Marci knew she must’ve made a sight, sitting in the middle of the floor in her room, surrounded by books and stacks of paper, tears streaming down her face. Tyler, who’d never seen her cry before as she usually managed to hide her tears from others whenever she couldn’t put a stop to them altogether, rushed over and enveloped her in a hug she needed very much. Sitting next to her on the floor and keeping an arm around her, he said, “Sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m finished. I finally turned it in.” She’d pulled an all-nighter the night before, finishing up her project for Professor Ming as it had to be beyond the best Ming had ever seen in order to rescue her grade. She was just sleep-deprived. She was very much in need of sleep.
“And?” Tyler prodded. “You’re not going to tell me those are tears of joy. You haven’t been yourself since you got home from Jersey. And you’re not going to tell me that has anything to do with school. You handle school. You make it your bitch. So what’s really wrong?”
Marci rested her forehead against Tyler’s shoulder. “Promise not to judge me?” She was tired. Tired in so many ways. Definitely tired of holding this back.
“Do I ever?”
“He ruined it.” Marci sniffled. “No I did, we ruined everything.”
“Huh?” The note of utter confusion in Tyler’s voice reminded her of how well she’d hidden her thing with Owen. Ronnie had figured it out in Jersey but hadn’t said much about it as she’d obviously had bigger concerns to deal with at the time.
“I love you, you know that?” Marci wrapped her arms around Tyler.
“I know.” He squeezed her in response.
She had great friends, but that didn’t take the place of…something was missing without—without…Owen? Surely, Owen hadn’t been right about her supposed phantom feelings for him. And even if he had been, they were both better off this way. Owen deserved someone who’d let herself fall in love. Marci had no interest in such things. There were more important things to her in life, and there always would be. After she got through her dissertation, there would be finding a good assistant professorship. Then publication. Then tenure. Then department chair. Then who knew after that? Yes, there would always be more important things. Love, the romantic kind anyway, was just an impediment to ambition.
Tyler held her and told her it would all be okay until Marci was over the worst of her sobs and her inner rant. Then she told him the entire Owen saga. When she was done, he let out a low whistle.
“That doesn’t sound anything like you,” Tyler said.
“And you see? I’m paying the price now.” Marci took a deep yet hitching breath.
“Hm.” Tyler pulled back from their hug just enough to peer down at her.
“What’s hm?” Marci looked up at him, worried that he was going to side with Owen. That was the last thing she needed right now. She needed to hear that she’d done the right thing.
“But maybe it was just what you needed,” Tyler said.
Marci opened her mouth, ready to let him have it.
Tyler held up a hand. “Hold on. Hear me out for a moment. You’ve been different for the past few weeks. Happier. More willing to take things in stride. I don’t even think you’ve fought with your mother lately. And that is astounding. Tell me I’m wrong.”
She didn’t want him to be right, but he was.
“That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with Owen,” Marci said stubbornly, clinging to the fallacy she needed. “I mean, I’ve just been so relieved to have that project done for Professor Ming—”
“And how long have you had that project done?” Tyler asked.
“A few weeks.”
“Oh really?” Tyler gave her a stern look with his brown eyes.
“Yep,” Marci said weakly.
“Then what were you doing up all night last night?”
“I was just…”
“Yeah.”
“Just—”
“Uh-huh? I’m listening.”
“Finishing up my project for Professor Ming,” Marci said with a resigned sigh. “I don’t need him to make me happy. Don’t you dare go thinking that.”
“But he sure as hell helped, didn’t he?”
“So what if he did?” Marci shrugged. “It was going to end one day. These things always do. Best to get out before I started lying to myself.”
“Did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Get out before you started lying to yourself.”
“Screw this. I have a paper to finish.”
“Oh no no no. You will take a break. And you will get some sleep tonight.”
“I have work to do.”
“Marci, it’s ten o’clock at night. How much more work do you really think you’re going to get done tonight? Why don’t you let me make you some tea, and we’ll make cupcakes and put on a movie. And then you will get a good night’s sleep. Won’t that be better?”
“Can I have bourbon in the tea?” Marci asked.
Tyler laughed. “You can have whatever you want tonight.”
“Then it might be better.” Marci followed Tyler headed into the kitchen. How and why had she gotten herself into this? She’d taken one look at Owen and let all common sense fly out the window that was how. No matter how much she knew pretty boys were trouble, she had wanted that one. And big surprise. Things had ended up the way she’d expected even if the route there hadn’t been what she’d expected—she had gotten burned.
#
On the Saturday evening after the last day of finals, Owen was headed out to Brynn’s concert downtown before going over to his mom’s house. He pulled on his fleece and knit hat before grabbing his keys. As he texted Brynn that he would be there soon, he walked toward the front door. He hadn’t felt great since before his last fight with Marci. Back in New Jersey. But things with Marci would never lead anywhere constructive. The more distance he put between them, the better he’d feel about it. He had to believe that was true. It was either that or lose his mind.
