by Ian Doescher
QUI-GON
Within a rough cantina close nearby,
I gain’d a pod a’playing games of chance.
It is the fastest ever built, they say.
WATTO I hope you kill’d no one I know for it:
Toydarians treat homophones with care.
Yet if you do speak true, you here propose
To offer up the pod and entry fee,
Whilst I supply the boy. If then we win,
You shall have half and I the other, yea?
QUI-GON
If I supply two things and thou but one,
And still we split the winnings by their halves,
I must have some assurance: you, my friend,
Shall first provide the entry fee in cash.
Then if we win, you keep the money but
For those few parts I need. And should we lose,
You keep my ship. In either case, you win.
WATTO
The deal is yours—and may we have success!
[Exit Qui-Gon.
[To Anakin:] Yo bana pee ho-tah, meendee ya, eh?
[Exeunt Watto and Anakin.
Enter QUI-GON JINN speaking into communicator to OBI-WAN KENOBI, who enters above, on balcony.
OBI-WAN
What if this plan doth not succeed aright?
It may be eons till we leave this place.
QUI-GON
To call for help is far too dangerous,
And yet, a ship sans pow’r shall not release
Us from this barren planet, Tatooine.
Moreover, there is something in this boy
I would discover ere we do depart.
[Exit Obi-Wan from balcony.
Enter SHMI SKYWALKER.
SHMI
Good e’en.
QUI-GON
—Good e’en. Thou shouldst be proud of thy
Young son. He gives no thought of a reward.
SHMI
He knows no greed. He hath—how shall I say’t?
QUI-GON
He hath a power most profound, ’tis true?
SHMI
Aye.
QUI-GON
—He doth see things ere they do transpire.
’Tis why the speed of his reflexes seems
So swift—it is a Jedi quality.
SHMI
He doth deserve more than a slaving life.
QUI-GON
Had he been born under Republic skies,
He would have been identified when young
And then become a Jedi. Yea, the Force
Is strong with him indeed, ’tis passing strong.
Who, prithee, was the father to the boy?
SHMI
Alas, I do not know. Mistake me not:
View not this tale of mine with a mistrust
Ere you have heard it all: there was no father.
My boy is mine—I carried him until
Arriv’d the very moment of his birth,
Rais’d I the babe into the lad and yet,
I still cannot explain how he did come.
And now I shall ask you: can you help him?
QUI-GON
I do not know. In troth, I did not come
To Tatooine to liberate its slaves.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, JAR JAR BINKS, R2-D2, C-3PO, KITSTER, SEEK, AMEE, and WALD, working on Anakin’s podracer.
KITSTER
A veritable astro droid! How art
Thou e’er so fortunate, O Anakin?
ANAKIN
There’s better still shall come: the Boonta race
Shall be my playground on the morrow.
KITSTER
—Eh?
With this most scrap-infested heap of bones?
WALD
Na jesko joka, Anakin, ho ho!
AMEE
Thou hast work’d on the podracer for years.
It never shall give thou the speed thou need’st.
SEEK
Come, let’s be gone unto some other sport.
If he keep’st on, he will soon smashèd be.
[Exeunt Wald, Amee, and Seek.
ANAKIN
I bid thee, Jar Jar, keep thy distance from
The binders of vast energy thereon.
Shouldst thou e’en get a finger caught within,
Thou shalt for hours bear with its numbing pain.
JAR JAR
[aside:] The little master doth instruct me right,
Yet so that he shall think me quite unwise
I’ll risk a moment in the binder’s beam.
[Jar Jar bends down, catching his mouth in the energy binders.
[To Anakin:] My tonguee sisso rubba innee.
C-3PO
I find the creature Jar Jar rather odd.
R2-D2
Beep, squeak! [Aside:] Yet who is odder, Threepio?
KITSTER
Hear, Anakin: how canst be sure ’twill run?
ANAKIN
Have faith, good friend: the pod shall serve us well.
QUI-GON
The time hath come to test thy surety.
Behold, a power source that thou mayst use.
ANAKIN
Forsooth, I shall—in every good thing!
PADMÉ
The Gungan now is caught in th’afterburner.
I shall release him now, the silly fool.
[Padmé moves to free Jar Jar as Anakin starts the podracer.
C-3PO
Indeed, the beast is odd beyond degree.
ANAKIN
Now, rise, you swift podracer, rise and fly!
It comes to life beneath its master’s touch—
The fleet machine doth work, it shall succeed,
And with it ev’ry hope that’s in our hearts.
[Exeunt Padmé, Jar Jar, Shmi, R2-D2, and C-3PO in mirth.
