She had my heart as a teenager, and now that I was here for good, she had my heart forever.
E P I L O G U E
Emilia
Three months later
AURORA. HER NAME is fundamental to Leo and I, and the meaning? Even better.
Roman goddess of the sunrise.
We couldn’t have picked a more perfect name.
“I like this weekly tradition,” Leo mumbles into my ear as we make our way to the grassy knoll at People’s Park in Berkeley.
I hug Aurora tighter in her carrier. The air is brisk and clear—the perfect homage to a Northern California winter. It’s fifty out, just cool enough to bundle up, but still warm enough for a picnic. It’s almost sunset, but we decided to get out of our apartment before it got dark. We’ve made it a habit to try and do things outside when we can, and picnic dinners at the park have become a Sunday custom. Rory’s cheek—Rory being the nickname my sister picked out—rests on my chest, and her deep, sleeping breaths calm and mollify me like nothing on this Earth ever has. Not even the quiet, Antarctic winter made me feel this contented; as if everything that happened in the last year was all woven into the seam of time before I was even born.
Like fate.
Destiny.
That’s what it felt like, anyways.
“Me too,” I say quietly as Leo shakes out the blanket and places it in an open, sunny spot on the vibrant, green grass.
We both sit down and I lay Aurora on the small cushion Leo thought to bring at the last minute. She stays sound asleep, comfortable in her fleece onesie and beanie, courtesy of Diane and Zack. The material is a light, sage green—Jake’s favorite color.
“Apple?” Leo asks, handing me a small Gala apple.
I smile and take it, biting into it and winking. “Thank you.” My eyes skim over his dark red button-up shirt and up to his face, where his smile meets his eyes as he watches me. He cocks his head. “What?” I ask, adjusting my parka and running my fingers through my hair.
“I love the way the sun reflects in your irises. It reminds me of the stars—grey rocks on fire. That’s what your eyes look like.”
I grin. “I love how cheesy you are,” I joke, leaning over to peck him on the cheek. He places his hands on either side of my face and pulls me closer, placing his lips on mine.
I deepen the kiss, smiling and giggling as he pulls me on top of him. We tumble backwards, and when he pulls away, I sit back up and check on Rory.
She’s awake and alert, watching us with a toothless smile. Her blue eyes—the same shade as Jake’s, according to Diane—are clear and bright. As I scoop her up and cradle her in my arms, I let out a happy sigh as I hand her over to Leo. He places her in his lap, and I feel my heart expand when she cranes her neck and looks up at him adoringly.
“Here’s your lasagna,” Leo says, winking. He hands me the container and I begin to eat while he unpacks his chicken.
After we finish, I feed Rory and we all lie down on the blanket as the sky turns a hazy pink and blue, muted with a grey glow. It’s eerily similar to how the sky looked in Antarctica towards the end of our stay—filtering the glow, the light, as the stars begin to poke out. Once the light disappears, it cools down significantly and we pack up our things. I strap Aurora back in her carrier, and she falls asleep instantly. Leo reaches out for my hand as we begin the short walk back to our apartment, stopping every few feet to point out certain constellations.
I smile at everyone we pass, and I admire the leftover Christmas decorations as we meander down the street. Leo grips my hand tighter as we make our way up the stairs to our 2-bedroom, and just before I turn the handle, he gently tugs me into him, wedging Aurora between us with ease.
“Did you get the email?” he asks gently, moving a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
He’s referring to George Bellingham’s email, inviting us back to Amundsen-Scott in Antarctica for the next three winters. We’d be resuming our roles, except this time, I would be co-astronomer, not research assistant. It would be a three-year contract, and we’d be completing our research from this past winter, focusing on dark matter. Gretchen would be there, as would Damien—they’d both decided to go back after a lot of back and forth, and Gretchen had happily deferred her PhD in lieu of going. We’d probably move back to Berkeley during the summer months (winter months in North America) and that would mean Aurora would spend half of her first years in darkness. I hadn’t given it much thought. I wanted to wait and talk to Leo.
I nod. “Yeah. Did you?”
He gives me a grim smile. “Yep. So?”
I shrug. “Do we have to decide tonight?”
He chuckles and strokes his thumb on my cheek. “No. We don’t have to decide tonight.”
I smile and turn to open our front door. Leo follows behind me, locking it as I pad down the hallway to Aurora’s room. I change her diaper and feed her as I rock her to sleep, singing a lullaby that Leo taught me—a lullaby that Barbara used to sing to him. After we put her down for the night, I follow him into the kitchen as he boils water for tea.
