by Nikki Sex
"I have so much I have to tell you, Kelly," he said. "There is a lot you need to know about me. André told me that 'It is best to begin a relationship in the manner in which you intend to go on.' I want us to be honest with each other, always. I have lots of secrets, and I swear that you will hear them all in time. But I don’t want to frighten you." John took her blindfold off.
"Oh," he said when he looked into her pale blue eyes. They were dilated and desperate with lust and need.
"We can talk later. Right now I need to fuck you."
5. Triggers
John slid his chair back and tugged her to her feet, pulling her naked body against his. His thick cock pressed against her stomach and he gave an unintentional growl of relief at the physical contact. God he needed her so badly.
"John?"
"Humm?"
"Do you mind if I touch you?" Kelly said. "I really want to touch you sometime during sex. It doesn’t have to be now, just sometime." He wasn't at all surprised to find that he wanted to please her even more than he wanted to fuck her. He was the Dom, so why did it seem to him sometimes that she had all the power? And even more importantly, why didn’t that fact bother him?
He pulled her body closer against him, and reaching behind her, he unhooked her cuffs. Sweeping her into his arms as if she was his bride and they were crossing the threshold, John sat down, and set her on his lap.
"Hands in front, Kelly. Lace your fingers together." She obeyed.
John sighed. "Do you know what a trigger is, Kelly?"
She frowned and then grimaced. "I don't really know the definition, but I do know enclosed, dark spaces are a trigger for me."
"Oh, of course," he said. "You have had a very real and personal experience with the subject." John had an arm curled around Kelly's waist, the other resting on her thighs. With a sympathetic squeeze, he pulled her into him.
"Okay, a trigger is of course, different things to different people," he said. "Basically it can be defined as that time, during specific situations, when a person becomes vulnerable. These situations are called 'triggers,' because they trigger an onset of unwanted symptoms."
"The odd thing is that sometimes triggers occur without conscious awareness, so people don't always know what creates or 'triggers' the negative reaction. For example, if you were bitten by a dog as a child, you may not remember the incident, but you do know that dogs make you nervous. Seeing a dog then would be a trigger for your sudden inexplicable anxiety."
John reached back to the table and took a drink from his can of Diet Coke. He held the can up, and raised his brows, offering Kelly a drink.
"No thank you, John. I'm good."
"Okay. Well, in my case, I have difficulty with hands," he said. "I don't like to be touched. When I am touched I can sometimes feel nauseated, out of control and vulnerable. I was going to talk to you about this, because I want you to touch me. I want to get over this kind of 'hand phobia,' and I know that in time you can help me to do this."
Kelly smiled broadly, and her joy was so unexpected when discussing such a serious subject that John almost burst out laughing with relief. He had feared that she would become quiet and worried.
"What are you so happy about?" he said.
"Oh," Kelly said. "It's just that I'm certain that I can help you, John."
"That's it?" he said in disbelief. "You aren't curious about where my trigger comes from, or why I have it?"
"Sure I am," she said. "And you'll tell me when you're ready. But this time when we have sex, I'm going to ask if I can run my hands through your hair, or put them around your neck, and man, I am kind of looking forward to it. I love your wonderful, thick wavy hair, John. I bet it feels silky and amazing to touch."
Laughing joyously, John swept Kelly up into his arms and took her to the bed, throwing her on to it. "My hair, huh?" he said. "For now, hands over your head, beautiful girl, and spread those legs, knees up. I'm going to eat you out until your scream for me to stop, because you can’t take any more pleasure. And at some point, while I'm doing it, I'm going to let you touch my hair."
Much later, after he had licked and finger fucked her to orgasm three times, John had taken her twice more. Once against the wall, because there was just something about doing it standing up that appealed to him, having Kelly's legs wrapped around him, and her arms held high above her head. Then once while lying on their sides, with him coming from behind. Kelly's hands were naturally in front of her that way, and he could play with her breasts and kiss and caress her easily while entering her.
John had gotten around the hand thing by commanding Kelly to run her fingers through his hair. He had suffered a reaction, but he had pushed through the anxiety and while he didn’t yet enjoy the experience, he was beginning to tolerate it.
Now they lay together like children, Kelly talking away and him smiling and laughing as he watched her. John didn’t think he would ever get tired of watching her. The woman was so alive and irrepressibly cheerful.
It was impossible to be anything other than happy when he was with Kelly.
Not just happy, he thought with a sense of magic and wonder. Happier than I have ever been before - lovingly, exultingly, joyously, lightly, effortlessly, happy! Without doubt, without darkness, without anger, or hate. Could I have ever imagined such a state before?
And John knew the answer: Never.
"So," he finally said. "We have to think of getting some rest. I suspect that it would be best if we both go to our own homes. With you in my bed, Kelly, I won’t get any sleep. No matter how exhausted I am, I’m always hard for you. I think that even if I was dead I would still be able to fuck you."
"Eww!" Kelly laughed. "What a terrible picture! But yeah, I noticed that, too. Does that cock of yours ever go down below half mast?"
"Not really," John said. "It's always been a problem for me. But now that I have you as my sub I'm not complaining."
