advisor. I’ve even worked on Umbra’s personal server.” He leaned toward Burke. “I think that’s one reason your mom figured we’d get on well. We’re both computer nerds.”
Burke made a face that might have passed for some kind of agreement and stuffed an enormous scoop of sweet potato into her mouth.
Stanley leaned forward. “Umbra, you say?”
“Yup,” Albert confirmed. “Umbra’s the one who makes the whole operation go. ‘Course, you don’t hear much about that. They put John Jones out there, mostly. Umbra stays holed up in the labs in Italy, working like a darn dog to make big dreams into reality.”
“Yes, it’s Jones I see on the television,” Stanley said.
“Jones isn’t the brains, but he’s pretty and he talks good. I figure that’s why they always put him out front. Don’t get me wrong. He’s high up the ladder, but Umbra is the god on the top of the pyramid. Wouldn’t mind walking in those shoes for a few days, eh?”
Maddie wagged a finger in his direction. “There’s only one God, dear. Don’t ever forget that. Dad, could you pass the corn casserole, please?”
Richard lifted the glass dish and handed it to his daughter. Burke wondered what would happen if she brought up the Norse gods and their hunting pigs.
“Madeline, I don’t mean to be contrary. Perhaps you are right that there is only one true God, but I must add you to the pantheon. A goddess of the kitchen. This turkey is the most moist and flavorful I have ever experienced,” Luke said.
Maddie waved his words away with her fork. “What do you think, Stanley? Was it worth waiting all that time for my humble home cooking?”
Stanley dabbed at the corners of his mouth like a prissy little dandy. “A delight to every sense, my dear.”
A person didn’t need eyeglasses to see Madeline’s head swell under the praise.
“So, have you been to those offices in Italy?” Stanley asked Albert.
Maddie deflated a bit.
Albert shook his head and answered around a mouthful of potatoes, “Once. We’re mostly in contact by phone.” He swallowed and grinned at Burke, displaying a piece of parsley stuck in his perfect teeth. “You’d love it there.”
“I’ve been,” Burke replied without looking up from her food.
“Burke, dear, sit up straight,” Maddie admonished her. “A woman of your age needs to care for her bones. Hunching like an old crone is going to add years you can ill afford to your image.”
Burke jabbed the poor, defenseless piece of turkey on her plate. It felt good to stab something.
“I would love to see Italy,” Luke offered. “I’m determined to travel more, now that I’m retired. In fact, I’ve been considering a trip to Iceland. Do you know there are hot water springs all over the place there? It’s not really particularly icy, at all, due to the geothermic activity.”
“What are hot water springs good for?” Richard asked.
Luke seemed surprised by the question. “Well, they’re quite lovely for a soak, and romantic, as well, I hear.” His eyes darted to Maddie and back to his plate.
Richard scowled at him.
Stanley’s focus remained fixed on Albert. “They’re launching from Michigan, though, right? Just a few hours drive from here?” Stanley asked. “Surely, the boss will be here for that.”
Albert’s head bobbed. “Yup, yup. Sure. Everyone’ll be here for that.”
“Why did they choose Michigan?” Stanley asked. “I’d have thought a warmer climate, like those chosen by NASA and some of the other tech companies.”
Maddie leaned toward Albert. “Burke won a trip to NASA back in her schoolgirl days, for a computer program she wrote. She had a lot of potential back then.”
Nope. Not too soon to refill, Burke thought. She reached for the wine bottle in the center of the table and refilled her glass.
Albert raised his eyebrows. “Yeah? I was at space camp once, but I had to go home early. I got sick. I was allergic to the natural fibers in the shirts. I’m strictly a polyester guy these days.”
“I bet,” Burke mumbled.
He went on, clearly undaunted by her lack of eye contact. “Michigan’s actually a pretty natural choice. It’s sort of perfect, what with all the empty factory space up along the I-94 corridor and the labor force with lots of assembly line know-how and not many jobs. Plus, there’s some historical—”
“Your office is off I-94?” Stanley asked.
Albert stuffed the better part of a dinner roll in his mouth and nodded.
“I’ve been up there once or twice,” Stanley said. “I notice there’s sometimes a lingering scent of sulfur. That ever bother you?”
Richard’s fork clattered against his dish. Burke didn’t blame him. Stanley’s questions had taken an unsettling turn. Only the nastiest monsters left a sulfur stench in their wake.
“Dad?” Maddie looked at him with an over-solicitous expression Burke knew would irritate him.
“I’m fine,” he assured her.
Burke sat up straight, her eyes fixed on Stanley.
Albert’s head weaved left and right. It was almost as if his joints were made of springs instead of flesh and bone. He didn’t appear as tightly screwed together as he should have been. “No. Can’t say I’ve ever noticed a sulfur smell.”
Burke’s heart resumed its normal rhythm. She didn’t know what had prompted Stanley to ask about sulfur, but she knew for sure she had less than zero interest in being carjacked in Detroit by anything that went bump in the night.