Blissfully Blindsided

by Robin Alexander

  “Were you badly hurt?” Caleigh asked with a grimace.

  “They didn’t break any bones in my face, but they bruised me up pretty good, and busted my nose and lip. When I finally slapped Taci enough to make her stop biting me I looked around and realized a bunch of people were videoing us. I was furious because they were doing that instead of trying to help. In hindsight, they did help because those videos ended up saving my ass.”

  “I didn’t mean to make light of it,” Caleigh said apologetically. “I was being kinda cavalier because I wanted you to know I don’t think you’re a maniac...bunny.”

  Blaze smiled. “Well, thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t get that around here much.” She toyed with the napkin wrapped around her silverware. “I admit I gave people in this town reason to think I was a crazy when I was in high school. I was angry back then and I reacted to things without thinking. I pissed off a lot of people who still live in Falcon, and they judge me based on who I was then.” She tapped Caleigh’s menu. “You better take a look at this. They do a lot of things with waffles.”

  “I guess that’s the downside of living in a small town, huh?” Caleigh asked as she opened the menu.

  “Yep.” Blaze started to warn Caleigh about other things she’d hear about her, but figured she’d spend all of their time together trying to explain herself.

  “What happened when you were arrested?”

  “When the cops got there, they found me standing over two bleeding women on the ground in blood-covered fur. They thought I’d gone on some kind of rampage and cuffed me. The people who’d been standing around videoing everything stepped up and showed the cops the footage. Between that and Taci’s warrant for assault, they took me to the hospital instead of jail. I was really thankful for that because the suit was hot, and all I had on underneath it was my underwear. I didn’t wanna be sitting in a cell showing off my smiley face undies,” Blaze said with a laugh. “I don’t think cheerful underwear earns you a lot of respect in jail.”

  Caleigh glanced at Blaze with a smile. “Maybe if you were sharing a cell with outlaw clowns.” She closed her menu. “I can’t look at this anymore. There’re too many choices, and I just caught myself contemplating the Chocolate Berry Mountain.”

  “I tried to scale it once. There was an avalanche that ended in my lap, and I had the sugar shakes so bad I almost didn’t make it back to the store. Speaking of disasters, did you get all the shoes out of your trunk?”

  “Aha!” Caleigh pointed a finger at Blaze and laughed. “I knew you were judging me for that after I explained why I had so many.”

  “Please remind me what you did. You didn’t have my full attention because I was worrying about the sun going down before I got the tire changed.”

  “I worked for MVP Pharmacies. I handled the staffing for new stores we were opening, and when there were HR issues store management couldn’t handle, I’d be called in. When I wasn’t doing that, I was auditing the operations of the stores.”

  Blaze nodded. “So you were basically a district manager.”

  “No, my title was HR manager. MVP didn’t have district managers. They just ran me and a handful of others all over the country to settle issues and check up on stores.”

  “How long—thanks,” Blaze said when Andrea set their drinks on the table.

  “Caleigh, have you decided what you’d like to have?” Andrea asked.

  “The strawberry waffle with a side of crispy bacon, please.”

  “Almost the same as your usual,” Andrea said and smiled at Blaze. “Is that what you’re having?”

  “Yep,” Blaze said.

  Andrea nodded and scooped up the menus. “Holler at me if the coffee gets low,” she said and walked away briskly.

  “Were you about to ask me how long I worked at MVP?” Caleigh asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I went to work for MVP as soon as I graduated college. That’s why I had the meltdown the other night. I’m very nervous about the new job at the shipyard. I especially don’t want to be proven inept at a place where my grandfather has worked for most of his life,” Caleigh admitted. “There are some things that fall under Falcon’s HR responsibilities that I don’t know a whole lot about. Part of my new job will be to review the corporate health plan and search for better and more economical options annually. I know I’m gonna piss a lot of people off about that, even if all my choices are sound.”

