“This was when I was home a little less than a year ago to work cattle. My favorite time is the spring.”
“Do you go back often?”
“Sometimes Dawson calls and asks for help working cattle in the fall. If I can afford to fly home, I’ll do it.” He smirks at me. “Then I can use his Wi-Fi to upload all my pictures and clear up some space.”
“Do you blog or anything?”
“No.”
“A website?”
“Nope.”
Then what did he do? Query here and there and give up when he was rejected? I wanted to ask, but photos of handsome men stalled my questions. Each one had a chiseled face, dark eyes, and dark hair.
He stopped at one brooding man a little older than me. He was sitting at a table with a pretty woman by his side, but he was ignoring her and on his phone. “That’s Aiden, the uptight workaholic, and his wife, Kate.”
The picture and his description answered any questions I had. Kate’s expression and demeanor screamed that she was a kind soul, but also lonely. Aiden looked exactly like an uptight workaholic—rigid posture, pristine clothing, and a permanent scowl. He could walk into Abbot Security and even my father would think he worked there.
The next handsome man had softer features but only because he was looking at a petite woman with a pixie haircut.
“Beckett and Eva, the newlyweds.”
My heart twisted. They looked so in love. How I’d wanted to look when I’d married. But we didn’t have any photos of our impetuous, happy day.
The third man had a devil-may-care grin and a relaxed stance that matched Xander’s.
“My baby brother, Dawson.”
He was the last thing from a baby. Four good-looking men from a dad they all resembled, but out of all of them, Xander was the hottest. In my humble opinion.
As he showed off image after image of his ranch—his most obvious inspiration—I asked about the farming details, startled by how interested I was. The only data I had on farming and ranching and their effects on climate change were from books and papers. I’d learned about all the big, bad ways they hurt the environment and I’d studied a little about the attempts being made to offset and reduce the effects. Hearing it firsthand, how the Kings decided what to do on the ranch and thought about how it’d help or hurt them and the cattle and the land, was fascinating. From testing the soil to determine what minerals they needed to supplement the cattle with to what they grew for hay. Protein mattered for cattle too. Who knew? It was like learning about a foreign world for years and then someone opening the door and inviting me inside.
The analogy described my career in a nutshell. I learned about everything, but from the outside looking in. I was in this glass bubble, privileged and protected. My parents weren’t the type to take me and my sisters camping in a nature preserve. Mother wanted spas and fine dining. Chief was the uptight workaholic of our family. He went where she wanted and brought his work with him.
I’d only learned about the world, I hadn’t experienced it. Xander had.
“Researching it is different than living it,” I said.
Xander paused, his finger hovering over the arrow key, ready to bring up another picture that would prove how inexperienced I was at life. “We can change that.”
“The last impulsive thing I did ended up with us both here.”
His brow furrowed. “And that’s bad?”
I sighed and rolled to my back. “No, but I feel responsible. I want to do it right, Xander. I know that if we stay married for eleven months, some huge treasure chest will unlock and rain money down on us. But I want a plan. I want a plan A, B, and C, all the way to Z if necessary.”
“I’m not big on planning.”
I turned my head, gazing up at his hard profile. “How’s that going for you?” The muscle in his jaw jumped. “All I’m saying is that I should work for Chief, for a little while, save money. Then . . . we’ll see. Maybe you can work on that article.”
His gaze slid to his screen and the stunning sunset. Purples and reds layered across the sky, making the green of the buttes stand out like a lawn of emeralds. That land called to me. It was his home. Was it the same for him?
No, otherwise he’d be there.
Was there anywhere he could stay and be happy?
Xander
“It’s no problem,” I assured Mrs. Abbot, hating that I had to explain myself, where I was going, and how I was going to get there. I was twenty-nine damn years old. “The bus is fine.”
Mrs. Abbot feathered her fingers along her collar. From her expression, one would think the bus stop was rife with muggers and murderers. “You can use our driver. I’m working in the office all day.”
Three weeks had gone by and I still had no idea what Mrs. Abbot did for work. Savvy said she volunteered and ran the house. I only had childhood memories of my mother running our house. She’d also run the cattle, which included the tractors, the trucks, and anything else with an engine that could turn over. Mama had done chores with us, spent some time in the office to pay bills and balance the accounts, then come back out for more chores.
I had no idea what it took to volunteer or run a house that only held a wealthy couple and two of their three grown kids, but it must take all damn day.
I tried my best placating smile and edged toward the door. So close to freedom. “I like experiencing the city and I can’t do that with a driver.”
“Sapphire,” Mrs. Abbot called, her hand still on her chest. If I gave the woman a heart attack, I’d feel bad, but seriously. It was the bus. I could come and go wherever I wanted according to the bus schedule and not have a driver huffing and looking at his watch while I roamed and took some pictures. “Wait here.”
When she was out of sight, I dropped my head back, fed the hell up with Savvy’s controlling parents.
Last week, I’d used a cafe to work on that farming article I’d told Savvy about and Davis the Driver had lapped the coffee shop every fifteen minutes on the dot. I’d gotten all of one page written because by minute twelve, I was staring out the window to see if he was going to do it again. Then I’d spend another three minutes after he passed stewing about the gilded prison I’d landed myself in with my wedding vows.
