by Susan Wiggs
Beth’s heart ached at the pain she saw and heard. She longed to hug Nikki, but before she could get up, the girl slid out of her seat and raced for the kitchen door. It slammed behind her.
Beth followed, shouting, “Nikki, wait! Please…”
Nikki ignored her plea, flew down the steps and across the yard, heading for the beach.
Paul stopped playing basketball and tucked the ball under his arm as he watched Nikki scramble to the water.
“What was that about?” he asked when Beth joined him.
“I’m not sure,” Beth confessed.
“Do you want me to go after her?”
“No,” Beth said, but she appreciated his compassion. “I think it’d be best if we gave her a few minutes alone. I’ll talk to her later.”
“What happened?” her son asked again.
“She’s…in a lot of pain just now,” Beth said absently, torn about what she should do.
“From the divorce?”
“Yes.”
“Poor kid,” Paul murmured, shaking his head.
Seeing Nikki’s doubts made Beth all the more grateful that Paul had been spared discovering the truth about his father. At least he’d never know how Jim had betrayed them.
Nine
Mary Jane: So what did you think of Canada?
Beth: It was fabulous.
Mary Jane: Are you saying Washington State and British Columbia are heaven?
Beth: Not quite, but you can see it from here.
“Come on,” Paul urged in a bored voice when Nikki lingered on the path leading down to the sunken garden. The four had caught the Port Angeles ferry at an impossibly early hour that morning for a one-day trek to Victoria, British Columbia. They were now in Butchart Gardens, just outside the city. This was Nikki’s first trip to another country and she’d expected it to be more…foreign. But Canada wasn’t all that different from the United States. If she hadn’t gone through customs and had her papers checked, she would’ve figured she was still in the U.S.
Victoria was pretty, though, and there were dozens of things to see and do once they stepped off the ferry. Her dad thought it was important that they visit the provincial museum, so they’d gone there this morning, as part of a tour. The last thing Nikki had wanted to do was wander around a bunch of displays. Even if that statue of Native Americans in a canoe behind a curtain of water was way cool. The replica of an old ship wasn’t bad, either. It creaked and everything when you walked on the deck. But she’d had enough history lessons for one day.
The only place she’d really, really wanted to go wasn’t a tour or anything. She’d fallen in love with the Empress Hotel the moment she saw it from the ferry dock. The large Victorian-style brick hotel with its ivy covered exterior was quite possibly the most romantic building she’d ever seen. All she’d wanted to do was walk through it and buy a few postcards to show her friends.
Beth had been intrigued by it, too, so they’d had breakfast there. While they ate they’d discussed their agenda for the day and ended up on the all-day bus tour, which included the museum and a trip to Butchart Gardens. The beauty of the gardens had taken her by surprise.
“I want to talk to you,” Paul said, his voice insisting that she hurry.
Nikki glanced over her shoulder and noticed that her father and Beth had lagged behind, talking.
“About what?” she asked.
“Your dad and my mom,” he informed her as if it should’ve been obvious.
She tossed him a look that let him know she was beginning to find the whole thing downright tedious. It had become quite evident that their parents didn’t need anyone’s help to fall in love. The only problem seemed to be that neither one knew what to do about it. To be honest, Nikki felt a bit disappointed that her dad hadn’t needed any coaching from her and Paul. She’d been ready and willing to tutor him if he asked—and even if he didn’t. Thus far, he seemed to be doing fine without her assistance.
Nikki had never seen her dad like this, not in all the time he’d been divorced. Sure, he’d dated during the three years since her mother had left. Usually these were arrangements made by well-meaning friends. None had ever amounted to anything.
Beth was different.
Except for the past few weeks, she couldn’t remember when she’d heard her father laugh. His eyes sparkled and he seemed to have a lot more energy. He was certainly eager to do more things than he’d been in ages.
It was what she wanted, what she’d hoped for, but at the same time Nikki wished she’d been the one to bring the life back into his eyes.
“Your mom and my dad,” Nikki said with a deep heartfelt sigh, “don’t need any help from the two of us.”
Paul glared at her. “What’s with you?”
Nikki shrugged, unwilling to admit how she felt, especially when she didn’t like these feelings. She couldn’t tell Paul she was jealous of his mother! Until recently she’d done everything for her dad—she’d cooked his dinner, reminded him of appointments, stuff like that. But he hadn’t been happy, not the way he was now. But then, Nikki hadn’t been happy, either….
“I like your mom,” she said, and meant it. If her dad was going to get involved with a woman other than her mother, then she…Nikki paused in midthought.
That was it. That was what bothered her most. She wanted her mother and father to get back together so they could be a family again. It wasn’t going to happen, she realized with a sick sad feeling.
She sometimes dreamed about her mom and dad in happier times. Her favorite dream was having her mother come home from the hospital with a baby sister. But it would never happen, not with her mother already married to this weirdo she’d met on the Internet.
“Your dad’s great,” Paul said.
“You’re just saying that because he let you drive.”
Paul didn’t agree or disagree. “I like him.”
