The mayor opened the door, and Grace almost bumped into Sara as she stepped into the mayor’s office.
“Grace, good to see you,” Sara said, as if they hadn’t spoken minutes before.
Grace turned to the mayor. “Thank you, again.” She nodded, then stomped past Sara, keeping her head high. It was going to take more than Rhett Butler and a horse’s behind to stop her from putting her plans into action.
Conner tapped his fingers on the desk as he waited for the hospital operator to connect him. A few minutes later, he was taken off hold.
“Hello.”
“Pilar?” He stood. “I was calling your doctor. Why are you answering?”
“My doctor just left, but I’ve been awake most of the morning.”
“I wanted to talk to your doctor.”
“There’s not much for him to tell. Last night, I kept throwing up, and I didn’t want to be home alone with Solomon.”
“So what did your doctor say?”
She was quiet for a moment. “It’s what’s expected, Conner. There are no surprises.” The message was inside her words. “Conner, Solomon and I need to move as soon as I’m able to travel.”
Conner closed his eyes. Those were the words he wanted to hear. But his heart ached because his son came tagged with a high price.
“I’ll handle everything.” He tried to keep the sadness from his voice. “I’ll need information from your doctors.”
“That won’t be a problem.” She stopped. “I’ve put you down as … the one to be contacted when …”
Conner swallowed. “Don’t worry, Pilar. I’ll take care of you and Solomon.”
Conner and Pilar reviewed all that she’d need: plane tickets, a real estate agent to sell her home, a nurse so that Solomon would never be alone if she got sick at home. Before she said good-bye, she promised to call if she thought of anything else. He agreed to do the same.
Conner stared at the telephone and tried to count the days since the first call had come from Pilar. He couldn’t remember, but it didn’t matter. There were too many plans to make, and it all began with his family.
Chapter 35
“Here they come.”
The headlights of Lily’s Camry flooded the living room.
Grace stood and pressed her hands together as if she were about to pray. Conner pulled her into his arms, and they held each other until they heard the front door open. Amber ran in with Lily, with Jayde lumbering behind.
“Hi, Mommy,” Amber said, tossing her backpack at the foot of the stairs.
Grace rushed into the foyer and hugged her children. “Thanks for picking them up, Mom.”
Grace had called Lily and had asked her not to bring the girls home until seven. But even if Lily didn’t bring them until morning, she wouldn’t be ready for this.
Lily’s eyes wandered from Grace to Conner. “What’s wrong?”
They exchanged glances.
It had been Grace’s idea to include Lily, hoping that her mother’s presence would soften the news. But now she wondered if she should have kept this a private moment.
When Jayde started up the stairs, Grace said, “Honey, stay here for a moment, please.”
“Mom, I have homework.”
Grace took her daughter’s hand and led her into the kitchen. “You have the whole weekend, sweetheart,” she said lightly, although her heart was heavy. “Your father and I want to talk to you and Amber.” She paused. “You too, Mom.”
Lily stared at her for a moment, then took Amber’s hand. She sat Amber next to her, and Grace pulled out a chair for Jayde. Grace had planned it all—from where each sat, to deciding to do this in the kitchen where they’d be shoulder to shoulder.
Jayde asked, “Can I go to the movies tomorrow?”
It was a natural request at an unnatural time. “I think so,” Conner said. “We’ll talk about it.”
“Is this a family meeting, Daddy?” Amber asked with her eyes wide.
He nodded.
“Nicole said they have family meetings because her brothers are always in trouble.” Amber paused. “Are we in trouble, Daddy?”
Grace wanted to reach for her husband as she watched his Adam’s apple jump.
“No, baby,” he reassured Amber and placed his hand over Jayde’s. “I just have to tell you something.” He inhaled, then continued. “First, I want you to know that your mother and I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”
Jayde leaned forward. “Are you and Mom getting a divorce?” Her glance raced between her parents.
“No,” Conner exclaimed.
Grace rubbed her daughter’s back. The air was charged with the same excruciating waves that had filled the living room when she sat waiting for Conner to give her this news. The torture wasn’t any less harrowing now, especially as she watched Jayde. “Conner, just tell them,” she pleaded.
He looked at his hands, folding, then unfolding his fingers.
For the last weeks, Grace had visited the gamut of emotions with Conner. But now she felt only love as she watched him struggle to find words for their daughters.
Conner began, “There’s a boy who lives in New York.” He paused when Lily gasped. Her mother’s eyes told Grace that she guessed at least part of the story.
“And I’m his father.” The four words hung by themselves for seconds. “Jayde and Amber, you have a brother.”
Amber frowned, but it was a wide-eyed Jayde who said, “You and Mommy gave a baby up for adoption?”
That was a brilliant solution, Grace thought. Jayde’s explanation would have saved them. Though in the end, they would not lie. Solomon deserved the truth.
“No,” was Conner’s only response.
Lily, who understood, said nothing.
Jayde moved her eyes between her parents. “I don’t understand. How can you guys have another child?”
“Jayde, I have a son.”
Conner had no more words. But with the way Jayde’s eyes darkened, no other words were needed.
