“You could be while I’m here,” he offered. He gently closed her mouth, using his finger under her chin. “Careful, you’ll catch flies.”
“I. . .you. . .we can’t.”
“Think about it,” he told her. “I’m laying a lot on you and it’s not really fair when you’re sick and vulnerable so I’m going to back off now. But I do believe you’re a Little, sweet pea. And I could show you what you need. I could be your guide into this world while I’m looking after you.”
“I haven’t agreed to that.”
“But you’re going to, aren’t you? Truth is, you’d be helping me out too.”
“I would?”
“Yeah, baby. Taking care of you would be a distraction and I really need one of those right now.”
“But you should spend all your time with your nan.”
“Watching her lying in that bed, slowly dying, it’s not what she would want. I’m a man of action. I want to do something. To fix her. I feel helpless. It’s not a good feeling for me. Taking care of you would give me something else to focus on. To feel like I’m doing something. You would be helping me.”
Shoot. When he put it like that, how could she refuse him?
She couldn’t. And truth was, she could use some help. That was more than obvious. This other Daddy Dom stuff though. . .
“All right,” she whispered. “I guess I will need some help when I’m discharged, if you really want to help me. . .”
“I do,” he said firmly.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you, baby,” he told her, like she was the one doing him a favor. Maybe he really did need a distraction. She knew how hard it was on her, sitting by Penny’s bed, watching her deteriorate before her eyes. How much worse was it for him?
“But the daddy stuff, I don’t know. . .” Part of her wanted it desperately. But she held back out of a sense of self-preservation. Opening up to him, letting him in, she’d be vulnerable. She already was, but this would be on a whole other level and she just wasn’t sure she could bear to do it.
“Think about it,” he told her. “No pressure. I don’t want you agreeing to anything that makes you uncomfortable. And right now, you need to concentrate on getting better. Just so you know, my Daddy Dom instincts might kick in sometimes with you. You bring out my protective instinct. You can tell me to rein it in or you can go with it. The power is in your hands until you give it to me. But always remember, it’s a gift. Not something that can be wrested away from you, understand?”
Tears welled at his words. So much had been taken from her over the years. His words were perfect. And she almost agreed then and there but she should stop and think about this.
“I just want to make sure you’re well and taken care of before I return home.”
That felt like a bucket of icy water over her. He wasn’t staying. Of course, he wasn’t. But wasn’t that perfect? She could explore things with him without worrying over the future. Except, what happened when her heart got involved?
“It’s okay, sweet pea. Stop worrying. You don’t have to decide anything right now.” He ran his thumb over the back of her hand again. He was so warm. So strong. She bet no one ever got the best of him. Scared him. Intimidated him. How amazing would it be to have his protection all the time?
“We need to have a chat about your health. I did a bit of research while you were asleep. I have more of an idea of what Lupus is now. Both you and the nurse said this is a flare-up. I read that you can go into remission where you have no symptoms, but flare-ups can be triggered by things like stress?”
“Um, yes. Usually my flare-ups are due to stress, too much time in the sun and when I’m rundown or ill.”
“So this happened because of what I did?” His guilt was clear but she couldn’t let him think that.
“No, I mean, I was already stressed with everything with Penny. I haven’t been sleeping well. And with visiting her each day and worrying over her and my future. . .it wasn’t just what happened yesterday.”
He frowned at that. “You’ve been visiting every day?”
Okay. She thought that was an odd thing for him to focus on.
“Yes, of course.”
“How do you get to the hospice? Have you been driving Nan’s car?”
“Ah, no. I take the bus.”
“A bus goes there?” he asked.
“Well, a couple of buses. And a bit of a walk.”
He rubbed his hand down his face. “How long does that take you?”
“About two hours.”
“Each way?” He gaped at her.
“Y-yes.”
“Jesus, baby. And you’ve done that every day?”
“Of course. I had to go see her. She never really had other visitors.”
“Too much to ask the old man to visit,” he said bitterly. “And you have to avoid too much sunlight, right?”
“Yes, normally I’d try to take the earliest bus possible. I always wear a hat and then I’d take the latest bus home that I could.”
“Baby, you’ve got to be exhausted.”
“I rested while I was with her.”
He gave her a skeptical look. “And food? Have you been eating properly? Did you usually take something to eat with you?”
She gave him a guilty look before trying to hide it.
“Right,” was all he said. She peeked up to see he didn’t look happy and her stomach dropped.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why is that, baby?”
“I. . .well. . .you’re unhappy with me.”
“I’m not happy you haven’t been looking after yourself. That’s going to change now. You’ll be eating better and getting plenty of rest. Your leg bled a lot. Is that because of the Lupus too?”
She frowned slightly. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay, we need to ask the doctor that. You see a specialist about your condition?”
“Um, yes. A rheumatologist.”
“You might need another appointment with him. We’ll ask the doctor that as well.” He looked up as a nurse bustled in.
“Hello there, Georgina. How are you feeling?” she asked cheerfully.
Gigi forced herself to smile. “I’m feeling all right.”
