Fix You, Bash and Olivia Book One

by Christine Bell

  "I-if you want me to answer you, stop doing that for a sec," I murmured desperately.

  “Doing what?” His voice was low and husky, like his throat was raw from screaming. Or tight with need. He was as far-gone as I was.

  The knowledge sent every nerve ending firing at once and, helpless to stop it, I flexed my hips against his in a slow grind, reveling in the thick evidence of his arousal.

  “Kissing me,” I croaked, and paused to moisten my throbbing lips. “And…touching me.”

  But apparently, whatever he’d needed to know wasn’t that important, because he didn’t stop. His fingers blazed a trail over my rib cage and higher, to trace the underside of my breast. I strained closer to him, and my nipple peaked in anticipation of his touch when a low buzzing sound reached my ears. Maybe the blood pounding in my head?

  “Your phone,” Bash muttered against my mouth. He pulled away, the breath sawing in and out of his lungs, and jerked his chin toward the floor where my cell sat.

  We both looked down at the name that lit the screen.

  Andy.

  Chapter Six

  Bash

  “Answer it if you want to.”

  I wasn’t trying to be a dick or pull some reverse psychology on her. It was obvious by her stricken expression that whatever crazy-ass chemistry had been going on between us that made her kiss me had died a quick death the second she saw his name. No point in pretending otherwise. It fucking stung, though.

  She pressed her fingers to her mouth and shook her head. “I-I don’t want to.”

  That might be true, but his call definitely changed things. This was exactly the kind of complication my life didn’t need right now. Eye on the prize, Bash. And the prize was and would always be getting the hell out of Boston, ASAP. I couldn’t afford to lose sight of that again and I sure as hell couldn’t afford to get lost in this girl’s confused, stormy eyes.

  I adjusted the strap of my bag over my shoulder and resisted the urge to adjust my dick while I was at it. While my mind was made up, that fucker still hadn’t caught on to the fact that his presence was no longer required at this little party, and was pushing insistently at the waistband of my gym pants.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Not that I didn’t want to. I…did.” Her tongue peeked out and swiped her plump bottom lip.

  Walk away.

  “It’s fine,” I said, and then cleared my throat of the leftover huskiness. “It was just a kiss.”

  Lies.

  She nodded uncertainly. “Sure. I know.”

  The phone had stopped buzzing and I almost wished it would start again just to break the heavy silence.

  “Do you have to go, though?” she asked softly. “I won’t do that again.”

  But I would. Now that I’d tasted her, I would think of nothing else until I got more. Her mouth was my drug. I knew it the second our lips touched. Hell, maybe before. And the only way to break an addiction was to go cold turkey.

  “I have to get ready for work soon.” Steeling myself against the despair on her face, I grabbed the bottle of water she’d given me and headed purposefully toward the door.

  To her credit, she didn’t ask again. When we reached the front door, I turned to face her, which was my first mistake.

  “Thank you, Bash. For everything.” Her gaze was solemn and the pretty pink that had flushed her cheeks for the past hour was gone, leaving her looking tired and pale. “I’ll never forget what you taught me. I’ll practice every day.”

  Until Andy came home. And then what? She wouldn’t be ready to handle him if he lost his shit when she told him she didn’t want to be with him anymore. That, even assuming she was able to work up the nerve to break up with him at all. What if something happened to her? How could I live with myself knowing that I walked away from this situation when I knew far better than she did exactly how volatile it could become? How could I turn her away when she needed a friend?

  Fuck.

  I raked a hand through my hair and swallowed a curse. No matter what I did, at least one of us was going to get hurt. But if I saw this through, could I muster the will to resist her long enough to make sure that once Andy got home, she was safe?

  She stared at me, wide eyes full of sadness, lips still swollen from kissing me, and I realized it didn’t matter. I’d been fooling myself from the start if I thought I had a choice in the matter. It was all about damage control now.

