by Ruby Hill
“Almost there!”
The housekeeper, Mary, was waiting for her in the kitchens, a friendly ally in Sarah’s dark life.
“Jack has a horse saddled and waiting.”
Together they eased open the door and walked into the cold, frosty air. The world was still dark; the sun would not rise for a few more hours. A smiling Jack met them, holding the beautiful mare bought especially for her trip. He loaded her bags filled with the dresses and other basics she would need. Sarah was thankful she had scrimped and saved every single penny she could over the last few years, or this never would have been possible.
“Thank you,” Sarah replied quietly, tears filling her eyes as she dropped her bags and embraced Mary. “Please be careful. I cannot imagine what he will do when he discovers I have gone.”
“Now don’t you be worrying about us, m’lady, we’ll be just fine. Now, here are your letters of recommendation and you know where you are going?”
Sarah swallowed hard, trying to inject some kind of strength into her voice but failing miserably. “Yes, I think so.”
Jack’s hearty voice lifted her spirits. “You can do this, m’lady. Anything’s better than staying with him.”
Sarah nodded and took the proffered hand as Jack helped her into the saddle. The forged letters of recommendation were tucked safely away and, without wanting to prolong her goodbyes, Sarah left. Taking one last look at the house where so much love and so much pain had occurred, Sarah whispered a short prayer for her father’s soul as she rode away.
Sarah kept to the path outlined by both Jack and Mary, the directions memorized thoroughly. The sun slowly began to rise, the winter sun only bringing a little warmth to her frozen bones. She could not rid herself of the fear that clutched her heart as she thought about her father’s wrath, almost certain he was riding after her and would come upon her any moment. Slowly, so slowly, the fear lessened as she rode further and further away from her home. The man she had once loved was now a tyrant, hating her because her mother had played him false. The day her mother died, his anger and violence passed to Sarah, turning him into a monster far beyond anything she had ever imagined. Now she faced an unknown future. If the Duke of Huntington changed his mind or was not impressed with her skills, she would be turned away with nowhere to go.
No, she would not consider that. She had been brought up a lady, and it could not be too difficult to share her knowledge with youngsters. A governess is what the letters said she was, and a governess she must become. No longer was she Lady Sarah Sayers; she was now plain Sarah Brown.
It was almost dark when Sarah reached the Huntington estate, her body barely able to take more punishment. She had ridden all day, only stopping on two brief occasions to allow both herself and her mount some rest and refreshment. She was tired and wet from the many rain showers, her hair plastered to her head. Her whole body was in pain, Sarah crying a little in relief as she approached the gates. She knew it was vastly unusual for a governess to arrive on horseback, but she had her excuses ready. Sarah would explain she had a deep love for her horse and plead for her mount to be stabled on the grounds, as unexpected and as rude as that might be. Sliding down from the saddle, she felt her legs buckle, unable to hold her up. Clinging to the saddle for dear life, she suddenly felt strong arms lift her off the ground, march into the house and placed her, none too gently, on the chaise lounge. Speechless, Sarah attempted to right herself and smooth her dress, realizing the wrinkles were an almost hopeless case. With trepidation, she lifted her gaze to the man before her and saw his dark eyes giving her a thorough assessment.
“Kindly explain who you are and why you are on my property.”
His presence filled the room as she shrank back, his loud voice reminding her of her father’s anger. He was waiting for an answer, and she could not ignore him.
“I am Sarah S-, Sarah Brown, Your Grace,” she squeaked, assuming that this was none other than the Duke of Huntington. “I am your new governess.”
The Duke of Huntington grimaced. He had not expected this mouse to be the governess. He studied her for a moment longer, her dull brown hair in complete disarray and deep blue eyes staring at him anxiously. At least she had some color in her cheeks, but she still appeared so small and inferior, considering his last governess had appeared much more capable, yet still handed in her notice after a few short weeks. How would this quiet creature handle his rambunctious twins?
“You have letters of recommendation?”
Sarah fumbled for a moment before handing over three ribbon-tied letters. She hoped Mary’s forgery would stand up to the test. Oliver, the Duke of Huntington, flicked through them impatiently before turning his gaze back to Sarah.
“I do not think we will suit, I’m afraid. My children are noisy, rambunctious and need a firm hand.” His eyes raked over her form. “I am not convinced that you are capable of doing so.”
At his words, Sarah’s heart began to beat in earnest. Somehow, she had to convince him that she could be a capable governess, able to care for and educate his children. She needed this to be her escape. She rose to her feet, wobbling a little on her unsteady legs.
“Your Grace, I may be small in stature, but that does not prevent me from being firm and authoritative. I have much to teach your children, and I beg you, at least give me an opportunity to prove it to you!”
She hated her pleading tone, wishing she had better hidden her desperation. He was studying her again and, with a lift of her chin, she studied him right back. Dark hair that fell untidily over his ears, and deep brown eyes that seemed to penetrate her very soul. She wanted to look away but knew she must prove her tenacity, meeting his firm gaze with one of her own. She willed the duke to allow her one chance, one opportunity, to change it for the better.
