by A Lorenzen
Carl made his way through the crowd towards me. He was one of the few people I wanted to see and thank. Carl could see I was not well and took me aside from the beaming crowd. He inadvertently led me into the corner where I had first met Ben.
‘How are you holding up?’ Carl asked in his usual rough voice.
‘Still a little shaky, but I will be ok,’ I repeated once more my rehearsed response.
His brown eyes gazed at me through the strains of his grey hair. ‘Are you sure?’
I nodded my head but failed to convince him.
‘Have you talked to Blake or your master about what happened?’
‘No, not yet.’
I glanced to where I had last seen Blake, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.
Carl leaned closer and whispered in my ear. ‘Don’t worry, it will all be ok. You are strong and resilient, just like Kim. Makes me think the masters should choose more women to become ghosts.’
I had to chuckle.
Carl rubbed my arm. ‘You will be alright, kid. Blake has trained you well.’
He nodded and a warm smile spread across his aged face. A warmth radiated from the seasoned trainer that made me feel safe.
‘I’ll do my best,’ I said.
With one last smile he disappeared back into the crowd. I took a deep breath, but the air was stuffy. The music was loud, but somehow the crowd managed to be even louder. I smuggled myself through the masses, out of the yellow-lit party zone and into the cool night.
What a relief! I walked towards the waterfront across the massive parking lot. Carl’s speech had triggered so many memories; I daydreamed about the great human life I had underappreciated all those years. The carelessness my life had had… I trailed off into memories of holidays together, walks with Bruce, concerts with my friends…
I could see Liam smiling at me. But he abruptly deserted me leaving Viktor and those violent red eyes. What if he had killed me that very moment? I had barely been here a year and it had almost all come to an end, long before my sixty-some years’ sentence was up.
How would I survive this until the end? There were probably millions of vampires in this world. If they were all so powerful, which was a pretty safe bet, how could I survive? Another would come along soon enough, and then what?
I began to realize how valuable Blake’s training had been… but also how utterly useless. I had no chance against any vampire, I couldn’t even outrun one. The best way to stay alive was to avoid them altogether! How much stronger and faster would I have to be? How much more did I have to train?
I bent my upper body over the railing, my elbows resting on it. A fresh breeze played with my hair. This was worse than an uphill battle; this was like an ant trying to defeat a shark, in the water.
I couldn’t help but feel tricked; this was not a fair fight! How could the council not give us a weapon to kill those blood-thirsty monsters? There had to be a way! How could I have been tricked into coming to this shit-hole parallel world?!
The more I thought about it, the more the logical part of my brain kicked in, trying to reason with me; if they were so invincible, they would have wiped the ghosts out a long time ago. They were intelligent enough to do it, so why were we still here?
My thoughts drifted in another direction. Viktor had mentioned another victim. He had insinuated that somehow a trainer had been involved too. Was he talking about Ben? And how had the trainer been involved? Could he have been part of it? No, that was out of the question.
Blake had said he had found the recruit and didn’t mention anything about Ben. But… why would Viktor lie? Or did Viktor mean Blake discovered them?
Suddenly I thought I felt someone touching my shoulder. Instinctively, I pushed myself away from the railing, drew my gun and shot without thinking.
‘DON’T TOUCH ME!’ I screamed before I recognized the shadow.
The gun shook in my hands. My ears rang from the shot.
I could feel him, standing behind me, pressing me against Blake’s truck.
‘Ameerah it’s me!’
He didn’t move. It took me a few moments before it sank in that I had shot Ben.
‘Are you… hurt? Did I get you?’ I realized I had the gun still pointed at him. With shaking hands, I holstered it onto my right side.
‘Doesn’t matter, are you alright?’
He dared to come closer and the sparse light illuminated his face.
I closed my eyes and brushed through my hair.
He was gone, he would never hurt me again. Nobody would ever touch me again.
‘You scared me. I didn’t mean to shoot… Did I hit you?’
Ben glanced at his left shoulder. ‘You grazed me.’
‘Blake has a medical kit in his car.’ I walked towards the parked truck away from the river.
My mind was racing. Why was I so jumpy when I knew he was dead?
I gestured for Ben to sit down in the driver’s seat with the door open and placed the medical kit in his lap. He had taken off his jacket and t-shirt and I disinfected the wounds with sweating hands. I asked him to gently lift his arm so I could wrap the wound as best as I could. My fingers were numb and the bandages took forever. I used my left hand to hold the bandages in place as I wrapped his wound, inadvertently touching his warm skin. His strong muscles around his shoulders were visible even in this sparse light.
While I pretended to be a medical professional, Ben stayed quiet and looked at me with a soft expression.
‘Ameerah?’
I made a sound indicating I was listening.
‘Did someone hurt you?’
For a moment I froze. When the tears suddenly kept falling, I quickly finished up.
‘There, all done’ I tried to smile and zipped the kit closed. My eyes were looking down at his shoes. I couldn’t look at him.
Ben didn’t move.
‘I… I don’t want to talk about it,’ I whispered. My face was covered in tears and the memories were playing in front of my eyes.
I could feel his weight on me.