  “We can do a couple more lessons if you want. But I’m done for today.” I had ninety minutes before work, but at least an hour of that would be spent training until I’d burned off some of this frustration, and the rest would be spent taking a cold shower.

  Her face lit up instantly. “Tomorrow then?”

  “Sure.”

  I let myself out and she waved from the door, the relief plain in her gaze. She seemed to feel a lot better about the situation, but it was only because she didn’t know what I knew. This pie-in-the-sky idea of hers where she thought we could pretend that the kiss had never happened, and that Andy was going to come back and accept their breakup with a Coke and a smile, and that we could be friends, she and I, until school was over or I left? It could never happen. We could never be friends. The pull between us was too strong, the connection too deep, right from the start. I had no doubt that, someway, somehow, the two of us were going to ruin each other.

  The only question now was if we’d each be able to pick up the pieces when it was over.

  ###

  Olivia

  Three days later…

  “How ya like me now, you bastard!” I rolled off another quick series of moves Bash had taught me and then sneered into the mirror. “Go on, get out of here,” I called after my imaginary assailant.

  “Bravo.” The voice came from directly behind me and I whipped around to find a guy around my age in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, clapping. “But you’re going to want to get that knee a little higher unless your attacker is a jockey or a dwarf.”

  Humiliation, thy name is Olivia.

  I managed a tight smile in spite of my embarrassment. “I was just fooling around waiting on Bash.” I jerked my head toward the stairs heading to the second-floor apartment. “He should be back any second if you need him. He went to get tape or something.”

  The guy nodded his dirty-blond head and stuck out his hand. “Actually, I’m Bash’s big brother, Matthias. I live upstairs too.”

  I shook his hand, noting the resemblance now. He was a little smaller than Bash, and not as dark. His eyes were a moss green instead of that bright blue, but he was almost as good-looking as his younger brother.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Olivia.”

  His lips kicked up in a wry smile. “You don’t say?”

  Strange. Had Bash mentioned me? I opened my mouth to reply when Bash came jogging down the stairs, a frown crinkling his brow.

  “What are you doing back here, bro?”

  They faced off like opponents in the ring, and Matthias crossed his arms over his chest. “I got halfway there and realized I forgot my overnight bag. But the bigger question is, what are you doing?”

  I glanced from one brother and back again, realizing I’d stepped into something but having no clue what it was.

  “Last time I checked, I didn’t have to answer to you.” Bash’s tone was low and menacing, and his eyes glittered with an icy challenge.

  This was our third and final training session and we’d spent most of it and the previous one mock-beating the crap out of each other. He was great at playing the attacker, and sometimes even scared the crap out of me with his expressions, but I hadn’t seen him look this fierce since the day he’d clocked Andy in the mouth.

  Matthias must have seen it too, because he looked at his brother hard and long before popping off a curt nod. “You’re right on that score. So I guess I’ll just move along, then.”

  The tension abated some, and I took a deep breath. Oookay…

  “Olivia, it was nice to
meet you,” Matthias said, tipping his head in my direction and offering me a thin smile before looking back at Bash. “Bro, hold down the fort. I’ll be back early a.m.”

  He went to the front of the room and snagged a black bag that had been sitting on the counter. “I think Reid’s back tomorrow too, so we’ll grab some eats out for dinner?”

  Bash nodded, “Sounds good.”

  Matthias left without another word and I faced Bash. “So what gives?”

  The cord in his neck flexed and he took his time answering. “I told him about you and what happened with Andy. He’s worried that I’m getting too involved and wants to make sure I keep my nose clean. That’s all.”

  I wasn’t sure that was all, but I did get the feeling that what he’d told me was true. The rest of the blanks filled themselves in. “Which is why we trained at my gym the first two times…” I said quietly, as much to myself as to him. Their gym was much more equipped for what we were doing, but he hadn’t wanted his brothers to meet me. I couldn’t blame him for that, after all the trouble I’d caused, but my throat went a little tight anyway.

  Bash stepped closer and took my chin in his hand. His voice was gentle. “Look, it’s not because I care what they think. It’s because I didn’t want to hear their shit. Don’t sweat it. It’s not your problem.”

