by Aurora Rey
“Why don’t we call her? Even if she’s upset, I can’t imagine she wouldn’t pick up.”
Nora fixed her with an icy stare. “You don’t know anything.”
And then, just like Graham, she was gone.
Will hugged her arms around herself. The sudden chill that rippled through her had nothing to do with the temperature. What was she supposed to do now? Standing in Nora’s foyer probably wasn’t it. She headed back to the bedroom, tugged on the rest of her clothes, and pulled her phone out of her pants pocket. Nora would certainly be trying to get Graham on the phone. Not wanting to make the situation any more overwhelming than it already was, Will settled on a text. She started and erased several before settling on one she felt okay with.
I’m sorry that was crazy weird. Your aunt is freaking out. Please call her. And me.
Whether or not Graham replied, Will decided she needed to get out. Nora’s reaction sat heavy in her chest. Even if Will could understand her worry about Graham, the cold and dismissive way Nora had spoken to her left her feeling panicky. And small. She’d not felt that small since her last fight with Kai.
She’d returned her phone to her pocket, but took it out again. She turned the ringer all the way up, then started to text Nora. She agonized even more over what to say to her. In the end, she couldn’t find a way to articulate even a fraction of what she was feeling. She decided to keep it simple.
Please touch base when you hear from Graham. I’ll do the same.
She added an “xo,” then deleted it. Added it and deleted it a second time, then hit send. She grabbed her wallet and keys, then let herself out. She stood on the porch for several minutes, obsessing over whether she should lock the door or leave it open. Surely, Nora had her keys. And it wasn’t like Will would need to get back in until she’d heard from Nora. She flipped the lock and pulled the door closed behind her, trying to dispel the foreboding that came with the gesture.
Unsure of how much she should try to intervene, Will walked to Commercial Street. She’d keep an eye out for both Graham and Nora. And then what? Go home. There wasn’t much else she could do.
Feeling both restless and useless, she walked the length of Commercial, past the Boatslip and into the residential part of the West End. Not that she expected to happen upon them, but turning around still felt like admitting defeat. By the time she got back to the center of town, the last thing Will felt like doing was returning to her apartment. But the sun was beginning to set. It was cold and she only had a light jacket. And she wasn’t doing anyone any good.
She climbed the hill alongside of the monument quickly, making her legs burn. From the driveway, she could see lights already on in her apartment. She walked in to find Kaylee and Cheyenne on the couch, drinking beer and watching a Red Sox spring training game.
“Hey, lover boy. We didn’t expect to see you tonight,” Kaylee said.
“Yeah. Trouble in paradise?”
For the first time since she’d moved in, Will detested the fact that she had roommates. “Not feeling all that great. Just going to try and sleep it off.”
Cheyenne’s face took on a sympathetic look. “That sucks. You need anything?”
Will offered a weak smile. “No, I’m going to crash in my room.”
“We’ll turn down the game.”
Will waved a hand. “No, don’t do that. I’ll be fine.”
Without waiting for a response, Will headed to her room. She turned on the overhead light, then flinched at how bright it seemed. She swapped it out for the lamp on her nightstand, then flopped on the bed. She kicked off her boots and pulled out her phone. No response from Nora or Graham. Great.
She checked the clock. Barely seven. Emerson should be done with dinner. She dialed her number and tried to decide how to explain what had transpired in the last few hours.
“Hey, stranger.” Emerson’s voice was upbeat and familiar.
Before she could stop herself, Will started to cry. “Hey.”
“What’s wrong?”
Will made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cough. “How do you know something is wrong?”
“Because I know you. What is it? What happened?”
Will took a deep breath. “Graham just walked in on Nora and me.”
“Walked in on you—”
“In bed. Not having sex, but in bed. Naked.”
“Ah. Okay. What did she say?”
“‘What the fuck?’”
“Hey, I’m just asking.”
Will shook her head, even though Emerson couldn’t see her. “No, that’s what she said. All she said. Then she left.”
“Oh.”
“And Nora flipped out and went chasing after her.”
“Oh, man. Do you think she’s really pissed?”
Will sighed. “Graham or Nora?”
“I was talking about Graham. Why would Nora be pissed?”
“I don’t know, but she freaked out. I told her to calm down and she pretty much said I didn’t know anything. Then she told me to leave.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah. I’ve texted both of them, but neither of them has replied. And now I’m home and hiding in my room and I have no idea what to do.”
There was a pause on the line. “Do you want me to come over?”
That she offered meant the world to Will. It also made her feel like a fuck-up. Once again. “No. It’s late. And a school night.”
“I haven’t turned into a total early bird. I want to help. What can I do?”
How many times had Emerson asked her that? How many times had she let Emerson calm her down, or lift her spirits, or bail her out of trouble? She’d finally thought that things were balancing out, that she had her shit together enough that she wouldn’t be in need of rescue. As much as she wanted Emerson to say whatever she would say that would invariably make her feel better, Will suddenly regretted calling her. “Nothing. I think I needed to say it out loud. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“You didn’t. You never bother me. Ever.”