“Very well, Miss Brown, you may stay. However, you will remain only if I am certain that things are going well. Otherwise, I will give you notice.”
A wave of emotion burst over Sarah as she tried to stutter her thanks, instead managing to faint clean away.
2
It wasn’t until the following morning that Sarah awoke, finding herself in a narrow but cozy bed, dressed in one of her nightgowns. Completely disorientated, she sat up to hear a quiet knock on the door. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, she watched as the door opened and a maid walked in, smiling at Sarah.
“Good morning, glad to see you are awake at last! I’m Meg, one of the maids here. Mighty worried we were about you, but the master said you’d be right as rain by morning!”
Sarah stared at her for a moment, as it all came flooding back.
“How...how did I get here?”
“He carried you miss, do you not remember? Mind you, you were like a rag doll in his arms! I changed you; your wet clothes have been cleaned and are drying nicely. All your things have been put away too.”
Trying to stand, Sarah found her legs were still wobbly, her whole body protesting at the movement.
“Now, now, miss, you stay right there. There’ll be food up for you in a minute so you can break your fast, then the master’s ordered a bath!”
“A bath?”
“A bath! Just for you! Imagine that, a bath for a governess! He says something about you being all dirty and wet from your ride or some such thing.” Sarah blushed to the tips of her ears. “Then after that,” Meg continued, “you are to meet the children and His Grace in the nursery.”
Her stomach lurching at the thought, Sarah allowed herself to be placed back in bed. Soon there came hot tea and food to break her fast before she was presented with a steaming bath. Sinking gratefully into the hot water, she let her body relax as some the pain melted away. At least now she would be able to walk, instead of collapsing in front of him.
“Can you tell me about the duke?” she asked Meg, soaping her hair. She swore Meg blushed a little before she replied.
“His Grace? Owns this estate and all the land around it. Very wealthy, too. Takes good care of his tenants a
nd us here in the house.” Her cheeks reddened again. “He is a handsome master too, is he not?”
Sarah was quiet for a moment. She supposed he was handsome in some ways, but his tone and loud voice provoked a reaction of fear, not admiration or desire.
“I suppose,” she replied.
At least she knew he was a good master, which said a lot about a man. Over the years, her father’s servants had left their employment until only a few remained. Now that she was gone, she wondered if Mary and Jack would find better positions. She couldn’t blame them if they did.
“What about his children?”
Meg broke into a wide smile. “Ah, the twins. Get into everything those two, but both cute as a button! Just turned but six years old.”
Sarah didn’t smile, the description making her panic over her ability to control and educate the twins to their father’s satisfaction.
“What happened to their mother? The notice for a governess said nothing about her.”
“Oh, she died, miss, a long time ago. The twins were barely a year old when she passed. Didn’t give them much more than a look though, in that year. Was like she didn’t even see them!”
“How sad,” Sarah commented quietly, her heart softening a little.
“She and the duke had been betrothed since infancy,” Meg continued, as though she hadn’t heard her. “There was not any love between them; we were certain of that. You could hear her screaming most days, over anything it seemed!”
Shivering slightly, Sarah got out of the bath and began to dry herself, the memory of her own screams at her father’s hands echoing in her mind.
“A nasty piece of work, she was,” Meg said, handing Sarah her outfit piece by piece. “No one was sad when she died, not even the master, though he did his duty an’ all.”
Clothed in a dark gray, high-collared dress, Sophie stared at herself in the mirror. She looked the part; her long brown hair was swept up into a tightly knotted bun, her hands clasped gracefully in front of her.
“Excellent, Miss. Now, up to the nursery. I’ll show you the way.”
Swallowing a lump in her throat and praying that God would be with her, Sarah nodded and followed after Meg.
The duke had not exaggerated when he called his twins ‘rambunctious.’ Sarah watched them scrambling around the room, playing a game that only the two of them knew, uncaring about the destruction they were causing. The duke, instead of watching them, kept his eye on the little governess, trying to gauge her response. She was hiding her reaction well, although he could tell from the widening of her eyes that she was a little taken aback.
“Children,” he said quietly, his single spoken word causing both his children to stop immediately and look up. “Come here and meet your governess.”
Sarah was not surprised by his authority; he clearly had the respect of his children as well as his staff. Both children greeted her politely, the son bowing as he ought and the daughter executing a near perfect curtsy. Clearly, they had been taught well.
“Children, please meet Miss Brown, your new governess.” His Grace continued, “Miss Brown, this is Elizabeth and Samuel.”
“I am pleased to meet you both,” Sarah said to the two small faces peering inquisitively up at her. “I am sure we shall get along very well together.”
She was rewarded with a smile from Elizabeth and a grin from Samuel, who appeared to be itching to start running around again. The duke put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, ensuring he stayed put.
“I shall leave you to get acquainted,” he said, more to the children than to Sarah. “You will both treat Miss Brown with respect; she is here to educate you both, and I expect you to do as you are told.” His tone was firm, but his eyes were smiling. Sarah was relieved to know that he was not a tyrant and it was evident that both his children adored him. “I shall be up again later to see you, and I want a good report from Miss Brown.”