He slowly raised himself up. In the dark and in a confined space between the parked cars he seemed so much taller and stronger than me. Ben quietly stretched his hand towards me and I let him touch my hand. He didn’t squeeze it or close his hand around it, he only caressed my fingers very gently.
‘Just tell me who and I’ll take care of it,’ Ben whispered in my ear as a promise.
He then turned away and quietly walked off to his car and drove off.
I sat down on the driver’s seat of Blake’s truck and calmed down while I let the tears dry. Vladimir was dead. His body had been carried away by the river, hopefully far away before it was found. No one would trace it back to Kim and me.
There was a sound of a door being opened. A man came out of the pub and lit a cigarette in front of the door, bringing me back to the present.
I texted Blake I wanted to go home. He appeared only a few minutes later and waved at the man smoking by the door as he walked towards the truck. I hoped I had wiped away the distress from my face.
‘What’s going on?’
I was in the passenger seat and looked at my phone, trying to hide my face. ‘I have a bad headache and all those people- it’s just making it worse.’
He nodded and drove us home. I apologized to Kim via text message.
‘I hope you enjoyed your party at least,’ Blake finally broke the silence. His eyes were on the road, but I could see him glancing over to me every now and again.
‘Yeah, it was nice. It was just too soon…’
‘What happened? In the office with Viktor?’ Blake asked in a soft tone.
I looked over to him and our eyes locked in on each other. I couldn’t hold long and quickly averted my eyes.
‘I was with Liam when he… came in. I knew right away I couldn’t escape him. Every time I tried to outrun him, he would… hit me or throw me against the wall.’
I was not enjoying talking about it. Yet another
man that petrified me from the grave.
‘Did he say anything to you?’
‘No, he just mentioned he had… killed another recruit.’ When I spoke the words, our gaze crossed again.
We drove in silence for a while. Eventually, we pulled up at the house.
‘How do you kill one?’
Blake took the key out of the ignition. We both got out of the car.
‘Burning them is the most effective way. They are so fast you usually can’t get close enough to set them on fire. Shooting them from several angles holds them in place and eventually kills them. Generally, you need to be three or four ghosts to be on the safe side. Once they are down, you set them on fire.’
‘But,’ I replied as we went through the door, ‘What if I’m alone?’
We went up the stairs and Blake took his jacket, sweater, and top off and got ready for a nightly workout. I waited, standing in the middle of the living room. Minutes passed before he eventually answered.
‘If you’re alone against one then yes, you’ll probably die. All I can say is it’s better to try to escape than to try to fight.’
‘I guess I’m lucky you all came when you did.’
‘You were. Now you understand why I’m so hard with you.’ He smiled encouragingly. His voice was unusually quiet.
I managed a smile back and headed to my bedroom to put my purse away. My body was still hot from the crowd and I craved a shower. While soaping in the cool water, my thoughts drifted off to Ben. He had said he would protect me, but how could I trust another man? I barely knew him and the story with his recruit was appalling… and yet… I found myself wanting to be around him. There was something about him that made me feel safe. I longed to be close to someone, close to a loving man who would protect me even if I didn’t want to need his protection.
Half an hour later I got out and Blake had finished training; he was now leaning against the table and looking at the chalk board, gently strumming his guitar. ‘You took a long time in there.’
‘I… I was really hot from the crowd and… just lost track of time.’
Even after the long shower I couldn’t sleep. Only a few hours after lying down I found myself wandering around the house. Every time I closed my eyes, images of Viktor with his bright crimson eyes haunted me. When I wasn’t seeing Viktor, I saw Vladimir pushing me and trying to force himself onto me. The clinging of his belt buckle continuously rang in my head.
I curled up on Blake’s chair and looked outside. There were barely any streetlights, but I could still see everything in the dark. The sun was not up yet but the sky had started to turn blue.
SECRETS
I awoke to the sound of Blake playing his guitar.
‘Good morning,’ he said with his back towards me.
I rubbed my eyes and stretched my limbs as I approached him and looked at his charts lying on his desk. There were drawings of moloch nests.
‘I didn’t sleep much.’
‘Tough life,’ he responded and spun around, ‘Get dressed, you’re jogging in five.’
‘I thought I was field approved now! Why are you giving me orders?’ I grumbled.
Blake smiled his devilish smile, which meant he was about to reveal a loophole. I hated that smile. ‘Technically speaking, you’re not field approved until the council has said so. And secondly, just because you’re field approved doesn’t mean you can slack off, on the contrary!’
‘What’s the point of being field approved then?’ I questioned, shaking my head.
‘You can finally help me kill molochs and vampires on missions. I can’t do it all by myself!’ he chuckled and wrote some notes on the board.
I shivered at the mention of vampires. I would avoid them at any cost, whatever Blake said.
It was another excruciatingly hot morning. After resenting the council for making me pass the test in the freezing arctic, I now found myself wishing it was colder. The sun was intense, and the many windows and buildings attracted more of its heat.
Even after a long cool shower, I quickly started sweating again. When I opened the door to the bathroom, Blake was standing in the living room, his arms crossed across his chest, looking at me with a smile on his face.
‘What?’ I asked at his blank expression.
