by Ian Doescher
 
   Copyright © 2015 by Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM. All rights reserved.
   Used under authorization.
   All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
   Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2014953126
   eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-819-6
   Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-59474-806-6
   Text by Ian Doescher
   Illustrations by Nicolas Delort
   Production management by John J. McGurk
   Quirk Books
   215 Church Street
   Philadelphia, PA 19106
   quirkbooks.com
   v3.1
   TO ETHAN YOUNGERMAN, BARD OF NEW YORK,
   AND TO CHRIS MARTIN, JEDI OF THE SOUTH.
   TO HEIDI ALTMAN, FORCE IN OLD D.C.,
   AND TO NAOMI WALCOTT, FAR-FLUNG MUSE
   Contents
   Cover
   Title Page
   Copyright
   Dedication
   Dramatis Personae
   Prologue
   Act I Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
   Act II Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
   Scene 6
   Act III Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
   Act IV Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
   Scene 6
   Act V Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Afterword
   Acknowledgments
   About the Authors
   DRAMATIS PERSONAE
   CHORUS
   RUMOR
   YODA, a Jedi Master
   QUI-GON JINN, a Jedi Knight
   OBI-WAN KENOBI, his Jedi apprentice
   MACE WINDU and KI-ADI-MUNDI, Jedi Knights
   QUEEN PADMÉ AMIDALA, of Naboo
   SABÉ, her handmaiden and decoy
   ANAKIN SKYWALKER, a boy of Tatooine
   SHMI SKYWALKER, his mother
   R2-D2, a droid
   C-3PO, a droid
   KITSTER, SEEK, AMEE, and WALD, friends of Anakin
   SIO BIBBLE, governor of Naboo
   CAPTAIN PANAKA and RIC OLIÉ, gentlemen of Naboo
   BOSS NASS, ruler of the Gungan tribe
   JAR JAR BINKS, a Gungan clown
   CAPTAIN TARPALS, a Gungan soldier
   CHANCELL VALORUM, of the Senate
   SENATOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS, a senator of Naboo and Sith Lord
   DARTH MAUL, a Sith
   NUTE GUNRAY, viceroy of the Trade Federation
   DAULTAY DOFINE, RUNE HAAKO, and TEY HOW, gentlemen of the Trade Federation
   WATTO, a tradesman of Tatooine
   SEBULBA, a sportsman of Tatooine
   JABBA OF THE HUTT, a gangster
   FODE AND BEED, commentators
   PODRACERS, SENATORS, PILOTS, GUARDS, THE QUEEN’S
   HANDMAIDENS, GUNGANS, DROIDS, and CREATURES
   PROLOGUE.
   Outer space.
   Enter CHORUS.
   CHORUS
   Alack! What dreadful turmoil hath beset
   The strong Republic and its bonds of peace.
   O’er distant trade routes all do sigh and fret
   As fears of grim taxation do increase.
   The greedy, vile Trade Federation hath
   Created a blockade none may pass through.
   With deadly battleships they block the path
   Unto the little planet call’d Naboo.
   Whilst politicians endlessly debate,
   The Chancellor Supreme plies strategy.
   He sends two Jedi to negotiate—
   They who keep peace within the galaxy.
   In time so long ago begins our play,
   In troubl’d galaxy far, far away.
   [Exit.
   SCENE 1.
   Aboard the Republic cruiser and aboard the Trade Federation battleship.
   Enter RUMOR.
   RUMOR
   Open your hearts; for which of you will stop
   The vent of feeling when loud Rumor speaks?
   Her flaming tongue with poison’d tip shall drop
   Unrest from Tatooine to Naboo’s peaks.
   See how, with mere suggestion of a tax,
   Begin star wars that shall your eyes amaze.
   Enraging th’Federation with false facts
   Good sport did make for Rumor’s cunning ways—
   Inciting the Republic to respond
   Now sets the game afoot on ev’ry side.
   Thus shall I cause new worries to be spawn’d:
   Hint of a dark Force rising I’ll provide,
   E’en till the proud Republic longeth for
   Protection from some unknown, looming threat.
   Replete with fear, each heart shall be full sore
   Ere I have ceas’d the worry I beget.
   Quick now, and let this merry play begin—
   Unveil the Empire’s full prehistory!
   E’en groundlings, waiting weeks to be let in,
   Look forward to the wonders they shall see.
   Starts now what you have long’d for, sans delay:
   Attend—a phantom menace comes anon!
   Ye shall be pull’d into our clever play,
   Ears, hearken to this story that doth dawn.
   [Exit.
   Enter QUI-GON JINN, OBI-WAN KENOBI, PILOT, and CAPTAIN.
   QUI-GON
   I say, good captain.
   CAPTAIN
   —Aye, sir, what’s your will?
   QUI-GON
   Pray, make communication unto this
   Trade Federation battleship, e’en here.
