“But…I don’t want you to do that. To kiss me there,” Emily burst out at last. “I don’t.”
He frowned. “Are you worried I might hurt you? Or are you uncertain because you’ve never had your pussy kissed before, my Khalla?”
“It’s not that I’m afraid it might hurt—you seem to know how to touch me even when I can’t touch myself. It’s just…” Emily closed her eyes, unable to look at him. “Well, it’s not the first time someone wanted to…to do that. I had a boyfriend in high school—a guy named Jason. I never really had any sexual feelings for him…”
“Because you had not reached your Tenrah yet,” Tragar rumbled.
“Right, I guess. But he did have sexual feelings for me. I mean, he was a teenaged boy, right? So of course he did. And I wanted to keep him happy so I let him…try a few things.”
Emily shuddered as she remembered the wrongness she’d felt when she allowed Jason to touch her. He’d been such a nice guy—so handsome and sweet, if a little bit clumsy—and she’d wanted so desperately to feel for him what he felt for her. But every time she let him grope her breasts or slip his hand under her skirt, the overwhelming waves of shame and repugnance would wash over her, so strongly sometimes that she could hardly sit still and let it happen. And then, that one night—the night he said he wanted to try something different…
“You let him taste you?” Tragar asked quietly.
Emily nodded. “I did. I didn’t want to but he wanted to try it so much and I was afraid he’d break up with me if I didn’t let him do it at least once.”
“And what happened?” he asked softly. “How did it feel?”
“Awful.” Emily couldn’t hold back the shiver that passed over her entire body. “So…so wrong. I mean, it wasn’t as bad as what Grayson did to me—Jason was never mean, he never held me down or forced me. But I remember just lying there, cringing and feeling so…so…”
“Violated?” he suggested softly.
“Yes. Exactly.” Emily nodded and found she was crying. She dashed the tears from her eyes angrily. “Violated…degraded…all that and worse. I felt like I was performing some sick, twisted act or one was being performed on me. And then I couldn’t stand it anymore and I pushed him away and he…”
She shook her head, not wanting to remember. It wasn’t as painful as her memory of Grayson but it was no picnic either.
“He what?” Tragar’s voice was a low, warning growl.
“He didn’t force me or anything—not like Grayson,” Emily said quickly. “But he said I was frigid—he said he could tell that any time I let him touch me I was just barely enduring it. He asked me what was wrong with me and I…I couldn’t answer him. Because I didn’t know.”
“How could you know?” Tragar asked reasonably. “His touch felt wrong to you because he was not your kind—because he was not Kindred. A Khalla can only bear such an intimate touch from her chosen mate. Your body rejected that other male because he was not right for you.”
“I know that now.” Emily sniffed and blotted her eyes with the hem of the pale green petal shirt “And I know you only want to help me. It’s just…really hard to get over that memory. I think that experience is the reason it took so long for the, uh, the other to start making herself known. I didn’t have any sexual desire at all until I was in college and she started coming out. And of course, you know how that ended.”
“I understand your pain and reluctance.” Tragar stroked a strand of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. “Every male who has ever touched you has taken from you…has hurt you.”
“Every one but you,” Emily whispered, daring to look up into his eyes.
“And I won’t hurt you now.” He held her gaze with his own. “I know you have bad memories associated with this act and I swear I wouldn’t ask it of you if it wasn’t necessary. But Emily, I have to ask you to trust me. Can you do that?”
“I…” She took a deep breath. “I guess I can try.”
“Good. All I ask is that you let me kiss you just once, very gently.” He stroked her cheek, speaking softly and earnestly in that deep, growling voice of his. “Just once and if it feels wrong and bad in any way you can tell me to stop and I will.”
Emily bit her lip, filled with uncertainty. On one hand, she really, really didn’t want him to do this. Her memories of this act were so bad and wrong and painful she could barely stand to acknowledge them, much less repeat the act that had caused them. On the other hand, Tragar had seemed to know, right from the start, what was good and right for her—for her body, anyway. He hadn’t steered her wrong yet and even when he’d gotten angry with her, he had never been rough or cruel. And now he was being so sweet and patient and gentle…maybe…maybe she could risk it.