Her dad was a good guy and her mother was an idiot. Nikki guessed she fell somewhere in between. She just wasn’t sure where.
“What do you think’s going to happen with them?” Paul asked. They continued walking along the pathway, urged forward by the crowd. Nikki paused on the stairway leading out of the sunken garden and looked back. She was surprised to see Beth and her dad sitting on a bench, deep in conversation. They seemed oblivious to anyone else.
“Happen?” Nikki asked.
“Between them.”
“How would I know?” She didn’t own a crystal ball.
“Last weekend they were kissing, and then all week your dad went into the library after dinner. By himself.”
“He had work to do,” she said, defending her father. But she’d noticed it, too, and wondered. It was clear he’d been avoiding Beth. Then again, Beth hadn’t exactly seemed eager for his company, either. But between the times her dad was in the library avoiding Beth, and the times Beth was running around avoiding him, they’d look at each other in a way that told her how they felt.
Those feelings scared Beth; Nikki could sense it. Three or four nights that week she’d disappeared after dinner. Nikki knew she’d taken long walks along the beach. She’d joined Beth a couple of times, and Paul had, too. It was like Beth and her dad had argued, but she knew that wasn’t true. At mealtimes she’d seen the looks they exchanged. They couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Then as soon as dinner was over, they couldn’t get away fast enough.
“It seems to me,” Paul intoned seriously, “that our parents are falling in love and—”
“I already told you that,” Nikki said scornfully.
Paul held up one hand. “Would you let me finish? The problem is, they don’t know what to do next. That’s what they need help with.”
“No kidding, Professor. What do you suggest?”
“I…haven’t got that figured out. I was hoping you had some ideas.”
Nikki shook her head, glancing down at their parents. They sat side by side on the park bench without touching, intent on their conversation. So
intent they were unaware that Paul and Nikki were no longer with them.
“Hey!” Paul suddenly laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Nikki asked.
“If they don’t hurry,” he said, running up the stairs, “they’re going to miss the bus.”
Nikki glanced at her watch and noted the time, surprised herself. Laughing, she raced up the steps behind Paul. It would be a hoot if his mom and her dad got left behind.
It was midnight before they got home. As it was, they were fortunate to catch the last ferry to Spruce Island. By the time they arrived at the house, both Nikki and Paul were asleep in the back seat of the car.
Their day had been full from beginning to end. This venture into Canada had been one of the plans Beth had originally made with Mary Jane. She hated to be this close to British Columbia and not see Victoria. The city had proved to be just as charming as all the books and brochures had claimed. More so, she believed, because she’d seen it with John.
They’d spent the entire week avoiding each other. But once they were together, they couldn’t seem to stop talking. It was as though they’d been friends for years. He told her about his work and she listened, intrigued. They discussed the kids; he said he was thrilled with the change he’d seen in his daughter’s attitude. Beth felt the same way. She’d grown very fond of Nikki, and the girl was beginning to trust her. John had talked more about his ex-wife, too, and how he’d come to a new willingness to forgive her and let her go. He said Beth needed to do the same thing. Not all their conversation was so serious, though; they’d also laughed a lot.
At Rainshadow Lodge, John parked in the carriage house. They sat in the dark a moment, neither of them eager to leave the warm security of the car.
“I had a wonderful time,” Beth whispered, wanting him to know she would treasure this day. There would be touching memories and some comic ones—including the mad dash she and John had made to catch the bus, and the sound of their children laughing when they climbed on board at the last possible moment.
“I had a good time, too,” John whispered.
“I suppose we’d better get inside,” she said, ready to open the car door. But she hesitated.
“How about a walk along the beach?” John said, rushing the words. “That is, if you aren’t too tired.”
“Sure.” Beth wondered if he could guess how glad she was that he’d asked. “Give me five minutes, and I’ll meet you on the front porch.”
“Five minutes,” he echoed.
Actually by the time they woke the kids, steered them upstairs and unloaded the car, it was closer to ten. When she met John, he was carrying a wine bottle and two goblets. “Are you sure you’re not too tired?” he asked again.
“I’m too keyed up to sleep.”
“Me, too.” He led the way down to the waterfront. They heard the murmur of waves caressing the sand, and smelled the ocean’s fresh briny scent. The moon showed a narrow foam trail that stretched along the beach where the tide had withdrawn.
They sat against the log they’d discovered the night of the fire. The night he’d kissed her for the first time.
“The wine was an inspired idea,” she said as she watched him pour them each a glass.
“What shall we toast?” he asked when he’d finished.
Nothing came readily to mind. “To broken legs?” she suggested.
John chuckled. “And good friends.”
“Good friends,” she said, and they touched the rims of their glasses.
Beth sipped the wine, a mellow Chianti, with real appreciation. She’d always enjoyed wine and often recommended a bottle with the meals she catered. She told her clients that wine enhanced a meal and added a touch of elegance to a dinner menu.
After talking nonstop for most of the day, neither she nor John seemed inclined to speak just then. That was fine with her. She didn’t object when he placed his free arm around her shoulder. Nor did he complain when she rested her head against his.