“She keeps wincing as though she’s in pain,” Macca spoke up. “And she’s only had a few sips of water and hasn’t mentioned needing to go to the bathroom.” He sent her a stern look as she went bright red. What was he doing? “Has her fever dropped? What about the bleeding on her leg?”
The nurse just blinked at him.
“I’m her guardian,” he told her.
Guardian? Seriously? She turned to give him a narrow-eyed glare. He just stared back at her calmly. She sighed.
“Are you in pain, Georgina?” the nurse asked in a kinder voice than before.
“My head hurts and so does my foot,” she admitted. “Actually, my whole body hurts.”
“Your joints are aching?” the nurse asked.
“Yeah.”
“That’s common with a flare-up?” he asked.
“Yes, unfortunately,” Gigi answered his question.
“Okay, let’s see if we can get you some pain relief. Let me just check your date of birth and address?”
Gigi rattled them off, aware that she’d just proven to Macca that she’d been lying before about her age. But twenty-one wasn’t far off twenty-five, right?
Besides, she didn’t feel twenty-one. Most twenty-one-year-olds hadn’t been through a tenth of what she had. Penny called her an old soul. She definitely felt like she’d lived several lives.
The nurse took her temperature and blood pressure. “Both are a little high, but we’re monitoring her,” the nurse said to Macca. She turned back to Gigi. “Do you need the bathroom?”
Gigi nodded, wishing Macca wasn’t sitting right next to her.
“I’ll go and get you a bedpan.”
“Um, no, I can make it to the bathroom.”
The nurse frowned. “You�
�re still very weak. I don’t think that would be a very good idea. And the doctor wants you off your sprained ankle for a few days.”
“I’ll take her,” Macca told the nurse.
The other woman looked Macca over. “You’ll need to make certain she doesn’t fall and hurt herself.”
A buzzer sounded. “I’ve got to go see to that. The doctor will be in shortly. Buzz if you need anything.”
Macca stood. “Come on, baby, let’s get you to the bathroom. You should have told me you needed to go.”
Right. That’s totally the conversation she wanted to have with him. He was the most gorgeous, sexy man she’d ever met. Telling him she had to pee wasn’t happening.
Yeah, only now, he’s going to help you to the bathroom anyway.
He already had a hold of the pole where the bag of saline was attached. “Can you hold onto this, baby?”
She blinked in confusion, but just nodded as she pushed back the scratchy bed covers. Yuck. Hospital linen.
Before she could attempt to shuffle her aching body across the bed, he slipped one arm beneath her legs and the other behind her back. He lifted her up against his chest and she yelped.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Grab the pole, sweet pea.”
She just blinked.
“Gigi, I can’t hold the pole and you.”
“Then set me down.”
He gave her an incredulous look. “So, you can fall on your feet and have the nurse scold me? I don’t think so. She’s scary.”
Okay, that was just ridiculous. Macca looked like he ate steel cornflakes for breakfast and could pound his way through a brick wall with one fist. He didn’t look the type to be scared of anyone.
But Gigi still reached out and grabbed the pole. “I could have walked.”
“Stop arguing and save your strength ‘cause you’re not winning this fight.”
She sighed. “Will I win any fights?”
“When it comes to your health and safety, probably not,” he told her with a wink. Did he have to sound so cheerful about it? “I’ll let you win the argument over what we’re having for dinner, how is that?”
“Dinner?”
“I’ll bring back something for both of us. Your choice.”
How generous of him. But she bit that reply back. Sarcasm wasn’t something she usually engaged in. And it was actually nice of him. She was just a bit grumpy and out of sorts. He walked into the bathroom. “I need to put you down. Rest your weight on your good foot and hold onto my shoulders.” He set her down on her feet in front of the toilet.
“Keep hold of me while I pull down your panties. I’ll need to bring you some clean ones.”
Before she could even react, he’d bent and grabbed hold of her knickers, dragging them down to her feet before he pressed her to sit on the toilet.
She blushed bright red. Had he really just done that?
He stood, staring down at her in concern. “Do you want me to stay in the room?”
“No.” Stay here? Was he kidding her?
“I’ll leave the door open a crack so I can hear you call out when you’re finished. Do not move from the toilet before I can help you.”
“You can’t listen to me pee!” she squeaked.
“I won’t listen to you pee. I’m listening in case you need me.” He actually grinned at her. “Baby, we all pee. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Easy for him to say!
“I have a shy bladder. I won’t be able to go if I know you can hear me.”
This time he chuckled. “A shy bladder, huh? Well, unless you’re wanting to wear a diaper, I guess I better help your bladder overcome its shyness.”
Diaper? Seriously! Sheesh.
He stood and turned on the tap. “Better?”
Not really. Now she really, really had to go. She pressed her thighs together. “Good, you can go now.” She could hear how tight her voice sounded.
If he dared to laugh. . .
But he didn’t say a word as he turned and walked out, leaving the door open by an inch. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax.
