by E. J. Mara
My heart pounding, I look around at the rustling stalks. “Our cue to get out of here.”
As soon as I say this, footsteps sound, splashing in the cornfield’s mud as they run towards us from just ahead.
I wasn’t seeing things, there’s something in this field and now it’s chasing us.
“We should go!” I urge, my stomach turning somersaults.
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Karen says, backing up.
She doesn’t need to say it twice. Without a second thought, I pull her towards me and take off in the direction of her house. “Julia’s dad has a hunting rifle,” I shout. “When we get inside, we should call him.”
I run as fast as I can, not caring about the mud that’s splashing onto my pants or about the cornfield leaves that are whipping scratches onto my face. I just need to get us back to the house before that thing catches up to us.
I can see the lights of the Lyles’ back porch. Just a few more steps and we’ll be out of this godforsaken field.
“Karen!” A familiar voice bellows from behind us.
Karen jerks her hand out of mine and turns around. “Dad?!”
My dad is breathing even harder than I am and his too-small jacket and vest have been ditched. His dress shirt is half-untucked as he stands before me, pale, sweaty, and fear in his eyes.
“What are you doing?” We both say at the same time. Nathaniel moves to stand beside me, his eyes raking my father from head to toe. I turn to Dad, unsure of what to say and, quite frankly, embarrassed. I mean …really? Does Nathaniel really have to be here to see this too? It’s like life has given the one guy I like a front row seat to the ways in which my family has gone mad.
Earlier, Nathaniel sat through Dad rambling about how Mom’s death wasn’t a suicide, after that he was a part of the crowd that saw Dad running from car to car in the rain, shouting yelling the F-word. Hours later, my little sister tried to force Nathaniel to marry her and now Nathaniel’s a witness to my dad, unkempt and looking guilty for no apparent reason, emerging from our neighbor’s cornfield in the dead of night.
Nice. Thank you, Life.
“What were you doing out here?” I ask, my voice sounding small.
“I saw a coyote.” Dad glances over his shoulder. “I chased it. It’s gone now.”
“You chased a coyote.” I slowly repeat.
“Yes, Karen! I chased a coyote!” Dad shouts, startling me as he points to our house. “Now go inside, before it comes back.”
My cheeks are flaming and I can feel Nathaniel looking at me. “Dad, why are you yelling at me?” I ask between gritted teeth. But I’m speaking too quietly and he doesn’t hear me. He adjusts his glasses and glances down at himself. Realizing that he looks like he’s been attacked by a tornado, he dusts off his shirt and tucks it into his pants.
He catches me looking at him and points to the house, his eyes widening. “Go! Now!”
I shake my head in annoyance. There are no words for this. Literally, no words.
“Um, yes, sir.” Nathaniel nudges me with his elbow. “We’re going.”
The three of us make our way back to the porch in silence, fireflies dancing around us like they’re having a party. And at the moment, their happy little jigs are just irritating.
My upper arm hurts where Nathaniel grabbed me and I glance at it.
It’s as bruised as the current state of my ego. I guess it’s easy to forget how strong Nathaniel is. You’d think that when someone looks the way he does, you wouldn’t forget. But he’s so gentle with everyone that you do forget, until those moments when you flippantly challenge him to an arm wrestle and then feel really stupid …or like tonight, when he gets scared and reacts without thinking.
I steal a peek at him and he’s frowning, his gaze on my father.
“Dr. Lyles,” he suddenly says, “how big was that coyote?”
Without looking at Nathaniel, Dad mumbles that he doesn’t know. With that, he hurries ahead of us, nearly jogging up the three stairs that lead to our back porch before flat-out running into the house.
“Please Dad, act weirder in front of my friends,” I say, my stomach blazing with that all-too familiar burning.
“It’s fine, Karen.” Nathaniel’s frown dissolves as he offers me a sympathetic smile. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. At least now we know we don’t have monsters from “The X-Files” in our backyard, just overgrown coyotes. So, there’s that.” I try to return his grin, but it doesn’t feel quite right. “You okay?”
Nathaniel’s face falls, and completely distracted, his eyes narrow as he takes a shaky step back.
