by Krishna Rose
“Here the soul is able to finally view its true situation with clarity. Sins are burned easily from them, for no malice drove them in life. However, there is one sin for which none are forgiven—and that is the transgression of insults, blasphemy, slander and vicious gossip. Wandering from their moral center, people do the most unthinkable things to get what they want, Marjan. The more material fastenings increase, the more spiritual attachment diminishes. Just as when spiritual attachment increases, materialism wanes.
“Do not think for a moment, that spiritual reunion is given only upon subduing and unfastening oneself from the itching palm of desire. For the flesh cannot artificially be renounced. The rust of all vice disappears only once the living spark of devotion, by way of prayer, comes to be the compass by which we seek the harbor of salvation.
“Devotion unto the Lord is like a boat having oars. Casting the mind unto the shores of eternal respite, we are overpowered by a current of love,” Jesu echoed, still draped in mystery. “But understand this—evil seeks by every means any opportunity to turn us from prayer. Like a traitor, it comes to dissuade and divert our ship with artful agreeableness, for sin understands well how to apprehend and seduce the careless and unguarded.
“Therefore, boldly declare unto the people ‘Do not let the gardens of the heart be parched. Apply yourself to daily prayer, so that the blooms of faith might flourish within—filling you with a happiness such as cannot be contained.’”
“But why does the Lord consider offenses to be greater than sin?” I asked, as lightning forked across the sky.
“Because slander causes distress and harm unto those who are hated, Marjan! All such wrongs are eye-for-an-eye repaid, and all who pass through the flames of ransom are never given more or less than is equal in measure to their own offence. Teach the people to rise constantly, without losing hope, for the path is laid out before them. Tell them, ‘If you wish to find God and His Kingdom, do not lose the perfume of sacred piety. Know what your inner motivations are and be vigilant. Beg forgiveness from those you have trespassed against and make prayer your intimate lover.’”
I vowed to begin anew, with relentless self-awareness, committing myself never again to speak of any person impetuously. Jesu bowed to me in a gentlemanly manner, as if he were to take my leave. “You are now an instrument of the Lord’s mercy, Marjan, for you radiate love without condition, which pours forth from your essence. And as a messenger of light, you must know that there is no negotiation in surrender. Each soul must come to learn of their own misgivings and perversions, which otherwise, left untamed, feed the darkest of shadows.
“Therefore go forth and deliver the people, that they might find salvation in the sacred strength of goodness. The time has now come for you to return,” he said, kissing my hand like a valiant hero. And before I had a chance to thank him, he was gone.
I was alone again, filled with the spirit of faithful persuasion. I withdrew from the burning embers which had unburdened me, walked past the patch of green grass where I had faced death, and followed along the path which returned me to the Door in the East.
‘Gaining insight into oneself can be painful. But it has to be done,’ I thought.
Unclouded, I felt a renewed sense of hope.
As I re-entered the Hall of Judgement, I glanced at the remaining two doors out of the corner of my eye, but felt no hurry to explore them.
Peter and Paul had been preaching in Rome. The agenda had changed. The Mary alerted me to their goings-on within a letter, fearful that the untruths these two enigmatic apostles were spinning would lay ruin to Jesu’s hope—for which he had sacrificed so much.
A small group of us travelled to Rome, that we might discover the source of the conflicts. I was hopeful, by the Lord’s grace, that I might affect a change of heart and bring the two men to heel.
Many of the people Peter and Paul preached to were not born Jewish. Therefore, there were some distinct cultural and religious differences that needed addressing. Firstly, there was the issue of their not being born Jewish. This should not in truth have been a problem, but the Jewish leaders complained, for many did not accept Jesu as their Messiah, nor did they receive favorably any person not born of a Jewish mother. Thus, this was a complex situation needing resolution.
Secondly, there was controversy surrounding whether or not to circumcise. Third, was the belief in one God over all others. Fourth, the absence of idol worship, which people were deeply and utterly emotionally attached to. Lastly, were the laws of the Torah and Talmud—which were vast.
Such matters were the topic of much discussion, so much so, that the back-and-forth arguments on these, and other points of spiritual law, were fast becoming a religion in and of itself. It was just as we had seen in Jerusalem. This was exactly what Jesu had wanted to avoid. Any outward show of faith was but another diversion more often than not leading to demonstrative acts of judgement, criticism, and war.
The religious were understandably hesitant to give up devotion to their gods who had been worshipped for thousands of years by their ancestors. Believing it would bring about certain ruin—like ending a relationship with a family member, only worse—people were fearful. The confusion lay in the belief that conversion was an essential part of spiritual transcendence. Jesu never bade any to convert, nor give up their faith. This was a foreign concept to one who was above designated institutionalized doctrine.
Though we were born Jews, we held firm in a belief that all things of the eternal were not of any nominal, banal stereotypes. What we offered, was more of a grassroots way of life, than a new religion. We taught followers to live cleanly, eat cleanly, to be merciful, and to make devotion the epicenter of life, over selfishness and materialism.
