"I'm just flushed from the walk, I think" she says trying to meet his look and match it.
Jack expressed his skepticism, "I think maybe you're just hornier than you want to admit."
She laughed glad to be able to at least answer this question with conviction.
"As a matter of fact Jack, I've been jerking off at least ten times every night thinking about your cock."
Jack laughed even louder, "Well I guess you passed the entrance exam, you can come in now."
"Thanks awfully," Hayley drawled.
Inside he increased the sexual tension further by refusing to give in to their mutual wish to immediately tear each others clothes off. Instead he motioned for her to warm her self by the heater while he played a bit for her on the piano.
Hayley enjoyed watching his hands work.
"Jack..." she implored, "play me a song please."
Jack grinned, "I forget you've never really heard me sing a song. Here's one I've been trying to fix up- it never quite did what it was supposed to."
Jack, with his hands loose and careless rushed through the introduction before settling into a groove and beginning the lyric.
Hayley realized immediately she'd heard it before. It had been a rare miss for him, a minor hit for a flash in the pan pop star the year before.. she was amazed at the sensitivity of his the performance. His voice had a slightly weathered grain but it was strong and still clear when he wanted it to be..his voice crooned, moaned, hollered, almost whispered and moved without any break in and out of pure, rich falsetto she had always thought the song well written and clever but in his hands and through his voice it took on greater depth and became moving, even heartbreaking.
Jack's fingers reorchestrated the melody changing the simple dance pop arrangement into something more complex and yet purer in essence. She suddenly saw the chords melody and words forming an elegant and flexible skeleton of sound perfectly suited to wearing any singer's skin. A fact he demonstrated by moving between his many voices interchangeably. an artful dance that never distracted from the emotion of the piece, only added nuance. Jack finished the song.
Hayley said quietly- "that was amazing... why don't you make a record of it?" he laughed shortly, almost a bark.
"I don't want to ever deal with the industry from that side again it makes me too sick."
Jack continued, "I don't need or want the kind of validation I once did. I know who I am and I have no desire to put myself on a pedestal to be torn down again."
Jack put his dark thoughts aside, "You're missing the point, anyway. What makes that a good song?"
Hayley hesitated.. "It's balanced...it's simple without being cliche the chords and melody match the words. The words have their own complimentary rhythm which helps carry the song forward."
Jack smiled slightly so Hayley continued, feeling bolder by his approval.
"It doesn't have any unnecessary flourishes to distract from the songs' basic meaning."
Jack refused to be so easily satisfied.
"Which is?"
Hayley looked puzzled, "Heartbreak... an ending relationship, at least that's what the lyrics are talking about."
"Wrong!" Jack said cheerfully.
Hayley felt exasperated "I give up!"
Jack looked mischievous, "I'll make it easy." He reached for a little transistor radio with cheap speakers and turned it on to the local top-40 station, quietly.
"What is the meaning of this song?" Jack asked.
Hayley frowned, "Turn it up, I can barely hear it"
Jack denied her request, "It's better if it's quiet- when you can't hear the words as clearly. Listen to the tone..the emotion..the general quality of the rhythm..what is it's basic meaning?"
Hayley could only think of one answer but it seemed stupid and obvious.
"I guess If you can't really hear a song properly then it's basic meaning is.. whatever things you can actually make hear of mixed with whatever else you make up yourself."
Jack applauded, obnoxiously loudly "Bravo!!...A+, a cookie for Hayley.."
"Very funny, big dummy, but why make such a big deal about it?" Hayley said defiantly.
Jack said, "You want to understand the Jack Davis touch, right? this is the secret of my success: Forget any lyrics a 12 year with down syndrome can't remember, forget any part of the melody that a tone-deaf monkey can't whistle, throw away any rhythmic accent that a deaf person could miss."
"Listen to it garbled with distortion, or so quietly it's just a buzzing noise. If it still makes you feel something, then it's a hit," Jack continued.
Hayley protested this, "But your melodies have tricky twists and skips and your lyrics are so perfectly balanced, so nuanced..."
