by Deborah Hale
As Jasper knelt to put his arms around his daughters, Owen announced, “She’s gone, Papa.”
Matthew found his voice too. “She said it might not be for long, but she took all her things away with her. She wouldn’t do that if she meant to come back, would she?”
Jasper did not have to ask which she they meant. Part of him had known before the children even spoke.
Alfie lost his battle to keep up a brave front.
“I don’t want to have the concert without M-Miss Fairfax!” he wailed.
“Neither do I.” Owen shook his head. “I couldn’t sing or recite because I have a big lump in my throat.”
“I have one, too,” said Matthew. “I wonder what it is and why it comes when I feel saddest?”
Jasper did not know what to tell his son. That same lump of misery had been lodged in his throat ever since he’d marched out of the nursery that morning. He wasn’t sure it would ever go away.
He gathered all the children close to him and tried to comfort them as best he could. Soon they were all weeping, even Owen, in a way that rent his heart. He cast a questioning, reproachful glance at Abigail Brookes.
“I’m sorry!” she cried. “Miss Fairfax made us promise not to tell you. She left a few hours ago. She didn’t say where she was going.”
“She went in Mr. Webster’s carriage,” Verity volunteered with a hesitant air, as if she feared she would get in trouble for speaking.
Piers Webster’s carriage? Urgent questions seared away Jasper’s shock and sorrow. “I agree we should postpone our concert under the circumstances. Now, I need your help, my dears. Will you do something for me?”
The children looked at him with tear-streaked faces that made his heart ache. But every one of them nodded bravely.
“Dry your eyes and go along with Miss Brookes and Mrs. Dawson. Have your tea early then get ready for bed.”
“But why, Papa?” asked Matthew.
“I’ll explain later.” Jasper kissed each of them on the forehead. “For now just trust me and do as I ask. I will be back later to hear your prayers and tuck you in.”
Alfie swiped at his brimming eyes with the back of his hand and announced fiercely, “I know what I shall pray for.”
“So shall I.” Jasper ruffled his son’s hair. “So shall we all.”
He watched them go off with the ladies then he stalked down to the great parlor where he found the Websters, the Levesons, his mother-in-law and Norton Brookes.
Jasper marched up to Piers Webster and demanded, “Who gave you the right to meddle in my life?”
“I beg your pardon?” Webster had the gall to look bewildered by his question.
“What has Father done, Mr. Chase?” As Margaret Webster approached them, the others discretely withdrew from the room.
“I have done nothing that concerns him or you,” Mr. Webster protested to his daughter.
“Are you saying Evangeline Fairfax stole your carriage to leave Amberwood?” Jasper thundered.
“Nothing of the kind.” The older man scowled as if gravely offended. “The lady asked for my assistance and I was happy to oblige her. If you have a conscience, you would have done the same two years ago.”
Jasper flinched. Was it so wrong to want to keep Evangeline here with him and his children when other children might need her even more? Ever since their encounter that morning, he had not been able to stop thinking about what she’d said and the impossible challenge she had set him. He had begun to glimpse a possible compromise, but now the chance to work things out was gone with her.
“Perhaps I should have.” He acknowledged his wrong and lifted a silent plea for forgiveness. “But something tells me it was more than selfless charity that made you pack Miss Fairfax off to who-knows-where without my knowledge.”
Guilt blazed on Piers Webster’s broad features. “What does it matter that she’s gone? You and Margaret can engage a new governess for the children. If you have any sense, you will hire one who’s older and not so pretty.”
“Father,” Margaret Webster spoke in a quiet yet ominous tone. “What have you done? And why should I have anything to do with hiring a governess for Mr. Chase’s children?”
“You know... when the two of you are... married. He would have proposed by now if he hadn’t been distracted by that Miss Fairfax. Not that she wanted it, mind you. The lady did her best to bring about a match between the two of you.” Mr. Webster turned toward Jasper. “Now that she is gone, the least you can do is honor her wishes by proposing to my daughter.”
