He chuckled to himself. The word still seemed foreign to him. Suddenly the future wasn’t just about him or his business. Grace was his future. And while they hadn’t discussed marriage, it was only logical that that would be the next step. When the time was right, that was. Spring, perhaps. Before the high season set in, limiting their time.
Okay, so maybe he was getting ahead of himself. Because even though he’d told Grace he loved her, she had yet to say she loved him. There was also that issue of her contract with the cruise line.
He removed the first bolt, each turn of the socket wrench making a zip, zip, zip sound. Last night at Sami’s, Kaleb couldn’t help noticing how well Grace fit in with his family. Grace and his sister had chatted half the night, Sami picking Grace’s brain about the places she’d been, while Jack practically wore him out playing ball.
If only his sister’s announcement hadn’t affected Grace so negatively. He didn’t like to see her hurting. He understood her desire to have children and that her ex-husband had done her wrong. However, he wasn’t her ex-husband and was determined to do whatever it took to earn her trust.
“Yo, Kaleb.”
Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Roger wandering into the garage.
His friend paused beside the tool chest. “Grace said to tell you she was running late. Said she’d be in around nine.”
That was odd. Grace was never late. “Is she feeling bad?”
“This is just a guess, but I don’t think she got much sleep last night.”
“Hmm...” Kaleb couldn’t help wondering if it had something to do with the previous evening.
“Problem?” Roger nodded in the direction of the vehicle on the lift.
“Rear dif.”
“Fun.” He took a step closer to inspect the damage. “So what did you think about Saturday?”
“For all my reservations, I thought it was great.”
Roger looked at him now. “Your speech brought the house down.”
“Better than having a hundred deadpan faces staring at you.”
“You mean like they did with me and the other fellas?”
They both laughed.
Stepping out from beneath the vehicle, Roger continued. “Donna mentioned something about you sneaking Grace out to the log cabin.” He toed at something on the concrete. “You two sure have been spending a lot of time together lately.”
“You’re not going to give me some fatherly warning about your daughter, are you?”
“No. You’ve sure got Donna’s hopes up, though. She likes having Grace here.”
Realizing he’d need to open up the office, Kaleb followed his friend. “I know their relationship was a bit strained when Grace first arrived. I’m glad they’re doing better.” He set his wrench atop the tool chest and picked up a rag.
“Me, too.”
“Hey, I pulled your tour truck in.” He pointed to the far bay.
“Thanks. Guess I’d better get it dried off and put on the canopy.”
“Yeah, and I’d better get inside and unlock the door.”
Kaleb stopped at the sink to wash his hands before making his way into the office. He hoped Grace wasn’t still bothered about Sami and was half tempted to give her a call and see how she was doing. Then again, if she was trying to get ready for work, he’d just be interrupting. He’d simply have to shove his impatience aside and wait until she got here.
Fortunately, Grace was very thorough, so the clipboards for this morning’s tours were already laid out on the counter. Two to Yankee Boy Basin, one to Imogene Pass and the other to Corkscrew. And even though it was raining, the tours would go on.
Once the tours had departed, Kaleb returned to the shop, eager to knock out that differential. Before he even got started, though, the telephone rang, echoing throughout the garage.
Changing directions, he made his way to the tool bench.
“Mountain View Tours, this is Kaleb.” He fielded questions from a potential customer and was still on the call when he heard the office door open.
Glancing across the garage, he motioned to Grace. After a slight hesitation, she slowly continued in his direction, looking much the way she had the day she first arrived at Mountain View Tours. Hands tucked in the pockets of her riding jacket, there seemed to be an air of uneasiness about her. But why? Maybe she wasn’t feeling well.
“Yes, all of our tours are listed on our website. However, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to give us a call.” Ending the call, he met Grace halfway. “Good morning.”
He hugged her, though it was kind of like hugging a pole.
When he stepped back, he saw her looking everywhere but at him. Meaning she was uncomfortable about something.
“Grace?” He tilted her chin to look at him. “What’s going on?”
Pulling her hand from her pocket, she held out a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” Anxiety settled in his gut as he unfolded what looked like a letter and started to read. “You’re resigning?” He kept reading, his breaths coming quicker with each word. “Effective immediately?” He looked at her now, his blood roaring in his ears. “Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?” He motioned to the paper.
She lifted her chin. “It’s not a joke.”
“I don’t get it, then. Why would you resign?”
Squaring her shoulders, she said, “Because I’m leaving.”
“Leaving? But—I thought we had this all figured out.” Panic roiled within him. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not ever.
“I’ve been talking with the cruise line. Seems there’s been a change in plans.”
“I don’t believe you.” Confusion muddled his brain as he sifted through every conversation they’d had in recent days, looking for any hint that she was considering leaving early. But all he could think about was the way she’d kissed him. No hesitation. No fear. No—
Wait a minute.