My sub, he thought with a thrill of pleasure. God, my beautiful Kelly. It still amazed him that she was his. But could he keep her? Or would she run away when she found out what had happened to him?
Not to mention all the bad things that he had done.
6. Confessions
John stood up then, finally managing to show Kelly his scars. He had decided that that was the best way to let her know that he had childhood issues. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Kelly had frowned and become very quiet. But not for long. John had an internal snicker over that. His beautiful sub would never be quiet for long.
"Why didn’t you tell anyone, John?" she asked. "Couldn’t someone, a teacher, or a counselor have helped you?
John sat back down on the bed next to her, and explained that his father was a dangerous, and manipulative man, as well as a district judge. If he had confided to someone, it wouldn't have solved anything. It would have only created problems for his confidant, or it may have even gotten them killed. Only three people outside the family knew this family secret, and if anyone found out there would be terrible repercussions. He admonished her in the strongest degree to tell no one, and she promised she would keep hush-hush.
"But, John," she said. "I don’t understand. How did you get away from him?"
He smiled. "When I was thirteen years old I recorded what he was doing to me. I made copies, and hid them in safe places. Then I confronted him. I told him that if anything happened to me or my Aunt Brenda, that recording would go to the police. He used to threaten me all the time that if I told anyone that he would kill Brenda. It was an effective threat, because she was the only one who cared about me. I became afraid to talk to anyone. Unless I'm working a scene, or with you, talking still makes me nervous."
John ran his hand over her hair, loving the color and the feel of it.
"Then one day at grade school the indomitable little Kelly came to my rescue. I am so glad that I broke that jerk's arm, and you went to the school principle. How would I have found you otherwise? You were like the sun to me, when I was in the dark.
God you were a happy child. So cheerful, so alive, and so beautiful. I was fascinated. I couldn’t keep away from you. Didn't you think it odd how I used to follow you around and just watch you whenever possible?"
"Nope," she said. "I kind of thought of you like a big brother."
John laughed over that. Sitting side by side, he bumped shoulders with her. "I felt just like someone from the stone-age who had discovered fire. Being around you warmed my empty, hungry soul."
"Oh, John," she said in a sympathetic tone. "I had no idea."
Her eyes filled and John studied her for a moment until a tear began to trail down her cheek. Awed, he touched it with a finger. She had shed this tear for him. Will I ever be able to cry, he wondered? But it doesn't really matter now, because Kelly will cry for me.
John put his arm around her, and pulled her close against him. "I told my father that the recording would be sent if anything happened to me, too, so my father and I came to an agreement. Basically I out blackmailed him, and then moved in with my aunt."
"I lived with Aunt Brenda for the first six years of my life, did I tell you that? My parents would visit me from time to time, when I was a child, but not often. I didn't understand who they were. They finally took me 'home' when I was old enough to not be a problem I guess. I cried to be away from Brenda, the only mother I had known. And then the beatings started and the threats…," he swallowed and in the silence of the room the sound seemed loud. "… and the other things," he finished.
He sighed. "You're getting the short version here, Kelly. There is so much to tell, but the main thing is – my father is still an extremely dangerous man."
"While I haven't talked to him in years, we are in a temporary truce. My father has documented things about me, some of it made up – some of it not so much. His intention was to make people think that I am mentally unstable. I suppose he anticipated that if my recording came out he would convince people that it was fabricated. As he is a prominent man of the community, he could possibly make it stick. So the truce is uneasy, but it works."
They left the Basement at five a.m. as the cleaners were coming in at six. John planned to pick Kelly up at her apartment later that day. Against all his better judgments and objections, she had finally convinced him.
John was going to have Sunday dinner at Kelly's parent's home and meet the entire family.
7. Family Dinner
Sunday afternoon, Kelly and John visited her family.
John drove his silver Mercedes sports car into the circular driveway, with Kelly in the passenger's seat. He knew exactly where her childhood home was, of course, having walked by it many times as a child on the way to and from school.
John hated catching the school bus, so walking had been the best option. 'Do anything in order to keep away from other people' had been his motto. With the amount of anger and hate he had inside him as a child, the walking option was safer for him… and safer for them, too.
The weather was clear, damp, and cool, fairly typical for April. Mt. Hood, the highest peak in Oregon at over 11,000 feet could be easily seen as he had left his bungalow. The mountain was only about fifty miles from Portland, covered in snow, and shining in sunset tinges of pinks and purple in the late afternoon.
The common sardonic saying by Portlander's was, 'If you can see the mountain, it's going to rain.' That and, 'If you can’t see the mountain, it's raining already.' John could tell it was most certainly going to rain later as it often did, particularly during spring.
Kelly patted his arm. "You seem tense," she said. "Just relax and be yourself. They're going to love you."
John parked near the front of the white, two story Classic Revival mansion, beside the two tall pillars that stood on either side of the front door. He switched off his car, and turned toward her.
"I hope we aren't making a mistake, Kelly. I've told you I'm just not good around people. Isn’t this a little fast?" he asked again. "Don't you think it is too soon to meet your family?"
