He nodded.
“I know I made a mistake not telling you.” She paused. “I was afraid that you would hate Solomon.” She shifted her eyes from his gaze. “And I knew you would never leave Grace.” When she glanced back at him, tears filled her eyes.
“I understand,” he said softly.
“And now you’ll be with Solomon for the best years of his life.”
He didn’t trust himself to speak. He folded his hands under his chin.
“Don’t be sad. I’ve had wonderful years with him,” Pilar said, mustering cheer. “He was a beautiful baby.”
“Spoken like a mother.” Conner chuckled, grateful for the shifting mood. “Why’d you name him Solomon?”
Pilar tried to laugh but coughed instead. She said, “That is such a heavy name for a little boy, right?”
“Our son carries it well. I’m curious. I want to know as much as I can …” He bit his lip, stopping the next words—“before you die”—from pressing into the air.
“Solomon was my grandfather’s name,” Pilar said, rescuing both of them from returning to despair.
“I didn’t know that.”
“And I loved that name from the Bible. I was thinking about King Solomon and his beginnings. I guess that was a way to push my hopes, dreams, and desires onto him. One day my son would be king.”
Conner chuckled.
Pilar lowered her voice. “And the situation in the Bible between David and Bathsheba wasn’t very different from ours.”
He nodded.
“Conner, there are some things I want to talk to you about.” This time, her tone was the one that carried “before I die.”
“Whatever you need, Pilar.”
She was still for a moment. “I won’t be going back to the apartment.”
Conner sat up straight. “The doctors said that you’d be released in a day or two.”
“But not because I’m getting better.” She paused again. “I don’t think I should go back. With Solomon, it’s too risky. I need … a hospice.” The request seemed to choke her. “I know there are waiting lists, but maybe Grace can do something.”
Conner swallowed and prayed that she wasn’t giving up. He wasn’t ready. Solomon wasn’t ready. “We don’t need to talk about this now.”
“Decisions have to be made.”
“Well, maybe you can stay with us.”
“Conner, please.” Pilar smiled wanly. “Don’t even think about asking Grace to move me into your house. She doesn’t need to become my caregiver.”
He paused. “I’ll look into the hospice for you.”
She nodded. “You should have all the papers you need.” They sat in the sadness of the silence. Pilar pressed her lips together, making her already bloodless-looking lips paler. She said, “I want Solomon’s name changed. I want him to be a Monroe.”
Conner nodded. He couldn’t speak.
“Maybe he could keep Cruise as his middle name,” she said, as if she hadn’t thought of that before.
“Yes.”
More saddening stillness surrounded them.
“I didn’t know what to expect when I came to Los Angeles all those weeks ago, but you’ve made this easy.”
Conner thought about how the time had been for him. He remembered when he wondered if he would lose his wife. And how, even now, they struggled with Jayde. But in the end, he knew that Grace and their children would be alive to celebrate.
Conner took Pilar’s hand. They sat together, allowing the past to converge with the present and understanding that no hope would allow them to share a future.
Conner frowned when he entered the silent house. Only the glow of the foyer chandelier lit the downstairs. He glanced at his watch, wondering how the time had slipped away. But it was only eight, though the house felt more like it was after midnight.
He peered into the kitchen. No signs of dinner. If it weren’t for Grace’s car in the garage, he would have thought no one was home.
He loosened his tie and climbed the stairs, struggling with each step. But he smiled the moment he opened the bedroom door and saw Grace sitting on the bed, with her legs stretched in front of her and her Bible resting on her lap.
“Hey, you.” He leaned against the door frame.
“You sound tired.”
He nodded, not noticing her tone. “It’s been a long day.” He moved toward the closet. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it home earlier. I know you wanted to talk about the press conference.”
“The press conference … was that today?”
He stopped, hearing her strain. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been calling you for hours.”
He patted his jacket and pulled out his cell phone. “I forgot to turn it back on. I was at the hospital.”
Grace placed the Bible on the bed and folded her arms. “You were there all day?”
He nodded. “From about two. Pilar needed to talk.”
Grace waited for him to go into the closet. Then she stood. “While you and Pilar were talking, Jayde was suspended from school for possession of drugs.”
Silent seconds slipped by before Conner walked out, shirtless and surprised.
“What did you say?”
She repeated her words, a bit louder this time.
His eyes widened. “Jayde’s taking drugs?”
“She said she’s not, but there’s still a problem, Conner, because she got the drugs from a nineteen-year-old she’s been hanging out with instead of going to tennis practice.”
Those words were the knockout punch, dropping Conner onto the bed in a daze.
“And then,” Grace continued, not allowing a ten-count, “I had to handle your son because he thought he was going to see his mother today.”
Conner massaged his eyes. “Was he upset?”
“That’s one word to describe it. When I couldn’t find you, Solomon was sure something had happened to his mother.”
“Oh, no.”
“I would’ve taken him to the hospital myself, but my mother and Devry had other plans. And with all that’s going on with Jayde, I didn’t want to leave the girls alone.”
