by Susan Wiggs
She wondered briefly if Nikki had seen through her ploy; if so, the girl chose to overlook it.
“Yeah, sure,” Nikki said.
For just an instant Beth thought she might have seen the girl smile. It astonished her how gratified an almost-smile made her feel. While no longer openly hostile, Nikki wasn’t exactly friendly, either. But thanks to Paul, Beth felt she was making progress, bit by bit, day by day.
As soon as they got down to the dock and met their instructor, Nikki decided—with a little persuasion from Paul—to try kayaking herself. Beth’s reaction to the girl’s change in attitude was a blend of relief and unreserved delight. So what if she couldn’t expect that change to last? Needless to say, Nikki grumbled and complained until she was in the water and paddling on her own. A smile teetered on her lips, then gave way to a full-blown laugh as the three of them practiced maneuvers in the protected waters of the marina.
Concentrating on her own kayak, Beth was shocked at how low she sat in the water. She felt every ripple, every wave. Had they arrived a week or so earlier, she learned, they could have actually gone whale-watching by kayak. Normally, more than eighty whales lived in the Puget Sound area. Beth could only imagine what an experience that would have been.
High on their adventure, they rode home. Naturally Nikki and Paul were well ahead of her, two pairs of legs pedaling to her one. It surprised her that they waited at the top of the hill for her, but again she attributed that to Paul. When they biked into the yard, Beth noticed John’s car parked in the carriage house.
Nikki couldn’t get off the tandem fast enough. “Dad, Dad!” she shouted as she ran toward the house.
John must have been standing at the kitchen window because the next thing Beth knew he was on the back porch.
“I saw an eagle!” Nikki called out to him, breathless with excitement. “I mean, I really saw an eagle.”
“I thought it was going to claw me,” Paul said, and shaped both hands into giant hooks. He dove at Nikki, who ducked and raced to her father’s side.
Laughing, Nikki glanced at Beth. “You should’ve seen Beth. She screamed for us to cover our heads and—”
John frowned. “Perhaps you’d better start from the beginning.”
“We were kayaking…”
“You went kayaking?” John asked, his look incredulous. He glanced to Beth for confirmation.
She nodded, still breathless from the effort of keeping pace with the kids.
“We were about a hundred yards off the island when an eagle started circling overhead.”
“I saw him first,” Paul announced proudly.
“Paul pointed him out,” Nikki added, “and it was as if the bird saw him, because he swooped down to the water with his claws open.”
“That was when my mom started screaming.”
John’s mouth quivered with a smile.
“But he wasn’t after us,” Nikki said. “He dipped his claws in the water and grabbed a fish. Dad, Dad, it was so close I saw the gills of the fish move.”
“He dripped water all over me,” Paul said as though it were a matter of pride.
John’s smile widened. “That must have been an incredible sight.”
“The most awesome experience of my entire life,” Nikki said solemnly, pushing her way into the kitchen. “I need something to drink. Anyone else want lemonade?”
“Me,” Paul called, and hurried in after her.
John remained on the porch with Beth. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, then she glanced away.
Feeling the need to say something, she brushed back her bangs with one hand and said, “We had a great time.”
“So it seems.”
“Here,” Nikki said, shoving open the door from the kitchen. She thrust a tall glass of lemonade into Beth’s hand. “I’m glad I went kayaking,” she whispered.
“I’m glad you did, too.”
“But it doesn’t mean anything,” she said as if warning her not to expect more.
“I wouldn’t think of assuming that it did,” Beth said, not sure whether to laugh at Nikki’s stubbornness or feel discouraged. She supposed she was leaning toward discouraged. Just when she seemed to be making progress with the girl, Nikki went out of her way to prove otherwise.