“Just once?” she asked fearfully. “And if I don’t like it you’ll stop?”
“Just once—I swear it on my honor as a warrior.”
The steady, honest look in his deep gold eyes decided her.
“All right,” she whispered, nodding. “Just once. I’ll let you do it just once if you really think it will help.”
“It’s the only thing that can help, my Khalla.” Tragar stroked her cheek again. “You honor me with your trust and with the gift of your body. I swear I will never treat you with anything but gentleness and respect.”
“Thank you.” Emily was touched by his little speech. It was almost as though he was swearing a vow to her, one he intended to honor no matter what.
“All right.” He rose from the floor and started reaching for some pillows. “Let’s get you more comfortable.”
“What do you mean? What are you doing?” Emily looked at him uncertainly. He had pulled the large, square pillows from the top of the bed and was arranging them under her back and shoulders.
“Getting you into position. I want you to watch as I do this—as I kiss you.” Tragar propped a pillow under her behind too, elevating her so that when she leaned back she would be in a semi-reclining position. “I think it will ease your mind somewhat if you can see what is happening.”
“I…I’m not sure about that.” But she was already in position. And she had to admit it was probably better to see than to lie there in the dark with one arm thrown over her eyes fighting back tears and waiting for the awful sensation to be over. No, don’t think about that, she told herself quickly. Put it out of your mind. Tragar isn’t Jason and this isn’t high school. You’re going to be fine. If it feels bad he’s going to stop—he promised he would.
“Are you comfortable?” Tragar had taken a pillow for himself and put it on the floor in front of the bed. He knelt on it now, looking at her seriously.
“I…I guess so.” Emily still wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Was it going to be as bad as last time? She hoped not but she couldn’t help feeling tense inside—the muscles in her stomach were jumping and her entire body felt clenched tight like a fist.
Please, she thought. Please don’t let it be too bad…
As she watched, Tragar lowered himself to kneel before her. Emily had shut her legs when he got her into position—well, she’d shut them as much as she could bear to, anyway. Her pussy was throbbing by now—swollen with need she didn’t want to acknowledge. But she knew if she didn’t get some relief soon she would be in serious pain. Her body was crying out for something—something only Tragar could give her. If she could bear to let him do what needed to be done.
“Gently, my Khalla,” he murmured, caressing the tops of her thighs with long, slow strokes of his warm hands. “Gently and slowly, I swear it. Please—open for me.”
“All right,” Emily whispered. Slowly she let her thighs drift apart again, exposing her swollen pussy. God, it was so embarrassing how hot and wet she was! Her clit was peaking out of her pink folds as if begging for attention. She wondered if the Healing Kiss the big Kindred was going to give her would really make her feel better? She really hoped so—as long as she could stand it.
“I’m just going to kiss the top of your mound first
.” He stroked the top of her pussy, caressing the small patch of well trimmed blonde curls.
“Okay.” Emily shivered at the gentle touch and felt a tendril of pleasure curl through her. Maybe it would be all right…
He dipped his head and, his eyes never leaving her face, placed a soft kiss on the top of her mound, his lips just brushing the top of her slit. He let the kiss linger for a long moment before pulling back.
“All right?” He raised his eyebrows, clearly wanting to know how she felt.
Emily let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding.
“Yes,” she said tentatively. “All right so far.”
“Good.” Tragar rubbed his cheek against her sensitive inner thigh. “Then I’m going to kiss you a little lower, my Khalla. I’m going to kiss your sweet little pussy, where you need to be kissed.”
“All…all right,” Emily whispered. “And you’ll stop if I say so?”
“I’ll stop if you say so,” he promised gravely. Ducking his head again, he spread her thighs even wider, opening her pussy so that her swollen folds blossomed for him, almost like a flower.