The moment was peaceful, serene.
“Thank you,” John whispered. “For today, for everything, for more than I can mention.”
“Thank you, too.” She tilted her head upward, anticipating his kiss, and wasn’t disappointed. His mouth settled on hers as if he’d been thinking of nothing but tasting her lips.
The hunger of his kisses stole her breath. Each kiss was longer and more intense than the previous one. Soon Beth forgot about her wine, about everything but this man who’d helped her confront the pain of Jim’s betrayal. This man who’d helped her remember she was a woman with a woman’s heart.
She broke off the kiss and braced her forehead against his chest, drawing deep breaths into her lungs while she struggled to regain her equilibrium. She wanted to blame the wine. But it wasn’t a few sips of Chianti that had her head and heart spinning, and she knew it.
“We only have a week left,” he whispered.
Beth didn’t need that reminder; she was already well aware how little time remained.
“It went so fast,” she whispered.
“Too fast.” John’s hands were in her hair, holding her against him.
Silence followed. She thought about the future and how difficult it would be to continue their relationship after this month. He would return to California and she’d go back to St. Louis, and for a time they’d remain in close contact. Phone calls, letters, weekend visits. Each would try…They’d try, but it would be impossible to recapture what they’d found here on this island paradise. Their private paradise. Back in the real world everything would be different. More complicated. There would be compromises and disappointments. Besides all that, she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She needed to find her bearings first, reorient her life.
John tensed at the same moment she did, and she realized they’d allowed their friendship to develop too fast. Like teenagers at summer camp, they’d enjoyed a vacation romance, but they’d part and that would be the end of it.
“When are you scheduled to fly back to St. Louis?” he asked casually.
“Sunday afternoon.”
“Nikki and I are catching a flight to LAX at six.”
“Ours is at four.”
“You might as well drive in with us.”
“That’ll work out great,” she said, and leaned against the log, staring into the dark night. The only sound was that of the ebbing waves.
“I guess we’d better call it a night,” John suggested as he got to his feet. He offered her his hand and she let him pull her upright.
“Thanks for a wonderful day.”
It astonished her that they could be lost in a kiss one moment and act like polite strangers the next. But that was what he wanted, what she wanted, too. Wasn’t it? A stolen kiss now and again, but nothing else and certainly nothing more.
Ten
Mary Jane: You know the problem with being in the middle of the road, don’t you?
Beth: I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.
Mary Jane: You get hit by cars traveling in both directions. I think it’s time you and I had a little heart-to-heart.
Beth: Not yet, but soon. Not just yet.
A soft knock sounded on the closed library door. Emotionally and mentally drained, John glanced up from his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. The day had been exhausting, full of the unexpected—including a job offer from a Seattle-based computer company. So many decisions…“Who is it?” he asked in a tired voice.
It could only be Beth or Paul. Nikki would have considered it her right to simply barge in.
“Paul.”
John got up and opened the library door. It was early, still light out, and he had a stack of printouts to read this evening if he was going to hand in his report by the end of the week.
“Do you have a couple of minutes?” Paul asked with the politeness John had come to expect from him.
“Of course,” he said, and motioned him into the room.
Paul chose to sit in one of the two upholster
ed wing chairs positioned next to the massive fireplace. John claimed its twin and patiently waited for the boy to say what was on his mind.
He liked Paul, and had given him four or five driving lessons now. He found Beth’s son to be intelligent, quick-witted and respectful. All three attributes would serve him well in the future.
“It’s about my mom,” Paul said, staring intently at John. “I’d like to know your intentions.”
“My…intentions?” John repeated, taken aback by the directness of the boy’s question.
“Nikki and I’ve been watching the two of you—”
“Did my daughter put you up to this?” John wasn’t sure what to think. “There’s been nothing to watch,” he added abruptly.
“We saw you kiss,” Paul said in a tone that suggested a shotgun wedding might be in order.
“That’s…It didn’t mean…You saw?” The words tumbled out of his mouth, his thoughts confused. It’d been a long time since anyone had flustered him as much as this kid.
“Nikki and I think you’re in love.”
“Love?” John wiped a hand over his face, wishing he knew the best way to handle this and avoid any hurt feelings. “Paul, with all due respect, this matter is between your mother and me. Not you, me, Nikki and your mother.”
“Do you love her?”
John opened his mouth to automatically deny it, then stopped himself in time. He thought about the word “love,” and realized he hadn’t made it part of his vocabulary since the divorce. But he had to acknowledge that he was attracted to Beth. He couldn’t be with her and not experience a deep yearning to hold her and kiss her. Yet, strong as that attraction was, his feelings transcended the physical.
In fact, his feelings for Beth had changed just about everything in his life.
These past three weeks had shown a dramatic improvement in his relationship with Nikki, and that was due to Beth’s influence on his daughter—her influence on him, too. He’d come to understand certain aspects of his failed marriage, as well as his own shortcomings in handling the situation between Nikki and Lorraine. He credited Beth with that revelation, along with the rest. Credited her with awakening his heart and reminding him that life had a good side, too. A side he’d too often ignored.