Conner sighed and stood. “I’d better talk to Solomon.”
“Conner!” Grace took deep breaths to hold back her rising rage. “I just told you that your daughter was suspended, had drugs in her possession, and is seeing an older boy, and you don’t want to talk to her?”
His forehead crinkled with confusion. “Didn’t you already do that?”
“Yes,” Grace exclaimed, losing her battle to keep her voice steady. “And I talked to Solomon too. Both of your children need you.”
“Grace, Solomon is losing his mother.”
“And Jayde thinks she’s losing her father.”
His shock filled the silence that followed her words.
Grace sighed. “I spoke to Devry this afternoon, and she said that Jayde’s trying to get your attention.” They sat together on the bed. “Jayde is sure she’s losing your love.”
“That would never happen.”
Grace continued as if Conner had not spoken. “At the very least, she thinks she’ll start coming in second.” She paused. “And with how you’re handling this, she’s right.”
Conner held his head. “I thought Jayde could handle this. Amber’s fine.”
“Amber’s seven. Jayde’s a teenager experiencing emotions that she doesn’t even understand. We throw this at her and expect her to handle it like an adult.”
When Conner looked up, tears trimmed his eyes. “I want to do right by all of them.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, her anger fading, and she pulled him into her arms. “You’re a great father. We just have to remember all of our children.” She kissed him. “I’m sure Jayde’s still awake.”
Conner stood, and Grace followed him to the bedroom door where she waited while he walked down the hallway. He stopped at Jayde’s room and knocked. When Jayde opened the door, he beckoned her into the hall.
&n
bsp; Grace watched as Jayde took halting steps toward her father. Even thirty feet away, she could see the alarm in her daughter’s eyes.
Conner and Jayde stood, staring for seconds before Conner embraced his teenager. Grace stepped into her bedroom as Jayde sobbed in her father’s arms.
Chapter 49
“I told Conner what you said.” Grace tried to wipe the weariness from her eyes. “But I’m still having difficulty wrapping my brain around all that Jayde’s done.”
“Jayde’s traumatized. Once she understands that she’s loved anyway, she’ll get back to normal.”
“I’d love to have that moody teenager back.”
Devry laughed. “I’m going to remind you that you said that.”
Grace chewed on the corner of her lip. “You really think that Jayde’ll be all right?”
“As all right as any teenager can be. She’ll get used to looking up and seeing Solomon. And she’ll get used to sharing her room with Amber. She’ll come around.”
Grace sat up straight in her chair. She replayed Devry’s words in her mind. “I’ve got to go. Speak to you later.”
Minutes after their good-byes, Grace was still staring at the phone. How did she and Conner miss that?
She picked up the phone and dialed. “What time will you be home?”
“Is that an invitation?”
“I wish, but I’m exhausted.”
Conner agreed with his laughter. It had been a full week filled beyond the normal school activities and lessons. There was the added pressure of making sure Solomon was comfortable while working with his tutor. And with Conner and Solomon’s daily visits to Pilar and the preparations to have her moved to a hospice, the schedule had drained them all.
“So, if this isn’t an invitation, what are you asking?” Conner was still chuckling.
“We need to talk about Jayde.”
His sigh told Grace that his smile was gone.
“What’s she done now?”
Grace frowned. “Conner, we can’t think that every time Jayde’s name is mentioned, something’s wrong. This time, she’s fine. We’re the ones who messed up.” She paused. “Why are Jayde and Amber sharing a room?”
His silence told her he didn’t understand her question. She continued, “We’re the ones changing Amber and Jayde’s lives, but our daughters are the ones doing all the adapting.”
“And Jayde had to give up her room, her private space,” Conner said, then blew a loud breath. “What should we do?”
“I discovered the problem, Counselor. You find the solution.” She hung up smiling, knowing that Conner was probably sitting with his mouth open. Maybe their lives would shift now to some semblance of normalcy.
Grace punched the intercom. “Claudia, could you come in here?” She was ready to get to work. It looked like home was finally going to be able to take care of itself.
Chapter 50
Starlight smiled as she sat across from the senator. Since that first time more than four weeks before, Starlight and Senator Bonet had met in the Bel Air lobby a dozen times.
“Starlight, Summer is already a new woman. Not only is she in school, but she got a part-time job at Ultimate Records.” She paused. “I bet you had something to do with that.”
Starlight lowered her eyes, then spoke to the senator through her downcast lashes. “Senator, Summer is doing this herself. I’m just bringing out what’s already inside.” Though her voice was soft and steady, her legs were shaking under the table. She knew rewards were waiting.
The senator laid her hand on top of Starlight’s. “I owe you.”
Yes, you do, Starlight’s mind screamed. But she sat, cool as an ice block. She kept her breathing even, anticipating what was coming.
“You have delivered,” the senator continued. “Now it’s my turn.” She pulled a folder from her briefcase and slid it across the table.
Starlight waited a moment before she opened it.
“If you can get these kinds of results with Summer, we need you in Washington.”