I had a cell mate, but she was doing nothing to escape her bindings.
She spent her days working from home, or meeting Chief at his office, which I’d never been to. At first we’d gone for walks, even held hands a few times like shy thirteen-year-olds. She’d been back at work over a week, but she’d ignore me and bury herself in her computer. She’d even taken up working in the dry, boring library that repressed my inspiration just walking by it.
I was bored and going out of my damn mind. Opal didn’t seem to mind having me around, and Chief broke into a grin whenever he saw me—the few hours he was home a week. I couldn’t take eleven more months of this. How did Savvy live it every day?
She thought this was the best course for now, but how would she know if she didn’t try another route?
The front door opened behind me and a swirl of expensive perfume traveled on the cold air. I guessed who it was before I turned.
Em. Where Savvy was a tropical bird swinging in her cage only to be adored by approved onlookers, Em was a bird of prey, swooping down on the weak. After enduring people like Lex, I should be ready, but Em hadn’t been able to corner me alone yet.
She unwound her scarf and gazed down at me, despite being a solid six inches shorter. “So. At last I get a chance to talk to the college dropout that’s using my sister to get a free ride.”
She spoke quietly enough that no one else could hear unless they stood in the same room with us. Maybe she wasn’t so unlike Savvy after all. She, too, was afraid to rock the boat too hard.
“I see you’ve been talking to Lex.”
I must’ve passed some test. Her gaze softened, but only from cast iron to stainless steel. “My husband and Lex gossip like old ladies in the bingo hall.” She shrugg
ed out of her knee-length black coat and looked around like someone was supposed to come and take it from her. When no one did, I took the coat and hung it on a hook. I’d disappointed my dad in a lot of ways, but lacking manners wasn’t one of them.
“It’s been a month and you’re still here,” Em said. “Your family must not share their money either. You’re not holding out hope that ours will, are you?”
What would Em think if she knew it was the reverse and I planned to share? More respect, or less? “I’m not here for the money.”
Wasn’t I? I couldn’t stop the question drifting through my mind. In the last couple weeks, the only time I saw my wife was in bed, where she slept on her side and I slept on mine. She’d heaped all this pressure on herself to make her own money before we were married for a year. She didn’t go out with friends, she didn’t have time to talk to Brady anymore, and she didn’t socialize with her sisters. She’d doubled down on work since we’d looked at pictures on her bed. She was working for the present and I wanted to leave and start living our present.
Em crossed her arms, inspecting me from head to toe. “You’re sticking around for my sister?”
I wanted that to be the case. “We’re married.”
Em cocked a cool brow. “Marrying and living with the ’rents. How’s that going for you?”
I’d never had to answer to anyone like I had in the last month.
Before I could answer, Mrs. Abbot appeared from the library, Savvy trailing after her. Em smiled primly. “If you’ll excuse me.”
“Emerald!” Mrs. Abbot’s delighted greeting wiped the scowl from my face. She was letting me live with her, allowing Savvy and I to stay here and eat her food. I wasn’t going to be a pouty child at twenty-nine. Mrs. Abbot directed her grin at me. “I’ve already phoned Davis.”
I held back my sigh. I had plans today to do the work I’d told Savvy and her family that I’d been doing since I left college. I was doing research on rural family farms, corporate farming, and what kind of publications would be interested in an article comparing them to any other country’s. Then I had to write the damn article. Edit my photos. And just . . . work.
I’d grudgingly admit that having a driver would help me do that. But it was stifling. This town was stifling. This house was stifling. The people in it too . . . my wife included. Mrs. Abbot had recruited her to do just that. Would she go for it?
I looked from Mrs. Abbot to my wife. Her shoulders were tight, and stress pinched her eyes. Chief was a harsh taskmaster and even though Savvy worked mostly from home, she put in long hours.
I was whining about roaming the city during the day and working at my own pace. Still, I had to try to regain my freedom. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m taking the bus.”
Savvy chewed on her lip. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Mom. He’s taken buses all over the world.”
“But this is a big city.”
I focused on Savvy again. She met my gaze and an apologetic smile flickered. Mrs. Abbot thought this was a simple request, asking her to talk me into taking the driver, but it only added more pressure on Savvy. She needed a break. “Would you like to come with?”
Savvy blinked at me. “Aren’t you working?”
“Yes,” Mrs. Abbot chimed in. “Davis can take both of you.”
Dammit. If she was trying to block me from public transportation, she’d probably stroke out if Savvy took it. I’d have to roll with it. “Pack your laptop. We can go together.”
“Chief doesn’t want me using public Wi-Fi.”
Em sidled past us. She shot a disappointed look at Savvy and a knowing one at me.
Savvy noticed and straightened. “But I’ll figure something out.”
Mrs. Abbot’s smile was serene. She’d gotten her way. “I won’t need Davis’s services today so take as much time as you need.”
As much as I appreciated her looking out for me, and the pang of longing a concerned mother figure inspired inside me, I didn’t need her permission. If Dad could see this, he wouldn’t believe I was the same kid he’d told a hundred times to quit standing on his horse’s back while out riding. The same kid who’d ridden off whenever he wanted and been gone for hours.