Owen opened the front door and nearly dropped his phone in shock. He had no idea how this could happen. He could barely even utter the words, “What are you doing here?” She’d nearly caused him heart failure just by standing there, looking so perfect. Looking like the person he’d worshipped once. He would have done anything for her once, and that once wasn’t so long ago.
Kristin stood in front of him with her fist raised, still poised to knock on his door. Her lips formed a small, perfect “O” of surprise. Her blonde hair was swept up under a black beret. A slim fitting winter coat hugged her petite frame. Her blue eyes were widened in shock and surprise. Finally, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her legs clung to his hips.
“Owen!” she cried. “You wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. I had to do something to make you talk to me. I had to see you.”
He set her back on her feet and stepped away from her. “What’s going on here?”
“Baby, I was wrong. You have no idea how sorry I am, how much I’ve missed you. We need to talk. Do you have a minute?” She tugged off her gloves.
He noticed that her cold-reddened left ring finger was bare. The large rock she’d sent a picture message of to him and everybody else in the address book on her phone it seemed was gone.
“Where’s Justin?” He willed his voice to come off as neutral, but he wasn’t sure he pulled it off.
“Gone,” was all Kristin said. “If you let me in, we can talk about it.” She took a step toward him and his apartment.
“I don’t know, Kristin.”
“Please, Owen. After four years together, can’t you spare me a few minutes?”
Owen was in a bad place. This was the worst possible time for this. When he was hurting and confused and angry. He just wasn’t in a place of good judgment. Kristin had shown up at the worst possible time she could have done so.
There was comfort in going back to what was familiar. And he’d loved her once. That once hadn’t be
en so long ago. In any case, she was right. He should at least hear her out. He stepped back from the door, and she walked into the apartment. As he followed her over to the couch in the living room, he texted Brynn that he was going to be late as something had come up.
“Is Dante here?” Kristin looked around warily. Kristin and Dante had never gotten along. She thought Dante was shifty, and Dante was pretty sure Kristin was out to steal Owen’s soul.
“Nah,” Owen said. “He’s already gone to Florida for the break.”
Kristin nodded and perched on the couch. She patted the cushion next to her. Owen sat beside her.
“How have you been?” Kristin put a hand on his knee.
“Okay.” He tensed but didn’t remove her hand. He stared at her fingers, wondering what the hell he was thinking. Was he really considering letting the hailstorm that had been Kristin into his life? Had the likely outnumbered good times been worth the frustration and constant drama?
“I’ve been miserable without you.”
“Really?” Owen asked. She hadn’t looked so miserable in Nassau.
“All those pictures and texts I sent, I just wanted you to be jealous,” she said as if reading his mind. “I wanted you to fight to get me back. And you wouldn’t even say a word. It’s like I was dead to you.”
You kind of were, Owen thought, but he didn’t say anything. He just waited for her to continue.
“I guess there’s no point in dragging this out. In case it’s not super obvious what I’m doing here, let me spell it out. I’m here to get you back.” She moved closer until the outsides of their jean-clad thighs were pressed together before reaching out and clasping his hands in hers.
“What happened to Justin?” He stared at their hands clasped together. He kept waiting to feel something—a relief, a rush, anything—but there was nothing.
“He’s not you, Owen. Nobody’s like you. Nobody’s nearly as wonderful or forgiving or anything that you are. That’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place. Then I did a short-sighted thing and left you. But I know better now. Nobody’s better for me. Nobody’s better period.” She leaned her head on his arm. “I’ll do anything to get you back. To show you how sorry I am that I screwed up. But there’s one thing I won’t do. I refuse to give up on us.”
Owen couldn’t help but think, Why couldn’t it be Marci’s lips saying those words?
“So what about it?” Kristin asked. “Will you give me another chance?”
Owen stared at her as he debated his answer with himself in his mind.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Marci ended up going to Orange County, California to spend Christmas with her mom and Mom’s husband-of-the-moment because she wanted to be as far away as possible from the state where Owen was. Unfortunately, it was January now, and that meant winter break would be over soon. And she would be headed back to Virginia.
Tyler came out to Cali with her, deciding he could also use the mental break. Marci was grateful as it was really good to have both good company and a buffer between her and her “parents.” Ronnie was preoccupied with her uncle in New Jersey. They got updates from her occasionally. Apparently, her uncle was doing well in physical therapy and improving overall.
Marci was dying to ask if Ronnie had heard from Jeremy—and to casually drop in a query about whether Jeremy had mentioned anything about what Owen was up to—but she restrained herself. In fact, she was pretty proud of how well she was able to put the “O” word at the back of her mind—for a few moments a day anyway.
Things were good right now, and she couldn’t even enjoy it. Because of a boy. She’d checked her grades online and discovered Professor Ming had given her an A on her final project. She’d worked her ass off, and it’d paid off. Now, instead of being able to revel in her success, she was sitting here, having to redirect her wayward mind every time it wandered in the wrong direction.
She was annoyed with how she’d let a guy get under her skin. She’d thought she’d armed herself so well against that. Somehow, Owen had snuck past all her defenses. She hadn’t been prepared for someone so…good.