“You have a baby?” She spat the words.
“He’s not a baby. He’s twelve years old.”
Jayde shoved her chair from the table, but Grace stopped her. “Stay. We need to finish.”
“There’s nothing else to talk about. I already know too much.”
“Wait a minute,” Grace said, matching Jayde’s tone. “Don’t ever talk to your father that way, and you’ll stay until we say we’re finished.”
Jayde folded her arms and slid down in her chair.
Conner continued, “He lives in New York, and I didn’t know about him until recently.”
The legs of Jayde’s chair squeaked against the kitchen floor as she pushed herself farther from the table.
Conner looked at Amber and Jayde. “It’s a surprise, but it’s good because you have a brother.”
“I don’t want a brother,” Jayde growled.
“Look at him as a blessing from God,” Lily said, wrapping her arms around Amber.
Grace wanted to hug her mother.
Amber tilted her head. “I don’t get it.”
“Are you going to go over this for her?” Jayde motioned toward her sister with her chin. “Because if you are, can I go to my room? I understand everything.”
“You can go, Jayde,” Conner said.
He had barely finished before Jayde tore up the stairs. They remained quiet until Amber asked, “Daddy, you have a little boy?”
Conner nodded.
“Did you find him when you went to New York?”
“Something like that.”
“Amber, would you ride with me to Baskin-Robbins?” Lily asked. “I need to get ice cream since you cleaned me out.”
Amber giggled. “Okay.” She jumped from her grandmother’s lap as if she’d forgotten this conversation already.
With her eyes, Grace thanked her mother, and they hugged before Lily led Amber away. They watched Lily’s car roll down the driveway, and Conner said, “That didn’t go well. I
didn’t say it right.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered how you said it.”
“I’m going to talk to Jayde.”
“Let me go.”
“But she’s mad at me.”
“She’s mad at everything, Conner. But there are some things I want to discuss with her before we go into any more about Solomon.”
He looked as if he wasn’t sure but nodded anyway.
Grace took deep breaths as she climbed the stairs, knocked on Jayde’s door, then stepped into the darkened room. She turned on the light.
Jayde lay on her stomach with her face turned away. Grace sat beside her daughter and let the silence soothe them as she rubbed Jayde’s back. Minutes later, Jayde sat up and put her arms around her mother.
“Mommy, I’m sorry,” she cried.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.” Grace wiped Jayde’s tears.
“That’s true. Daddy should be sorry,” she sniffed.
“Your father is sorry that you feel bad. But he can’t be sorry for Solomon.”
Jayde looked into her mother’s eyes. “Is that his name?” she whispered.
Grace nodded.
“How could Daddy do this to you?” She hugged Grace again. “Don’t worry. I’m going to stay with you after the divorce.”
Grace hugged Jayde tighter. “That’s not going to happen, sweetheart. Your father and I are working this out.”
Jayde broke their embrace. “You’re going to stay with him?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t believe you.” Jayde scooted away from her mother. “After what he did to us….”
“Jayde, this has nothing to do with you. This is between me and your father.”
“But he cheated on you.”
Grace pointed her finger at Jayde. “I told you not to raise your voice.” She paused as Jayde looked away. “Jayde, you’re fifteen. You don’t even know what you don’t know.” She was silent for a moment. “Honey, I know this is hard, but as long as you’re in this house, I will not allow you to disrespect me or your father.”
When Jayde remained still, Grace stood. She leaned over and pulled Jayde into her arms. Although Jayde sat on her bed like one of the rag dolls on her bookcase, Grace held her for a minute.
“I’m going to grill some hamburgers.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Grace let her arms slip from Jayde. “Okay, but if you change your mind, come downstairs.” She waited for a response, but when there was none, Grace walked out.
Conner was standing in the hallway. “How is she?”
Grace pressed her finger to her lips and motioned toward their bedroom. The moment he closed the door, Grace said, “She’s still upset.”
“I want to talk to her.”
“I don’t know, Conner. I think we should give her some space. I don’t want Jayde saying things she’ll regret later,” Grace said, remembering some of the words she’d uttered. “And I don’t know what else you can add. I explained this isn’t about her.”
“But she doesn’t see it that way.” Conner shook his head as if it was heavy. “She thinks I betrayed her.”
Grace wanted to tell him that he had betrayed them all. But she held back, knowing that only God’s grace kept her from bearing Conner’s burden. Just as easily, she could have brought home a child. She shuddered.
She pulled Conner into her arms, consoling him without words and declaring that one day their life would again be normal. But she had a feeling that in between now and normal, there were some tough times ahead.
Chapter 36
A stream of sunlight washed over Grace’s face. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could stay in bed for the rest of the day—or the rest of the week. She rolled over, reaching for Conner, but felt cool sheets instead. She bounced from the bed. It was only six-thirty, an hour before Conner got up on Saturdays.
Silence greeted her when she stepped into the hallway. She opened Amber’s door; she was still asleep. She knocked on Jayde’s door, then opened it. Only crumbled sheets covered her bed.
At the top of the stairs, Grace heard muffled voices from downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, she paused.