  “I’ve only ever worked at The Old Store, so I understand how it could be intimidating to leave a job you know like the back of your hand.” Blaze leaned closer to the table and whispered, “I know the former HR manager, and on the intelligence scale, you’re not just a few steps above him, you’re like twenty floors. I feel confident telling you that you’ve got this.”

  Caleigh smiled. “Thank you.”

  One of the other patrons got up from his table and said, “Hey, Blaze, how’s your momma doing?”

  “She’s doing great,” Blaze said with a big smile. “Thanks for asking, Tom.” Her smile vanished when Tom walked away with a chuckle. “You’ve heard about her, too, haven’t you?”

  Caleigh nodded. “A little.”

  Blaze chewed her lip and looked away. “Probably everything you’ve heard is true. She abandoned me and my sister when we were little for her acting career. We didn’t see her again until we were grown when she started coming here for very short yearly visits. She recently showed up at my house in a wheelchair after she had an accident. She claimed she’s broke and had no other place to go. Even though I find her story a little sketchy, I agreed to let her stay until she’s on her feet.”

  “That must be hard.”

  “It is.” Blaze met Caleigh’s gaze. “Ronnie and I have never said anything to her about how we feel about what she did, and she’s never tried to talk to us about it. We had superficial conversations when she started coming back because Ronnie and I felt she should’ve been the one to initiate the conversation and explain herself.”

  “So you’re still having superficial conversations with her living there?” Caleigh asked with her brow raised.

  “Yep.”

  “Are you tempted to…” Caleigh shrugged. “You know, say what the hell?”

  Blaze stared at the table as she thought for a moment. “I’m not sure I want to know what she has to say. I don’t know if she’ll tell me something that’ll knock the lid off my internal drum where all my feelings about what she did are stored.”

  “Did you let her stay because you pitied her?” Caleigh asked gently.

  “I did feel pity for her because she looked so vulnerable.” Blaze inhaled sharply and shook her head. “I started dating a woman not long after the bunny incident, and my feelings were really raw then about that. After I got my furry ass handed to me, people around here said I attacked those two women and ruined Easter. One woman—I went to school with her, came into the store and said I made her kids think they’d get beatings instead of Easter baskets. Nobody bothered to watch the full video, they just saw the clip on the news that made me look like a dangerous…bunny. Anyway, I vented a lot to Kim when we were dating. She dumped me because it was all I talked about. I don’t want to make that same mistake with you and talk about Chantal too much.”

  “You’ll probably change your mind about that when I whine about the stresses of my new job a lot,” Caleigh said with a laugh.

  “I’m a good listener, bunnies have really big ears.”

  “If you still have that costume, you should wear it for Halloween.” Caleigh held up her hand and made it look like a claw. “You’ve inspired me to make a Santa Claws costume. It’ll be like Freddy Krueger meets Alien. I’ll have dagger claws and an alien head sticking out of my jolly belly. Oh, and I could—” She stared at the huge waffle Andrea set in front of Blaze. It was served on a platter to make room for two whipped cream bunny ears. The face was also made of cream and strawberries, and the bunny was sporting a bacon bowtie.

  “
This is my usual, thanks to Andrea’s sense of humor,” Blaze said with a grin.

  Chapter 7

  “No, I did not request a bunny waffle. Andrea started that after she got to know me,” Blaze said as she and Caleigh lazily walked back to the store.

  “That was hilarious.”

  Blaze smiled. “Yeah, I could tell you were trying not to laugh when you first saw it. I assume you enjoyed your waffle with all the moaning and groaning coming from your side of the table.”

  “I can never have a waffle anywhere else. I know I’ll be disappointed. When do you wanna put on your tail and tear up my shoeboxes?” Caleigh asked with a laugh.

  “How about tomorrow night?”

  “Absolutely,” Caleigh said happily. “May I have your phone number?”

  Blaze stopped in her tracks and pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. “Let’s trade.”

  After they exchanged numbers, Caleigh asked, “Hey, how come you blew me off when I asked if you were gay yesterday?”