But Peter and Paul had plans. They both had designs to create a new well-organized religious system—with themselves at its helm. They wished to sweep the world clean of all things polluted—women included. And so, the two of them, had one-pointedly set about making changes in the political and religious structure of the world, by whatever means. Their seeming intention was out of love for Jesu, yet it was mixed with disdain and priggish self-importance.
The Romans, Greeks, and Egyptians were especially used to living a high life. Aroused by the thorny path of fleeting pleasures, they strove to gratify the senses on all accounts, in the form of wine, sex, and excesses of the flesh in every way. To preach to these new flock members Paul gave many concessions owing to the fact that they weren’t Jewish by birth. Belief in Isis and her immaculate god-child Horus was seen by him in particular, as a stumbling point.
Truthfully, it had become a real problem for both preachers, especially since their plan was to convert people to the contemporary religion they were creating. However, this way of thinking deviated from Jesu’s belief entirely—so I had been sent in, to put out their false fires. Paul especially seemed to be deliberately establishing Jesu as a god, and The Mary as his divine mother—feeding into the growing speculations on the street. In this way, conversion of worship to Isis and Horus, to that of Jesu and The Mary, would no longer block their greater vision. In effect, it would be the cause of their success.
Horus was said to have been an immaculately conceived child, known as the anointed one, the lamb of God, and even Messiah. He too had been killed and raised on the third day—fulfilling prophecy. Therefore, if he were to succeed in converting the masses, Paul knew that Jesu could not be seen as human. While The Mary could not be seen as a mortal woman—certainly not if he was to overthrow an entire global system of belief.
Paul even went so far as to have The Mary professionally painted seated upon a golden throne with a crown of stars upon her head. In her lap, the boy-child Jeshua was seated. The painting was a mirror image of Isis and her son Horus.
According to the na
rration of Horus’s life, he was born in a stable, announced by an angel, heralded by a strange star, and attended by shepherds from the East. Horus was famed for performing miracles, exorcizing demons, walking on water, and raising the dead. He had twelve disciples, and Horus, along with Mithras, and Dionysus, were celebrated with great pomp on December 25th of each year, in hope that the sun god would return—bringing light to the world after an interminable winter of darkness.
Paul saw opportunities everywhere by which to attach these stories to Jesu. Thus, the people began to wonder if the gods had returned, placing Jesu in their good company.
Mithras too was born of a virgin Queen and resurrected after three days. He was said to have had twelve apostles, and was known as “the truth, the light and the way.” Paul’s decisive plan to overthrow Horus and Mithras from within the hearts of the people, became his one-pointed obsession. By his claiming these doctrines for Jesu, just as the Horus story had claimed them from Mithras many years before, the wheels were set in motion for a power overhaul—greater than the riches of King Solomon.
Any child of the Jewish faith, born in the month of December, would have been notoriously known as illegitimate, and worse—illegal. In fact, a child born during unlawful times of the year, could be stoned to death along with its mother. Indeed, there were rumors that The Mary had been raped by a Roman soldier, hence her need for a sudden marriage to Yosef. While others said Jesu was a bastard, conceived before legal marriage. Either way, The Mary was said to have brought shame on Yosef’s family and village, according to the gossip vines—of which there were many.
Therefore, Paul had set about quelling the fires of doubt, with fiery sermons and fables surrounding Jesu’s miracle birth, ensuring all such rumors were crushed. Of course the truth was so much more enthralling!
These allegations, like all controversy—made Jesu’s story one that was up for grabs. He was very much on the tip of many people’s tongues. Nevertheless, his teachings offered a life of harmony and inwardly focused devotion, with the promise of eternity in the hereafter. We were simple people. These over-exaggerated stories, though they would later become written in history books as real, were far from the truth of our lives.
I had come to Rome to meet with our brethren to discuss these delicate issues which had sprung up from the meddling of these two larger-than-life pioneers. These problems had all too quickly grown up like weeds which needed uprooting. If such gardens were not tended, our ways and beliefs stood to be forever changed, and that was not something I was willing to risk.
Holy wells and shrines throughout the land, were fast being converted into chapels dedicated to The Mary. And, gradually beaten down by time, Isis and Horus were guilefully removed from public worship, and worse—framed as heretical outdated folklore. Jesu and his mother were accepted in their place, even being given the slogan “the truth, the light, and the way.” Death would even one day come to any who taught or believed differently.
Peter and Paul came to meet with me. Immediately my body tensed in their presence. Peter seemed genuinely encouraged to see me after so long a time. And though I had forgiven him his trespasses against me, I had not forgotten the things which had passed between us. I was not easily fooled by his confident sense of ease in my company. We exchanged niceties while he cooed over Josephes, who was now a chubby youth with thick curls upon his head. Every inch of him said—cherub.
“I have nothing to lose, so we will speak straight that we might understand one another,” I said looking both men straight in the eye. I had learned a thing or two from watching the Roman men when they wanted to get their point across.