“Hey?” I wave one of my hands in front of him. “Are you there?” I stare at him while his mouth falls open. He looks like he’s just realized something. “Nathaniel?”
He takes a deep breath. “Karen, what if it …um, I think, I think…”
“You think what?” I ask.
He meets my eyes, his eyes searching mine as he says not a word. The scrutiny makes me self-conscious and I run a hand through my hair, which sends three small green leaves from my hair to land at our feet.
I bet I know exactly what Nathaniel’s thinking and doesn’t have the guts to say.
“You think my family’s a mess?” I say as a zing of pain travels across my stomach. “If that’s what you were going to say, agreed.”
“No.” Nathaniel’s eyes soften and lifting a hand, he ever so gently brushes my bangs from my face. “I was going to say, I think … I think that even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, everything’s going to be okay.”
I don’t know if it’s the comforting way he’s touching me or if it’s the pressure of this massively horrible day, but my eyes fill and my nose starts to run.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. Stooping, he grabs a napkin from his abandoned plate of food and hands it to me. I wipe my nose as he says, “I didn’t mean to make you feel worse.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t.”
With that, I lower the tissue and take a good look at Nathaniel Colbert. Every time I look at this boy, a trillion emotions erupt and collide inside of me. Usually, I try and pretend like these internal car crashes aren’t happening. I tell myself that behind Nathaniel’s charm and looks, there’s something broken about him. It’s so broken that it makes him scared of things and even kind of makes him a Momma’s Boy.
But that thought process never works because there’s no denying that I like everything about Nathaniel, even the way he’s so protective of his mom. He’s patient, kind, and he gives everyone a chance …even me. How could I not feel something for the one person who accepts me exactly the way I am?
I plant my right palm on Nathaniel’s chest and lean towards him.
Surprise registers in his face, but he’s quick to slip a hand around my waist. So, I wrap my free arm around him and ease into the security of his arms.
As he holds me tight, I close my eyes and confess, “You make everything better.”
“I thought she was going to kiss me,” I say, grabbing the can of Ginger Ale I’ve promised Karen.
Brad, my best friend since I don’t even know when, stands over the Lyles’ wooden table that’s filled with various almost-eaten dishes and sticks his fork into what’s left of the pecan pie. Brad and I are practically brothers. Our moms went to college together, worked at Peake General together until Brad’s mom quit, and then they decided to send us both to Matthew’s Gymnastics Center when we were six.
We’re the same height at six feet exactly, but Brad’s bigger. He’s built kind of like a bear and sometimes he acts like a bear, what with all of the scratching in public and hibernating during class. He’s sort of a goof-off, but I wouldn’t trust anyone except him with what just happened between Karen and me.
Brad laughs. “You got burned, man.”
“No, not exactly.” I pause, my thoughts returning to the way Karen looked at me, her eyes clouded in emotion as she bit down on her bottom lip and decided
that she needed to hug me.
As cheesy as I feel thinking this, it was a beautiful moment, to see her decide that she needed me. For a minute there, I even forget what I’d just figured out about her dad.
“Well, you know who would’ve kissed you?” Brad asks with his mouth full, several crumbs falling from his lips to his chest.
“If you say you …”
“Nah man.” He laughs and brushes the crumbs off. “Julia. She’s here, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sigh at the mention of my ex. “We just stay out of each other’s way. She’s cool with that.”
Brad’s blonde eyebrows, so light they’re nearly translucent, shoot up as he snorts. “No she’s not. Yesterday she spent fifth hour crying, the whole freaking hour, man, just crying.”
I shift on my feet, guilt spiking in my gut. “You serious?”
Brad burps and then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Yeah, it was pretty sad, actually. It’s not my business, but she seems really, like, hurt.”
I glance at the Lyles’ wooden floors, my heart sinking.
Break-ups suck, and breaking up with Julia was especially sucky. I wasn’t in love, but she was.
“You’re not going to cry, are you? Do you want a hug? Because Karen will give you a hug. She won’t kiss you or show affection in general, but she might hug you. If you catch her on a good day.”
“Her mom just died,” I say, annoyance coursing through me. “Give her a break.”
“Yeah, I know.” Brad gives me a funny look. “Sorry.”