Jack waved his hand to dismiss this, "A mere whim on my part-call it a conceit. It doesn't change the fact that there is only one possible meaning to a pop song... The lowest possible common denominator of the emotional landscape in the culture- the closer to the bottom, the bigger the hit."
Jack smiled, not at all cynically, "I don't even need to look at the news or watch television- it's all right here..pop music is the true soul of our culture not any damn singer-songwriters singer-songwriting for the sake of their singer-songwriting.. the truth of of pop is not in the music, it's not even in the sound..it's in the static in between the dials... the baffled noise that fills the clouded minds of the common men and women as they reel and lurch their way through a vision of reality darker than even Plato with his cave would have been able to fully comprehend."
Jack repeated his mantra "static is the soul of all popular culture." He paused, pleased with himself.
Hayley rolled her eyes at him, "Jack..?"
"Yes?" he echoed at her, being cute about it.
Hayley said, "You're a brilliant man" he nodded sarcastically "Agreed" her eyes implored him impishly "Can we please fuck now?"
He laughed, "Anything to shut me up, eh? well I don't blame you one bit...come along then."
Jack put out his arm for her to take it.
Hayley giggled girlishly as he dragged her into the bedroom
They had been at it for a while now. Jack was sweating- wishing he was in better shape. Still he didn't feel weary, only occasionally winded. He stopped thrusting and raised himself up on his arms to gaze down admiringly at her body while Hayley lay and panted up at him, happily like a puppy.
Hayley's small, yet elegantly elongated proportions. The lushness of the curves of her buttocks and breasts. The clenching and unclenching of her strong inner thighs as her sex muscles flexed, hungrily awaiting more attention.
Jack eased himself down to put his face between her legs. They'd spent so much of their time locked together by their entangled arms, he wanted to take some time to focus his sights and taste entirely on her beautiful little brown flower.
Jack licked at the engorged purple lips a few times, a mere tease. He explored her in earnest kissing all around her twitchy little pelvic muscles. Gently biting her inner thighs. licking, kissing and sucking everything but her pulsing nub.
Hayley wriggled impatiently, driven crazy by the tease and loving it at the same time. She couldn't help herself trying to buck her hips to bring his tongue nearer to that center of her sensitivity. Finally he his tongue found it. Instead of licking, He simply lay his thick pink muscle against it and pressed down... she tried to writhe against it but he held her thighs down with his strong forearms. She twitched and felt her clit throb unbearably...as if it had grown super sensitive in order to try to salvage it's hopes for release.
Jack began to move his hips in swift, short strokes that sent waves of heat across her torso.. Feverish Hayley fidgeted but his arms held her in check. That little purple nub had grown to nearly double it's normal size as he licked it properly now, long precise strokes in an up down rhythm.
Hayley felt her core was an anvil and that each delicate flick of his tongue, a hammer blow, making her whole being ring out it sympathy. He sensed her agony and he did the
unthinkable, the unbearable...he took that clit in his mouth and sucked on it, with a speed and intensity had made her almost numb from over stimulation. Backing off quickly from that assault he paused for a beat and back down came down with some even more furious...and far more delicious. she shook his head violently from side to side with his tongue hitting her clit, rapid-fire and accurate, while his nose planted pivoting from her fuzzy mound vibrating her whole region as his tongue destroyed the barrier between her tension and her release. Hayley moaned so hard she lay twitching and incapacitated for a few seconds.
Jack probed his tongue lower giving, her what had already become one of her favorite sensations. He licked the little sphincter muscles with little brisk strokes...rimming all around as he slurped up and down her entire crevice absorbing all the musky, leftover juices on his tongue so he could use them to prepare the way for his next attack. He began to push his tongue into her once again.
Hayley had pulled her legs back now- to afford his easier access for his ever deeper forays...he looked at her beautifully toned bum, taking a short break from his tunneling to nibble them, his teeth feeling each small beautiful little muscle on it's way up, down and side to side.