“Yes, sir,” they both chimed, their blue eyes looking up at Sarah in wide-eyed innocence. Sarah supposed they got their blue eyes from their mother, but their dark hair was almost identical to the duke’s.
His touch on her arm startled her, and she turned to find him leaning down to her, lowering his voice as he spoke.
“Do not let their appearances fool you, Miss Brown. They are the most precocious pair of children imaginable!”
His breath tickled her neck, his mouth close to her ear as he tried to stop his children from hearing his words. She shivered slightly, his nearness completely overwhelming her senses. He smelled of pine and cigar smoke, his low voice sending tremors through her body. She closed her eyes briefly before replying.
“Thank you, Your Grace. I will be sure to keep on my guard.”
Giving herself a slight shake, she heard the duke leave, closing the door behind him. She was sure he chuckled as he left the room.
Outside the door to the nursery, the duke paused for a moment, rubbing his hand across his face. The wet, bedraggled creature was no more, instead transformed into a handsome woman with a pretty smile and fine curves that even her dull gown could not hide. He enjoyed seeing her reaction to him, but that was warning enough. A good governess was hard to find, and he was not about to ruin her reputation with a quick roll in the hay. His children would never forgive him if he had to send her away. Never mind the fact that he was sure she was untouched and, as a rule, he did not go near chaste women. He grimaced as he walked down the hallway back to his rooms. Shaking his head to himself, he entered his study.
3
It was clear that the twins were going to test her, right from the start. No sooner had she sat them down in the newly dusted and decorated schoolroom were they up again and crawling under the desks. First, Sarah tried to reason with them, but they ignored every single word she said. It was as though she was not in the room! She tried to raise her voice, but it came out as just a squeak. Elizabeth and Samuel continued their games, laughing and giggling as they chased each other around the room.
Giving up, Sarah sat back in her chair, her head in her hands. She had no one to turn to, no one to ask for help. Should the duke walk into a scene like this, she was sure she would be given immediate notice. Praying in desperation, she begged silently for help to the One she knew was always there. A single tear escaped from the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek as she prayed, frustrated at her own lack of proficiency.
A small hand touched her knee, and she raised her head to see Elizabeth’s concerned little face looking into her own.
“Are you sad, Miss Brown?”
Sarah let out a little laugh.
“Yes, Elizabeth, I suppose I am a little sad.”
To her surprise, Elizabeth’s eyes became angry, and she suddenly turned to her brother.
“Samuel, we will sit down now and do our lessons, and then Miss Brown will not be sad anymore.”
Samuel was idly picking at a small knot in the desk, his face a mixture of guilt and stubbornness, but to Sarah’s utter relief, she saw him nod.
Now feeling both a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude, Sarah patted Elizabeth’s hand whilst sending up a quick prayer of thanks. She was grateful that Elizabeth, despite her tender years, seemed to understand what was required of her and that her brother, however unwillingly, was following suit.
“Thank you, my dear. I am sure that your father will be pleased with a good report.”
On hearing his father mentioned, Samuel bolted to a desk and sat down immediately whilst Elizabeth picked up two slates and gave one to Samuel before sitting down at her own desk. Sarah smiled, making a mental note to mention the duke whenever there was even a whiff of trouble. She turned to the blackboard and prepared to start some basic arithmetic, but Samuel’s voice stopped her.
“Miss Brown, may I ask you a question?”
He was all decorum now, she thought grimly, but turned to him with a bright smile, nodding her consent.
“Will you birch us, if we get some wrong?”
S
arah’s mouth dropped open. The child was only six years old and at the very start of his education. Whatever had given him the idea that she would switch him for making mistakes?
“Of course not, Samuel, whatever made you think such a thing?”
Samuel dropped his head, his face burning red as he refused to reply. Sarah, still looking for her answer, turned to Elizabeth.
“Well?”
“Miss Hewson — the governess before you — she would birch us. She kept it in her desk.”
Sarah could not abide the idea of switching the children. She wanted them to trust her, to respect her and to, most importantly, feel safe with her. She wanted to foster a love of learning and an excitement about the world around them. Fear was a poor form of control and not something she ever intended to use. Walking to her desk, she quickly found the switch and walked back over to Samuel. His eyes grew large, and she quickly knelt down, attempting to dispel any fear.
“Samuel,” she said quietly. “I will make you a promise, right here and now. I promise you that I will never, ever birch you. I will not be upset if you make mistakes, but I do want you to do your best and to try hard with your lessons. Do you understand?”
Samuel nodded, still refusing to look at her, keeping his eyes on the switch in her hand.
“I keep my promises, Samuel, and I have promised never to birch you, have I not? Therefore, there is no use for this, is there?” She held up the switch.
Samuel slowly raised his gaze to her face, a dawning comprehension in his eyes.
“No, Miss Brown, there is not.”
Sarah smiled at him.