It really was beautiful here, John had to admit. The water was a deep blue-green. The surrounding fir trees had a delightfully pungent scent. The air, which retained the day’s warmth, was fresh and clean. He sighed with complete satisfaction as he stood on the front porch, hands in his pockets. Beth sat in a wicker chair no more than five feet from him. He’d been wanting to talk to her for some time now, to thank her for the subtle softening he saw in his daughter. But he felt awkward and wasn’t sure how to go about it.
This had been his problem with Lorraine, as well. He could analyze a business’s computer system, see its mistakes and offer suggestions on how to correct them, but he couldn’t seem to apply those same analytical skills to his own life. Somehow words just got in the way.
“It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?” Beth asked.
John nodded, grateful she’d taken the initiative in starting the conversation. “I didn’t expect it to be this beautiful here. I’ve always pictured the Seattle area as having lots of rain, fog, gloom, that sort of thing.”
“Not according to what Paul read,” she said, gazing out over the water. “He checked out a number of library books about the Pacific Northwest and discovered that New York City has a higher annual rainfall than Seattle.”
“You’re kidding!”
“In Seattle there are more days that it rains,” she clarified, “but often it doesn’t amount to much. Apparently the Northwest isn’t nearly as wet as people have been led to believe.”
On days as sunny and gorgeous as this one, it was difficult to believe it ever rained here. This was the kind of weather he expected living in Southern California, but Puget Sound had the advantage of lush greenery in addition to sun and sea. A short ferry ride away was an actual rain forest.
“The weather doesn’t surprise me as much as Nikki and Paul volunteering to put the dishes in the dishwasher,” John said, sitting down in the empty chair beside her.
“That really was very sweet.” She relaxed in the wicker chair and sipped her coffee.
“Well, it was fair exchange after that wonderful dinner.” The halibut had been simply prepared, broiled and served with fluffy rice and crisp green beans. There’d been a salad, too, and a strawberry pie for dessert. One thing about living in Rainshadow Lodge—these were the best meals he and Nikki had eaten in years.
“This compromise of ours is working out rather well,” he said. Better than he’d ever imagined. Like Nikki, his attitude hadn’t been the greatest when he discovered he’d be sharing the house with a school chum of Mary Jane Reynolds. Yet within a week, Beth and Paul had influenced Nikki’s attitude for the better. He felt confident that it wouldn’t be long before Nikki was her old self again, laughing, running, being a kid. She’d been forced to grow up too fast since the divorce, taking on extra responsibilities. She seemed to want to make it up to him for Lorraine’s leaving when he should be the one making it up to her.
“If I haven’t told you before—thank you for letting us stay.” Beth’s voice was low and mellow, as though she was half-asleep. John was sure she had no idea how sensual she sounded.
“This afternoon…” He hesitated, finding it difficult to speak because of the emotion crowding his heart. “I can’t remember Nikki ever being that excited about anything.”
Beth took another sip of her coffee. “Well, you have to admit it was a pretty incredible sight. Oh, John, I wish you’d been there. The entire afternoon was fantastic—the kayaking, biking with the kids, everything. I’m so grateful to be here, to experience this.”
“Even without Mary Jane?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked, possibly because he needed to know she enjoyed his company. Without realizing it, he’d come to look forward to the few
hours they spent together in the evenings. It wasn’t a lot of time, but each instance left him wishing he knew her better.
“I miss Mary Jane,” she admitted. John knew as much, although they spoke by phone nearly every day. “But I’m enjoying my vacation nonetheless—more than I expected.”
“Mom.” Paul burst onto the porch, Nikki at his heels. “Can we have a fire on the beach tonight?”
“Ah…” Beth glanced at John.
“Why not?” John asked lightly. If ever he’d had a reason to celebrate, he did today. His daughter was happy, and just hearing her laugh again was cause enough.
“Come on,” Nikki said to Paul. “Let’s go collect the wood.” She leaped off the top step and raced toward the beach with Paul right behind.
The two of them ran along the shoreline, shouting instructions at each other.
“Such energy,” Beth murmured.
