by Marie James
“I didn’t bring my purse.” Nothing like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on this moment. “No condom.”
I lick my thumb and shift my weight off of the bed. “I’ll go get some,” I say reaching down for my sweats and trying to figure out how to convince the lady at the CVS drive-thru to let me buy rubbers without going inside, for the sake of decency of course.
“No condom,” she says again reaching for me.
“Baby, just hold tight. Fifteen minutes max. I’ll get the jumbo box; we’re going to need it.”
Her grip on my arm doesn’t loosen, forcing me to look back at her rather than rip myself from her grasp. Her fingers trail seductively down her stomach and circle around her wet entrance. “No condom,” she repeats for the third time as she slowly draws her tongue across her top teeth.
I drop the sweats in my hand. “Do you mean…?” She slowly nods and bites her lip.
I practically jump on the bed. “Having my baby doesn’t scare you?” Surprisingly it doesn’t scare me either. I can’t be one hundred percent sure this is how I actually feel, or if the sex fog is so thick it’s clouding my judgment.
She grins up at me as if I’ve said another stupid thing. “It means I’m on birth control, and I’m taking a gamble that you don’t have STDs.”
I swipe my thumb back over her clit, her moans causing goose flesh to race down my spine. “I’ll take what I can get.”
“Like this,” she says pushing on my chest until I’m sitting up with my back against the headboard. “Let me take care of you.”
I flex my thighs when she straddles me and takes my cock in her hand. Our breaths mingle as she rests her forehead against mine. Two pairs of eyes focus on our imminent connection. Hers flutter closed as my crest disappears inside of her. The first hot inch of her core wraps around me. I feel my eyes grow heavy, but they remain glued to where our bodies are joining.
I wrap my arms up her back and hold on to the tops of her shoulders as she slowly sinks down on me. I hate knowing I’m not the only one to be inside of her bare, but the realization that she’s my first is overwhelming. I realize, if I have any control over my destiny, that this is the very last woman I will ever slide into. That knowledge is beyond powerful, and not one single piece of fear comes with the realization that she’s it for me. I only regret that I didn’t find her sooner.
Chapter 40
Lexi
“I can’t believe how much I missed you,” I whisper against Kegan’s chest. The slow graze of his fingers up my spine set my nerve endings on fire.
We’ve been in this bed for hours showing each other with our bodies what our hearts feel.
“It can’t possibly be more than I missed you,” he says with assuredness. “For the first time in my life, I want to spend every second of every day with one person, almost like nothing else matters. That should scare the shit out of me, but I only feel… calm.” His body shifts until he can meet my eyes. “How did you become my everything?” he implores.
I cup his cheek with my hand and nuzzle my nose against his neck. “You’ve got it bad, Cole. Are you sure you don’t want to have your head evaluated?”
“I’m serious, Lexi. I don’t want to spend another night away from you. I don’t want to wake up wondering where you are or what your heart is feeling. I want you with me, in our bed.” He swallows hard and shifts his weight between my legs. He’s already grown hard again, an amazing feat considering how many times we’ve already made love this evening. “Move in with me?”
I shake my head, and his face falls. “I’m not giving up my house, Kegan.”
“I need to be where you are.” His eyes search mine, begging me to change my mind.
“Sounds like you’re moving into my place then.”
He scoffs and backs away slightly. “Live off a woman? My ego and manliness can’t take another hit without being called into questions.”
“Don’t get all alpha male on me. And you sure as hell won’t be living off of me. You’re going to pay half of the bills. And do the yard work. And maintain the property. All sorts of manly things to help with that overinflated ego of yours.”
His body relaxes.
“We can try it out,” I offer. “You can come stay for a while and see if it works out.”
“Is there any way I can convince you to move in here?”
I shake my head.
“Then my condo is gone. I won’t keep it a minute longer. As far as your ‘see if it works,’ that’s not even an option. Not working out isn’t in my vocabulary, Lexi, and you need to remove it from yours, too.”