‘Your master is here,’ Blake quietly stated, his ocean eyes observing my reaction.
I could feel my heart speeding up, my breath accelerating and my hormones spiking. A feeling of peace spread through my cells, relaxing and exciting at the same time.
‘I’ll leave you two.’ Blake nodded and as he stepped aside, a man was revealed sitting in Blake’s chair. When I walked closer, I saw a black man dressed in a white shirt and black pants. He was bald and had a strong jaw line.
At first, I eyed the man suspiciously, until he smiled showing off a row of paper-white teeth. A fresh wave of positive emotions drowned my body. It made me sway backwards, almost losing my balance.
‘Good afternoon, Ameerah,’ he spoke with the renowned French accent. ‘My name is Caleb.’
‘Hello,’ I responded shyly. His aura impressed me. He had a strong presence and it was impossible not to be attracted by his power, whatever it was.
‘We finally meet, officially. I have observed you for a long time.’
After a few moments of silence, he continued, ‘I am the one who watched you in the other world. Blake appeared in your dreams, but it was I who decided to open the door to this world to you.’
He rose with lightness off the chair and strolled to the window.
All my unanswered questions came rushing back to my consciousness. ‘You were the one who brought me here?’
‘Yes and no,’ he grinned, ‘I chose you, but Blake had to convince you to cross over.’
‘Why Blake? Why didn’t you appear in my dreams?’ I inquired.
Caleb smiled and looked out the window. ‘Because it is not my duty to bring ghosts into this world, I only choose.’
‘Why me?’ I restrained myself from adding Why did you tear me away from my innocent life?
‘Your fate in the other world was sealed. I observed you for a long time before deciding you were worthy of… escaping your death. Our… connection formed before you were even aware.’
Caleb turned to me with his magnificent smile. I just stood there, startled by his very presence, dealing with all the positive emotions cascading inside me. With every step he took towards me, my breathing accelerated. Caleb opened his hands and offered them to me. I paused but he smiled encouragingly and I laid my hands in his. The moment our skin touched the connection overwhelmed me; the positive feelings were nothing compared to how I felt now. I was in ecstasy, surrendering to the gentle massage of happiness invading me. All worries were gone; I had no guilt, shame, reluctance, resentment, or any other remotely negative feeling in me. They had all been replaced by positive and loving feelings.
‘Ameerah, follow my voice.’
I could hear a distant whisper calling me back. My head swam in happiness.
‘Ameerah, come back to me,’ someone softly called. I obeyed and felt no reluctance in leaving this heaven. I knew I could return here anytime I desired.
When I opened my eyes, I was standing in front of Caleb, our hands still touching. The heavenly feeling had dulled but it was still claiming most of my attention. It was hard to concentrate.
‘I had not anticipated your reaction to be so strong,’ Caleb stated, pleased. ‘What you are experiencing is the master-protégé bond between us. You can feel my presence when I’m close and it gives you comfort.’
I clung to every word he uttered. He made me feel loved.
‘Do you remember, before you crossed into this world? I was always around you.’
I remembered walking in the fields in the south of France with Bruce. He had been upset and acting strange. Then I remembered I thought someone was in my room, but it was empty.
‘Yes, my child. That was me.’
‘But why did
you choose me?’ I asked in a dreamy state.
‘Because you have qualities I seek in my protégés. Blake used to be my protégé and I therefore knew you could counterbalance and complete him.’
So, I was just an addition to Blake? The only reason I had been chosen was to counter Blake’s eccentricities?
‘No Ameerah. You are not only a balance to Blake. After observing you, I saw you are intelligent, resilient, and able to question yourself. I needed someone who was strong and who could be a partner to Blake in his mission.’
I blushed at the compliments I was receiving from a completely foreign man.
Caleb let go of my hands. The positive flow was abruptly interrupted and I stumbled backwards, like one unexpectedly stepping off a moving walkway at an airport. I had to sit down in my chair to avoid fainting. I had experienced so many positive emotions in such a short time it made me dizzy.
Caleb smiled. ‘As it is our first encounter, you are greatly overwhelmed by my presence. It is time for me to go.’
I couldn’t help but feel hurt. He was going to leave me? Why? I wanted him to stay! He brought me comfort I so desperately needed. I got up and made a step towards him, wanting to hug him to experience again the ecstasy, but Caleb backed away. The hurt I felt was much stronger than I had anticipated; I went from euphoric to devastated in no time.
‘Your need for me is accentuated. I have over-sensitized you to me. If you touch me now you will pass out from the feeling of comfort and reassurance I give you.’
I grunted in protest. Once more, I was surprised by my reaction. This was all so new to me. I nodded and backed away from him.
‘I will see you soon again, Ameerah.’ His voice caressed my name. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the echo of his voice in my head. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing alone in the living room. He had slipped out faster than I had thought possible.
The welcoming feeling slowly pulsed down. I was shaking from the feelings I had experienced. The bond with Caleb was a strong attachment that I tentatively compared to unconditional love, but the love I felt for Caleb was more of a craving of his presence, approval, and attention, rather than passion. He was a comfort in this harsh world that I wanted around me to protect me from its evils and to bring me back home.