“And what if you don’t like the answer?”
“I want to hear it anyway.”
“Fine,” he relented. “The truth is that hanging out with you, Ava, Max and Sam the other night...it just got a little too real for me.”
“I don’t understand,” she said. “It’s not as if that’s the first time we’ve hung out together. What changed all of a sudden?”
What changed was that he’d realized he was falling for her—and her kids. Why else would he have spent a Friday night sitting on an uncomfortable sofa in the basement apartment of her parents’ house with her children sprawled around them? All the while basking in the feeling that he belonged there, with them.
And when Ava had climbed into his lap and laid her head against his chest, his heart had swelled so much that his ribs actually ached. It had been an exhilarating—and terrifying—feeling.
Because he knew that if he let himself get in any deeper, he might not survive losing them. It would be smarter, easier, he’d decided, to walk away now.
“Being with your kids simply reminded me that I’m not daddy material,” he said.
“Disregarding the blatant inaccuracy of that statement for a moment—have I asked you to step into the father role for my kids?” she challenged.
“No,” he admitted. “But if we keep seeing each other, isn’t that what you’re going to expect? If I keep spending time with your kids, isn’t that what they’re going to expect?”
“They’re nine months old,” she pointed out. “I don’t think you need to worry about their expectations. You definitely don’t need to worry about mine.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Macy.”
She shook her head, her eyes glittering with moisture. “And I never meant to fall in love. In fact, I’d given up believing it would ever happen,” she confided. “I thought maybe I didn’t have it in me to give my heart to someone else. And then you came along.”
Was she saying that she loved him?
Was it possible?
No, he didn’t—wouldn’t let himself—believe it. He wouldn’t be led down that garden path again where poisonous weeds could wrap around his heart.
“You don’t love me, Macy.”
She lifted those tear-filled eyes to his. “You don’t have to feel the same way—and you’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t,” she said. “But don’t you dare presume to tell me how I feel.”
Then she exited the library, grabbed her coat off the hook and slammed the intricately engraved wood door she’d once admired behind her.
Chapter Fifteen
Macy knew better than to go straight home.
She needed some time to bury her heartache before facing her mother’s inquisition—and if she arrived home early in the day, Macy knew there would be an inquisition.
She also needed ice cream. Because nothing soothed a wounded soul like ice cream.
She left The Trading Post with two bags of groceries and a fresh perspective.
“I saw Alyssa Channing this afternoon,” Macy said, setting her grocery bags on the counter. “She was on her way home from the hospital.”
Bev reached into one of the bags for a familiar-looking box. “Regan had her babies?” she guessed.
Macy nodded as she opened the freezer to tuck away her stash of ice cream.
“What did she have?” her mother immediately wanted to know. “And how are they all doing?”
“Two girls, each just over five pounds, and everyone’s doing fine. Although both the new mom and dad are exhausted after twenty-two hours of labor.”
Bev winced sympathetically as she opened the flap of the box and pulled out the cellophane package inside. “Bet you’re glad your doctor finally opted to do a C-section.”
“Yeah, the sixteen hours of labor that preceded it only felt like forever,” Macy remarked dryly.
“But Ava, Max and Sam are worth every minute, aren’t they?”
Her gaze shifted from one to the next and the next, and her heart overflowed with so much love it almost filled the cracks caused by Liam’s rejection. “They are,” she agreed.
Bev distributed teething biscuits to her grandbabies as Macy continued to unpack the groceries.
“You should go see Regan and her twins,” her mom suggested. “I don’t mean now, but when she’s home from the hospital. I’m sure she’d appreciate talking to someone who has experience with multiples.”
“I will,” she promised.
“Good. And now, you should scoop up two bowls of that ice cream and tell me why you’re home in the middle of the day.”
* * *
“I haven’t seen you around here in a while,” Sky remarked, when her brother settled onto a stool at the bar.
“I’ve been busy,” Liam told her.
“And suddenly you’re not?”
“I just needed a break.”
She set his beer on a paper coaster in front of him. “Is that what you told Macy?”
He scowled at the amber liquid in his glass.
“Alyssa came by earlier and mentioned that she saw Macy at The Trading Post—and that she looked upset.”
“Why would you immediately assume that has anything to do with me?”
“Because I know you,” she said simply.
He lifted the glass to his mouth.
Sky picked up a towel and began wiping and shelving the rack of glasses the dishwasher had brought out to her. “Successful relationships require honesty and communication.”
“Did I ask for any advice?” he challenged.
“No,” she acknowledged. “But you’re here.”
“Only for the beer,” he assured her.
“Did you tell her about Simon?”
Her gentle tone failed to soften the blow of the question. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“And maybe she’d say the same thing about the father of her babies.”
“Except she doesn’t say anything about him at all,” he remarked.
“And that’s what worries you.”