“I’d better get this to her. I’ll catch you later.” I slip out of the kitchen and head back to the porch, Karen’s drink in hand.
Right now, I have two wishes. First of all, I wish people were more tolerant with Karen and that Karen were more tolerant with people. She’s always complaining about my other friends …Brad, Esther, and basically everyone at school. Sure, the Peake High crowd is on the uppity side, but they’re not that bad. Karen’s just …kind of mean, and it makes people avoid her. But I’d never tell her that.
My second wish is that I could tell Karen what I just figured out about her dad. But I can’t do that to her. Not today. It would be too much.
I open the screen door that leads to the porch and step outside. In the few minutes that I’ve been gone, the temperature’s dropped and my breath sends puffs of white into the night air as I realize that it isn’t Karen I’ve found.
Tessa now occupies the edge of the porch where Karen and I had been sitting. The raggedy brown diary that she carries everywhere is in her lap and her narrowed eyes are glued to the book as she scribbles in its pages. At moments like this, it’s startling how much she looks like Karen. The resemblance is in their mannerisms, the way Tessa sticks her chin out when she’s deeply invested in whatever it is she’s doing. Karen does the same thing when she’s poised to begin a tumbling pass.
To Tessa’s left, she and Karen’s dad paces the edge of the porch. His back is to me and he’s got a cordless phone to his ear.
“…yes, Claire!” Dr. Lyles shouts into the phone. “In my backyard, in the cornfield! My oldest daughter nearly saw the whole…”
I back out of the doorway and close the door. Now that I know who Karen’s dad really is, I know that I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever he’s got going on.
Unseen’s business is not my business.
A tap on my shoulder sends Karen’s Ginger Ale crashing to the floor.
“Oops, my bad.”
My panic spikes at the sound of my ex’s voice and I turn around. Julia, hand in hand, with her little brother, Seth, faces me.
“Hey, Armpit,” Seth says, his smile revealing two missing teeth.
“Hey, Earwax.” I grin and kneel to pick up the soda can. My gaze goes past Seth’s messy black hair and up to Julia. As usual, she’s picture perfect, not a strand of hair out of place and wearing a tight black dress that shows her every curve. I gulp. “Hey, Jules.”
“Hey, Nate.” She smiles, but something about her grin is sad. “I have a huge favor to ask and if you can’t-”
“Course I can.” I stand and step away from the Lyle’s back door.
“My mom was super tired, so she left.” Julia pauses, fiddling with her right hand. I glance at her hands and the promise ring I gave her last summer gleams back at me.
I wish she’d stop wearing it. Quickly returning my gaze to her eyes, I ask, “You and Seth need a ride home?”
“Only if you can.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
Giving her a ride home is the least I can do after giving her a promise ring and then breaking my promise with no real explanation.
She offers me a hesitant smile, her full lips shimmering with a light pink gloss. I remember it tasting like strawberries…
“Can I drive your Jeep?” Seth asks.
Grateful for the interruption, I tear my eyes away from Julia’s mouth and focus on Seth.
“Sorry, bro, you’re seven. We’ll talk when you’re eight.” I ruffle his messy hair, briefly wondering at how different two siblings can be. Julia’s blonde with silky, straight hair while Seth’s hair is almost as thick and black as mine. It’s funny, the surprisingly normal things you bother thinking about when you’ve just realized that the girl you’re crushing on is the daughter of a superhero.
“I was hoping we could head out now,” Julia says, “it’s past Seth’s bedtime.”
“Sure, let me clean up this drink I spilled, then we can go.” I start for the kitchen.
“Karen can get that.” Julia touches my arm, her trademark smile gleaming back at me. “She likes to clean.”
Something about the way Julia says this rubs me the wrong way and I cover my annoyance with a smile. “Nah, I’ll just clean it-” I shut up as Karen emerges from the hallway to our left. Her dark eyes widen and she looks from me to Julia.
Crap.
“I looked for you on the porch,” I explain, “but you weren’t there.”
“Yeah.” Karen crosses her arms and takes a step back. “There was a problem with Tessa that I had to take care of.”
“She puked all over Ms. Greenich,” Seth interjects with a knowing nod. “I sawed it happen.”