QUI-GON
An excellent a’testing of the pod,
Young Anakin. Yet now I see thou hast
Been hurt—a scratch from thy wild metal beast.
I bid thee, sit thou here and I’ll mend it.
ANAKIN
Behold the stars above, so numerous!
So brightly do they shine upon the world
That I can almost see my future by them.
Do all have planetary systems, sir?
QUI-GON
Belike near all the stars have planets, too.
ANAKIN
Has e’er there been a voyager who hath
Made journey unto each and ev’ry one?
QUI-GON
Nay, nay.
ANAKIN
—In that I shall be primary,
Should Fate weave me a way from this bleak place.
[Qui-Gon takes a small sample of Anakin’s blood as he finishes the bandage.
QUI-GON
See? Thou art whole again. Now, off to bed.
ANAKIN
What are your good intentions for my blood?
QUI-GON
Naught but to see thou hast infections none.
And now, I prithee, take thy needed rest:
Tomorrow is a vital day for thee.
[Into communicator:] I bid thee, Obi-Wan, art thou about?
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, on balcony.
OBI-WAN
Aye, Master. How may I fulfill your needs?
QUI-GON
Make thou what keen analysis thou canst
Of this blood sample I send thee e’en now.
OBI-WAN
It shall completed be upon the instant.
QUI-GON
The count of midi-chlorians I need.
OBI-WAN
What strange monstrosity is this I see?
What cunning twist of nature’s pure design?
I ne’er encounter’d such as this before—
A count of midi-chlorians so vast,
Surpassing twenty thousand—O, ’tis dire!
’Tis past all reckoning, past thought or sense,
What creature can i
t be that Fate hath wrought
To be so strong and powerful as this?
Is it the boy? What wonder to bethink—
His count is higher e’en than Yoda’s is.
QUI-GON
No Jedi hath a count so high as that.
OBI-WAN
O, Master, tell me then: what doth it mean?
QUI-GON
I do not know. So many things today
Have been beyond my understanding that
I know not what the sum of them shall be.
[Exeunt Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan from balcony.
Enter DARTH MAUL.
MAUL
Here on the planet Tatooine I’ve come
To seek the Jedi and the errant queen.
The glory of her capture and their deaths
Is expectation sweet unto my soul.
[Darth Maul sends out probes to search for the Jedi.
Go forth, discerning probes, and seek them out—
Of my sure victory I have no doubt.
[Exit.
SCENE 6.
The podracing grounds at Mos Espa on the planet Tatooine.
Enter QUI-GON JINN, JAR JAR BINKS, and WATTO.
WATTO
I would your spaceship see the moment this
Fast race hath been competed. Understand?
QUI-GON
Pray, patience, bluish friend. Thy winnings shall
Be thine before the double sun hath set,
And we shall be far gone from this grim place.
WATTO
Unless your ship doth then belong to me.
I warn you, ply no trickstery on me.
QUI-GON
Thou thinkest Anakin shall not prevail?
WATTO Mistake me not: the boy is talented
And in him I’ve a wealth of conference.
The boy, indeed, is credit to your race.
JAR JAR
[aside:] ’Tis e’er a double-sided compliment.
WATTO And yet, methinks, Sebulba shall be first.
QUI-GON
O wherefore dost thou think it shall be so?
WATTO
’Tis but the odds: Sebulba ever wins.
In expedition of his victory
I’ve wager’d all my riches. He’ll not fail.
QUI-GON
Thy wager shall be mine, if thou dost wish
To wager more with assets than with words.
WATTO
Eh?
QUI-GON
—I shall wager my new racing pod
Against the boy and his kind mother, too.
If thou dost win, thou hast the podracer,
If I do win, their lives are in my hand.
WATTO Ha ha, you jest! No pod hath equal worth
As two hardworking, loyal human slaves.
QUI-GON
Thou hast it right. Thus wager but the boy.
WATTO
We shall let that old weaver, Fate, decide.
A chance cube doth reside within my pouch.
If blue appears, your sky is clear: the boy.
But if red shows, the other goes: his mother.
[Watto throws the chance cube.
Qui-Gon uses the Force to make it land on blue.
You have prevail’d in this, outlander, aye,
But shall not win the race. Thus, little doth
This wager make a whit of diffidence.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, SHMI SKYWALKER, R2-D2, C-3PO, and KITSTER.
O, fie! [To Anakin:] Bonapa keesa pateeso.
Buki chanaga o wanna meetee
Chopodd, eh? Ha ha!
[Exit Watto.
ANAKIN
—“Your friend here should cease
His betting lest anon I own him, too.”
What meaning’s in these enigmatic words?
QUI-GON
I shall tell thee another time. [To Shmi:] Good morn!