Finally enough juices had dribbled down that so that his next move could be mustered. He kissed her tiny little hole once as he rose up to find his cock almost alarmingly erect. she relaxed...smiling at the pleasure about to come. He simply pressed it there against her tiny exit. staring at it transfixed as it opened like a flower ...flexing as he pushed...so..so..so slowly into it. at halfway he heard her grunt slightly. He looked at her face. It was lit with a totally innocent pleasure..an almost childlike happiness and acceptance. He stared down at his hard cock, looking like it was about to tear her apart, he couldn't believe the beautiful fragility of her inner strength. he moved slowly,tentatively.. she urged him on with movements of her hips egging him to go deeper..to push harder.
Suddenly, unaware of how it happened, he was buried almost to the hilt and pounding her furiously, she was rubbing her clit he stuck three fingers in her gaping violent colored cunt...she came...he felt the tremors in her pussy with his fingers. He pushed deep down inside, from a slightly sideways angle he's never attempted in her.
It didn't stimulate her clit or her g-spot at all...but somewhere in some magical spot at the back of her something began to feel like a ticking time bomb ...oh...my...god....what...the...fuck everything inside ballooned insanely...like the inside of her was turning into a blowfish he held his breath.
He pressed against Hayley, moving in a tiny circle. Her dam burst...she sprayed, she leaked, she gushed...all over him- over her self- soaking the sheets... laying there half sobbing as the last of her overwhelming euphoria and release spent it self she cried out.
"Jack!...Am I allowed to say I love you yet!"
Jack lay next to her holding her gently as she shook a little. His face was dark with worry. Hayley looked at him " is everything OK?"
Jack smiled gently, with a sadness too subtle for Hayley to detect.
"It's alright Hayley, sleep now."
Hayley slowly drifted into unconsciousness on swirling sea of chords that were more dreamlike than the dream she awoke from. Hers perked up and the sounds became more defined... a modulating series of chord changes with notes that effortlessly moved against and with each other like multiple dancers in slow motion.. constantly changing his supple, subtly syncopated rhythm pulsed with an organic vigor though his tempo rose and fell in sensuous rubato as he wandered around the keyboard .
Those probing rhythms were so much like those of his thrusts inside her earlier that she shivered at the memory..in a perfect synchronicity of sensation akin to de-ja vu in it's instantaneous intensity but sustained rather than fleeting, as such moments so often were.
When Hayley finally slipped into her dream. She heard the chords transform into a darkly melancholic air still beautiful and mesmerizing but now dark, dangerous, restless. She was amazed by the seamless flow from one to the other until she realized, like a person seeing two faces turning into a candlestick, that it was she who had changed, not the music. Where as listening to those same chords a few moments earlier she felt content and safe, now could sense a deep pathos. she thought of jack in there alone so lost in that sound and she felt afraid for him. She lay and listened feeling a sense of trepidation in her heart until finally the sorrowful sounds stopped and she fell into a restless sleep. When she awoke the next morning jack brought her eggs on toast in bed with coffee and orange juice. ravenously hungry, she ate quickly. She was a bit disappointed he was already dressed and didn't seem anxious to play right now. still, she consoled herself remembering their beautiful night.
Hayley glossed over in her mind those strange minutes when she had awakened to that disturbing music.. telling herself it was mostly her imagination. She looked up from her food and smiled him a mouthful of eggs which made him laugh..a bit woodenly, she thought. when she had finished eating he spoke up. "Hayley.. I'm having a wonderful time with you but I'm afraid I'm getting behind in my work. I'm sure you have your own work to take care of too.."
Despite his reasonable words, Hayley's heart, by now so attuned to his every mood and whim, shot out pangs of alarm. she forced herself to remain calm on the surface.
"Of course, We'll adjourn for the day and I can come back sometime late in the evening"
Jack shook his head "No that won't work for me. I'm going to have to be working around the clock for a few days- at least. until I get certain things done."