Jasper cast Margaret Webster an apologetic look. Poor lady, caught in the middle of all this. He had given far too little thought to her feelings. Perhaps, for the sake of peace, he ought to give in and do what everyone else seemed to expect of him.
Should he try to forget Evangeline Fairfax and ask Margaret Webster to marry him instead?
Chapter Sixteen
SEATED IN THE library of Nethercross, Evangeline leaned forward and gave Lady Steadwell’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “I do hope you and your husband can forgive me for appearing on your doorstep without a word of warning. It was kind of you to make me so welcome, under the circumstances.”
“Tosh.” Grace chuckled as she drew back and began to pour them tea. “It was a lovely surprise. I wish our other friends would drop in on me like this, but it is not so easy now that we all have families to consider. That is one selfish reason I will be so pleased to get our school up and running, so we can all get together for regular meetings of the trustees.”
“Ah, yes—the school.” Evangeline pulled a wry face. Seeing Grace again after so many years brought their school days much closer and made her feel guiltier than ever about how she had neglected her duty. “I cannot tell you how sorry I am for taking so long to get started. When I think if those poor children at Pendergast, sick and dying, I wonder if I can ever forgive myself.”
“That was not your fault,” said Grace in the reassuring way Evangeline remembered so well. “I hope my letter did not make it sound as if I blamed you.”
She passed Evangeline a steaming cup of tea. “I did not mean to drag you away from the Chases. I only wondered—well, we all did—whether you might have changed your mind about wanting to run the school. We worried you might think you’d be letting us down, but of course you wouldn’t. We wanted to give you an excuse to change your mind if you were so inclined.”
She fixed Evangeline with her perceptive gaze, which had a way of always getting at the truth. “Are you so inclined? Believe me, none of us will think any less of you for it.”
“I want to do this.” Evangeline strove to persuade her friend of her certainty... and perhaps herself as well.
On the long journey from Amberwood, reading Grace’s last letter over and over, she had clung to Mr. Webster’s assurance that establishing the school was a matter of great urgency and importance. The sights she’d glimpsed while traveling through England’s industrial Midlands had opened her eyes to the hardship so prevalent outside the peaceful Vale of Eden. All those things had reinforced her commitment to the work she knew she was meant to do.
But even in the short time she’d been a guest at Nethercross, doubts had begun to gnaw at her resolve. Seeing how happy Grace and Lord Steadwell were in their marriage and their family made her long to experience that sweet, domestic fulfillment for herself. When she spent time with Grace’s stepdaughters and little son, she felt the loss of Emma, Matthew, Alfie, Owen and Rosie as if the five fingers of her right hand had been amputated.
“I don’t doubt that you want to.” Graces’s tone of gentle sympathy made it sound as if she understood far more of Evangeline’s situation than her friend had told her. “But is that all you want?”
It was no use trying to conceal anything from someone who seemed to know so much already. Evangeline shook her head. “I cannot deny I want more than just that. But I cannot have everything I want and since I must choose...”
“The other thing
s you want,” Grace prompted her. “Do they include the love of a husband and children? None of your friends would want you to give that up.”
Evangeline wished she could share her friend’s staunch certainty. “There is more to it than that. I feel if I give up one for the other, I would lose a part of myself.”
“Why is that?” Grace’s brow creased with a look of fond concern.
Her entreaty was too powerful for Evangeline to resist. Laying the whole complicated situation before her friend might not yield a solution, but at least it might confirm in her own mind that she had done the right thing in coming here. “Do you remember when we were at school how the teachers used to say I would never get a husband if I did not subdue my strong will and independent streak?”
Grace gave a soft chuckle that seemed to ring with a gloating note. “According to them, none of us had a chance of ever being married. Rebecca and Hannah were not pretty enough. You and Leah were too willful. I was too vain. We all knew it was nonsense when it came to the others. But for ourselves, I reckon we took those predictions more to heart. Trust me, Evangeline. They were no truer for you than for any of us.”