“Oh my God.” Julia laughs. “Poor Ms. Greenich. She goes out of her way to come all the way over here and gets puked on by your little sister. Geez.”
I glance at Julia, briefly wondering at her lack of a brain-to-mouth filter. Yeah, Karen’s neighborhood is on the cheaper side of town, far away from where the rest of us live, but you’re not supposed to just casually bring up things like that. That’s mean.
But Karen doesn’t seem to mind. She nods and says, “I know. And I should’ve been watching Tessa because she always does that when we have company. She gets excited and overeats. But-”
“You changed clothes, didn’t you?” Julia interrupts, grabbing the hem of Karen’s outfit. “Ooh, I like this dress.”
I look at the short brown dress Karen’s wearing and wonder if her other dress got messed up from our incident in the cornfield. It took a while for me to get the mud stains off of my own pants and shoes.
“You should’ve worn this to the funeral, girl,” Julia continues. “It makes your legs look so long and sexy!”
Of course now I can’t help but glance at Karen’s legs. Tanned, smooth, and perfected by well-defined calves, I silently agree with Julia.
“Yeah. Because that’s what I was going for, to look sexy at my mom’s funeral,” Karen dryly replies. “I changed because some of my sister’s puke got on me.”
Julia drops Karen’s hem and huffs, “I was just trying to give you a compliment, Karen. God.”
And, here comes the arguing. I don’t know how these two have managed to stay friends for the past couple of years.
“Hey, why don’t we go?” I clear my throat and turn to Seth. “Ready, Earwax?”
“Yep. Bye, Karen!” Seth waves to Karen, whose face h
as fallen.
When she notices me looking at her, she tries and fails to change her expression to one of indifference. “So, you’re taking them home?”
I start to reply when Julia chimes in, “Yep, Nate came to my rescue, as always.” Julia then links her arm through mine and nods to the spilled Ginger Ale. “And we’re so sorry, but Nate spilled that. We hate to leave you with a mess.”
“Actually.” I unlink my arm from Julia’s. “I’ll clean it up.”
“No, don’t worry about it.” Without looking at me, Karen heads to the kitchen. “I’ll see you all at school tomorrow.”
“Oh my God! You’re going to school tomorrow? You can’t be serious, Karen! Your mom just died!” Julia calls after her.
Karen doesn’t respond as she slips into the kitchen.
I close my eyes, wanting to kick myself.
“…ISN’T THAT THE worst?” Seth asks as I pull into the Scardinas’ driveway and put my Jeep in PARK.
The little kid’s been talking nonstop since we left Karen’s and I’m grateful, because the possibility of a conversation with his sister is freaking me out.
“Yeah, boarding school doesn’t sound easy, buddy,” I agree, glancing at him in my rearview mirror. “But you’re a cool guy, I bet you’ll make plenty of friends there.”
I don’t add that I also feel terrible for him. I spent a couple of months in boarding school when I was about his age. Mom was that desperate to get me away from Dad. But eventually, Dad complained about the cost and pulled me out. Though my home life wasn’t all that great, I preferred it to boarding school.
“Hey, Seth,” Julia says as I turn the headlights off, “say goodnight and go inside. I need to talk to Nate for a minute.”
Dear God, no ...
I robotically wave goodnight to Seth before slowly bringing my hands back to the steering wheel. Clenching it in a death grip, I stare at the Scardinas’ front door long after Seth’s closed it.
Last spring, I would’ve given anything for this kind of time alone with Julia. Sure I had a crush on Karen, but I was more than a little distracted by Julia. I’d known her since forever; a cute and talkative girl who lived a few streets over from me. But when we got to high school, Julia looked different. She wasn’t just cute anymore, it’s like she blossomed. Her Pacific Ocean-colored eyes were suddenly topped by these long dark lashes and her lips, always shimmering with a pinkish-red color, seemed like they were made just for kissing. And most importantly, her body was nothing like it’d been in middle school. All of a sudden, she had the kind of body that inspired non-musical guys to whip out guitars and spout cheesy love songs. I won’t lie, somewhere in my bottom dresser drawer is a handwritten poem called, “Julia, You Blow My Mind”, which I (thank God) chickened out on handing to her.