“It’s because I told you I love you, isn’t it? I’m a big boy, Grace. If you don’t love me, just tell me.” Noting the way she refused to look at him, he stepped closer. “But I don’t think that’s it. I think you’re afraid.”
She assumed her toughest stance. “What would I have to be afraid of?”
“Of being hurt again. And your instincts are telling you to run, aren’t they?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She turned to walk away, but he stopped her, turning her to face him.
“Oh, yes, I do. And I’ve got news for you, Grace. You can run, but you can’t hide. Love has a way of taking up residence in your heart, even when you don’t want it to. I know that you love me, Grace. You can try to deny it all you want, but I know the truth.”
“How could you possibly know what I’m feeling?”
“I lost my leg, but I’m not blind.” He stopped, the bitter taste of bile burning the back of his throat as memories of Gina surfaced. “Or is that the problem? That I’m not whole?”
“No!” The word echoed off the concrete floor and walls. “It’s because I’m not.”
Confusion riddled his mind. “What?”
“I can’t have children, Kaleb. You know that.”
“So?”
“So, I’ve seen you with Jack. The smile on your face as you played with him last night. Someday you’re going to want kids. You deserve kids.” The unshed tears glistening in her eyes made him want to pull her into his arms and will her to believe him. Sure, he’d always dreamed of having his own kids. But more than that, he wanted a life with Grace. With or without kids.
“Then we’ll adopt.”
Her lip curled. Nostrils flared. “Aaron said the same thing. And we both know how that turned out.”
The words hit him like a stun gun
. And before he had sense enough to respond, she was gone.
Should-haves and what-ifs pelted his brain. His heart felt as if it might explode. Frustration pulsed through his veins.
Turning, he crumpled the paper in his fist and slammed it into the red tool chest with a guttural roar even he didn’t recognize.
The chest toppled with an explosive crash. One by one, drawers fell open, emptying their metal contents onto the concrete floor with a deafening cacophony that brought back memories of that fateful night in the desert.
Pain racked his body. Leaning against a nearby post, he willed the fury to subside.
He stared at his bloodied knuckles through a blur of tears, knowing the damage to his heart was far worse.
How dare she compare him to that lowlife she was once married to. Then again, it wasn’t as if he was unfamiliar with the distrust caused by past hurts. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have accused her of believing him half a man.
Helplessness washed over him like the rain outside the window. It was a feeling he knew well and had vowed he’d never feel again. Right now, though, it was all he had.
* * *
Why had Grace let Mama talk her into staying until tomorrow? It was only a little rain.
Lightning flashed and thunder boomed just then, rattling the windows on Roger’s garage.
Okay, maybe Mama had a point.
Grace unhooked the bungee cord that secured her footlocker to the tongue of her trailer. She set the trunk on the concrete floor and lifted the lid so she could add a few last-minute items.
It wasn’t as if she wanted to leave Mama so soon. Matter of fact, given her heart problems, Grace would just as soon stay. But what choice did she have? Even if she wasn’t working for Kaleb anymore, Ouray was tiny. She was bound to run into him. Not to mention that just about every place in town would remind her of him.
Thoughts of the pained expression on his face when she turned in her resignation this morning had her dinner feeling more like a lead weight in her belly. There was no doubt in her mind that he did indeed love her. But that was now. What about later? What if he changed his mind? She couldn’t go through that again.
Thunder cracked overhead.
Grace shot to her feet, wrapping her arms around her stomach. Why had she allowed herself to fall in love? This gut-wrenching ache was exactly why she’d promised herself she’d never open her heart again. Yet she did it anyway. Allowing Kaleb to sneak past her defenses.
The side door opened then and Roger stepped inside. Pushing back the hood of his jacket, he shut the door behind him. “’Tain’t a fit night out there for man or beast.”
She grinned, thinking about her father. He used to say the same thing. “Sounds like it’s getting worse.”
“I believe you’re right.” Shoving his hands into the pockets of his faded jeans, he stepped into the one-car space that had housed her motorcycle and trailer while she stayed with them. “Thought I should check on you. Make sure everything was okay.”
“I’m fine.” She glanced down at the open footlocker. “Just making sure I’m all set for tomorrow.” The cruise line had agreed to look at the possibility of assigning her to another ship. Something that sailed sooner. Even though she might have to take a different job. In the meantime, she’d decided to stay with Lucy in Flagstaff.
He nodded. “I’m sorry you have to leave so soon. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.”
“Likewise.” Embarrassment had her tucking her hands in her back pockets. “It certainly took me long enough.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it.” He hesitated a moment. As though carefully choosing his words. “You know, my, uh, first wife and I didn’t have any kids of our own. But if I’d had a daughter, I’d like to think that we would’ve been as close as you and your father were.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, though she quickly blinked them away. “I know this is none of my business, but why did you and Camille choose not to have children?”
“It wasn’t our choice.” He moved to the small workbench on the far wall, grabbed two stools that were tucked underneath and set them near the trailer. “Have a seat.”