Emily bit her lip, embarrassed at being so open and scared to death at how vulnerable this position made her feel. She wondered what the big Kindred was waiting for—he was just sitting there, his broad shoulders spreading her legs wide and gazing down at her pussy. There was a look almost of reverence on his face as he took her in.
“Beautiful,” she heard him mutter under his breath. “So fucking beautiful…”
She opened her mouth to ask him if he was going to kiss her or not—the suspense was killing her—but just then he ducked his head again. Gently, he pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss to her swollen pussy.
Emily clenched her hands into fists, waiting for the wrong feeling to envelop her, waiting for the guilt and grief and terror to overtake her…but they didn’t come. In fact, she felt nothing but pleasure as his hot mouth pressed to her most sensitive, secret area.
As before, Tragar let the kiss linger. She felt the press of his warm tongue against her swollen clit but he didn’t try to lick or taste her—he just held still, his mouth barely moving, kissing her pussy as tenderly as he had kissed her mouth earlier.
Emily felt some emotion welling up inside her but she didn’t know what it was. Maybe relief? Or maybe something else…the need for more.
“God,” she whispered in a low, shaky voice. “That feels…”
Tragar pulled reluctantly away, licking his lips. “How does it feel my Khalla?” he growled softly. “Gods, but your pussy is so sweet and ripe.”
“It feels good,” Emily said slowly. “It feels…right.”
“Because I am giving you what your body needs.” He rubbed her inner thigh again with his scratchy cheek, making her shiver. “But you need even more, my Khalla. You need to let me spread you completely open and taste and lick your pussy. You need to come on my tongue in order to give up your honey.”
Emily felt a rush of desire burn through her at his hot words. The big Kindred’s golden eyes were half-lidded with lust and she knew he wasn’t just giving her what she needed. He really did like her taste—he wanted more too.
“Then…” She cleared her throat a little self consciously. “Then you can…can kiss me again, I guess.”
He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Deeper this time?”
“Yes, if…if you want.”
“I want to press my tongue inside your pussy and give you the Deep Healing Kiss,” he growled softly. “But not until I bathe your sweet little clit and make you come.”
“You…you do?” Emily couldn’t help how breathless her voice sounded. She was getting warm now—getting hot. Now that she knew she wasn’t going to be swamped by a rush of negative emotions she wanted to feel his mouth on her again.
Tragar nodded. “Gods, yes. If I can help you come, it should make your honey start to flow.” His voice dropped to a low growl. “And I want so badly to taste your honey, my Khalla. To taste it right from the source and feel it flow over my tongue as your inner walls clench around me.”
“Then do it,” Emily whispered. “Kiss me.”
“With pleasure.” He lowered his mouth to her pussy and started kissing her again—only this time it was more like licking and tasting.
Emily moaned breathlessly as he ran his tongue from the bottom of her slit to the top, stopping along the way to circle the aching button of her clit, bathing it with the tip of his tongue just as he had promised he would. Her fears had completely melted away by now, replaced by pleasure. Oh God, the feeling of his intimate kisses on her secret flesh was just what she needed. She could feel her body opening for him, her pussy blossoming as she pressed eagerly against his mouth, searching for more of what only he could give her.
Tragar licked and kissed her deeper, tracing her swollen folds with his tongue, flicking her aching clit mercilessly until she threw back her head and moaned. Somehow her fingers found their way into his long, black hair and Emily found she was pulling him forward as she pressed her hips up to meet his mouth, rubbing shamelessly against his invading tongue.
Tragar took her invitation eagerly. Sliding his big hands under her ass, he pulled her closer, lapping her open folds and sucking her swollen clit into his mouth while Emily moaned and pulled his hair.
“Tragar,” she heard herself begging, completely unable to stop herself. “Oh God, please…I’m so close…please!”
He looked up for a moment, his golden eyes burning with lust.
“Gods, Emily, that’s right,” he growled hoarsely. “Ride my tongue—rub your pussy hard against my face. Pull my hair and come for me…come until you give up all your sweet honey.”