“Thanks. This will work itself out, I’m sure. Thanks for listening.”
“Will, I’ve hardly listened at all. Do you want to talk in person? You can come here, too. Liam is doing homework and Darcy is helping me upgrade my website. You’re not interrupting anything.”
But that was just it. She was interrupting. Emerson was having a perfectly nice, normal evening at home with her family and Will was busting in with all her drama. Yet again. “I’m good. Really. Thanks, though.”
“Are you sure?”
Emerson sounded incredulous, but Will was pretty sure she wouldn’t push it. Will cleared her throat and channeled as much positivity as she could muster into her voice. “Totally sure. Have a good night. I’ll check in tomorrow.”
“Okay. Call anytime. I mean it.”
“I will. Love you.”
“You, too.”
Will ended the call and stared at her phone. Although she wanted to talk to Nora to hear her voice, trying to talk to her before the Graham situation was under control would be a lost cause. She dialed Graham’s number. It rang and rang. Will tried to formulate what she wanted to leave as a voice mail.
“What do you want?” Graham’s voice, more wounded than angry, caught Will off guard.
“I want to talk, and to apologize.”
“For sleeping with my aunt or for lying to me about it?”
Shit. She really should have thought out what she wanted to say before calling. “I didn’t lie.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me rephrase. Are you sorry for having an affair with Aunt Nora or for keeping it a secret despite the hundred or so times we’ve talked and texted in the last two months?”
“I…”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I guess that explains why you weren’t interested in me.”
“Graham.” For the first time since it happened, Will flashed back to the awkward kiss after the New Year’s party. She’d taken Graham’s explanat
ion—and quick dismissal—at face value. Clearly, a colossal misjudgment on her part.
“You could have at least told me, instead of letting me make a complete fool of myself.”
“I didn’t mean to keep it from you. Nora thought—”
“What? That I wouldn’t take it well? No shit.”
“Graham, I’m really sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt.”
The extended silence made Will think that maybe Graham had hung up on her. “Well, you could have fooled me.”
Graham did hang up, then. Will looked at the screen of her phone. Call ended. Will stood and started to pace. Talking to Nora couldn’t go any worse than that. Will dialed her number and waited. This time, it did go to voice mail. While she waited for Nora’s greeting to end, she scrambled for the right words. “Hi. It’s me. I don’t know if you found Graham, but I just talked to her. She’s angry, but she at least took my call. I’m at my place. I don’t know what to do right now, but I’m sorry. Please call me.”
Will ended the call. Now, on top of feeling useless, she could add pathetic. Great.
She sat on the bed again, flopped back, but left her legs dangling over the edge. She stayed like that until her back began to ache. She pulled her legs up, rolled onto her side. She looked at her phone for the millionth time. She sent Nora a couple of pleading texts. She stared at the wall. She checked her phone again. She heard her roommates go to bed. She turned off her lamp and waited for it to be morning.
Chapter Twenty
Nora walked for what felt like hours. She tried the pier, the Squealing Pig, the benches in front of the library as well as the ones in front of town hall. There were a thousand places Graham could have gone or she could still be walking. If she didn’t want to be found, Nora had little hope.
Where are you?
Nora looked at her phone. The last half dozen texts had been from Will. Finally, one from Graham. She stopped walking just long enough to type a reply. I’m looking for you.
Waiting for Graham’s answer was torture.
I’m home. Your place.
Relief washed over her. I’ll be right there. Please don’t go anywhere.
The walk back didn’t take more than fifteen minutes, but it felt like an eternity. She arrived panicked again and out of breath and found Graham sitting on the front stoop. “Graham.”
“The front door is locked.”
Will must have gone. That fact made her heart hurt, even if she knew it was for the best. She’d taken her keys—she always took her keys—so she unlocked the door and let them in. “Thank you for coming back.”
Graham didn’t make eye contact. “I didn’t really have anywhere else to go.”
Nora took a deep breath. That was partially true, but Nora knew she had at least one credit card. If Graham had been adamant, she could have checked herself into a hotel. “I’m still glad you came back.”
Graham shrugged. “I left my stuff. I didn’t even have my wallet.”
Okay, so maybe she really didn’t have a choice. Still. Nora didn’t intend to waste the opportunity to apologize, to explain. “I’m sorry.”
Graham turned on her, eyes puffy and red. “Sorry you’re fucking Will or sorry I caught you?”
Despite the crushing guilt in Nora’s chest, she was still Graham’s aunt and bristled at the accusation. “There’s no need for that language.”
“I’m only articulating what you’re doing. Oh, wait. Or is she fucking you? That’s probably her style.”
“Graham.”
“Don’t ‘Graham’ me, Aunt Nora. I can’t believe you would do this to me.”
And just like that, all the casual conversations, all the little observations of the fall returned. Nora remembered why she’d been hesitant to give Will a chance. She’d been convinced Will was trying to make a move on Graham. As that fear had been dispelled, she’d lost sight of the flip side—that Graham had an interest in Will. “I had no intention of hurting you. I hope you can believe that.”
Graham shook her head. “You didn’t even like her. I’m the one who convinced you to hire her, to give her a chance.”