"Nope," she said in her naturally positive manner. "I don't care. We'll work it out, John. You're very important to me. My family will get used to you, and you'll get used to them, too. We have to start sometime, and I don’t see any benefit in waiting. What for? 'Don’t put off until tomorrow' and all that. It'll work out."
"You aren't going to tell them we're engaged, right?"
She laughed. "No, that would be a little too much. I don’t want to scare them to death, but I do want to show them my ring."
Kelly held out her right hand, and smiled happily at the daisy ring that she wore next to her little finger. At great expense, John had designed that ring, and had the jeweler make it and deliver it within five days. Pink sapphires and diamonds were set in gold, all resulting in a graceful, circular bouquet of pink and white daisies. John couldn't have expected a better reaction to his gift.
An unfamiliar array of emotion washed over him whenever Kelly admired that ring; pride, joy, and pleasure at her obvious delight. It was particularly pleasing because he had made her happy.
I always want her to be happy, John thought. Kelly was a naturally cheerful sort of soul anyway, so making her even happier was the easiest thing in the world.
John felt that familiar tightening sensation in his chest, which he was beginning to associate with his heart. It seemed that as André Chevalier had assured him, John did have a heart after all. Being with Kelly had allowed him to discover it. Right now his heart was coming to life, and it was unreservedly centered on her.
"Find someone, John," André Chevalier had said, "and love them so hard that it hurts." Well, John had done just that. Thinking of Kelly and seeing her happy caused that clearly recognizable and exquisitely painful ache in his chest.
"I'm really glad you like that ring, Kelly," he said. "And I'm pleased that you don’t intend to tell them we're engaged. You need to know me much better before you decide to become engaged to me anyway."
When Kelly tried to interrupt, John said, "No, listen to me. It's just like jumping to conclusions about that file, Kelly. You don’t have sufficient information. You don’t know me well enough. I understand that we feel the same right now - we equally want to spend every minute together. We are both crazy in love, but that may wear off, Kelly. Not in my case - never in my case, but it might in yours."
Kelly was glowering, and she looked so insulted and mutinous that John wanted to laugh.
John had laughed and smiled more with Kelly than he had in his entire life. She was such an angry, furry, soft little kitten sometimes. Yet she still seemed, so often, to get her own way. He hid a smile and thought, except in bed. By God he was in charge of her there, and didn’t she just love being ordered around and utterly dominated during sex?
Yet there was nothing John wouldn’t do for Kelly Flynn.
For a start, he really hadn’t wanted to come to this family dinner, and somehow here he was. How had Kelly done it? Manipulating him into doing something he so completely hated even the idea of? He would have to be careful or she would Top him like Donna often seemed to Top Colin – when they weren't having sex anyway. Colin dominated Donna completely during a scene, but outside of the bedroom? Not so much.
John sighed. "Living with me, and being with me Kelly…." He took the keys out of his car and popped them in the pocket of his black leather jacket. "Well, the reality may be harder than you could have ever expected. My beautiful girl," he said touching her face with the tips of his fingers. "Don't get trapped by me, Kelly, not until you know what you're getting into."
"Okay, John," she said unhappily.
John just stared at her. She was so, so, pretty, with that long orange hair that he loved to fist with both hands. A vision of her on her knees came to him, a memory of her beautiful mouth wrapped around his cock. John was stiff right now, but he was used to that. His mindless cock was often hard. But now at least the damn thing had good reason. Who wouldn't find Kelly the most gorgeous girl ever? But she was a little annoyed with him, and
she looked so damn cute, especially when provoked.
Feeling an urgent need to make her understand, and to make her smile John leaned over, cupped her face, and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
"You're the best person in the whole world, Kelly Flynn. If you do end up staying with me I swear that I'll spend my entire life just trying to be worthy of you."
At that, Kelly's demeanor changed. John was pleased to see that yielding, soft, absolutely female smile back on her face – not to mention the heartfelt devotion in her eyes. Why did she care for him? John still didn’t understand it.
His chest tightened, and it hurt once again.
It was that sweet yet terrible ache of painful pleasure, just from witnessing Kelly's heartfelt expression of love.
8. Kelly's Plan
Kelly's mind was echoing with John's words, You're the best person in the whole world, Kelly Flynn. If you do end up staying with me I swear that I'll spend my entire life just trying to be worthy of you.
Wow. John Taylor took her breath away.
They both walked inside, and for once her mother wasn't nearby. John shrugged off his jacket and helped Kelly with her coat, and Kelly put them in the closet. Kelly checked her watch, knowing everyone would have already sat down.
Decisions, decisions: To be late, which would annoy her mother? Or to make John suffer pre-dinner chats? Kelly had decided to be late, because John could settle down and become comfortable over dinner when everyone was eating.
Kelly had seen her mother's face peeking out the window as they drove in, no doubt checking out John's car. Mom would have decided that John might be okay if he could afford a Mercedes.
Dressed in a simple yet elegant green sheath dress with high heels and with an orange and yellow scarf decorously hiding the hickies around her neck, Kelly led John into the dining room, holding his hand.
"Hey everyone, sorry we're late," she said, offering no explanation.