“Weren’t they?” She cradled her teacup in her cold hands. “I wish I could be sure.”
She told Grace about Jasper, what a strong, compassionate man he was. How he wanted a wife who would support him and agree with him in everything he did.
“And Mr. Chase cares for you?” asked Grace when Evangeline fell silent. “We thought he must, the way he kept delaying your departure. What fine work he is doing with his mill! I have heard of a philanthropist in Scotland who is doing something similar. If only there were more men of business like them. I must say, you and he sound well matched in your strength, your determination and your practical concern for those who need your help.”
“That is half the problem.” Evangeline sighed. “We were too much alike—both leaders, not followers. A marriage between us could never work out.”
“Not easily, perhaps.” Grace seemed to agree while doing exactly the opposite. “Here in the country, I have often seen how a strong team of horses or oxen can work better when harnessed side by side than when one is behind the other.”
Evangeline could not suppress a bittersweet grin at the image of her and Jasper yoked together to pull a load. “That only works when the creatures have a skilled teamster to lead them.”
“Exactly.” Grace lifted her gaze upward. “Could Our Lord not be as good a teamster as a shepherd? After all, horses are clever animals, but sheep, poor things, are so very dim-witted.”
Her friend’s words made Evangeline laugh, but they also shed a ray of sunlight into her soul. For a sweet, breathtaking instant, nothing seemed impossible.
Then she remembered how she had left Jasper’s children in tears and deserted him without even a word of farewell.
“No doubt He can.” She set down her cup with trembling hands and a heavy heart. “But it is too late for Jasper and me.”
“Are you certain?” asked Grace.
As Evangeline pondered her friend’s gentle challenge, a knock sounded on the library door.
“Yes?” Grace called.
A footman entered. “A caller to see you, miss.”
“Can they wait or come back later?” asked Grace. “I am occupied at the moment.”
The servant shook his head. “It is not you they want, my lady. It is Miss Fairfax and they have come rather a long way.”
“Mr. Chase, is it?” Grace rose, her eyes alight.
When the footman nodded, she cried, “By all means, fetch the gentleman in at once!”
Had he made a great mistake acting on impulse and coming so far to show up uninvited at Lord and Lady Steadwell’s door? As Jasper waited for their footman to summon Evangeline, doubts began to assail him. Would she view his pursuit of her as a sign that he did not respect her choice? Would she think he meant to coerce her into following his wishes? Would she be vexed with him for imposing on her friends?
He silenced those thoughts by reminding himself that he would get to see her. Even if she rejected him again, at least he would be able to say a proper goodbye.
A gentleman descended the stairs just then with two girls holding his hands. One looked a bit older than Emma, but with a dreamy air more like Rosie. The other girl Jasper guessed to be two or three years older. Her bouncy step and bright smile put him in mind of Alfie.
“Welcome to Nethercross.” The man extended his hand to Jasper. “I am Rupert Kendrick. Can I help you?”
Jasper shook the captain’s hand warmly. “My name is Jasper Chase. I’ve come from up north to see Miss Fairfax. I believe she is a guest here. One of your servants has gone to fetch her for me.”
“I see.” Lord Steadwell nodded as if he understood far more about Jasper’s errand than he had been told. “I wish you the very best, Mr. Chase. If you find yourself staying in this part of the country, I hope you will be our guest at Nethercross. Phoebe and Sophie love company, don’t you, girls?”
The girls nodded, one more vigorously than the other but both with winsome smiles that assured Jasper of a warm welcome.
“That is very kind of you, but I fear it might be more inconvenient than you realize.” Briefly, Jasper explained why.
“That is no excuse not to stay!” The older girl headed for the door. “In fact, it is a better reason why you should.”