Starlight’s eyes scanned the first page of the proposal, searching for the financials. She turned the page and stared at the budget.
“I’ve discussed this with some of my associates, and this is our proposal. For the first session, with members of the Senate, senator’s wives, and other influential women in Washington, we will raise enough to pay you fifty thousand dollars.”
The senator continued, but her explanation met deaf ears. Starlight nodded, as if she was listening, but the last words she heard were “fifty thousand dollars.”
For the last year, Starlight had received almost ten thousand dollars for each engagement. Her hope had been to reach fifteen, even twenty. But this … she was approaching the levels of some celebrities.
“I know that you need time to peruse this.”
No, I don’t, Starlight thought.
“There are probably items you want to add.”
What else could I need?
“Of course, the fee is negotiable.”
Starlight stared at the senator. The first thing she was going to do was train these politicians how to negotiate. She closed the folder. “I’ll look over this.”
Senator Bonet reached for her briefcase. “By the way, I really wish I could attend your Revival, but Summer will be there. And she’s bringing a few friends.”
“I believe the Revival will take Summer to where you really want her to be.”
“She’s already taking the right steps.” The senator looked at her watch. “I have to go, but let’s meet after the Revival. I want to hear all about it.” She paused. “In fact, I’ll have you over for dinner.”
Starlight stood with the senator.
“After we’ve done the workshops in D.C., we may want to put together an East Coast Revival.”
Starlight shook Senator Bonet’s hand.
“Are you walking out now?” the senator asked.
“No, I’m going to finish my tea.”
“Give me a call next week.”
When the senator was out of sight, Starlight stared at the proposal once again. Then she signaled for the waiter.
“Yes, Ms. Starlight.”
Her eyes roamed over the young man. He was twenty, maybe twenty-two or twenty-three, slightly built, probably a surfer from the way his blond waves curved over his head. She crossed her legs. “I’d like an apple martini.”
“Coming right up.”
She watched him saunter away, his black pants hugging his backside like a pair of new leather gloves. “Hmmm.”
When the waiter returned with her drink, she smiled her thank-you. “Put this on Senator Bonet’s tab.”
He nodded and turned away, and as she watched him, Starlight leaned back, licked her lips, took a sip of the green liquid, and began her celebration.
Chapter 51
Grace’s heels clicked along the antiseptic white tiles of the fourth floor intensive care unit. Although Pilar had been admitted three weeks before, this was the first time she’d visited. She felt these trips were for Conner and Solomon. She wouldn’t be here now if it hadn’t been for Pilar’s call.
She stopped at the nurses’ station and was directed to Room 407 across from the desk. Grace took a breath before opening the door. Though the window’s shades were drawn, the room was still bright in its whiteness. She squinted before she stepped inside.
Although she had requested a private room for Pilar, there were no amenities. The room was institutionally bare, with just a single bed, a box-styled nightstand, and two plastic chairs in front of the window.
Every night, Conner reported Pilar’s deterioration. The doctors said these were the final stages. There was nothing medication could do. But even with their prayers and that knowledge, she was worse than Grace had imagined.
Pilar lay still, on her back, eyes closed.
Grace took a few steps forward and stopped. She held her breath until she saw the thin sheet rise, then fall against Pilar’s chest. Sh
e waited a few seconds, then turned back toward the door. But she’d taken only two steps when Pilar called her.
Grace forced a smile and faced her. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I was, but I’m glad I heard you.” She pushed a button on the remote wrapped around the bed’s rail and raised the top half of the mattress. Still, she was reclining more than sitting up. “Thank you for coming.”
Grace stood in place, wishing that she had questioned Pilar when she phoned. But she’d been so surprised by the call that she had agreed to Pilar’s request.
“Please sit down.” Pilar motioned toward a chair with the ease of a woman inviting a guest into her home.
Grace pulled the chair closer to the bed, sat down, crossed her ankles, and lowered her eyes because she didn’t want to stare at the thin-skinned skeleton before her.
“You don’t like being here.”
Her words forced Grace to meet her gaze. “I’m glad to see you, Pilar. I’m just sorry you’re here.”
Pilar coughed, a long dry hack that emerged from her center. “I won’t keep you.” She gestured toward the water pitcher on the table.
Grace filled a small paper cup and handed it to Pilar. It took her a minute to finish the water, and then she crushed the paper in her hand. “I’m looking death in her eye. I thought I’d be ready, but it’s very hard.”
Grace opened her mouth to protest but changed her mind.
“I’ll make this short, Grace.” She coughed again. “There are two things I need to tell you.” She paused. “First, you need to know that you were right about me.”
“About what?”
“The DNA test.”
Pilar coughed, and Grace’s heart beat as if it were coming through her chest.
“There was a reason that I wanted the test done at NYCMC.”
Pilar waited for Grace to speak, but when she said nothing, she licked her lips and continued, “I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if Conner was Solomon’s father.”
Her relief did not stop her heart from pounding. She hadn’t been crazy. But what would this news do to Conner? And Solomon?
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