“Jayde, it’s never going to work if we don’t talk,” she heard Conner say.
“I don’t want to talk. Anyway, Mom said this was none of my business.”
“She didn’t say that.”
“How do you know? You weren’t there.”
Jayde’s words made Grace want to slap her; the grief in her tone made Grace want to hold her.
“I’m sorry, Jayde, but you’ve got to talk to me.”
Grace listened to the silence.
“We can’t pretend that my son doesn’t exist.”
Grace closed her eyes, knowing how Jayde felt. These were the same words he’d spoken to her.
“He’s your son, Dad. And you can’t make me like him.” Jayde ran from the kitchen, bumping past Grace and then up the stairs.
Conner sat at the table, staring at his hands. He didn’t look up when Grace walked in. “I tried to talk to Jayde.”
Wordlessly, Grace sat next to him.
“I have one daughter who doesn’t understand and the other who understands too well.”
“Conner, you’re trying to force Jayde. Remember, it was difficult for me.” She lowered her eyes. “And, I’m still …”
He took her hands and brought them to his lips. “Grace, if there was any way …”
“You can’t take it back, and I’m tired of the sorrys.”
He raised his arms to hold her, but a voice stopped them.
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
They looked at Amber, standing in her wrinkled pink nightgown, rubbing her eyes.
They laughed.
The rest of the family could wallow in sorrow all they wanted. But Amber knew the truth. No matter what, life moved on.
Grace knocked on Jayde’s bedroom door. “Are you ready?”
Jayde zipped her bag, then put her tennis racket inside its cover. “Yes, but Philip’s mom is taking me and Philip to practice.”
“Okay,” Grace said, tucking her hands into her jeans. She watched Jayde close the racket’s cover. She had wanted to take Jayde to practice, as she did every Saturday. Especially today, wanting the time alone with her. “Well, I’ll pick you up, and then we can go to Magic’s Fridays or to Houston’s for a piece of that apple walnut pie.”
Jayde shook her head. “I’m going to the movies, remember? Brittany’s mom is going to pick us up, and I’m going to change at her house.”
Grace sighed. Her daughter had wiped her family from her Saturday slate.
A car horn blew, and Jayde scrambled to her window. “That’s Philip.” Jayde picked up her bag and racket and rushed by Grace.
“Remember your curfew,” Grace said, catching up with Jayde at the front door. She adjusted Jayde’s collar.
Jayde held her head low, not meeting her mother’s eyes.
With a single finger, Grace lifted Jayde’s chin. “We love you.” She hugged her, then waved to Philip and his mother as Jayde climbed into the Lexus.
With Conner dropping Amber at Nicole’s house for their Girl Scout meeting and then going to the office, Grace had a day of freedom. A few weeks ago, she would have paid for this day, but now she just felt alone. She picked up the phone. She hadn’t spoken to Lily, even though she knew her mother had a million questions. But after Lily and Amber had returned from Baskin and Robbins last night, she had quickly left with just a kiss on Grace’s cheek. “Call me if you need me,” was all she said.
Now as she dialed the number, this seemed as needy a moment as any.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Grace. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Do you want some company?”
“I would love that, sweetheart.”
Grace smiled.
“Starlight’s here.”
Her smile vanished. “Thanks for the warning,” she
whispered as if her sister could hear.
“I do want to speak to you,” Lily whispered back.
“Maybe tomorrow.”
Lily’s silence told her that she wanted to do it sooner, but she said, “I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks, Mom. Do me a favor?”
“I won’t say anything,” Lily answered before Grace could ask. “I love you,” she said before she hung up.
Though Lily spoke those words often, today it felt as if she had reached through the phone and wrapped her arms around Grace.
Now Grace embraced her day’s freedom. In her mind, she checked off what she could do: look over the council manual, review the résumés of potential staff members, plan a new strategy to get her education programs implemented, even read her Bible, which she had not done enough lately.
But she smiled when she stepped into the family room. She lay on the couch, clicked on the television, and turned to the Lifetime Channel. Surely there was a movie that would make her life seem like heaven. Right now, that was what she needed.
Chapter 37
Conner looked at the clock. “What time is Jayde supposed to be home?”
Grace’s eyes rose from the manual on her lap. “At ten.” Her eyes moved to the clock. “Time for bed, sweetie,” she said to Amber, who sat cross-legged on the floor.
“Mommy, why does Jayde get to go to bed later than me?”
“Amber, we’re not going to have this discussion.” She swung her legs from Conner’s lap. “I’ll be right back.”
Amber hugged Conner. But as she got to the door, she turned back. “Daddy, am I going to meet Solomon?”
Grace kept her eyes away from Conner. All evening, Amber had been asking questions—an inquiry every hour or so. Just enough to make sure that neither she nor Conner could ignore the cloud above them.
“Yes, Amber,” Conner responded.
Satisfied, Amber trotted up the stairs.
But before Grace could follow, Conner said, “I have a call to make, and then I’ll check on her.”
Grace returned to the couch and watched him, his shoulders slumped with the burden he carried. He was the hub of this family and was doing what he could to keep the wheels turning so they wouldn’t crash.
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