“I’m not worried,” he denied. “I just decided that I wasn’t interested in taking our relationship any further.”
“Really? Because if I had to guess, I’d say you’re hurting just as much as she is right now.”
Maybe he was, but he figured it was better than continuing along and hurting even more later.
* * *
“How’d the calving go today?” David asked his sons, as he poked at the grilled salmon on his plate.
Liam could tell by the disinterest on his face that his father was wishing he could be cutting into a juicy hunk of sirloin instead of heart-healthy fish.
“No major snags,” Caleb said.
He nodded, confirming his brother’s assessment. There had been a few scary moments when they’d had to turn a breech calf—a situation that could quickly turn fatal for both the mom and baby—but in the end, they’d got the job done and there was no reason to worry their father with the details now.
Of course, Caleb’s response exhausted that topic of conversation, and with not much else to talk about, the rest of the meal passed in relative silence.
When he was finished eating, Caleb folded his napkin on the table and pushed his chair back. “We’re starting early again tomorrow, so I’m heading up to bed now.”
Liam should do the same, but there was a question that had been niggling at the back of his mind for some time now, and he knew that it wasn’t going to go away. So he stayed where he was while Martina cleared the table.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, when the housekeeper had finished.
“Can I stop you?” his father grumbled.
It wasn’t exactly an invitation, but Liam forged ahead anyway. “When you were in the hospital, did Valerie Blake stop by to see y
ou?”
His father’s gaze shifted away. “Where would you get a crazy idea like that?”
“At the hospital,” he said. “When I saw a woman who looked a lot like Valerie Blake leaving your room.”
David was quiet for a long minute, as if uncertain how to answer his son’s question. “Yeah, she stopped by,” he finally said.
Which, of course, led to Liam wanting to know: “Why?”
“She’s a Blake. She probably wanted to know if I was going to kick the bucket.”
“That’s sounds like a credible explanation—except that she was wiping her eyes, as if she was crying, as she walked out.”
“Mourning the fact I wasn’t dead, I guess.”
“I don’t think that’s why,” Liam said.
“It doesn’t matter what you think. Her visit didn’t mean anything,” his father insisted.
He should let it go. Everything about his father’s body language and tone warned Liam to let it go—and that’s why he couldn’t. “Did you and Valerie Blake...were you ever...involved?”
“No,” David denied, not looking at him. “We were never involved.”
“But you slept with her,” Liam guessed.
His father sighed wearily. “Once. A long time ago.”
The reluctant admission made him feel both vindicated and sick. “You cheated on Mom?”
“No! Never.” David scrubbed his hands over his face. “How could you possibly think...?” He shook his head. “Your mother was the love of my life,” he said. “From the minute I set eyes on her, I didn’t even see anyone else. She was it for me.”
“Then it was after she died,” he realized.
His father exhaled and slowly nodded. “Five years after. Five years to the day, in fact.” And although he’d been reluctant to start talking, now he couldn’t seem to stop. “Five years and I still missed your mom just as much as I had every single day since her passing. So I went into town and had a few too many drinks at Diggers’.
“Valerie was a waitress there at the time. Being a Monday, the bar was practically empty, so she sat with me and we talked. We talked until the bar closed—and then we went back to her place.
“She moved away to Washington shortly after that, and only returned to Haven three or four years ago. I’ve crossed paths with her in town a handful of times since then, rarely exchanging more than a nod of acknowledgment.”
“She never stopped by the ranch?”
David shook his head. “Never.”
“And yet, when she heard that you were in the hospital, she went all the way to Elko to see you?”
This time his dad nodded.
“Why?”
He sighed again. “Because she wanted to tell me that her daughter, Ashley, is my daughter, too.”
* * *
Two weeks, Macy realized, noting the date on the computer screen.
Two weeks had passed since the last time she’d made love with Liam. Two weeks since she’d accepted that she was all the way in love with him. And twelve days since he’d made it clear he was never going to feel the same way.
But her heart, battered and bruised as it was, continued to beat inside her chest. And she continued to enjoy her job at the inn, even if she wasn’t particularly fond of her boss right now.
“Jensen.” The male voice broke through her reverie. “Gord and Isabella.”
Macy offered a welcoming smile. She noted the couple’s linked hands and the easy affection in the look they exchanged. She keyed in the name and quickly found the reservation—for Wild Bill’s Getaway Suite.
“And Simon,” a young boy piped up. “That’s me.”
“Hello, Simon.” She smiled at him as she took the platinum credit card his father slid across the desk. “I’m Macy, and if you have any questions or need anything at all, you come to me and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”
“I’m thirsty,” he announced.
“There are complimentary hot and cold beverages, and some light snacks, available in the solarium—” She pointed across the hall. “That’s also where you’ll have your breakfast in the morning.”
“Can I have pancakes?”
“I’d guess that’s up to your mom and dad,” she said, looking to them for direction. “But there are pancakes on the menu.”