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, squeak, beep, whistle, whistle, hoo!
C-3PO
Space travel soundeth perilous, indeed.
R2-D2
Meep, meep, beep, nee, ahh, squeak.
C-3PO
—I tell thee true,
They never shall convince me to embark
Upon a starship, nay! Were droids suppos’d
To fly, the maker surely would have giv’n
Us wings to do so. Nay, no flier I!
KITSTER
O Anakin, ’tis wondrous thou shalt race.
I’ve ev’ry confidence in thy success
And certain am thou shalt do it this time.
PADMÉ
I pray, what feat shall Anakin perform?
KITSTER
To finish th’race.
PADMÉ
[to Anakin:] —Thou ne’er hast won a race?
ANAKIN
’Tis possible I ne’er have done so. Nay.
PADMÉ
Yet finish’d e’en the course?
ANAKIN
—Good Kitster hath
Foreseen aright, my lady: this shall be
The day I see the end of the podrace.
PADMÉ
Aye, so fear I.
QUI-GON
—Thou wilt have swift success.
Now go ye and prepare, the race begins!
[Exeunt Anakin, Padmé, Jar Jar, Shmi, R2-D2, C-3PO, and Kitster.
O Force, in battle steel this soldier’s heart.
Give unto Anakin the strength he doth
Require to make a goodly run today.
Our hopes all rest upon this worthy lad,
Who in a time but short hath made his mark
Upon our story—yea, upon our souls.
Whate’er befalls, our fate is now with his
One and the same, fast tether’d life to life.
Thus rise, O Force, and be his constant stay:
When he doth ride, make his reflexes swift,
When he meets obstacles, guide then his hand,
When he doth need quick thinking, be his mind,
When he is challeng’d, swell his bravery,
And in the end, grant him—and us—success.
If the Republic would have justice done,
This boy shall be the linchpin of that cause:
If he doth win today, we fix the ship,
The ship then being fix’d, we fly from here,
We fly and make our way to Coruscant,
In Coruscant we tell the crimes of trade,
The crimes then told, the Federation falls,
The Federation down, ’tis justice done.
It doth begin today with this contest:
This crucial podrace shall prove bust or best.
[Exit.
SCENE 1.
The podracing track at Mos Espa on the planet Tatooine.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.
ANAKIN
How all occasions do inform toward me
To spur my action here! The Jedi comes—
Of all the junk shops in all towns in all
Of Tatooine, he walketh into mine.
Yea, enters he unto my simple life
Upon the instant my machine’s complete.
My podracer is ready for the nonce
As though ’twere Fortune’s hand that crafted it.
Now lies their fate—and mayhap mine as well—
Upon the skill with which I race today.
Be with me, brave gone souls of slaves who pass’d
Before me, those who work’d and sweated for
Another’s gain. Ancestors mine, be here—
O, make me quick in my maneuvering,
And strong in my resolve and my control,
And brave to face those who would do me wrong.
I ride with what I am and as I may—
I ride, and in the end it must suffice.
Enter SEBULBA and other PODRACERS below, preparing to race and waving to the crowd, with QUI-GON JINN, SHMI SKYWALKER, JAR JAR BINKS, R
2-D2, C-3PO, and KITSTER coming to help ANAKIN. Enter FODE AND BEED, a two-headed creature, commentating aside.
BEED
Toong mee cha kulkah du Boonta magi!
Tah oos azalus ooval podraces!
FODE
Indeed, the sun doth shine and all is calm
For this year’s Boonta Classic. Crowds arrive
From all the far-flung territories of
The Outer Rim. Behold, contestants ’gin
To make their preparation on the grid
Where our great race commenceth. See them now,
Familiar in our mouths as household words—
Ben Quadinaros, podracer of Tund,
Gasgano, he who hath from Troiken come,
The two-time champion, e’en he: Boles Roor,
The reigning winner, swift Sebulba of
The city Pixelito, and the one
Consider’d favorite to win today.
Shall favor smile upon the favorite?
Next, in the front, by pole position near,
It is Mawhonic, he of third-eye sight.
And greetings, too, to Clegg Holdfast and his
Sharp Voltec KT9 Wasp podracer.
Returning to th’arena is Dud Bolt,
With the Vulptereen three-two-seven, it
Of marvelous construction and design.
Behold one who hath fervent hopes today:
Ody Mandrell, with droid pit team that hath
Establish’d standards new for skill and speed.
And last, one lately come into the fray,
Young Anakin Skywalker, local lad.
The standards in procession are display’d
As all anticipate the starting sign.
[A procession is held, with C-3PO carrying a canopy.
SHMI
O, Anakin, I bid thee: be thou safe.