His insistence is heartfelt, and I can’t help but smile up at him. “So you’re moving in?”
“I’m moving in,” he whispers against my mouth. “But first I need to move into something else.”
I moan when his hips thrust forward, and he penetrates me fully. “I love your cock.”
“My cock loves you.”
Those are the last words spoken for several more hours.
“I don’t get why it’s such a damn big deal,” Kegan says crossing his arms over his chest and pouting like a petulant child.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and give myself a second to calm down. Who knew moving in together was going to be such a chore? “We’ve been over this, Kegan. You’re thirty-three years old. The air hockey table isn’t coming to my house.”
“Please?” He slides his body against mine, not caring that movers are all around us gathering boxes.
“You have to grow up at some point.”
“Baby,” he whispers, the heat of his breath causing my arousal to spike. “I’m grown where it counts.” His hips rotate against mine, and although he’s not fully erect, I can’t help but agree with him. “You know that thing I do with my tongue that you like so much?” I nod against his neck as my hands find and grip handfuls of hair. “Let me keep it and I’ll do that for hours tonight with you spread out on that air hockey table. Imagine the tickle of the air teasing your skin while my mouth does dirty things to your body.”
“Jesus,” I pant. “You drive a hard bargain.”
“Hard, being the operative word here.” Another rotation of his hips, and yep he’s fully erect now.
“You guys need a minute or are the movers going to get a free show?” Justin walks past with a chuckle. “I know you guys are into the whole voyeuristic thing, but the youngest guy on the crew walked into a wall with that expensive vase when he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.” He makes his way closer to us and whispers. “You’ll live in his spank bank for years to come.”
Kegan takes a step away, and I block his view from the others as he adjusts his jeans.
“Ma’am?” one of the workers says grabbing my attention from across the room. “The air hockey table?”
My cheeks flush immediately. “Load it up.”
I watch for several more minutes as the guys carry armfuls of boxes out to the waiting moving van.
“You sure grabbed a great one,” Justin says tilting his head to the side when Kegan squats down to pick up a box from the floor. His eyes follow his ass as he stands.
I slap him on the chest. “You’re not being very discrete.”
Hearing my words, Kegan turns back and looks at me. Justin in his perusal doesn’t have enough time to school his face before Kegan notices. His brows furrow until realization dawns in his eyes. His smirk as he walks out of the condo with the box is all knowing.
“Lucky bitch,” Justin mumbles before walking away.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kegan says a few minutes later after giving the moving crew the address for my house. “Justin really wasn’t into London after all, not in a traditional sense anyway.”
I turn on him. “He cared for her. He could have made her happy. He could make any woman happy, minus the whole sex thing.”
“I didn’t even realize,” he says running his hand over his beard.
“Not many people know.” I turn toward
him making sure he can see the seriousness in my eyes. “You can’t tell anyone, Kegan.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Not my story to tell, baby.” He walks away, and I think the conversation is over, but of course this is Kegan. He turns back and winks at me. “Tell him he has great taste in men.”
This man; what in the hell have I gotten myself into?
Epilogue
3 YEARS LATER
Kegan
Sunday dinner remains a Cole family tradition. Not much has changed in the last three years. As much as I wish I could say Anastyn’s mouthiness has improved, it hasn’t. Her vocabulary is much larger, though. I still can’t keep my hands off of Lexi. She’s gotten used to the attention around my family. If anything, it’s just par for the course. Kadin and my dad are just as attentive to their loves as I am with her. I’ve been led by a fine example.
Tonight’s dinner is even more special. As a family, we’re celebrating forty-five years of marriage for my parents. Needless to say, love is thick in the air, and it makes it even harder for any of us to keep our hands to ourselves. It’s not weird, like orgy town or anything. Keep it together; there are children present.