Then he ducked his head and redoubled his efforts, licking her swollen folds until she cried out and bucked up to meet his mouth, her thighs clenching around the side of his face as her hands fisted in his long, black hair.
Emily could scarcely believe what she was doing. Could this be timid little kindergarten teacher Emily who never wanted to get within fifty feet of a man, lying here on the edge of the bed with her thighs spread wide by the big Kindred’s broad shoulders? Was she really allowing him to open her pussy with his tongue and lick and suck and kiss her until she moaned and cried and begged for more? It seemed impossible and yet it was happening—she was losing control, giving it up completely for the man between her legs and she never wanted it to end.
The pleasure kept building and building as he bathed her clit with his hot tongue until suddenly all the tension she’d felt seemed to burst inside her. It was as though she’d had a spring somewhere deep in her midsection and his relentless attention had finally caused it to snap.
“Tragar…oh! OH!” Emily had never felt so out of control. Crying and gasping she pressed herself up to meet him as the orgasm overtook her. It was deeper than the ones she’d had when he pinched and sucked her nipples—deeper and more complex in a way that made her feel like she was melting from the waist downward. She was bucking so wildly that the big Kindred had to brace both hands on her abdomen and lace his fingers together to hold her in place but through it all, he never stopped licking. He guided her through her orgasm, lapping and sucking and circling her clit until finally Emily felt something else happen.
For a moment she didn’t know what it was. It felt, in a way, as though someone had opened a gate inside her—a gate that had always been shut and locked for as long as she could remember. Her pussy began to feel full and warm and then hot, almost as though she had a fever between her legs. What was happening? Gasping and panting, she propped herself up on her elbows and spread her thighs, which had been clenched tight against the sides of Tragar’s head, to see.
“What…how…?” She couldn’t finish the question. She looked between her legs and her eyes widened. Something warm and wet was coming from between her thighs—an amber liquid that looked much like the nectar Tragar had pulled from her breasts only thicker and shinier. It really
did have the consistency of honey but it felt hot.
“Oh my God…” Emily stared at herself uncertainly. “What is that?”
“Your honey, my Khalla.” Tragar was staring at her hungrily. “Your honey is finally beginning to flow. Gods, how I want to taste it!”
Lowering his head again, he pressed his tongue to the entrance of her pussy eagerly. Emily threw back her head and moaned as she felt him slip his tongue inside her, pressing deeper and deeper to taste her and the honey he had finally helped to flow.
At the same time she felt the tension in her breasts easing as well. Looking down, she saw that the sticky, clear amber nectar was leaking from her nipples, flowing down her breasts in two steady streams. God, she was like some kind of fertility goddess, overflowing all over the place! She was going to make a mess on the bed…all over her clothes…
But she couldn’t worry about it for long. The feeling of the big Kindred thrusting his tongue deep in her pussy caused another, even deeper orgasm to overwhelm her. Emily wailed as intense sensations rushed over her like a tidal wave threatening to drag her out to sea and drown her with pleasure. Tragar’s hands came up and he cupped her breasts, squeezing gently to help her nectar flow above as her honey flowed below.
Her back arched as she gave herself up to it completely—gave in to the pleasure the big Kindred was giving her and the feeling of his hands and mouth on her body. Between her legs she felt him lapping, tasting her eagerly, taking all she had to give and it made her come even harder—so harder she actually saw flashes of light behind her eyes.
Fireworks, she thought deliriously. Oh my God, I’m coming so hard I’m seeing fireworks—I always thought that was just a stupid saying! But there was no denying what she was seeing—or what she was feeling. Tragar was giving her exactly what she needed and her body was responding to him in a way she had never responded to anyone else. In a way she had never expected to be able to respond.
At last the flow from her breasts became a trickle and the hot, full feeling in her pussy subsided. The pleasure slipped away too, sliding away silently to leave her breathless and panting and completely and utterly exhausted.
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