Now that they’d called things off, he kept creeping into her thoughts. The silence of her phone. The texts that she did not receive, not even a Merry Christmas text. These were the things that drove her nearly out of her mind with annoyance—mostly at herself. With anger. And most infuriating of all? With sadness.
The high school boy, that’d been one thing. High school relationships falling apart you could chalk up to statistics and inexperience. Getting cheated on sucked, sure, but them was the breaks as G.K. had reminded her all too often. But the college boy—she’d fallen for him so hard. That breakup had nearly killed her. When she’d found herself treading those dangerous waters once again with Owen, her only option had been to swim like hell for shore. Right?
Marci was lounging out by the pool with her sunglasses on, trying to catch a nap, a few days after New Year’s. She was trying desperately to distract herself with thoughts of the weekend so she wouldn’t think of that fool boy or anything else related to Virginia. Some of her friends from undergrad who lived in L.A. now had invited her to a party, and Tyler had met some people at a club who’d invited him to a party that weekend as well. She was thinking maybe they could go to both when she heard the glass door behind her slide open and shut followed by ear-splitting squealing and howling. Only one creature on the face of the Earth could make such sounds.
“Tyler,” Marci said. She opened her eyes to look up at him through her sunglasses. He was nearly dancing around her lounge chair. “What is with you?”
“You won’t believe this.” He ran the words together and repeated the phrase three times before continuing. “I can barely believe it. So how could you? How could anyone else?” He tried to sit but was up again and flitting around her chair in seconds. “They always say when you least expect it, but still. How. Could. This happen?” Tyler jumped in the air and screamed before perching on the end of her lounge chair. Then he jumped up again and started dancing from foot to foot, apparently incapable of remaining still even for a moment.
“What is it?” Marci asked. “Tell me, please, before you explode.”
“Okay, so I was in the grocery store, minding my own business, shopping for avocadoes for our masks tonight and enough to make some guacamole as well.” He flipped his bangs out of his eyes. “And this guy comes up to me and starts asking me all these questions about avocadoes. At first, I thought he was hitting on me, but I didn’t quite get that vibe from him. So I just answered his questions and was polite, thinking maybe he really was out of his element and he wasn’t usually the one to do the grocery shopping in his house. Whatever. He asked what I do, and I told him, blah blah blah.” Tyler paused and fanned himself with both hands. He jumped up and down a few times before continuing. “Then he tells me he really likes the way I handle an avocado. I go back to thinking maybe he is trying to hit on me after all, and he’s just miserably bad at it. And I’m thinking, even if he is gay, so not my type. Big, sweaty, balding with a ponytail. You just need to shave it all off at that point, you know? Faded black T-shirt that’s been washed to almost gray and wrinkled jeans. Now how much work do you have to do to wrinkle jeans? And so sweaty. I know it’s hot out here, but ew. A stereotypical no,” Tyler said. “But you never know who you’re talking to, so I’m glad I was nice.”
“Who did he turn out to be?” Marci said, thinking he was going to be a screenwriter or something who’d worked with one of Tyler’s favorite celebrities.
“Okay, so he follows up his strange handling the avocado comment with, get this! He says that he’s putting together this pilot for a new sitcom, and I would be perfect for the lead! He gave me an address, and he wants me to drop by and read for the part tomorrow. Get this, they’ve already held the official auditions and are doing callbacks now, but he likes me so much, he wants me to read for it and meet everybody!”
Marci jumped up and hugged him. �
�Tyler, that’s fantastic!” They danced around for a moment.
Tyler babbled, “Oh my God! Of course, it’s not theater, definitely not Broadway, but you have to start somewhere.”
“Tyler, it’s such great news! Your hard work has paid off like I knew it would.”
“Yeah? ‘Cause I wasn’t so sure and was getting less sure all the time.”
“That’s what I’m here for—to remind you of how incredible you are.”
Tyler grinned crack-your-face huge. “So are you coming with me tomorrow to read for this thing?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Tyler hugged her, and they jumped up and down together a final time. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get changed so I can go for a swim.” Tyler turned and looked at the back of the house and let out a low whistle.
“What?” Marci asked even though she was pretty sure she knew what.
“I still don’t understand how you can hate coming out here and staying in this house,” Tyler said. “This place is like a palace from some fairytale.”
The “estate”, and G.K. refused to call it anything else, sprawled out over several acres and included a guesthouse, a pool house, a full tennis court, a swimming pool, a koi pond, and a small orange grove. Not to mention the main house, which took up its fair share of space with its eight bedrooms, ten bathrooms, and a host of other useless and mostly unused rooms. Tyler was in love with his guest room and its en suite bathroom.
“What could there possibly be to hate about coming to this place?” Tyler asked.
Marci snorted. “Have you met the people who live in it?”
Tyler patted her shoulder. “Oh, Marce. One of these days, we’ll get that chip off for you.”
“Whatever. Go change, superstar. The sooner you swim, the sooner we can get to our facials.”
“True.” Tyler bounded off toward the house.
Marci was excited for him, and she loved him, but being around Tyler was exhausting right now. Everything was exhausting. It was hard to get excited about anything when she spent so much time being preoccupied with things she didn’t even want to think about.
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