Raindrops pelted the window as they sat.
“We tried for years to have a baby. For the longest time, Camille felt as though she’d failed me as a wife.”
Grace could definitely relate to that.
“However, nothing could have been further from the truth.”
She studied the silver-haired man before her, waiting for him to continue.
“I married Camille because I loved her and wanted to share my life with her.” Hands clasped in his lap, he continued. “Kids simply would have been an extension of that love. But it never changed.”
“Unconditional.” Something she’d always heard of, but had never experienced outside of familial relationships. The longer they were married, the more she realized that Aaron’s love always seemed to hinge on something. How she dressed or who her friends were or how many toys she’d let him buy. You want me to be happy, don’t you, Grace?
“That’s right. Real love is steadfast. Just like all these mountains.” He gestured toward the window that spanned the wide garage door.
“And Cascade Falls.” Their steadfastness was what made them so special to Kaleb.
“Exactly.”
Roger’s wife had been a lucky woman. “Was Camille ever able to accept that you loved her regardless?”
“Over time. God showed her that He had other plans for her life. Like teaching young girls. Mentoring them. By the time she passed away, she had more kids than she’d ever dreamed of.”
Grace couldn’t help smiling. “I wish I could have known her.”
Roger cleared his throat, his expression serious. “Grace, don’t let what Aaron did define you. Or any man God might place in your path. We’re not all jerks.”
She puffed out a laugh.
“God has a plan for you, Grace. Just follow His lead.” If she had a nickel for every time she’d heard that...
“That would be easier to do if fear didn’t have me in a choke hold.”
“I hear ya. However, I know for a fact that God is bigger than our fears. He’s chased away more of mine than I care to count.”
Another streak of lightning, followed by a loud bang. The lights flickered.
Roger stood. “I think we’d best be getting inside.”
She watched the trees dancing wildly on the other side of the window. “I think you’re right.” She rose and handed him her stool, thinking how much her father would have liked Roger. “Thank you, for being patient with me and for telling me Camille’s story.”
“You’re welcome.” The sincerity in his blue eyes made her wonder what had been wrong with her all those years, why she’d refused to accept him.
“And just for the record, I’m really glad Mama married you.” Fighting back tears, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. And he hugged her back.
Later that night, after the rain had passed, Grace lay in her bed, tucked beneath her grandmother’s quilt, thoughts of Kaleb drifting through her mind. Conflicted thoughts. If only he were here. He’d be able to help her sort through them.
Even though that wasn’t possible, she still longed for the strength of his embrace and the protection it offered. He was a good man. A godly man. A man who could be trusted. Like Roger.
She replayed his and Camille’s story in her mind. What a lucky woman Camille had been to have such a wonderful husband. And Grace couldn’t help wondering—
Dear God, is there someone out there who could love me unconditionally?
She closed her eyes, sending tears trailing into her ears. Someone like Kaleb.
I do love him, God, and I hate that I’ve hurt him. But I’m so afraid.
God is bigger than our fears. Roger’s words echoed in her mind.
I’m such a mess. God, I’ve been an idiot to think I could handle life without You. Forgive me. Help me, God. Save me from myself. Right now, I choose to trust You. Remove the fears that have blinded me and show me what it is You would have me do with my life. Whether in Ouray or somewhere else, I want to live the life You would have me live, be the woman You want me to be. Please, God. In Jesus’s name.
Opening her eyes, she stared into the blackness. Yet inside, the part of her that had been hollowed out by grief and despair was filled with an incredible light that brightened the darkest corners of her being. She felt alive and whole, for the first time in years.
And it felt amazing.
Chapter Seventeen
Kaleb couldn’t sleep. Restless, he’d finally got up and paced his living room for so long he was surprised he hadn’t worn a trail in the hardwood. He didn’t care, though. He was too busy kicking himself for being so stupid. Instead of telling Grace he wanted her to stay in Ouray, he should have proposed. Reassured her that he loved her, whether they were able to have children or not.
He had to go after her. That was all there was to it. And once he found her, he’d do everything in his power to keep her from leaving again.
Problem was, he had no idea where she’d gone.
Roughing a hand over the stubble that lined his jaw, he glanced at the clock on the wall. Five thirty. Would Roger be up by now, or should he wait until six?
Ah, who cared. He’d waited long enough. Maybe some fresh air would help him piece together his thoughts so he wouldn’t sound like a bumbling fool.
Outside, the morning air was still, the streets empty as he hoofed his way to Roger and Donna’s. Kaleb couldn’t remember ever feeling so torn up inside. Not after his accident, not even when Gina left.
But Grace wasn’t Gina. She was the rose to his thorns. The face he looked forward to seeing every morning at work. The one who was his voice of reason, able to talk him down off the ledge. He couldn’t imagine life without her.
Falling for the Hometown Hero Page 18