She looked him straight in the eye, "You don't have to bullshit me Jack, You're worried about what I said last night and now you're trying to avoid discussing it" her heart hurt but honesty was more important right now. He said as gently as he could "It's not good Haley.. I know something bad will happen if you stay here."
Hayley flashed her intense brown eyes at him, "Can't you let me decide for myself what's good for me? or are you afraid of me?"
Jacks face was grim, "Maybe I am afraid of you...or maybe I'm afraid of what kind of effect we might have on each other... whichever it is I know in my heart that you need to go away right now today for a while at least. She looked at him, crumbling slightly, "Don't you see what this means to me? to us? I know you can feel the same beauty I feel in our embrace."
Jack agreed "Of course I can, that's what makes this so dangerous..It would be so much easier if you weren't so dead set on this career of yours."
Hayley looked at him, "Are you telling me you'll let me stay if I give up my career, all my hopes and dreams?" Jack shook his head, "No, obviously I couldn't ask that.. but I can't watch you go down that road without hating my self for every sling and arrow I can't protect you from, and there will be so many"
Hayley was sick of his sob stories, "Look Jack, I don't scare easily.. what's so terrible that you can't trust me to protect myself?"
Jack resigned himself to having to share things he had no desire to share with anyone:
"Hayley, you and I both know you have plenty of talent and drive you can be successful- if you can handle all the bullshit in this business. You could also be great- if you can put all your soul into your work consistently. If you can do both of these things it thanklessly for long enough you may finally produce something truly and tenaciously irresistible. If you can produce that miracle once, you're truly blessed. But that's not enough. you have to do it again and again. Without gratitude. With indifference and even annoyance when you try to convince people this blessed thing you've created is worth disturbing business as usual over. You'll hate everyone, you'll want to kill anyone who refuses to listen- you'll want to beg and plead them to listen, you will hate your self for begging because it only makes people hate you for making them feel guilty. you will try to present it with humble reverence, but you will feel that everyone thinks your sincerity is a joke. You'll have to tone down your passion and learn to be blase and devious, traits which will undermine the purity of your own love for your w
ork. you'll feel queasy. You'll feel like a beggar with a priceless artifact he cannot sell... because no one will even look at him to see what he's holding. You'll say 'here take this gaudy, worthless trinket from me, I know it's worth nothing but can you please give me enough for something to eat?'And you will have no takers. after untold numbers of well wishers and broken promises. You will have had enough tiny successes to suddenly find your self in the midst of strangers with shiny faces and greedy hands who'll offer you laughable sums to take away your finest work representing years of your love..your dedication and suffering. and you will sell...as little as you can. simply to survive, in the hopes of writing better ones before you burn out. and you will burn out, not once but again and again. and you'll keep writing though you know your work is only a pale shadow of your once bright promise. it may be years between these burnouts before you recover any measure of your true strength. Eventually you will slowly, shyly allow yourself to believe in the beauty of your muse again- because it is your only true friend and you feel bold once more and hope will start to well up again... but it will never be the same as before because you will know that you'll fall again from grace. One day, one of your children- not your best, but not your worst either will finally be the one that clutches at a collective nerve and for once manages to hold on... if you manage to get it heard by that magical number of people it takes for it to burn it's way into the collective memory. It will be divorced finally and properly from that prison of painful solitude in which it was incubated. It will stand on it's own as your ambassador of goodwill, as your loving child telling everyone it meets what a great parent you were to it. You will be called a success, a major player a true artist. and it will be terrible joke to you. you will hate more, not less. You will use your success not as a bridge to re-unite yourself to the world as you once hoped but as buffer to keep maintain and strengthen your distance. To keep alive that last precious bit of humanity left inside which vapid smiles and empty congratulations from an endless stream of thoughtless well-wishers can kill every bit as quickly as rejection once did, and then one day another young Hayley Parker will come your way and they will say, 'I love you'- and you will know it's true but you won't be able to love them back no matter how much they deserve it. Then you will know why I'm telling you to leave this place... now."
The Right Note (BWWM Interracial Romance) Page 4