   Tell them that we would board their ship anon.
   [The captain addresses Nute Gunray via comlink.
   CAPTAIN
   With great respect and humble mien, good sir,
   With awe for the Trade Federation’s might,
   The brave ambassadors would swiftly board
   Your ship, with your permission and consent.
   QUI-GON
   [aside:] Methinks this captain’s words are oversweet.
   NUTE
   [through comlink:] Indeed—we nothing herein have to hide,
   And as you know full well, our blockade is
   Within the bounds of the Republic’s law.
   Your kind ambassadors shall be receiv’d
   As we would welcome all Republic guests.
   [Exit Nute Gunray from comlink.
   QUI-GON
   Thus shall we fly unto their battleship
   And land within the core of its vast frame.
   These Federation ships are massive, aye,
   And run to excess for a mere blockade.
   Yet, when taxation is the greater theme,
   The melody oft leans toward life or death.
   It is an ancient song that all know well—
   The notes of levies ring with morbid knoll.
   Indeed, it may most verily be said
   That only death and taxes certain are.
   [The Republic ship lands inside the battleship. Many droids surround the ship.
   Enter DROID TC-14 to speak with QUI-GON JINN and OBI-WAN KENOBI. PILOT and CAPTAIN remain in the Republic ship.
   TC-14
   My name is TC-14, at your aid.
   I prithee, come with me, good gentlemen.
   Your visit doth bring honor unto us,
   Ambassador
s of high and noble blood.
   Be now at ease, and wait upon my lord,
   For he shall hither come to speak with you.
   [Exit TC-14.
   OBI-WAN
   I have a feeling bad about this, Master.
   QUI-GON
   Yet sense I nothing. Wherefore art thou tense?
   OBI-WAN
   ’Tis not about the mission—something else.
   Elusive ’tis, aye, difficult to name.
   QUI-GON
   O, center not on thy anxiety,
   Young Obi-Wan. Thy concentration here
   Maintain—within this very moment now—
   For such is where thy focus doth belong.
   OBI-WAN
   But Master Yoda hath instructed me
   To be e’er mindful of the future, for
   Its advent may have meaning in my life.
   QUI-GON
   ’Tis true, yet future possibility
   Must not be kept within the forefront of
   Thy mind at the expense of what is here:
   The present moment. Be e’er mindful of
   The living Force, my worthy Padawan.
   OBI-WAN
   Aye, Master. Then, unto the present time:
   How do you think the Viceroy shall respond
   Unto the noble Chancellor’s demands?
   QUI-GON
   Methinks there can be little doubt in this:
   These Federation dogs are cowardly
   And shall be quick to heel at our command.
   Negotiation shall be swift, indeed.
   Enter NUTE GUNRAY, DAULTAY DOFINE, and TC-14 above on balcony.
   NUTE
   What didst thou say, thou terror-speaking droid?
   TC-14
   Just what my sockets hath observ’d, my lord:
   These two ambassadors are Jedi Knights.
   DAULTAY
   This I did prophesy in my mind’s eye:
   The two have come to force a settlement.
   NUTE
   Go thou and make some keen distraction there;
   I must make contact with Lord Sidious.
   DAULTAY
   Hast thou lost all thy pow’r of intellect,
   Thou jarring fool-born simple-minded rogue?
   I shall not go where Jedi’s steps do tread.
   Instead, send one insensible to fear:
   This droid shall serve our purpose. [To TC-14:] Go,
   anon!
   [Exit TC-14 from balcony.
   OBI-WAN
   Is it their nature, so to make us wait?
   QUI-GON
   Nay, truly I do sense a fear too grand
   For such a wee affair as trade disputes.
   Enter TC-14, with serving tray.
   TC-14
   [aside:] I serve the drinks these Jedi to appease
   And in so doing serve my masters’ will.
   We droids are here to serve: ’tis protocol,
   Yet here my service lacketh etiquette,
   For it doth serve these Jedi to deceive.
   [TC-14 serves drinks to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
   Enter DARTH SIDIOUS in beam on balcony, speaking with NUTE GUNRAY and DAULTAY DOFINE.
   SIDIOUS
   What is’t?
   DAULTAY
   —The scheme that you have schem’d hath fail’d,
   Lord Sidious. Our ruse—e’en this blockade—
   Is finish’d, for would we dare fight against
   The Jedi? Nay! It would be foolishness.
   SIDIOUS
   [to Nute Gunray:] Hear me now, Viceroy: I’ll not have this filth,
   This stunted slime of rank and worthless nerve,
   This craven, simple-minded lump of flesh
   Within my presence e’er again. Put not
   Such weak examples of resolve and will
   Before a mighty Sith.
   [Exit Daultay Dofine.
   This recent twist
   Of Fate’s blind spinning wheel hath luckless been.
   We must, therefore, accelerate our plans:
   Begin to send the troops unto Naboo.