“It’d be kind of fun with Rory,” Leo says, giving me a sly smile. “Imagine how cute she’d look all bundled up.”
I laugh. “That would be cute. But it would mean she’d be the only child at Amundsen-Scott.”
“She’d play with her cousin when we came back for the summer months,” he replies, referring to Ana and Kais’s surprise pregnancy.
I nod and cross my arms, leaning against the counter. “That is true.”
“I thought you would’ve wanted to plan it all out,” he jokes, walking over to where I’m standing. His eyes probe my face as I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. I feel my chest flush.
“A year ago, I would’ve wanted a three-year plan. Hell, I had a five, ten, and twenty-year plan in place, and none of them involved you or Rory. But now I couldn’t imagine my life without you two.”
“Okay, so we’ll think about it,” he murmurs, pulling me roughly into his body. I moan as he nips my ear with his lips. The kettle begins to whistle so I pull away, but not before giving him a quick kiss.
“Yeah. We’ll think about it.”
I pour us some tea and hand him a mug. He watches me with confusion. “So, what’s next then? If we don’t go to Antarctica?”
For the first time in my life, I don’t know what my future—our future—holds. I don’t have a plan, and aside from Leo’s new creative endeavor—writing a science fiction book—we don’t know where we’ll be in a year. Our lives are up in the air, and at first it threw me for a loop. But now? I love the mystery.
When I found out I was pregnant with Aurora, I thought for sure that life would get crazier, more complicated, more planned out. I’d have to schedule sex and dates and work and an hour here or there for myself. In a way, it has gotten crazier—but much more fulfilling. I began placing importance on the things that matter the most. For me, that’s the little moments with Leo. Rocking Rory to sleep every night. Quick visits with Ana and my mom, and phone calls with Barbara and the Hansen’s. The ten minutes I have to myself in the mornings. Talking over tea at night with Leo. Gretchen and Damien came to stay for a weekend, and they watched Aurora while Leo and I quietly eloped near Big Sur—just the two of us, like it had always been.
Life lately is perfectly unplanned. I never thought I’d say that, but it is. I relish in the unknown, because the unknown is what brought me Leo and Rory. The unknown is exciting, and relinquishing control is palliative and reassuring. I was never a believer in fate before Antarctica. As a scientist, I knew all about coincidence, data, and facts. I assumed everything was cause and effect—that there was no greater power overseeing our actions and our life.
But then Leo showed the aurora to me—and everything sort of tipped upside down. Hence, Aurora’s name.
That’s the day everything changed for the better.
I cradle my head in the crook of Leo’s arm. “What’s next? I have no idea. But, for once,
I like not knowing.”
T H E E N D
A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S
First and foremost, thank YOU, the reader, for reading. YOU are the reason I get to do my dream job. YOU are the reason I continue to write (all with an excited grin while I wildly type out innuendos on my keyboard). YOU inspire me to keep going. So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU FOR READING!
Deanna, as always, thank you for the thorough editing. This book is better because of you and your scrupulous eyes! Also, thank you for putting up with my procrastination. Sorry I sent the book in three parts, lol. You are a saint.
Stephanie and Peter, thank you for reading the early versions of this book! It’s always daunting to send an unedited first draft to someone else (even if I am married to one of you—Stephanie—lol just kidding). Thank you for the notes, kind words, and useful suggestions.
To my family, THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!!!
To my husband… you are everything. This is usually the part where I apologize for letting the house fall into disrepair during my writing process, but I think I did a pretty good job balancing the two this time around, no? ;) Love you to the moon and back.
And one more thing, just for kicks. Since I’m rounding out my second year as a real “writer”, I just have to put a note in here for those afraid or mocked for wanting to follow their dreams. I was skeptical to start writing romance at first. I had no idea this whole world existed, let alone that there was such talent amongst writers and diehard support amongst readers. I never read romance before writing it. (Now I read it all the time, because holy moly there is some fantastic TALENT out there!) I’ve gotten flack for using my writing degree to write “smut”, but to be perfectly honest… I freaking love this industry. I’ve met some wonderful people, and it changed my life for the better. So, to those who are worried what others might think? Who cares! Go for it. Screw everyone else. Follow your dreams. You don’t have to become a romance writer per se, but if there’s something that’s calling your name, follow that voice. Don’t listen to the haters.