The silence seemed even louder once the children had come and gone. “I haven’t been much of a father,” he confessed.
“Oh, John, that’s what every parent believes.”
“But you…”
“I suffer my own doubts.”
“Paul didn’t dye his hair green.”
“No,” she agreed, “but he sucked his thumb until he was six. I was convinced I hadn’t nursed him long enough, that I’d failed him as a mother. It’s obvious how much you love Nikki, and really, that’s all she needs, all any child needs.”
Hearing her tell him that was just the balm his heart craved. Gratitude filled him, but he could think of no way to tell her how he felt. He stood. “You ready for this fire?” he asked.
She groaned. “If you had any idea how sore I am after today, you’d never have agreed to this.”
He held out his hand to help her up. “Do you want to beg off?”
“And let Paul and Nikki think I’m out of shape?” She groaned again. “No way.” She placed her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.
They stood with only a few inches separating them. In any other circumstances John would have stepped back, but neither of them moved. Their eyes met and he studied her, looking for some indication of what she was thinking, what she was feeling.
He read the question on her face and knew it was a reflection of his own doubts. He hadn’t kissed another woman since Lorraine, hadn’t even been tempted. But he was now. More than he’d dreamed possible. It required every ounce of restraint he possessed not to ease her into his arms and taste her lips. The need pulsed through him.
Something was happening. His heart pounded like a teenager’s, an odd staccato that echoed in his ears.
He cleared his throat. “I guess we’d better see how the kids are doing.”
She nodded and lowered her gaze. “I’ll put my cup in the kitchen and join you in a couple of minutes.”
“Sure,” he said.
As she entered the house, John exhaled a deep breath while he tried to reason out what had just happened.
“Dad,” Nikki shouted, running up from the beach. She stopped short of the house and stared at him.
“What?” he asked, certain that his attraction to Beth showed in his face. Another minute and he would have kissed her, and he strongly suspected she would’ve let him. In another minute…hell, he didn’t know what he would have done. Thank goodness he’d regained his wits when he had, otherwise he might have made a first-class fool of himself.
“Are you all right?” Nikki gave him an odd look.
“Of course I’m all right,” he snapped, and then instantly apologized.
Nikki readily forgave him. “We’re going to need matches,” she said.
“I’ll take care of it,” he told her, but as far as he was concerned he didn’t need anything to light a fire. A lovely widow had already set one under him.
Six
Beth: First you, and now the kids.
Mary Jane: What do you mean?
Beth: They’re plotting to throw John and me together. I’m here to tell you it isn’t going to happen. A relationship is impossible.
Mary Jane: Methinks thou dost protest too much.
Beth: Given the circumstances you would, too. Mary Jane, honestly, would you stop laughing? This is no laughing matter. Mary Jane? Mary Jane?
Troubled, Nikki returned to the beach and sank onto a log.
“What’s wrong?” Paul asked.
“My dad,” she muttered, not sure how she felt just yet. Seeing him like this had come as a shock. “I’m afraid he’s got the hots for your mom.”
“He’s got what?”
“The hots. You should’ve seen him just now. He looked like he was about to throw up and then…he snapped at me.” That was rare enough, but she’d known for a while that something was amiss. Clearly he’d been emotionally shaken, and it didn’t take Nikki long to realize what was wrong, either. She frowned just thinking about her dad and Paul’s mother.
“What’s wrong with him liking my mom?” Paul demanded.
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong,” she returned, just as defensively. “But…” She was confused about this situation. Definitely confused. Beth was all right, Nikki decided; actually she was a lot of fun. Spending time with Beth and Paul while her dad went into Seattle every day had turned out a whole lot better than she’d imagined. Paul might be fifteen, but in some ways he was more of a kid than she was. Not that it bothered Nikki.
“But what?” he asked.
“My mother was a real ditz,” she said, wanting him to understand.
“Your parents are divorced, right?”