   NUTE
   My lord, your words astound! For shall the law
   Be with us in this action we shall take?
   SIDIOUS
   I tell thee, I am arbiter and law:
   It shall be legal if I make it so.
   NUTE
   What shall be done with these two Jedi, then?
   SIDIOUS
   ’Twas ill-conceivèd of the chancellor
   To bring the Jedi into this affair.
   Hear my command and follow: kill them both!
   NUTE
   Indeed, my lord: as you wish, it shall be.
   [Exit Darth Sidious from beam.
   Exit Nute Gunray.
   Enter PILOT and CAPTAIN, aside in Republic ship.
   PILOT
   Alas, good captain, look upon the guns—
   They turn in our direction. We are slain!
   CAPTAIN
   Raise shields, my man, to grant us some defense.
   PILOT
   Too late, too late!
   [The Trade Federation guns fire on the Republic ship, killing Pilot and Captain. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan brandish their lightsabers.
   QUI-GON
   —What villainy is this?
   My senses tell of some abrupt attack.
   OBI-WAN
   I sense it, too, my master. I believe
   Our comrades have been kill’d whilst they did wait.
   [Gas begins to seep into the room.
   QUI-GON
   And what is more, now comes a vapor rank!
   Dioxin—poison’d gas. Pray, hold thy breath!
   [The Jedi hold their breath.
   Enter BATTLE DROIDS including OWO-1, standing at attention outside door. Enter NUTE GUNRAY in beam.
   NUTE
   [to battle droids:] For certain they are dead by now—since these
   Two Jedi are not politicians, they
   Are not with hot air fill’d, and thus have not
   The stores of breath essential to survive.
   Still: go, destroy what remnant may remain.
   [Exit Nute Gunray from beam. The door opens.
   TC-14 passes through the doorway and sees the battle droids.
   TC-14
   I beg your pardon, droids of mettle made.
   OWO-1
   Go forth, investigate, good corporal.
   DROID 1
   Forsooth, forsooth!
   [The Jedi come forth suddenly, fighting.
   Enter NUTE GUNRAY, RUNE HAAKO, and TEY HOW aside on bridge.
   OWO-1
   —Fight for our masters true!
   NUTE
   What now—the monitors have been destroy’d?
   What circumstance unhappy doth befall?
   TEY
   Transmission hath been wholly lost, my liege!
   RUNE
   [to Nute:] Hast thou e’er had a clash with Jedi Knights?
   NUTE
   Nay, truly not till now. Thy warning doth
   Give me some pause. [To Tey:] Seal off the bridge entire!
   TEY
   Indeed!
   RUNE
   —Dost thou not see? ’Tis not enough.
   NUTE
   And call a host of droidekas anon!
   RUNE
   Yet thou art deaf, and in thy panic shalt
   Not listen to the truth: we’ll not survive.
   [The bridge doors are sealed as the Jedi continue to fight and advance.
   OBI-WAN
   The battle droids are worthless when fac’d by
   The power of the Force. All are o’erthrown!
   QUI-GON
   Indeed, now may my lightsaber be to
   This door the key, that we may entrance make.
   [Qui-Gon uses his lightsaber to bore through the bridge door.
   NUTE
   Behold, they come! Swift, close the blast doors. Aye,
   For certain that shall keep the two at bay
   Unti
l the fearsome droidekas appear.
   QUI-GON
   The lightsaber cuts not as’t did before—
   Belike another door hath seal’d the way.
   Well play’d, shrewd sirs, and yet not well enough:
   Observe the power of a burning sun,
   This mystic beam I wield here in my hand.
   [Qui-Gon pushes his lightsaber directly through the center of the door.
   NUTE
   They still make headway—how is’t possible?
   RUNE
   Where are the droidekas thou summon’d forth?
   Enter DROIDEKAS.
   OBI-WAN
   My master, look—destroyer droids approach!
   [Qui-Gon pulls his lightsaber from the door to face the droidekas, which begin shooting at the Jedi.
   They generate their own strong shields, too. Fie!
   QUI-GON
   We parry ev’ry blast; they’ll not break through.
   But neither are we close enough to strike
   And their strong shields do block what we reflect.
   ’Tis but an errant game that none can win.
   So let us fly and find another way.
   [Exeunt Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
   RUNE
   The droidekas have sent them fleeing, ha!
   TEY
   Sir, I report: the Jedi speedily
   Retreat unto the ventilation shaft.
   [Exeunt Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, and Tey How.
   Enter QUI-GON JINN and OBI-WAN KENOBI to the main hangar above, on balcony.
   QUI-GON
   Do you behold this here, young Obi-Wan?
   ’Tis battle droids—and hundreds, mayhap more.
   OBI-WAN
   Indeed, an army for invasion made.
   QUI-GON
   This is a strategy most strange for the