  I nodded and tried to shake off the feeling. Only now, with his hand on me, all kinds of other feelings were flooding in.

  He might feel the same pull you do, but he doesn’t want to want this, I reminded myself. He’s just trying to be nice.

  Then his gaze dropped from my eyes to my mouth and he looked anything but nice.

  We’d tiptoed around each other in our last session, making every effort not to touch…making stupid jokes whenever a moment got tense, or when one of us caught the other staring too long. It was torture. But the alternative was to call it quits. To tell him that I was going to skip our last session. Not happening.

  Andy would be back tomorrow. School would start again the following day. This was our last chance to…what? Even once I made it clear to Andy that we’re never ever ever getting back together, nothing could come of it with Bash. The odds of my being able to afford Crestville next semester were slim, and on the off chance I could, Bash wouldn’t be here anyway. He was leaving Boston as soon as he could manage it.

  I felt torn in half. I could seize the day. Take what was in front of me and savor every second knowing that, when it was over, walking away would be even harder.

  Or I could cut and run. Spend the rest of my life wondering what I’d missed out on but maybe spare myself the ultimate pain. I might not believe in love at first sight, even now, but I believed that you could see a person and your souls could recognize each other’s and connect in a way that was special. As crazy at it seemed, that was what had happened with Bash. I’d never felt that way about a boy before. Not even early on when things were good with Andy.

  What if I never felt it again?

  When I met Bash’s gaze again, the emotion there made my legs quiver. Every thought and feeling I’d been having was reflected in his beautiful blue eyes. His voice was pained when he finally spoke the words out loud.

  “I want you, Liv, but this will only make things harder.” He slipped a hand into my hair and his eyes searched my face like he was trying to memorize every detail. “I can’t promise you tomorrow.”

  I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his jaw, my decision made.

  “Then give me tonight.”

  Chapter Seven

  Bash

  I could barely hear her with the blood pounding in my ears, but I was so far-gone, I didn’t need the words. Quashing that last shred of guilt, I tipped my head and kissed her.

  For the past week, I’d dreamed about her every night. About the first time I’d held her. About the first time we’d kissed. And every night I woke up in a sweat, wondering if there was any possible way it had really been like that, or ever could be again. Two virtual strangers, touching mouths. How good could it be?

  So fucking good.

  Better than good. And when we kissed, it was like our bodies had never not known each other. Like two halves of a magnet, drawn together, fit tight.

  Her mouth tasted like candy and I touched my tongue to hers. A wave of need crashed over me, pooling low in my stomach. I groaned right as she moaned and shivered in my arms. Desperate for more, I squeezed her closer, until all my hard parts were lined up with her soft ones. The throbbing in my groin was like a heartbeat now, and when she ground her hips against me, it was like heaven and hell all at once.

  I dropped the tape I had in my hand and gripped her hips in my fingers, anchoring her to me, lost in the rhythm as we strained against each other. She whimpered against my mouth and locked her arms around my neck. Slowly, I inched forward, inching her backward, kissing her all the while. She let out a gasp when her back hit the concrete wall, but I was exactly where I wanted to be. I hitched her up high, cupping her sweet ass in my hands, using the wall for leverage, until her legs were wrapped around my waist.

  The low hum of satisfaction deep in her throat echoed my own as my cock met her soft center. With only the thin cotton of gym clothes between us, the contact was searing. Her hips flexed against mine, over and over as I rained kisses over her face and neck. The tension was coiling tighter; the need to be inside her, to feel that wet heat pulling at me, was enough to make my muscles quake.

  “Upstairs,” she whispered. “Please, Bash. Now.”

  Her words threaded their way through the haze of sex clouding my mind and I paused. She was right. We only had a dozen guys who trained here and none of them were scheduled for today, but I wasn’t willing to risk it. Not with Olivia.