“Right. My mom ran off to meet another man. I saw it happen. I mean, she was always on the computer sending this weird guy e-mail messages. My dad didn’t have a clue what was going on. He just couldn’t believe it when she told him she was leaving.”
“My mom didn’t know, either,” Paul murmured, lowering himself onto the beach beside her.
He hung his head and his voice dipped so low she had trouble hearing him.
“I thought your dad died.”
“He did,” Paul said, and his mouth thinned. “But he had a girlfriend. He didn’t think I knew, but I did.”
“Your mom didn’t know?”
“Of course not. She never even suspected. She really, really loved my dad. When we found out he’d been killed, I thought my mom was going to die herself, just from the way she was afterward. It wasn’t like she cried or carried on all the time, but she wasn’t the same. Even now…” He let his words fade as he became involved in his thoughts.
“How’d he die?” Nikki didn’t mean to pry, but she couldn’t help being curious. “Car accident?”
“He was a contractor, and a bunch of bricks fell on him.”
Nikki gave an involuntary grimace.
“Don’t you want your dad to remarry?” Paul asked, studying her.
Nikki didn’t, not when he’d been so hurt by one woman, even if that woman happened to be her own mother. But before she could tell him, Paul continued.
“I don’t want my mom to be alone, especially after I leave for college.”
“But that won’t be for years.” Nikki hadn’t thought about her father being alone. Once she did, she understood Paul’s concern. Without her around, her dad would be helpless. “But don’t you worry about the man she might marry? He could turn out just like your dad, with a girlfriend on the side.”
“This time will be different.”
“How do you mean?”
“Because I’m here to help her decide. I won’t let her marry someone like my dad. Someone who’d cheat on her. If she ever found out, it would just kill her. A new husband would have to pass my scrutiny.”
“Same with me,” Nikki said. Paul made more sense than she’d first thought. If her dad ever did remarry, she’d be around to make sure the new woman was worthy of his love. A woman who understood and appreciated him—unlike her mother.
“My mom’s going to need help, though,” Paul said, interrupting Ni
kki’s musings.
“Help?”
“Well, just look at her,” Paul muttered. “She isn’t even trying to meet anyone. It’s been two years, and her friends all tell her to date again, but she won’t listen. I told her once that I thought she should start meeting other guys, but she just shook her head and walked away.”
“My dad doesn’t date much, either.” Until she’d talked with Paul, Nikki hadn’t considered the matter too deeply. The only thing she’d worried about was protecting her dad against other women like her fickle-hearted mother. “If my dad did remarry…” she began thoughtfully.
“Yeah?” Paul encouraged her to continue.
“I’d want him to choose someone like your mother,” she said, thinking out loud. Once she’d said the words, she realized how much she really did like Beth. She hadn’t wanted to; it’d just sort of happened, one day at a time. Paul’s mom hadn’t ever tried to change her or suggest she do something about her hair. She’d known Nikki wanted to ride the tandem, too, and had found a way to let her try without making a big deal of it. She was willing to laugh at herself, and while Nikki hated to admit it, Beth was a fabulous cook. She’d picked up on her comment about salmon that first morning and had made this wonderful marinade for it. Nikki knew about things like marinades because she studied cookbooks. Beth did incredible things with salmon and shrimp and even oysters. Not only that, she didn’t pressure Nikki to be her friend or to confide in her. Beth was just there, the way her mother had never been.
“I like your dad,” Paul murmured, his face a study in concentration. “He’s quiet and intense. My dad was always cracking jokes and goofing off.”
“He’s brilliant, you know.” She was proud of her father’s brains; unfortunately she’d inherited them and had to struggle to get poor grades. It was a curse.
“You think he might be interested in my mom?” Paul asked, then sat back and slowly smiled. His smile started small, but quickly grew until it dominated his entire face and he looked downright silly.
“Interested?” she repeated. “I’m telling you, Paul, he’s got it bad. He wants her.”