Or, you can be a dick like me and use their name as your next villain. :)
A B O U T T H E A U T H O R
Amanda Richardson is an award-winning travel writer turned indie author living in Los Angeles with her husband and two cats. When she’s not writing or reading (which, let’s be honest, accounts for 95% of her free time), she can be found Googling cheap flights to places she’s never been, talking to her cats, or obsessing over the British Royal Family. Fun fact: her first novel is about the Tudors. One day maybe, after a lot of wine, she might find the courage within her to publish it!
Find out more here:
http://www.amandarichardsonauthor.com/
Facebook.com/amandawritesbooks
Instagram.com/amandawritesbooks
Twitter.com/@amandarwrites
A L S O B Y
A M A N D A R I C H A R D S O N
Contemporary Romance:
And Then You
The Realm of You
Between the Pages
Tracing the Stars
The Year We Met (Coming 2017)
Romantic Suspense:
That Which Binds Us
*As of today, all titles are available on Kindle Unlimited (KU)!
And Then You
One night changes everything for both of them…
At age twenty-five, Evianna Halle has a master’s degree and a broken heart. In an effort to move forward, she accepts a job as a live-in nanny for Nicholas Wilder, a recent widower with a young daughter. But when she meets Nick, her young and kind-hearted employer, she realizes that maybe the universe brought them together at just the right time for a reason, even if it’s unconventional.
Day by day, they learn to heal as one. Nick and Evi discover that perhaps friendship (and eventually love) can overcome heartbreak of the worst kind, even if that means abandoning the life they thought they’d live and embracing a new, unknown future.
And Then You is an emotional contemporary romance about unexpected love—and finding your way again when you thought everything good in your life was gone forever.
Buy it now! (Available on Kindle Unlimited)
The Realm of You
When Marlin Winters awakens in an alternate universe, living in Vermont and engaged to a man she doesn’t recognize, she’s determined to figure out why she’s here and what sequence of events lead her to this moment. Over the course of one day, she begins to piece together the last week of her real life. What’s more, when the day is over, she doesn’t want to leave. Though she avoids it, sleep eventually comes, and the life she yearns for disappears forever.
The next day, Marlin wakes up in a hospital bed. It becomes abundantly clear that her wonderful life in Vermont was all a dream. Intent on regaining the happiness she felt, she decides to uproot her life and begin volunteering at a psychiatric hospital in the same town as the one in her dream. What she doesn’t expect is for both lives to come crashing together in a strange twist of fate.
The Realm of You is a dark contemporary romance about discovering your second chance. Sometimes the mind works in mysterious ways, and in Marlin’s case, it gives her a glimpse of what could have been. Once she gets a taste, she’ll do anything to make it a reality.
*Please note that this book deals with heavy situations such as self-harm and suicide, therefore it may be a trigger for some people. Though I’d consider this a contemporary romance, it’s on the dark side of the spectrum, so as a result, this book is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18.
Buy it now! (Available on Kindle Unlimited)
Between the Pages
At twenty-six years old, Finley Matthews is done writing for other people as a ghostwriter. She’s tired of seeing her work with someone else’s name slapped on the cover. She wants to make a name for herself, even if it means starting from scratch.
But when she runs into the mysterious novelist Emerson Whittaker twice in twelve hours, and he convinces her to take on one final ghostwriting project in return for good money and a promising meeting with his literary agency upon completion of the project, she accepts whole-heartedly. This could be her way into the daunting literary world. Besides, what could possibly go wrong?
Soon, Finley finds herself captivated by the enigmatic and attractive Emerson. And there’s something about Finley that Emerson can’t ignore, either. They soon find themselves helping and needing each other in more ways than one, and eventually, they fall in love between the pages of Emerson’s book.
As the months continue, Finley works with Emerson to get his story on paper. She begins to uncover things about him she wishes she never knew; piecing together Emerson’s past, one chapter at a time—a past with a secret even she can’t ignore.
A passionate tale of friendship, romance, and betrayal, Between the Pages will immerse readers in the twisted, provocative world of Finley and Emerson from the very first page.
*Author’s Note: For mature readers only.
Buy it now! (Available on Kindle Unlimited)
That Which Binds Us
In one minute, I was a witness to a murder.
In one night, I was taken.
In one week, I fought to survive.
In one month, I fell in love.
In one instant, I had to save the very man I thought I’d lost seventeen years ago.
That Which Binds Us is a courageous redemption tale about two people finding their way back to each other. It is a full-length romantic suspense novel meant for mature audiences.
Buy it now! (Available on Kindle Unlimited)
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