“And you were right.”
Graham laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I can’t fucking believe it. Seriously.”
Nora’s heart ached. How could she have been so stupid? “It just happened. We spent so much time together. What can I do?”
“Right now? Nothing.”
“You’ll stay, though? You can have your old room. Will is gone and she isn’t coming back.”
Graham picked up her bag and, without another word, disappeared into the room she’d occupied for so many months. Nora sat on the stairs and scrubbed a hand over her face. How could she have made such a terrible mistake?
* * *
Will jerked awake to the sound of a text notification. She must have fallen asleep at some point because the sun shone bright against the blinds of her room. She fumbled in the covers for a moment until she found her phone.
Graham is here. She doesn’t want to see you. I don’t either.
The anxiety of the night before became a chill that settled in her chest and worked its way out. It wasn’t just that Nora didn’t want to see her, although that stung plenty. No, it was the dismissive tone. More than anger or frustration, it told Will loud and clear that she didn’t matter.
The need to hole up vanished. In its place, a desperation to get out, get as far away from her current situation as she possibly could.
She didn’t have a lot of options. Her funds were getting low, so any sort of paid accommodation was out of the question. Immediately, she thought of Leigh. Their friendship was one of the few that hadn’t imploded during the reign of Kai. Even though they weren’t super close, they’d crashed at each other’s places plenty over the years—when they’d lived in the same city and when they hadn’t.
An hour and a flurry of texts later, she’d learned that Leigh was traveling for work, but would love nothing more than to have Will check on her place and stay a while. She then had an exchange with Emerson, filling her in on her plans and promising she’d only be gone a week.
It took her less time to pack than it had taken her to decide to leave. She finished cramming clothes into her duffel bag and looked around. A small part of her was tempted to clear out completely. It wouldn’t be hard. Except for the thrift store furniture she’d bought with her roommates to make the apartment homier, she didn’t own much. She could box up the books and mementos, fit everything in her car.
She shook her head. She was done with running. Regardless of what happened with Nora or with Graham, Provincetown was her home now. Clearing out for a little while was a breather, a reset button. Not only did she believe that, she’d promised Emerson it was true. Sure, that promise might be all that stopped her right now, but she’d take it. She went out to the living room and scribbled a note for her roommates, assuring them she’d be back in a few days. She threw her things in the back of her car and got on the road.
Will spent the twenty minutes it took to get to Wellfleet wrestling with whether to stop and see Emerson. As much as she didn’t want to disappear without seeing her, stopping to say goodbye had a weird formality to it. Or finality, maybe. Either way, she didn’t want it to be a thing. And she’d promised she would be back soon. That’s what mattered.
It took about eight hours to get to D.C. She was equal parts disappointed and relieved that Leigh was in Europe for work. As much as she missed her, she appreciated not having to explain herself, at least not right away.
She knocked on the next door neighbor’s door as Leigh had instructed. Wayne, a retired accountant in his seventies, was chatty, but Will was able to keep the conversation superficial. After procuring the key and promising to let him know if she needed anything, Will let herself into Leigh’s condo and breathed a sigh of relief.
She unpacked the groceries she’d picked up to tide her over for a couple of days, then wandered around the beautiful space. She’d
visited once before, but not since Leigh had redone the kitchen and bathrooms. It was a bit modern for her personal tastes, but Will couldn’t fault the design or the precision of the work.
Upstairs, she found a giant jetted tub in the master bathroom. She’d never been one for baths, but this tub warranted an exception. She ran the water as hot as she could stand it and pulled off her clothes.
Half an hour later, she dragged herself from the water, relaxed but exhausted. After pulling on boxers and T-shirt, she checked her phone. She had a text from Emerson, checking to make sure she’d arrived. The casual tone of it didn’t seem forced, nor did the assertion that Will knew how to get in touch if she needed anything.
Something about that brief exchange brought Will close to tears. It wasn’t the first time Emerson had offered support. Like before, she’d done it lightly, without pressure or judgment. When she was with Kai, she’d resented that support. Even with a gentle delivery, it implied something was wrong. At the time, Will had refused to accept that. Thinking about her reactions—flip, dismissive, even exasperated—gave her a profound sense of regret.
She knew better than to try to say as much in a text. Poor Emerson would think she was having a full-on meltdown. She’d save it for now. But once she was home, she’d find a way to show Emerson how much the subtle interventions meant to her. In the meantime, she kept her reply light, going so far as to call her trip a mini vacation before her job on the Dolphin Fleet started again.
Will climbed into Leigh’s gorgeous queen sized bed. It wasn’t so big it should feel lonely, but it did. She’d gotten more used to sleeping with Nora than sleeping alone. Will shook her head. She would not wallow. Wallowing would do absolutely no good.
Will was telling herself the same thing four hours later when she’d yet to fall asleep. She finally drifted off as the sun rose. When she woke however many hours later, she had no idea where she was or how much time had passed. She snagged her phone from the nightstand and breathed a sigh of relief. Just after ten. Even if she wasn’t well-rested, she’d likely not upended her entire sleep pattern.