I had to use a driver now.
“I’ll grab my coat,” said Savvy.
She wouldn’t need much this time of year. Winter was giving way to spring and we were in a city covered in buildings. I had a shirt under my flannel and my jacket wadded up in my backpack. My camera was slung around my shoulder.
Savvy got her jacket out of the closet. I held a hand out to help her shrug into it, but she didn’t see as she twirled it around to put her arms in. I hooked my fingers in the laptop bag’s strap across my chest but that didn’t make me look less awkward. I didn’t dare glance at Savvy’s sister in case she was silently laughing at us.
Savvy zipped her coat. “I’ll grab my computer and be right back.”
“How lovely,” Mrs. Abbot said as Savvy scurried away. “Where are you going?”
“A coffee shop, probably.”
Mrs. Abbot lifted a manicured brow, waiting for specifics. I had none. I changed it up each day. I had a feeling Mrs. Abbot wouldn’t understand.
Savvy came down the hall.
“Well, you two have fun.” Mrs. Abbot led Em the way Savvy had come.
An engine idled outside. Davis. Our ride.
Savvy stopped in front of me. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I have a lot of work to do, and I don’t want to interfere with yours.”
I thought about how the last several minutes had gone. And how uncomfortable our afternoon would be if we kept up like this. Two adults, leaving on a chaperoned trip.
“What do you say we ditch Davis, find a nice place to get some work done, and then fuck our work and have some fun?”
Her eyes flared. She mouthed fuck our work and peered down the hall where her mom and sister had disappeared. Her wide eyes turned to me, but instead of being scandalized, they were filled with mounting excitement. “Why do I feel like I’m skipping school?”
A slow grin spread across my face. “Ready to sneak out together?”
Chapter 10
Savvy
I tried to decipher the rail map, but it was a mass of rainbow lines. We’d been in and around the city, then we’d taken to riding the metro all over.
Xander leaned in, his hot breath tickling my ear. “You’re so lost.”
I giggled and traced my finger along the map kiosk at the station. “Correction. We’re so lost.”
“Why don’t we find a place to eat while we figure out how to make it back home?”
I shot him an accusatory glare. “You could get back, couldn’t you?”
His grin was unrepentant and chased away the chill, infusing my body with warmth, reminding me how my favorite part of the day was waking up with him in bed next to me. How I wished I could roll over and wiggle into his embrace.
But as each day passed, the space between us grew further and further until an emotional chasm separated us, one so expansive I didn’t know how to cross it. So I kept working. It was what I knew. Work for my parents, prove myself, then try to be brave again and try not to fail. Again.
This day was what I needed. What both of us needed. We’d worked at a coffee shop after Xander had somehow talked Davis into leaving us alone the rest of the day. After a few hours, he’d asked if I’d ever taken the bus.
And there we were.
“I could, but this is more fun.”
“Watching me get lost?”
His grin widened and I turned back to the map, a smile dancing over my lips. This was fun.
My stomach rumbled. We hadn’t grabbed more than a drink and a snack between rides. I pressed my hand to my belly to keep it quiet.
“You’re hungry. Come on.”
“Shouldn’t we get back?” I wasn’t sure where back was, and I was in charge of figuring that out. I didn’t even know where I was now.
Wow, I’d lived a sh
eltered life.
“We don’t have a curfew,” he said.
I sighed and rested my hip against the kiosk. “It’s bad, isn’t it, the way Mother insists on Davis driving you everywhere.”
The humor faded from his face. “It isn’t good.” He crowded closer to me until I tilted my head back. Was he going to kiss me?
Lowering his head until our lips touched, he kept the kiss light until I was ready to go out of my mind. More, dammit. Give me more. I’d been craving this, only to starve without it each day.
He continued teasing me. Then he pulled back, his gaze sweeping over my face.
My lips formed a troubled line. He didn’t want to kiss me as badly as I wanted him to.
“You look disappointed,” he said.
“I am,” I admitted.
He leaned in again and pressed his lips along my jawline once, twice, until he reached my ear. His hot breath tickled my ear and sent shivers exploding over my body, but it didn’t help the confusion clogging my brain. “That’s only a taste of what going to bed next to you and not touching you is like. I’ve been hard as a fucking rock every day since we first met. I want you, Savvy. That hasn’t changed. Ever.”
My breath hitched. That’s what it was like with him when we were on our own. Fun. Light. He was an assault to my senses. A delectable dessert I hadn’t been able to indulge in.
“I feel the same,” I confessed.
“What are you going to do about it?”
I licked my lips and his eyes tracked my tongue. I clenched his flannel, unable to believe what I was going to say. “Is there a hotel nearby?”
He cocked his head like he hadn’t heard me correctly. “A . . . yeah. I’m sure, but—”
“No ‘buts.’ You gave me a taste of life today and I don’t want it to stop. We both want the same thing, so let’s do this.” Do it now, before all the reasons why we shouldn’t jump into bed again could stop me. Before I wondered if he just wanted to get laid while suffering through Mother’s smothering.
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