Grimacing at the fluttering in my stomach and tightening of my chest, I reminded myself that no man on earth had power to overturn me, besides Jesu. There was nothing more that could be taken from me. I had experienced it all, and Peter, sensing my newfound inner strength, tensed and flashed a cold smile in my direction.
“Mariam, I have not come here to fight you. I came, so that a great wrong might be righted,” he said, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs.
“How so, Peter?” I asked.
“We must not lay blame on one another for the things which have ensued. It is as the Lord willed it,” Peter said cleverly.
“I am not laying blame on you Peter. However, I have heard that our lives have been falsified. And to further what cause, exactly? Our family cannot help but feel betrayed and denied. These lies must be uprooted,” I said, gesturing in Paul’s direction.
“I am in agreement with you Mariam. Paul is at times a loose cannon,” Peter said, adopting a languid pose, obviously relieved that the blame would fall on Paul.
“I am a Mary now Peter, therefore please address me as such,” I said, watching carefully as his face crumbled.
“We are about the same business Paul,” I said, turning to face the man who not long ago had set out to kill us. “But we should try to be of one purpose—one mind. The lies you spin, are not the solid foundation upon which to found a church. We must therefore break free from the bondage of all such untruths said in my husband’s name—even if they were spoken for the purpose of successful preaching.
“I wish to advise you to teach the people to follow Shabbat, for it is our way of protecting the people against material slavery. It was given to us as holy, and the Lord commands that we follow. At least one day each week, strivings should be set aside, to come together and celebrate in remembrance of the Lord. This is not a practice meant only for Jews. Nothing should disturb such respite, as all souls need an island to rest their head.”
“Okay,” Paul said, surprisingly without an argument. “But we have more serious issues at hand. There is a plan for the Roman leaders to kill us and our followers. Even so, despite the danger, people flock to listen to me narrate stories of how Jeshua fulfilled the prophecies,” he said, closing his eyes as he spoke, as if moved by the Holy Spirit within.
“In fact, people sacrifice their own safety to accept him as their Lord and Master—through me,” he said yawning loudly between coughs and self-imposed watery eyes. “In fact, people say that they see the spirit of the Master speaking through me,” he said with a nervous laugh.
Peter and I looked up at one another. Words were not needed, for we both wondered at the way Paul was behaving. Peter addressed him. “Very well, Paul. However, so too do devils believe in the Lord and tremble before Him! You are a vain man, that you see fit to stand here before us rejoicing in your boastings of how the spirit of our Master moves through you. Honestly, all your rejoicing is unfounded and pretentious, for you know him not!”
Peter had surprised me. Obviously there was bad blood between them which I had not known of—I had thought them to be of one mind.
Peter told him, “Be sober in your habits and pray. Be charitable to others, for I have seen that you are double-minded. You say you are one thing, yet you are in truth another. You show one face to the world and wear another in private. Therefore you are a deceiver.”
Paul stood up and shouted, waving his fists in the air. “I thank God that I baptized none of you, for you are as thorns in the Master’s flesh! You are nothing but messengers of Satan! Am I not an apostle? Am I not free? Who are you to examine me like this? Certainly I have power to lead the apostles, as well as you, or Mary here,” he said, pointing at me disrespectfully.
“Or do you claim to be the only ones with the power to preach and convert?” he argued with a look of repugnance on his face, posturing himself like a Roman man, suddenly spreading his legs wide, cracking his knuckles. Peter and I chuckled.
I listened silently, as the two men spoke like lightning hidden in the clouds—ready to strike. This man, Paul, was burning in the fire of his own anger and he wanted to see us burn. When he finally fell silent after a good
long rant, I responded.
“Paul, do you want me to speak the truth? We know you are a good and sincere man bound to the truth. Right, Paul? Therefore, I must speak without restraint,” I said, hopeful of appealing to his better nature.
“We are not any designation of the body. We are all here present, servants of the servants of the Lord. Thus, I shall try to explain this to you from a neutral standpoint, for I am not a woman, just as you are not a man,” I said with a hint of humor in my voice. Paul coughed nervously, shifting his feet on the floor.
“I pray that the Lord guide you, and beseech you to try and understand what I say, so that you might be benefited. I see in earnest that you are consumed by your own self-importance and have fallen into a blind well. What hope is there of fathoming the imports of true faith, while you yourself are still yet drowning?” I said boldly.
Paul stood up, screaming aggressively. “Why do you insult me? You know me not!” he shouted.
“Please sit,” I told him wishing to be cautious, as I did not wish to offend. “It is not my wish to criticize you. I have not come here for that. But to teach a man who thinks himself faultless, is difficult for me. Therefore please listen to this short story,” I said, motioning for him to sit.
“Once, two students came before their teacher. One told the teacher, ‘I have been studying this subject already for five years and I know everything, so what more can you teach me?’
‘Because you know so much, it will cost you heavily,’ the teacher replied.
“Then the other student introduced himself, saying, ‘I don’t know anything. Please teach me.’
“The teacher said, ‘Yes. It will cost you nothing.’
“The first student then shouted, ‘But that’s unfair! He’s a fool and I already know so much, so how can you charge me so much more?’