  Blaze narrowed her eyes as she thought. “I don’t remember you doing that.”

  “I asked you if we were family when we were looking at the photo album.”

  Blaze thought for a moment, and her eyes widened. “How would I have understood you were asking me if I was gay with that?”

  “You have to know the reference. We even have a song, We Are Family, by Sister Sledge, though they probably didn’t mean it that way, but we lesbian and gay peeps adopted it.”

  “Oh!” Blaze exclaimed. “We were looking at a photo album and talking about coming in the store with family.” She sucked her teeth. “Oh, yeah, I missed that one. I didn’t realize we were related until Carey told me.”

  “How does Carey know, and who is she?” Caleigh asked, thinking she’d heard that name before.

  “She’s my best friend, and she works with your grandpa. He told her about you.”

  Caleigh stabbed a finger at Blaze. “Yeah. She’s the one who showed him the bunny videos. That’s how I knew they existed. That topic came up when we were talking about the store.”

  “Other stuff will come up too. Please let me tell my version of the stories you hear before you draw conclusions.”

  “Bunny has been bad?” Caleigh asked with a grin as her right eyebrow rose.

  “She did make Santa’s naughty list a few years in a row when she was younger...as I kinda touched on earlier. I should’ve handled some things better after the bunny incident too,” Blaze said and started walking again.

  “We’re gonna have to compare antics,” Caleigh said as she strolled alongside Blaze. “If my sisters ever come into town, they would take great pleasure in telling you about the things I’ve done. I’ll go ahead and tell you the most popular. I think I was about six or seven, and my sisters were supposed to be babysitting me while our parents were out. They barricaded me in my room, so they could go outside and hang with their friends without me tagging along. I escaped and found my dad’s hair trimmer. The result wasn’t intended but was highly effective. Nothing made a better statement of their neglect than a six-year-old showing up at the dinner table with no eyebrows and a naked Chihuahua tucked under her arm.”

  *******

  When Caleigh arrived at her grandparents’ house for dinner, she handed Edie a gift bag. “I went shopping today, and on my way home I spotted a little store I’ve never noticed. It was full of unique gifts and when I saw this, I had to get it for y’all.”

  Edie smiled until she pulled a ceramic pink pig from the bag. “What’re you trying to tell me, Caleigh?”

  “I’m expressing my love for you by presenting you with a pig that shoots toothpicks out of its butt when you turn the tail.”

  “Ha! I love it,” Dean exclaimed from where he sat at the table. He set his newspaper aside and held out his hand. “Let me see that.”

  Edie handed the pig to Dean and gave Caleigh a hug. “Thank you for the gift. Did you have a nice time on your shopping trip?”

  “I did. I got a lot of things for the house and decorated. You’re gonna have to come over and see it all.” Caleigh watched Edie as she checked the chicken she was baking. “I also found out why Blaze responded to you the way she did when you tried to talk to her.”

  “And?” Edie gave Caleigh her full attention.

  “Blaze heard you tell her grandmother that she should send her to reform school,” Caleigh said.

  Edie looked stunned. “I don’t remember saying that.”

  “You used to say it all the time to Mom and Dad about me.”

  “I was joking, and if I said that to Iona, I was joking then, too.” Edie stared at Caleigh in shock. “She really thought I was serious?”

  Caleigh nodded. “She was a kid going through a rough time, but she said she owes you an apology.”

  “That’s as bad as me making Carey think our baby is a slut,” Dean said as he shot a toothpick out of the pig’s butt onto the table.

  “What?” Caleigh exclaimed.

  Dean held up a hand. “Calm down, we got it all straightened out. She doesn’t think that anymore.”

  “How did you make her think that?” Caleigh took the pig from Dean when he continued to play with it.

  “I was telling her you were like one of those wily bastards who used to show up here to take your aunts on a date. You did admit you were like a sailor with a woman in every port when you told us about the acquaintances. Clear something up for us. Were those acquaintances booty calls?”