  Rather than set her down, I scooped her up high and tossed her over my shoulder in a fireman’s hold. She squealed in laughing protest, but there was a method to my madness and she stopped squealing the second I slid my hand between her thighs.

  “Oh, that feels good,” she murmured.

  Fuck yeah, it did. The heat was pouring off her and when I thought of that heat wrapped around my cock, my knees nearly buckled.

  I resisted the urge to take the stairs two at a time. I had precious cargo, and the two of us taking a dive down the steps because I couldn’t get up them fast enough would definitely kill the mood. If we only had one night, it needed to be perfect.

  My gut clenched at the reminder and I shoved it away, refusing to think about anything but here and now.

  We reached the top of the stairs and I hung a left, heading straight for my room. The bed wasn’t made, and there were some clothes on the floor, but all in all, not too bad. I’d take it. I bent and set her on the ground and then straightened.

  “If you want to change your mind, I won’t be mad.” It nearly killed me to say those words, but I wanted to give her one last chance to think it over before I made sure she couldn’t think at all.

  She shook her head slowly and laid a hand over my heart. “Not a chance.”

  Relief poured through me, chasing away all but that last stubborn chunk of foreboding in my gut.

  Here and now.

  I took her hand and led her to stand by the bed. She managed a shaky smile and gripped the edge of her T-shirt, then tugged it over her head in one fluid motion. I wanted to tell her how amazing she looked, but all I could manage was a muttered, “Jesus.”

  She was wearing a sports bra underneath her shirt, but it was small, and sheer and white and covered just about nothing. Her tight, rosy nipples were clearly visible beneath the gauzy fabric.

  In a trance of lust and want, without hesitation, I dropped my head low and took one gently in my teeth. She let out a hiss and cupped my head, urging me closer. I licked and sucked until she was chanting my name, fingers digging into my scalp.

  She tasted so good and her responses were so fucking hot and uninhibited, it took everything I had to stop. She murmured a protest, but went quiet when I stripped my own shirt ov
er my head and tossed it on the floor next to hers.

  “Your body is ridiculous,” she murmured, almost reverently. Her eyes ate me alive, sending the blood pounding in my ears straight south to join the rest of it, filling my cock to near bursting.

  I might have survived unscathed if she’d stopped and let me do my thing. But she didn’t. Her want-glazed eyes locked onto my waistband, where the head of my cock was fighting the good fight for freedom. She dropped to her knees like a marionette with its strings cut and tugged my pants down.

  “Wow.”

  I shook my dizzy head and let out a pained laugh. Of all the things you want a girl to say the first time she sees your dick, “wow” is pretty high on the list, but in the state I was in, that and a stiff breeze had the potential to end me.

  When she closed her fingers around me and bent her face closer, I squeezed my eyes closed to block out the sight. That coupled with the sensation of her hands on me was system overload.

  “Can I?”

  The laugh never came out this time, which was good, because it was likely the kind that you only heard in the loony bin. Gorgeous, funny, wounded Olivia Beckett wanted to know if she could wrap those gorgeous lips—lips that haunted my dreams—around my dick.

  She didn’t wait for an answer. Her mouth closed over me. Hot, wet silk winding its way around my cock, pulling and sucking, gripping and tasting. I was shaking and near cross-eyed with the effort of not coming when she pulled back and peered up at me, desire plain on her face, but coupled with nerves.

  “Is that okay? Am I doing it okay?”

  I wondered briefly if Andy had given her a complex, but then put that thought on lockdown. I refused to let him in here. Not tonight. I pulled her to her feet and stared into her eyes, making sure she could see the truth there. “More than okay. Too good. That’s why you have to stop. It’s killing me.”

  She smiled, and my heart gave a kick. “Later, then.”

  I tucked that promise away and pushed her backward onto the bed. She didn’t waste any time stripping off her pants. When she lay back in only her bra and matching underwear, I took a mental picture. Her long dark hair spread over my pillow, her flat stomach and curvy hips, her lean, sexy legs. She was a wet dream come to life and she was all mine.