Easton, having fully recovered from his illness has grown incredibly fast. He’s built like a miniature linebacker, and he’s even gotten pretty good at running a few drills. So long as a grasshopper doesn’t come along and redirect his attention, he’s pretty focused on learning. I mean, as much as an almost four-year-old kid can be.
Lennox always has a book in her hand. I’m certain she gets that from her mom because Kadin is more interested in reading blue prints than anything with actual sentences on it.
I cut my eyes to nine-year-old Anastyn and watch in horror as she applies chapstick to her lips in a tiny mirror as if she’s preparing for the red carpet. Kadin is going to have his hands full with that one. She’s as beautiful as her mother, but also has the exotic red tint to her hair that Kadin had as a baby. I don’t envy him at all. Shotguns, death threats, and a possible prison sentence are in his future when she’s old enough to date.
Lexi shifting beside me in her seat pulls me from admiring my brother’s family. “I told you,” I hiss in her ear. “If you keep wiggling like that, I’m going to take you into the bathroom and fuck you against the door.”
She glares back at me. “I told you to let me come in the truck. It’s your fault for getting me all worked up and leaving me unsatisfied.”
I huff a quick laugh. “Do I ever leave you unsatisfied, baby?”
“You may call it delayed gratification, but in my book it’s torture.”
“Go into the bathroom and take care of yourself. I can’t have you wiggling like a horny worm in front of my family. It’s embarrassing.”
Her glare grows. “I embarrass you.” She smacks me hard on the chest. “You say random shit. You,” she says jabbing a finger into my stomach. “You embarrass me daily with the shit that just pops out of your mouth.”
She’s frustrated as she pushes her chair back. The calm with which she places her cloth napkin beside her wine glass makes me fidget.
“Marry me,” I say to her retreating back.
She stiffens and her hands clench. “That’s not… funny,” she spits turning around to face me.
Her eyes suddenly tear up, and her chin begins to quiver when she finds me on one knee with a tiny velvet box in my hand.
My mom squeals and “about fucking time,” comes from my dad. Those reactions mix with London’s “Holy shit, hell has frozen over” and Kadin’s “atta boy.”
Her face softens, the anger suddenly washing away.
“Those are the best words I’ve ever heard you say,” she whispers with her hands to her chest.
I rise from my knee and walk toward her. “I thought the ‘I love you’ was pretty good.”
“Meh,” she says playfully with a shrug.
“Is that a yes?” I can read the answer in her eyes, but my heart needs the words.
“Yes,” she whispers against my mouth as I slip the solitaire on her finger.
I pull her to my chest and plant my face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, absorbing my future.
“I still need to come,” she says quietly.
I can’t get her out of that house fast enough.
“Marriage,” Lexi says looking down at the rock shining on her finger. “Are you sure?”
I crinkle my brow. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure.”
She cocks an eyebrow at me. “Okay. I wouldn’t have asked this time if I wasn’t sure.”
I lick my way up her body and grab a condom from the bedside table. I wish I could say that she allowed the ‘no condom’ thing to continue past that one night, but she didn’t. I got to spend one blissful night bare inside of the woman I love; then she crushed my heart the next day when she insisted I go back to using them.
“We have a lot to talk about, Lexi.” I kiss her lips softly but bite her lower one as I pull away. Soft and hard has always been our thing. “I’m not getting any younger.”
“Thirty –six next month,” she confirms.
“I want babies,” I confess. Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “I want you to have my babies.”
“I want that too,” she says surprising me.
“Really?” She nods with a small smile. “You’re sure?”
She wraps her legs around my hips and urges me inside of her. I groan just like I’ve done the ten million times I’ve slid inside of her over the years.
“I’m sure,” she breathes into my neck.
I pull back so I can look in her eyes. “Full disclosure,” I say not knowing how she’s going to respond. “I poked holes in all of these condoms last week.”
Her cheeks flush red, and I prepare for her to throw me and my ring across the room. “I stopped taking birth control last month,” she says with a devious smirk.
I roll my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing as I pull out of her, slip the useless condom off, and sink back in.
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