  Caleigh stared at Dean for a moment, then turned to Edie. “So getting back to Blaze. Now that you know—”

  “Take note, Edie. She ignored the question, so the answer is yes.” Dean snatched the pig from Caleigh’s hand. “I should’ve had the respecting women talk with you like I had with your dad. You wily…shit.”

  “I do respect women. I don’t lie for sex. My very few acquaintances knew exactly what my intentions were because we discussed it. We were…basically dating but knew we wouldn’t be able to have a relationship.”

  “To clarify, what you just described was a booty call with dinner.” Dean aimed the pig’s butt at Caleigh and was about to pull the tail.

  “Dean, if you don’t quit interrupting us, that pig is gonna be your dinner,” Edie warned. “Now, Caleigh, what were you gonna ask?”

  “Will you forgive Blaze, and maybe y’all could talk?”

  “She’s forgiven, and yes, I’d love to talk to her,” Edie said.

  “So you’re good with me going out with her? Please, say yes because I really want to.” Caleigh danced around. “Please, please, please.”

  “What’s your motivation for wanting to go out with her? Is it just for a good time?” Dean asked.

  “Gramp, seriously? I like Blaze. I want to get to know her, and if I continue to like her, then we might end up in a relationship. I have to date her first.” Caleigh sighed. “Is that okay?”

  “Fine with me and Picky the Pig.”

  “No, I don’t have a problem with you dating Blaze if you’ll do the please, please dance again. That brought back memories,” Edie said with a laugh.

  “Don’t be a wily shit and tell her something like one of your ovaries will fall out just to get her into the sack.”

  “Dean Breaux!” Edie exclaimed. “We’re trying to have a serious conversation!” She pressed her hand to her cheek. “I just wish I could claim you were taking that sleeping medicine Carey talked about, so I could blame what comes out of your mouth on that.”

  *******

  When Blaze got home that evening, she heard Ronnie crying as she walked into her kitchen. She rushed into the living room where Ronnie sat next to Chantal with her face buried in her hands. Chantal was rubbing her back.

  “What’s going on?” Blaze asked. “Ronnie! What is it?”

  Ronnie babbled through her tears, and nothing she said was coherent.

  “Ronnie! Stop speaking in whatever language that is, and tell me what’s wrong!” Blaze demanded,
frightened by Ronnie’s emotional state. “Is it something with the kids?”

  “Ronnie is entering into menopause,” Chantal explained calmly.

  Blaze shook her head with a frown. “She’s too young for that.”

  “I’m not even forty-two,” Ronnie wailed.

  “For some women, it comes quite early. It did for me, and often daughters will go through it like their mothers did,” Chantal said and continued rubbing Ronnie’s back.

  “What?” Blaze stared at Chantal in horror and started pacing. “Ronnie, did a doctor tell you that’s what you have?”

  “It’s not something you catch like a cold,” Ronnie blubbered.

  Blaze kept pacing. “You know what I mean.”

  “She’s having hot flashes, mood swings, irregular periods, fatigue, she’s gained some weight.” Chantal grimaced when Ronnie released a wail. “Those are many of the symptoms I experienced when I began to go through menopause. They’re quite common. I did advise her to see her gynecologist, though.”

  “I can’t remember anything,” Ronnie cried. “I feel like I have a big pillow in my head where my brain used to be, and I have anxiety. I thought it was dementia or a brain tumor.”

  “It’ll get better,” Chantal assured Ronnie and stroked her hair.

  “I don’t…I don’t know.” Blaze walked in tight circles with her hands on her hips. “Ronnie, you have to go see a doctor tomorrow and find out if what you have really is menopause. You really could have a brain tumor.”

  “Blaze,” Chantal began firmly, “that’s not the kind of thing she needs to hear right now. I am not a doctor, even though I had a very small part as one in a movie at the start of my career. I feel very certain, however, that Ronnie is in the beginning stages of menopause.”