The boy’s mom smiled indulgently as she brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead. “You might want to try something else for a change,” she suggested.
“Nuh-uh,” Simon said. “I want pancakes.”
“Then you can have pancakes,” his dad confirmed.
“Yay!” He punched his fist in the air. “I’m gonna have pancakes.”
“Are you in town for business or pleasure?” Macy asked the couple.
The wife spoke first. “Pleasure.”
“Definitely pleasure,” her husband agreed.
“Nuh-uh, Dad,” Simon protested. “You said we’re goin’ to Adventure Village to ride the go-karts.”
His dad chuckled. “And we will,” he promised.
Macy handed over the key to the room and gave a brief summary of the inn’s features. “And please, let me know if there’s anything you need to enhance your enjoyment,” she said again.
“Thank you,” the husband said, reaching for his wife’s hand again. “But I think we’ve got everything we need.”
* * *
Liam’s head was still reeling over the revelation that his father might have another child—and that he might have a twelve-year-old half sister he didn’t know anything about—but he pushed that information to the back of his mind and focused on the ranch. Apparently his grandparents thought that focus translated into neglect of the inn. Although they trusted that Macy had everything running as smoothly and precisely as the gears of a Swiss watch, they reminded Liam that the inn was his investment and his responsibility.
And that was why, after breakfast Saturday morning, he found himself behind the wheel of his truck, driving into town.
He had mixed feelings as he walked through the doors of the inn. He was proud of the success the hotel had already achieved and grateful to Macy for all of her work. But he missed her—so damn much. And not just the warmth of her naked body tangled with his—though he definitely missed that, too—but working alongside her, talking to her, laughing with her.
But he still believed he’d done the right thing in ending their relationship before they got in too deep. Sure, he missed her sometimes—maybe even all the time—but he’d get over her. He just needed a little more time.
And he needed to live his own life separate from hers and her kids so that he didn’t start to think of them as a family. He wasn’t going to go through with her what he’d gone through with Isabella. He wasn’t going to risk his heart that way again.
Maybe it was because he was thinking about her that he almost wasn’t surprised when he walked into the solarium and saw Izzy there. Or maybe he was so surprised that it took him a moment to realize that she wasn’t simply a figment of his imagination.
But she was obviously startled to see him, because her fork slipped from her fingers and clattered against her plate when her gaze locked with his. The man seated across from her—Gord, he guessed, though he’d never met her husband—said something, and she forced a smile in response as she picked up her fork again.
As if of their own volition, Liam’s feet propelled him closer to their table, his gaze fixed on the boy seated between the adults.
“I had pancakes for breakfast,” Simon announced, and his lightning-quick smile was like a sucker punch in Liam’s gut. “And four strips of bacon.”
“That’s a lot of bacon,” he remarked, pleased the even tenor of his response gave away nothing of the emotions churning inside him.
Simon’s head bobbed as he nodded. “I like bacon.”
“Extra crispy?”
The boy’s eyes went wide, as if he couldn’t imagine how Liam might possibly have guessed such a thing, and he nodded again.
Liam forced his attention to shift to the boy’s parents. “And was your meal satisfactory this morning?”
“It was,” Gord agreed, as he dumped a packet of sugar into his coffee.
“Delicious,” Izzy said, a tentative smile playing around the corners of her mouth.
“That’s good.” He didn’t smile back. “If you need anything at all during your stay, please don’t hesitate to contact the front desk.”
He started across the room, in the direction of a smaller table where a young couple was just being served. But his heart was heavy and his smile was stiff, and he knew he couldn’t go through the motions. Not right now.
Instead, he turned and exited the solarium.
Of all the days to come into town, why had he chosen this day? And how soon could he make his escape without appearing to be doing exactly that? He decided that until then, he would take refuge in the library. He only wanted a moment alone to gather his thoughts and his composure. Of course, Isabella had never given him what he wanted.
“Please, Liam,” she called out to him. “Don’t walk away from me.”
He turned to face her, his voice low and tightly controlled. “You’re the one who walked—no, ran—back to your supposedly ex-husband.”
She lifted her chin. “Because I owed it to him, and to Simon, to give our marriage another chance.”
He hadn’t been distressed by the sight of his ex-girlfriend with her husband, because he had no lingering romantic feelings for her. But seeing the little boy who’d once asked Liam if he could call him Daddy had cut to the quick.
“He doesn’t even remember me,” Liam said now.
“He’s eight,” Izzy pointed out, her stance and her tone noticeably softer. “And he hasn’t seen you in more than four years.”
He nodded. Four years was almost half of Simon’s lifetime, but the blink of an eye to the man who’d once thought he’d be part of the boy’s life forever. Liam cleared his throat. “He’s gotten so big.”
Claiming the Cowboy's Heart Page 18