“Phoebe!” The baron shook his head at her forwardness, which did not offend Jasper in the least. “There will be no getting away for you now, I fear, Mr. Chase.”
Jasper wanted to believe that was true. But how could he stay if Evangeline turned him down?
The footman reappeared just then, followed by a golden-haired beauty with a rather indomitable air.
“Mr. Chase!” She greeted him as if they were long and warmly acquainted. “I am Miss Fairfax’s friend, Grace. I see you have met my husband and two of our girls. Do come in and see Evangeline. We were just taking tea in the library. You will not be disturbed there. Take as long as you need.”
Without letting Jasper get a word in, she led him toward the library then practically pushed him through the door, which she shut behind him with some force.
At the sight of Evangeline rising from a narrow settee, Jasper seemed to lose his powers of speech and movement. This was his last chance and so much depended on his success or failure.
“You must excuse my friend,” she said. “I do not recall her being so bossy when we were at school. That was my role. I believe marriage has had an unfortunate effect on Grace in that regard.”
Thanking Providence for such a promising opening, Jasper forced himself toward Evangeline. “You reckon marriage has made Lady Steadwell more strong-minded? How can that be? I met her husband just now and he seemed to have a determined character as well.”
Evangeline nodded. “He is a very kind gentleman, but running such a large estate is not a task for the faint of heart.”
“Do he and his wife get on well together, in spite of it?”
“Very well indeed.” Evangeline sounded surprised as she sank back onto the settee. “Grace is not under Lord Steadwell’s thumb, nor he under hers. From everything I have seen since I arrived, they seem very happy together.”
Jasper looked around the Nethercross library and saw no chairs near enough to allow for comfortable conversation.
Casting Evangeline an apologetic glance, he took a seat beside her on the settee. “Forgive me for following you here. I could not leave matters between us as they were after our last conversation.”
“How did you know where to find me?” She regarded him warily, making Jasper wonder whether she was flattered or vexed by his pursuit.
“I made Piers Webster tell me where you’d gone. He had no business to spirit you away like that, with so much unresolved between us.”
“I thought it was resolved when you walked out of the nursery,” Evangeline replied. “Besides, Mr. Webster did not spirit me anywhere.
He was kind enough to offer me his assistance and I accepted.”
“Piers Webster was not being kind!” Jasper rolled his eyes. For such a self-reliant woman, Evangeline was sometimes too trusting. But could he persuade her to trust him? “He wanted you gone from Amberwood, so that I might forget you and propose to his daughter.”
“Why did you not oblige him?” Evangeline’s temper flared. “I thought that was your plan—to hold Miss Webster in reserve, poor lady, in case I refused you.”
“Where did you get a daft idea like that?” Jasper demanded, though he could guess who had planted it.
“Mr. Webster.” She sounded as if she considered the man an unimpeachable source. “He told me you requested his permission to propose to his daughter the evening before you proposed to me.”
“He gave me permission,” Jasper insisted. “I did not ask for it!”
Evangeline folded her arms in front of her. “And I suppose you gave him no reason to believe you might want to marry Miss Webster?”
Jasper squirmed a little on the small settee. It was a tight fit for the two of them. Besides, his conscience was not entirely easy. He might not be guilty of what Evangeline had accused him, but he was not altogether innocent. “I might have, though I did not intend to deceive him. The night of the assembly, Mr. Webster asked me if my intentions toward his daughter were honorable or if I was only toying with her affections. I denied that, of course, not thinking what he might suppose I meant.”
“So you never thought of asking poor Miss Webster to marry you?” Evangeline looked doubtful of his explanation.
Jasper was not certain what she wanted to hear. One answer would slight his feelings for her. But the other might make him seem callous toward Margaret Webster. The truth lay somewhere in between, and cast him in a bad light with both women. “I cannot deny I did consider it after you left so suddenly. For the sake of the children and my work, I was tempted to secure a wife who would manage everything at home and leave me free to concentrate on the mill.”