When she was finished, she stood, holding onto the handle that was attached to the wall to steady herself when the room spun. Her sore foot protested and she had to hold in a groan. Somehow, she managed to pull her panties up, aware of how this horrible hospital gown gaped at the back. No way was she calling him in to help her fix her underwear.
“Gigi? You okay in there?” Macca called out as she flushed the toilet. She limped over to the sink to wash her hands. Her foot wasn’t actually as bad as she’d thought it would be. Thank God for that at least.
“I’m fine. You can come in now.” She was staring at her pale visage in the mirror. Sheesh. She looked like shit. The rash that had developed over her cheeks and nose was in stark contrast to her pale skin.
Fuck. Shit. She hated this. Hated it.
“What are you doing? You were supposed to wait for me,” he grumbled.
“I only walked a few steps to the sink.”
He came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips as he glared at her in the mirror. “That isn’t the point. You knew you were to call out for me before moving and that you weren’t to walk at all without me. That was naughty.”
She sent him a disgruntled look and he sighed. “You need a spanking.”
She gasped as he drew her up into his arms. More due to his words than the movement. She grabbed hold of the pole as he moved.
“I do not.”
“You do. Having a hot bottom will help you remember to do as you are told.”
“Do as I’m told? Can you hear yourself?”
“I can. You were told to call out for me so that you didn’t hurt yourself. If you were my little girl, that would earn you a trip over my knee. At least once you were better.”
“I’m not yours, though.” There was more longing in her voice than she would have liked.
He didn’t say anything as he laid her on the bed and tucked her back in. She had to admit that short excursion had worn her out.
“Not unless you agree to be. Temporarily,” he tacked on.
“Not sure I’d ever agree, temporarily or not, if spankings are on the table.”
Liar.
She clenched her thighs together. Nothing stirred her like a book where the hero spanked the heroine. But the reality would be different, right?
Only one way to find out. . .
Nope. Not going there.
“A spanking can be a punishment or for pleasure. It can also be a stress reliever.”
Stress reliever? Was he serious?
“Sometimes, you need someone to keep you accountable. To guide you when you’re feeling lost. Hold you when you’re sad or in need of comfort or just need another’s touch. To protect you when you’re vulnerable. And punish you when you put yourself at risk.”
“By spanking?”
“It’s effective. Imagine me pulling your panties down, placing you over my knee, lifting your gown up to reveal your bare bottom. You might wriggle your legs, cry out a little, protest, but I’d hold you steady, maybe I’d need to hold your hands against the small of your back in order to stop you reaching back and getting in the way of your punishment. Then I’d start smacking that bottom. Maybe lightly at first then harder. Until your bottom turned pink then red. Until you were crying. Until you said you were sorry and begged me to stop. Then I’d turn you over and hold you tight, rocking you, telling you all was forgiven and that you were my good little girl.”
Those words. . .holy fuck. . .they painted a picture that she had to admit she wanted entirely too much. This wasn’t right. He was talking about hurting her. . .and she desperately wanted to experience it.
The door opening caught her attention before she could reply to him. Just as well since she’d no idea what the heck she’d been going to say.
That’s terrible.
You’ll never do that to me.
Touch me and die.
Don’t touch me and I will die.
Do it now.
Shit. She was messed up, right? Or maybe not, since other people liked this sort of stuff. So, she couldn’t be that weird.
Oh hell.
* * *
He didn’t want to leave her.
He had to force himself to walk out of the room, after giving her a soft kiss on the forehead and an admonishment to behave. He knew he’d worry about her the entire time. But her nurse had promised to look after her, and not let her walk anywhere on her own. The doctor had reiterated that he didn’t want her to walk on her injured foot for a couple of days.
The heat of the sun beat down on him. He quickly climbed in his car, and turned on the air, blasting it on his face. But it did nothing to cool his insides.
He wanted her.
But he’d already pushed far enough. She wanted to submit, but she was holding herself back. He got it. She didn’t know him. She’d never done this. She was sick and vulnerable.
He groaned. “Jesus, man.” He should have just taken care of her like his nan wanted without bringing up her Little.
He was lucky she hadn’t kicked him out of her hospital room.
“Fuck, way to try to bulldoze her, man.” He was still off-center. And his desire to look after her combined with his guilt was making him far too possessive. He needed to get a move on if he was going to visit his grandmother, go back to her place and get some of Gigi’s stuff for her then grab some dinner and bring it back.
And still, he didn’t want to leave.
“She’s in safe hands.” But they weren’t his hands and that was the whole point. Nobody could take care of her like him.
He drove away from the hospital. Lupus was a serious disease and he was really worried about her. Her own body was essentially attacking itself. She was supposed to be under regular care of a rheumatologist, but she’d admitted to missing her last appointment. He tightened his hands around the steering wheel. That was unacceptable. He’d seen that same look on the doctor’s face in the hospital. Disapproval. She’d bitten her lip nervously, flicking her gaze back and forth between them as she’d confessed that.
That wouldn’t be happening again.
The doctor wanted her to be monitored for at least a few more days while they kept an eye on her kidney function. And once she went home, he had emphasized that she would need rest and to remain as stress free as possible.
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